TEN HOW’S:
How did you get one of your scars?
chicken pox. i think i scratched it? and i have a stack from falling off my bike haha
How did you celebrate your last birthday?
coming home from year 10 camp :L and having a party 5 moths late (i am clearly not very high on my list of priorities)
How are you feeling at this moment?
sort of sad, but happy at the same time? i think?
How did your night go last night?
well, im too lame to go to informal so i sat at home talking to paul who is too lame to go to the formal :L
How did you do in high school?
BRILLIANTLY. ok, so, we dont need to mention english :L
How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
uniform shop
How often do you see ur best friend?
evryday (but not in holidays D=)
How much money did you spend last month?
too much
How old do you want to be when you get married?
in my 20s (im leaving it vague :L)
How old will you be at your next birthday?
17
NINE WHAT’S:
Your mothers name?
Coralie
What did you do last weekend?
work, and birthday party thingo
What is the most important part of your life?
being happy
What would you rather be doing?
hugging someone
What did you last cry over?
a cute song <>
What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
chocolate
What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
he has to make me feel better when im upset
What are you worried about?
not being the best i could be? =S
What did you have for breakfast?
i dont eat breakfast =(
EIGHT HAVE YOU’S:
Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
rofl, of course
Have you ever had your heartbroken?
everyday :) lol, just kidding, hearts dont break, they bend. my heart is learning to be flexible
Have you ever been out of the country?
no
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
everyday :L
Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
yeah
Have you ever had sex on the beach?
rofl, no
Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
er, yeah
Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
yes, harry potter books when they came out, rofl
SEVEN WHO’S:
Who was the last person you saw?
my sister
Who was the last person you texted?
oh, cant be bothered to get up, probably dad? or amy?
Who was the last person you hungout with?
yr 11s at school today + robert and paul
Who was the last person to call you?
er, my sister?
Who did you last hug?
my mummy :)
Who is the last person who texted you?
dont make me get up D=
oh fine
...*gets up*...
...
...
*comes back*
it was amy
Who was the last person you said “i love you” to?
mum or nikki
SIX WHERE?S:
Where does your best friend live?
i would put her address, but you might stalk her =D
Where did you last go?
to my room to get my phone, haha, does that count?
Where did you last hang out?
at school <> in the art quad =L
Where do you go to school?
HURLSTONE =DD
Where is your favorite place to be?
in your arms ;) (actually, its true, i like hugging people)
Where did you sleep last night?
at home?
FIVE DO’S/DOES:
Do you like someone right now?
you know, i think the answer to this is yes, but its like complicated. think of it like a dipole-dipole bond (prad's idea, not mine). its not, like, what it was, which is dispersion, but its not quite hydrogen yet. so its like strong but not very strong. (i wish that analogy wasnt so appropriate :L)
Do you think anyone likes you?
no. everyone hates me =)
Do you ever wish you were someone else?
sometimes, but ultimately, im glad im me =D
Do you know the muffin man?
not personally, but yeah, we've met a few times
Does the future scare you?
yeah, i dont wanna be in year 12, let's stay in limbo :L
FOUR WHY’S:
Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?
because she will put up with me sometimes
Why did you get a myspace?
uhm, i didnt D=
im not cool enough
Why did your parents give you the name you have?
mum saw it on tv when she was pregnant, and it worked well with the middle name they had already picked for me
Why are you doing this survey?
i saw it on amys page, and im lame, and bored
THREE IF’S:
If you could have one super power what would it be?
id be able to make other people happy :L
If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
yeah, but i know i shouldnt, i just wonder what difference it would make (actually, it wouldnt make any difference, im just trying to convince myself that i can be good enough, but it wouldnt really change anything)
If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring one thing what would you bring?
a boat
TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:
Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
no, the past is the past
Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
of course!
ONE LAST QUESTION
Are you happy with your life right now?
i guess, yeah i am. i mean, i have my moments where i get so pissed off with myself and the rest of the world that i just start screaming "I HATE PEOPLE!!" but most of the time i am actually glad that i get to be me. im starting to like me. its a slow process, but its happening.
Showing posts with label hugging fixes everything. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hugging fixes everything. Show all posts
Friday, 24 September 2010
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
We're all just a bunch of magnets
Right now, I am so happy with the person that I am.
I enjoy being me.
And that makes me happy.
(So does seeing little birdies walking along the tops of cars. IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY, OKAY??)
Anyway, so, I meant to post this ages ago, and it was playing at coles today, so I'm like, yeah, I'll blog that song.
This is who I am, to some extent.
I'm the crazy girl who tells you to smile because the world is a beautiful place, that gets excited in English when I say something remotely intelligent (we call them 'English moment's), I'm the girl who tells you to have a happy ending. Who pesters you about your secrets until you have no choice but to tell me, and then I regret hearing them (I know, I know, I should learn. I don't). I'm the girl who has exact trig ratios and a period table blu tacked above my computer, just in case =L. I'm the girl who will always give you a "leagl buddies hug", and who prefers the letter I to Y, G to J, and K to C. I'm the girl who crazy dances to lady gaga when no one can see me, and who singstars to abba when no one can hear me. I'm the girl who believes you're never too old to cry in a corner. I'm the girl who can lie as if it were the truth and never get caught, but I'd rather be honest. I'm the girl who hopes you miss me as you're looking for yourself out there. I'm the girl who thinks she's a magnet. I'm the girl who just wants to be cared about.
And yet, I'm somehow empty...
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey
Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there
Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s time to grow, hey, hey
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol’ jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way
I enjoy being me.
And that makes me happy.
(So does seeing little birdies walking along the tops of cars. IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY, OKAY??)
Anyway, so, I meant to post this ages ago, and it was playing at coles today, so I'm like, yeah, I'll blog that song.
This is who I am, to some extent.
I'm the crazy girl who tells you to smile because the world is a beautiful place, that gets excited in English when I say something remotely intelligent (we call them 'English moment's), I'm the girl who tells you to have a happy ending. Who pesters you about your secrets until you have no choice but to tell me, and then I regret hearing them (I know, I know, I should learn. I don't). I'm the girl who has exact trig ratios and a period table blu tacked above my computer, just in case =L. I'm the girl who will always give you a "leagl buddies hug", and who prefers the letter I to Y, G to J, and K to C. I'm the girl who crazy dances to lady gaga when no one can see me, and who singstars to abba when no one can hear me. I'm the girl who believes you're never too old to cry in a corner. I'm the girl who can lie as if it were the truth and never get caught, but I'd rather be honest. I'm the girl who hopes you miss me as you're looking for yourself out there. I'm the girl who thinks she's a magnet. I'm the girl who just wants to be cared about.
And yet, I'm somehow empty...
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like june, hey, hey
Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there
Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s time to grow, hey, hey
Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol’ jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
Stupid timetable
Hello peoples who I'm sure missed me.
I am back, woohoo!
And I have my stupid timetable.
AND I DON'T WANT PECK!!!!!!!!!
So yeah, my teachers for this year are
Chemistry - Peck
English - Schultz
Maths - Dillon
Legal - Pollock
Modern - Pollock
Physics - Trotter
Maths offline - Dillon
Please tell me if you have any classes with me =)
Oh, and can you guys do something for me?
Take your left hand, and put it on your right shoulder blade, and leave it there.
Now take your right hand, and put it on yor left shoulder blade.
Now, squeeeeeeeze.
That was your hug from me =)
Don't say I never give you anything.
I am back, woohoo!
And I have my stupid timetable.
AND I DON'T WANT PECK!!!!!!!!!
So yeah, my teachers for this year are
Chemistry - Peck
English - Schultz
Maths - Dillon
Legal - Pollock
Modern - Pollock
Physics - Trotter
Maths offline - Dillon
Please tell me if you have any classes with me =)
Oh, and can you guys do something for me?
Take your left hand, and put it on your right shoulder blade, and leave it there.
Now take your right hand, and put it on yor left shoulder blade.
Now, squeeeeeeeze.
That was your hug from me =)
Don't say I never give you anything.
Friday, 1 January 2010
Happy Today!
It's finally here.
2010.
It's so... big, and scary.
And I think, something's meant to be different.
But it doesn't feel any different.
I'm just as scared and confused about everything.
And a list of stupid resolutions aren't going to change anything.
And I've already broken the nailbiting one. At about 1 o'clock this morning.
---
And... I miss my family.
No one's ever around. Between work, and visiting my grandfather, and making plans... we just don't see each other. And now whenever we do see each other, we all tell each other off. (Although I did lose $75)
I think I'll enjoy our holiday in a few days.
Simply because there will be no distractions, we'll get to be us. The whole time.
...that will be nice.
---
I told you I was scared. And you comforted me. You told me I didn't have to be scared. You told me that sometimes I should just give in, and do what I want. But that's even scarier. And this is something that has been scaring and confusing me since we started joking about your birthday. And I haven't told you, but I feel like if I don't give in, I'll disappoint you too much. And I always disappoint you. And I'm sick of it. And I wish I could make you happy without everyone in the world thinking differently of me. And usually, I can. But sometimes...
---
I avoid some people on purpose
I’ve thought about cheating (but you brought it up)
I hate the way I look most of the time
I actually like the way I look most of the time
I’ve been swimming in an ocean
I’ve been swimming in a lake
I have a sibling
I have pets
I’ve been on vacation recently
I love meeting new people
I am insanely shy
I’m on a sports team
My best friend is a boy (one of)
I play music
I don’t remember the last time I mailed a letter
I talk on the phone almost every night
I drink milk almost every day
I’ve kissed someone in a bathroom
I’ve kissed someone in bed
I’ve kissed someone at school
I’ve kissed someone I just met
I’ve kissed a good friend
I like to read
I like to watch tv
I couldn’t care less about video games
I hate my mom and dad
I’ve had a crush on someone for 5+ years
I’ve never asked someone out
I can touch my nose with my tongue
I love pizza
I actually love going grocery shopping
I love to travel
I’ve been to another continent
I wish I had time to watch more movies (I wish I had a better time budget)
I miss being a little kid
I’ve been to a public pool recently
Summer is my favorite time of the year
Winter is my favorite time of the year
I have a favorite holiday
I have a favorite holiday other than Christmas
I’ve been to a concert recently this year (not much has happened this year :L)
I drive
I have my own car
My room is almost always messy
I’m listening to music right now
Music helps me work
The last person I texted was a boy
I want a new phone really bad
I love cartoons family guy.
The last thing I drank was water
I used to play with barbies
I collect something (paychecks and movie tickets, and the things you get in christmas crackers)
I’ve been to a carnival recently
I know what syncopation is
I need to charge my phone
I have a huge crush on someone right now
I’ve kissed someone within the last 24 hours
I’m still in my pyjamas
I have to go to school tomorrow
I need to clean something
I’ve hurt myself on purpose
I’ve thrown up on purpose
I’ve broken a bone
I’ve eaten something weird
I’m an extremely picky eater
I’ve been out to eat recently
I love going to the mall
I hate big groups
I remember the last party I went to (i guess last night sorta counta)
I’m on the phone right now
I’m watching tv right now
I’m eating right now
I’m on the phone, watching tv, and eating right now
People say I’m funny
People say I’m pretty (only you)
I’ve been told that I have gorgeous eyes
I need new clothes really badly
My hair is up right now
I need to shave my legs
I remember the last time I went to the doctor
I actually use my locker at school (its always full of year before stuff though :L)
I get good grades
I have a MySpace
I showered last night
I spy with my little eye something that is green
I spy with my little eye something that is round
I spy with my little eye something that is broken
I’ve had surgery
Someone I know has died
Someone I know has had cancer (no one told me he had cancer until he passed away 2 weeks ago)
It’s past my bedtime
I’ve moved before
I’ve moved 4+ times
I’ve gotten something removed
People tell me that I have good hair
People tell me that they like my clothes
I wish I had some money right now
I have a job (one shift in 3 weeks is NOTAJOB)
I need a job
I actually got a stupid class ring
I’m listening to someone talking right now
I wish I could talk to the boy I like right now
I’ve kissed someone in front of my parents
I’ve kissed someone on New Year’s (haha)
I love Halloween
I remember the last time I tripped (yesterday)
I can see a picture of me from where I’m sitting
I can see my reflection from where I’m sitting
I’m kinda scared of the dark
It’s hard to sleep with the door open
It’s hard to sleep without a blanket
It’s morning
I played soccer when I was little
I played basketball when I was little
My ears are pierced
My belly button is pierced
I plan on going to college
I plan on getting married
I plan on having some kids
I babysit
I still get an allowance
I curse a lot
I got so drunk last night (everyone else did :L)
I’ve been to a wedding recently
I’ve met someone special on vacation (special only because i wrote part of my story about them)
I have an accent
I know someone who has been homeschooled
I know someone in a band
I can sing really well (i can singstar :L)
I can dance really well
I suck at math
I’ve never slow danced with anyone
I suck at spelling
I recycle
I am pro-choice
I know some rednecks
I want to get a tattoo
I want to get a new piercing
I hate MTV and VH1
I miss an ex
I still love an ex
I’ve slapped someone
I’ve punched someone
I’ve been told that I have a nice butt
I think my boobs are too small
I wish I could lose some weight
I can play the guitar
I can speak another language
I am fluent in another language
I can play the piano
I’ve been told that I can’t dance
I’m a cheerleader
I have a sweet tattoo
I have a sweet facial piercing
I need to practice something
I want to go to Mexico
I want to go to Canada
I’ve traveled across the country
I live on the east coast
I went to the beach last summer
I remember the last time I was insanely sunburned
I like to waste time
I like to sleep
I think I’m going to get asked out soon
I keep a journal
I don’t remember the last dream I had
My first kiss kinda sucked
I think smoking cigarettes is gross
I’m wearing something that belongs to someone else
My mom fixed the last meal I had
I’ve never gotten my nails done
I should be doing homework right now
I’m adopted
I love sappy movies
I love horror movies
I love musicals
I’ve seen a broadway show
The last person I hugged was my mom
All of my grandparents are alive
I miss my boyfriend
I haven’t talked to my best friend all day
People tell me that I’m short
Sometimes my socks don’t match
I can’t wait till my birthday
I’m a procrastinator
I’m not like everyone else
I like strawberries
I like thunderstorms
Someone’s mad at me right now
I hate when people are rude
I’m an optimist
My first relationship ended badly
I love when boys hold doors open
I’ve kissed 2+ people in one day
I’ve had a boy sleep over at my house
I bite my nails
I’ve been caught doing drugs
I’ve been caught cheating
I haven’t been to Disneyland/Disneyworld
I’ve passed out from drinking
I get angry easily
I’m laid back
I hate most girls
I love getting new shoes
I hate Chinese food
I don’t remember the last time I was grounded
I’ve been in love before
I’ve been cheated on
There are certain songs that remind me of my ex
I gave someone their first kiss
I straighten my hair more often than I should
I’ve been to a funeral this year (this year is very small, but i did last year)
I am insanely hungry right now
Welcome to 2010!!
2010.
It's so... big, and scary.
And I think, something's meant to be different.
But it doesn't feel any different.
I'm just as scared and confused about everything.
And a list of stupid resolutions aren't going to change anything.
And I've already broken the nailbiting one. At about 1 o'clock this morning.
---
And... I miss my family.
No one's ever around. Between work, and visiting my grandfather, and making plans... we just don't see each other. And now whenever we do see each other, we all tell each other off. (Although I did lose $75)
I think I'll enjoy our holiday in a few days.
Simply because there will be no distractions, we'll get to be us. The whole time.
...that will be nice.
---
I told you I was scared. And you comforted me. You told me I didn't have to be scared. You told me that sometimes I should just give in, and do what I want. But that's even scarier. And this is something that has been scaring and confusing me since we started joking about your birthday. And I haven't told you, but I feel like if I don't give in, I'll disappoint you too much. And I always disappoint you. And I'm sick of it. And I wish I could make you happy without everyone in the world thinking differently of me. And usually, I can. But sometimes...
---
I avoid some people on purpose
I’ve thought about cheating (but you brought it up)
I hate the way I look most of the time
I actually like the way I look most of the time
I’ve been swimming in an ocean
I’ve been swimming in a lake
I have a sibling
I have pets
I’ve been on vacation recently
I love meeting new people
I am insanely shy
I’m on a sports team
My best friend is a boy (one of)
I play music
I don’t remember the last time I mailed a letter
I talk on the phone almost every night
I drink milk almost every day
I’ve kissed someone in a bathroom
I’ve kissed someone in bed
I’ve kissed someone at school
I’ve kissed someone I just met
I’ve kissed a good friend
I like to read
I like to watch tv
I couldn’t care less about video games
I hate my mom and dad
I’ve had a crush on someone for 5+ years
I’ve never asked someone out
I can touch my nose with my tongue
I love pizza
I actually love going grocery shopping
I love to travel
I’ve been to another continent
I wish I had time to watch more movies (I wish I had a better time budget)
I miss being a little kid
I’ve been to a public pool recently
Summer is my favorite time of the year
Winter is my favorite time of the year
I have a favorite holiday
I have a favorite holiday other than Christmas
I’ve been to a concert recently this year (not much has happened this year :L)
I drive
I have my own car
My room is almost always messy
I’m listening to music right now
Music helps me work
The last person I texted was a boy
I want a new phone really bad
I love cartoons family guy.
The last thing I drank was water
I used to play with barbies
I collect something (paychecks and movie tickets, and the things you get in christmas crackers)
I’ve been to a carnival recently
I know what syncopation is
I need to charge my phone
I have a huge crush on someone right now
I’ve kissed someone within the last 24 hours
I’m still in my pyjamas
I have to go to school tomorrow
I need to clean something
I’ve hurt myself on purpose
I’ve thrown up on purpose
I’ve broken a bone
I’ve eaten something weird
I’m an extremely picky eater
I’ve been out to eat recently
I love going to the mall
I hate big groups
I remember the last party I went to (i guess last night sorta counta)
I’m on the phone right now
I’m watching tv right now
I’m eating right now
I’m on the phone, watching tv, and eating right now
People say I’m funny
People say I’m pretty (only you)
I’ve been told that I have gorgeous eyes
I need new clothes really badly
My hair is up right now
I need to shave my legs
I remember the last time I went to the doctor
I actually use my locker at school (its always full of year before stuff though :L)
I get good grades
I have a MySpace
I showered last night
I spy with my little eye something that is green
I spy with my little eye something that is round
I spy with my little eye something that is broken
I’ve had surgery
Someone I know has died
Someone I know has had cancer (no one told me he had cancer until he passed away 2 weeks ago)
It’s past my bedtime
I’ve moved before
I’ve moved 4+ times
I’ve gotten something removed
People tell me that I have good hair
People tell me that they like my clothes
I wish I had some money right now
I have a job (one shift in 3 weeks is NOTAJOB)
I need a job
I actually got a stupid class ring
I’m listening to someone talking right now
I wish I could talk to the boy I like right now
I’ve kissed someone in front of my parents
I’ve kissed someone on New Year’s (haha)
I love Halloween
I remember the last time I tripped (yesterday)
I can see a picture of me from where I’m sitting
I can see my reflection from where I’m sitting
I’m kinda scared of the dark
It’s hard to sleep with the door open
It’s hard to sleep without a blanket
It’s morning
I played soccer when I was little
I played basketball when I was little
My ears are pierced
My belly button is pierced
I plan on going to college
I plan on getting married
I plan on having some kids
I babysit
I still get an allowance
I curse a lot
I got so drunk last night (everyone else did :L)
I’ve been to a wedding recently
I’ve met someone special on vacation (special only because i wrote part of my story about them)
I have an accent
I know someone who has been homeschooled
I know someone in a band
I can sing really well (i can singstar :L)
I can dance really well
I suck at math
I’ve never slow danced with anyone
I suck at spelling
I recycle
I am pro-choice
I know some rednecks
I want to get a tattoo
I want to get a new piercing
I hate MTV and VH1
I miss an ex
I still love an ex
I’ve slapped someone
I’ve punched someone
I’ve been told that I have a nice butt
I think my boobs are too small
I wish I could lose some weight
I can play the guitar
I can speak another language
I am fluent in another language
I can play the piano
I’ve been told that I can’t dance
I’m a cheerleader
I have a sweet tattoo
I have a sweet facial piercing
I need to practice something
I want to go to Mexico
I want to go to Canada
I’ve traveled across the country
I live on the east coast
I went to the beach last summer
I remember the last time I was insanely sunburned
I like to waste time
I like to sleep
I think I’m going to get asked out soon
I keep a journal
I don’t remember the last dream I had
My first kiss kinda sucked
I think smoking cigarettes is gross
I’m wearing something that belongs to someone else
My mom fixed the last meal I had
I’ve never gotten my nails done
I should be doing homework right now
I’m adopted
I love sappy movies
I love horror movies
I love musicals
I’ve seen a broadway show
The last person I hugged was my mom
All of my grandparents are alive
I miss my boyfriend
I haven’t talked to my best friend all day
People tell me that I’m short
Sometimes my socks don’t match
I can’t wait till my birthday
I’m a procrastinator
I’m not like everyone else
I like strawberries
I like thunderstorms
Someone’s mad at me right now
I hate when people are rude
I’m an optimist
My first relationship ended badly
I love when boys hold doors open
I’ve kissed 2+ people in one day
I’ve had a boy sleep over at my house
I bite my nails
I’ve been caught doing drugs
I’ve been caught cheating
I haven’t been to Disneyland/Disneyworld
I’ve passed out from drinking
I get angry easily
I’m laid back
I hate most girls
I love getting new shoes
I hate Chinese food
I don’t remember the last time I was grounded
I’ve been in love before
I’ve been cheated on
There are certain songs that remind me of my ex
I gave someone their first kiss
I straighten my hair more often than I should
I’ve been to a funeral this year (this year is very small, but i did last year)
I am insanely hungry right now
Welcome to 2010!!
Sunday, 8 November 2009
Miss me.
Confession #13: I just realised that I haven't blogged all week and thus broke my new years resolution. In bloody november =(
"The average person tells 4 lies a day, or 1460 a year a total of 88,000 by the age of 60. And the most common lie is: I’m fine."
"They say I'm like my mother......" - katielea
Dammit. Sometime I feel like a royal idiot.
And I'm not really sure why.
I mean, I can't really think of something particularly stupid I've done lately.
I'm just so sad.
Most of the time it's because big things are so far out of my control and I want to help, or stop things from happening, or just create a smile, but I can't. Because I'm so insignificant.
I feel like stuffing a huge pillow in my face.
Or whacking myself over the head with something.
I feel like hiding, actually.
Because everything is so much bigger than me.
And I am so small.
I don't even matter.
I'm trying so hard to be better, to do better, to act better.
I'm not so sure I even know what IS better.
What am I comparing it all to?
...what the hell am I even doing?
I know that.
I know they're not the best.
I just don't know what I want from the best.
I don't know what I want from myself.
I don't know where I'm going.
And I don't know who I'm taking.
But you're all welcome to come along for the ride.
And then you mention something that you've been hiding the whole time and there's nothing I can really do but cry because you didn't trust me to know in the first and you definately don't trust me to be able to help and I thought that maybe I was actually good for you but now I realise that I'm exactly what you don't need and nothing I ever do will be good enough for someone as beautiful as you and I know I'm not worth it but I thought I was because I've always put all this effort into doing the right thing before I realise that what I'm doing is wrong and it's a vicious cycle I'm stuck in and in the end I know I'm just going to end up lonely.
I don't even know who would miss me at this stage.
Everyone seems so happy to just walk away and leave me here.
I think people just assume I don't need them.
Because I don't tell them everyday like I used to.
And I want to tell you all how much I need you.
But I'm so embarrassed.
To be tied to something so insignificant.
Ugh, I think I need to go to bed.
Sorry for my ranting.
Dammit. Sometime I feel like a royal idiot.
And I'm not really sure why.
I mean, I can't really think of something particularly stupid I've done lately.
I'm just so sad.
Most of the time it's because big things are so far out of my control and I want to help, or stop things from happening, or just create a smile, but I can't. Because I'm so insignificant.
I feel like stuffing a huge pillow in my face.
Or whacking myself over the head with something.
I feel like hiding, actually.
Because everything is so much bigger than me.
And I am so small.
I don't even matter.
I'm trying so hard to be better, to do better, to act better.
I'm not so sure I even know what IS better.
What am I comparing it all to?
...what the hell am I even doing?
I know that.
I know they're not the best.
I just don't know what I want from the best.
I don't know what I want from myself.
I don't know where I'm going.
And I don't know who I'm taking.
But you're all welcome to come along for the ride.
And then you mention something that you've been hiding the whole time and there's nothing I can really do but cry because you didn't trust me to know in the first and you definately don't trust me to be able to help and I thought that maybe I was actually good for you but now I realise that I'm exactly what you don't need and nothing I ever do will be good enough for someone as beautiful as you and I know I'm not worth it but I thought I was because I've always put all this effort into doing the right thing before I realise that what I'm doing is wrong and it's a vicious cycle I'm stuck in and in the end I know I'm just going to end up lonely.
I don't even know who would miss me at this stage.
Everyone seems so happy to just walk away and leave me here.
I think people just assume I don't need them.
Because I don't tell them everyday like I used to.
And I want to tell you all how much I need you.
But I'm so embarrassed.
To be tied to something so insignificant.
Ugh, I think I need to go to bed.
Sorry for my ranting.
Saturday, 11 July 2009
Hatred.
Things I hate:
*When people don't read my blog
*Cats
*The colour pink
*Songs without lyrics (yes pink floyd, im looking at you)
*The concept of exercise
*Some teachers
*Feeling stupid
*Being cold
*Being tired
*Feeling sick
*Cheerleaders
*Shallow people (Mr Someone...)
*When people steal my mars bar in ag
*When both of my pairs of blue jeans are in the wash
*People who insult NCIS
*English staffroom.
*Teachers who give too much homework
*People who are purposely hard to get along with (<>)
*Not finding words in dictionary, or dictionary.com, or google define, or wikipedia (maybe they're not words)
*Not getting emails
*Inside jokes
*You. Just kidding =) a ha ha!
*People who discriminate
*Nights withought stars
*Days without clouds
*Double p.e.
*Skirts
*School uniform
*Seeing peoples ties under their collars
*When people are taller than me. I'm getting better though :L
*Forgetting things
*People who don't trust people they say they do
*Being judged
*Swine flu
*Being lonely in the rain
*When no one agrees with me
*Feeling alone
*English staffroom.
*Teachers who give too much homework
*People who are purposely hard to get along with (<>)
*Not finding words in dictionary, or dictionary.com, or google define, or wikipedia (maybe they're not words)
*Not getting emails
*Inside jokes
*You. Just kidding =) a ha ha!
*People who discriminate
*Nights withought stars
*Days without clouds
*Double p.e.
*Skirts
*School uniform
*Seeing peoples ties under their collars
*When people are taller than me. I'm getting better though :L
*Forgetting things
*People who don't trust people they say they do
*Being judged
*Swine flu
*Being lonely in the rain
*When no one agrees with me
*Feeling alone
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
The horrors of the world
Everything is going all good again.
I guess, everything has a habit of doing that.
For me, at least.
We were talking in English today about Animal Farm. Someone that said that no matter what someone had, they would always want more. They said that no one's ever going to be happy with what they have, they always want more power, more beauty, more friends.
I don't understand that.
I think maybe I'm a little naive, because I don't understand why someone would be unhappy with their life.
Why do you need more than what you have?
Why do you feel you deserve it?
I can honestly say that I am happy right now.
I can honestly say that I love my life, and myself.
And I can say, with some level of honesty, that I don't want anything more than what I have.
I mean, sure, I'd like to get better grades every now and then. (Like better than 54% for English hy, and 60% for History research task). And I'd like to have a little more time in my day. I wouldn't mind having a different maths teacher either...
But the point is, I wouldn't change those things. Even if I was told I could change any of that and have the rest of my life stay the same, I wouldn't do it. Because the lack of perfection is what gives me something to work towards. I can learn to study harder, to manage my time a little better, to put up with people who annoy me.
In English today, I didn't understand why the pigs wanted things better for themselves than others. Is the book saying that the smarter species will automatically be cruel and power hungry, and work a lower species to death? I don't understand. Why can't the idea of communism exist peacefully? Will this always happen? Why?
So Hancock wrote some stupid thing on the board about power. Power corrupts. But why does this happen? Why do people with power always want more? Why can no one be satisfied with how much power they have? Why?
...I really am naive, aren't I?
But you know what, I LIKE being naive.
So don't tell me anything about the horrors of the world.
I won't listen to you anyway. =)
I guess, everything has a habit of doing that.
For me, at least.
We were talking in English today about Animal Farm. Someone that said that no matter what someone had, they would always want more. They said that no one's ever going to be happy with what they have, they always want more power, more beauty, more friends.
I don't understand that.
I think maybe I'm a little naive, because I don't understand why someone would be unhappy with their life.
Why do you need more than what you have?
Why do you feel you deserve it?
I can honestly say that I am happy right now.
I can honestly say that I love my life, and myself.
And I can say, with some level of honesty, that I don't want anything more than what I have.
I mean, sure, I'd like to get better grades every now and then. (Like better than 54% for English hy, and 60% for History research task). And I'd like to have a little more time in my day. I wouldn't mind having a different maths teacher either...
But the point is, I wouldn't change those things. Even if I was told I could change any of that and have the rest of my life stay the same, I wouldn't do it. Because the lack of perfection is what gives me something to work towards. I can learn to study harder, to manage my time a little better, to put up with people who annoy me.
In English today, I didn't understand why the pigs wanted things better for themselves than others. Is the book saying that the smarter species will automatically be cruel and power hungry, and work a lower species to death? I don't understand. Why can't the idea of communism exist peacefully? Will this always happen? Why?
So Hancock wrote some stupid thing on the board about power. Power corrupts. But why does this happen? Why do people with power always want more? Why can no one be satisfied with how much power they have? Why?
...I really am naive, aren't I?
But you know what, I LIKE being naive.
So don't tell me anything about the horrors of the world.
I won't listen to you anyway. =)
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Whenever you smile.
Because I'm a little insane (little! little!) I'm randomly picture blogging again.
My page is going to look mui pretty after this.
But I didn't write any of it :L
A page full of other peoples' pretty thoughts...
Where you looked into a boy's eyes
& felt the world spin from beneath your feet;
it's when you saw in his soul
all the thing that were missing in yours.
I wake up wanting to see you face
I go to sleep wanting you to be there
To sing to me, or hold me throughout the night
I hate fridays and weekends because of you
And I can't get to sleep on sunday nights...
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes, and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
'Cause when there's you, I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
But without you I'm alone
And I'll be waiting by the window for your smile to come through
and I'll be waiting in the darkness when I call out to you
and I'll remember when you told me
I could trust in you
I believe I can
I believe I will
I believe I know my dreams are real
I believe I'll stand
I believe I'll dance
I believe I'll grow real soon and
That is what I do believe
This is love, isn't it?
When you notice someone's absence, and hate that absence more than anything?
More, even, than you love his presence?
Took my hand, touched my heart
Held me close you were always there
By my side night and day
Through it all baby come what may
We both know we'll grow old from here
Cause together we're strong
In my arms, that's where you belong
I've been touched by the hands of an angel
I've been blessed by the power of love
And whenever you smile
I can hardly believe that you're mine
So... yeah. Most of this is song lyrics today, because most of my thoughts are also in songs, which is kinda cool. Anyways, smile, and steal all my pictures and quotes if they mean something to you. I'll be really glad if they do.
P.S: I need you to know that I thought about you a lot today. I sung about you a lot too, and I think at one stage I started crying. I wish I could talk to you again, I miss you so much. I know I never really cared about you that much, and I feel guilty for that, but I need more time. I can't deal without you. I've only recently realised what you meant to me, and I need you back. Just for a little bit, just one smile. Just one hug. I never got to say goodbye.
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
I'm not moving.
If you go into your settings on blogger.
And click on the tab that says "email" it will give you the option to add an email address to which you can send posts, resulting in them being posted.
Or saved as drafts.
This is called Mail2Blogger.
Anyways, because I can copy + paste into emails, but not blogger, the quizzy thing from yesterday, I just emailed it to myself.
That's what I did Rosa.
-----
"Maybe if I saw her smile... then I could live with my decision to let her smile for someone else"
That quote from Calmant definately made me wow.
It's so beautiful, and so... obviously true.
That it would be easier to let go of someone...
And to let them be happy with someone else...
If they really proved to you that they were happy.
But if they couldn't do that...
And if they weren't happy...
Maybe, you shouldn't have to let go
Maybe, you deserve to love them forever...
-----
I'm thinking of having a free hugs competition with someone. Just like my high5s competition. Except, I will count properly this time.
It's just that, I know a lot of people that need a hug, and I'm probably top of that list...
If anyone wants to join my competition, let me know =)
-----
Here's another:
"Hello... I'm Cody, and my heart's been broken for two months and every step I take is one step further from her and closer to the edge I'm too afraid to jump from"
See?! I told you guys smithteens was awesome.
-----
I feel like going outside and dancing in the rain. But I'm getting sick, and I have no one to dance with (my sister would, but she's working).
Everything looks so beautiful and new, I want to go and join it all and be free...
-----
I get closer to you all the time, the dancing, and spinning, and poking never gets old. You really are an incredibly decent person. Thankyou for being so wonderful.
-----
Everyone asked me why I was happy, why I was high, why the hell I was flying. And the truth is I don't know. I just know that today, everything got a hell of a lot easier, like I made some sort of decision to let things be, and I just let them be. I don't when I made that decision, or why I made it, I just know that when I told you I was flying, I didn't only mean on the outside.
-----
The hardest part is balance. I've never had to balance good things before, only bad ones. Not wanting to spend too much time doing any of them. Now I want to do everything, and I still need to balance, it's just getting harder.
-----
Can't be bothered to email myself, or write out all the lyrics, here is a short sample of Man Who Can't Be Moved
If one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this Earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to this place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world
And maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved
And maybe you won't mean to, but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
Cuz you'll know it's just for you
Monday, 30 March 2009
~Break those pillars down!~
For my 200th blog post (you guys didn't even know my blog birthday was coming up, did you?), I've tossed up a lot of ideas. I've thought of some sort of refleciton on how far I've come since my first post, or even since my 100th post. But no, I've decided that today, I am going to inspire myself. Or at least try to. Here goes nothing. (It may actually turn out to be nothing)
Nothing's ever going to be perfect.
Your mind and your heart will never agree on everything.
You will never be certain if it is the right thing to do.
Do It Anyway!
Because life is too short to question everything.
In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime.
It's the difference between the path you walk,
and the one you leave behind.
It's the gap between who you thought you were, and who you really are.
It's the legroom for the lies you'll tell yourself in the future.
And the world will throw you a few surprises.
Fate has a good way of doing that.
And when you make up your mind about everything,
God will laugh in your face and change the rules.
You just have to stick to it.
Always, stick to it.
Life is short, eat too much chocolate.
Because, at the end of the day,
it doesn't matter if you're a little unhealthy
Everyone's gonna die someday...
The best you can do is die happy.
There's no returning,
I keep comparing, you're always winning
I try to be strong but you'll never be more wanted
If everyone was told the world was gonna end in 5 minutes,
everyone would pull out their phones.
They would ring their parents,
their children,
their best friends,
and the people they love most in the world.
Confessions of love would be made worldwide.
The world is not going to end.
And love has no place in our world.
So people keep it inside,
and people burn.
Here's what I do:
I think too much
I drive myself insane
I make up ideas in my mind
I try to understand complexities beyond my comprehension
And I never do anything about it.
And when I do, I stuff up.
But part of me wants to stuff everything up now.
So when it gets to the point where it matters,
there's nothing left to stuff up.
And I get it right.
I have my doubts that this is what I've lived for.
This strange warp of the real me, and the me I pretend to be
OK, so it's not entirely a pretence...
Actually, it is now
Everything's a pretence now
And I have no idea why the hell everything stuffed up.
But it did.
Shit happens.
I'm always gonna try again tomorrow
Because, otherwise, I'm just giving up
And sure, I've always been a quitter
But I'm gonna change that
Yesterday, I made a wish for everything to stay the same
After every wish,
for everything to change,
I finally want it to stay
Not that I'm happy
Just that I know it's gonna get so much worse.
Can you imagine the beauty of such a world?
A world of kindness?
When everyone was nice to each other?
Let's ALL be nice to each other
OKAY?
No, that will never happen
People will always have prejudice
People will always fight
But people will always smile
Some dreams never get realised
Some hopes never get their chance,
Some aspirations hide away, and
Some wishes are never spoken
Then again, some fires never burn out
I cannot change the world; but I can change myself!
No one looks at the sky enough anymore
I do a lot of looking at the sky
I do a lot of wishing
Sure, I'm crazy,
sure, I'm a dreamer
But I smile more than you
And maybe I'll never be as happy as you
But I feel infinite
And until you look at the sky
You'll never know what that's like
And there are a lot of people who never knock down my walls
There are a lot of people who are kept away by walls
Break them!
If this blog has taught me anything,
it's that I don't mind people seeing my mind
I want you to ask questions
I want you to tell secrets
Because it's us against the world
And I think we can win <33
And I am a lot of things
I think my drama assignment taught me that
Sure, it made me realise the things I hate about myself
It made me realise that I don't know myself
But it made me realise what I'm not
So I'm that little bit closer to discovering what I am
So I'm going to love myself
And I'm going to love everyone else
Even the ones that don't love themselves
And I'm going to teach you all a lesson about love
And I will love you unconditionally
And I will love myself unconditionally
They say "treat others as you would like to be treated"
Don't you deserve the same treatment?
Friday, 20 March 2009
Prepared for anything. Well, except that.
OK, so I’m back from camp. But that’s pretty much a blog of its own. (Which I don’t have time for). I am very, very tired (thank you people who let me sleep on them today), but that does NOT mean that I will not blog.
Because, today was… eventful.
1. Giant swing. I am soo stupid. It’s like going on a roller coaster, or to the beach. You always forget that you hate it, so you do it, and you come off thinking “oh shit, that was dumb”. Well, the Giant Swing messed with my head. A lot. And it was very dumb of me to attempt it. BUT my year seveners had fun, (one of them admits that he DOES like me) (I love you William!!) and they hauled each other up there, and whinged about how uncomfortable the harnesses were. (Kearney: “Oh my, that feels fabulous, yeah” *pulls agonized face* “I need a seat life this for my living room”. *finishes swinging* “that tickled”)
2. Argument with friend. Only people at camp will understand this. I know I already said I’m sorry, but I really was joking, and I never meant to upset you, and I know you don’t recognise my sense of humour, but it was a joke. I didn’t mean it, okay? I am seriously sorry.
3. The song I got stuck in my head on the swings. The stupid stupid song. The one that, every time I swing again, will always pop into my head. The one that haunts me.
4. Being told the truth. Being trusted with it. Being confided in, not only because you needed someone to let it out to, but because you consider me a close friend. Thank you.
5. Bus being late. You see, my mum told me yesterday that if the bus got back to school just after 2 that she’d come and get me from school, and take me to uncle dally’s funeral. And then, apparently, some kid wasn’t on the bus, and we left, like, half an hour late, and I was crying so much man. (Thank you for your hug Corinne).
6. Crying even more. Realise I would still make it, rang my mum, and told her to pick me up from school. Then I had to get changed at school, and everyone’s like “Why are you wearing a dress?” and then my silly friends “You’re wearing red to a funeral?” YOU SILLIES. It is NOT mourning a death, it is celebrating a life. And I thought too much a lot, and everything made me cry.
7. Funeral. The service was beautiful. The way everyone spoke about Dal (his full name? Harold David Jourdain) was beautiful, and I saw relatives I’ve never met before, as well as people I haven’t seen in 10 years (and STILL remembered! What an impression). My family is amazing. Helen (the person I remembered) told me that if I ever wanted to run away from home, I could go live with her. =)
Because it fit so perfectly:
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little--but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me--but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss Me--But Let me Go!
Because, today was… eventful.
1. Giant swing. I am soo stupid. It’s like going on a roller coaster, or to the beach. You always forget that you hate it, so you do it, and you come off thinking “oh shit, that was dumb”. Well, the Giant Swing messed with my head. A lot. And it was very dumb of me to attempt it. BUT my year seveners had fun, (one of them admits that he DOES like me) (I love you William!!) and they hauled each other up there, and whinged about how uncomfortable the harnesses were. (Kearney: “Oh my, that feels fabulous, yeah” *pulls agonized face* “I need a seat life this for my living room”. *finishes swinging* “that tickled”)
2. Argument with friend. Only people at camp will understand this. I know I already said I’m sorry, but I really was joking, and I never meant to upset you, and I know you don’t recognise my sense of humour, but it was a joke. I didn’t mean it, okay? I am seriously sorry.
3. The song I got stuck in my head on the swings. The stupid stupid song. The one that, every time I swing again, will always pop into my head. The one that haunts me.
4. Being told the truth. Being trusted with it. Being confided in, not only because you needed someone to let it out to, but because you consider me a close friend. Thank you.
5. Bus being late. You see, my mum told me yesterday that if the bus got back to school just after 2 that she’d come and get me from school, and take me to uncle dally’s funeral. And then, apparently, some kid wasn’t on the bus, and we left, like, half an hour late, and I was crying so much man. (Thank you for your hug Corinne).
6. Crying even more. Realise I would still make it, rang my mum, and told her to pick me up from school. Then I had to get changed at school, and everyone’s like “Why are you wearing a dress?” and then my silly friends “You’re wearing red to a funeral?” YOU SILLIES. It is NOT mourning a death, it is celebrating a life. And I thought too much a lot, and everything made me cry.
7. Funeral. The service was beautiful. The way everyone spoke about Dal (his full name? Harold David Jourdain) was beautiful, and I saw relatives I’ve never met before, as well as people I haven’t seen in 10 years (and STILL remembered! What an impression). My family is amazing. Helen (the person I remembered) told me that if I ever wanted to run away from home, I could go live with her. =)
Because it fit so perfectly:
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little--but not too long
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me--but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss Me--But Let me Go!
Monday, 16 March 2009
Once it's gone, it's lost forever.
It feels like I've had this blog forever, but in all reality, it really hasn't been that long.
Since my blog started, no one close to me has died. People have been sick, people have been hit by cars. But no one has died.
Today, my great-uncle Dally died.
I don't know what happened, they think it was a stroke, but they're not sure. He was found naked in his apartment after his daughter hadn't heard from him in a few days.
I wasn't that close to him, I know. I'm not sure what his first name is, I think it's Harold, but he always went by Dal, his middle name. He made some elf signs that we hang up every Christmas, he attended the odd family gathering.
He could always be counted on to bring a smile to the group. He always had a joke, a laugh, a story. He was the liveliness of the family.
Do you know what scares me the most about his death?
That's another one gone.
My grandfather only has 5 siblings left alive now.
My grandfather who is older than all his siblings, (he turned 85 yesterday).
It's like, every day he gets closer and closer. I know he's still 25 on the inside, he goes running 3 times a week, he fixes cars, he builds things for the garden.
But one day it's gonna happen.
One day he's not gonna be there. He's not gonna come over and tell us his amazing stories. Stories of being in the war. Of risking his life. Stories of his childhood. The depression. Stories of how he went down to the beach and collected coins that had fallen out of pockets, for his mother.
He is amazing in ways no one else will ever understand. He appreciates every single thing other people do for him, yet gives generosity so easily. He spent weeks arguing with the organisers of the ANZAC march, to let relatives of deceased soldiers march, he told them that it wasn't about the ANZACs still alive, it was about the ones that didn't come back.
He is the most caring, selfless person I know, and I'm not ready for him to go.
In year 9 poetry, when we were told to write a poem about our hero, I chose him. I read him his poem, and he asked for a copy, so he could show everyone he knew.
This is my poem:
The Ballad Of Bert
Bert was born before television,
Credit cards and frozen food
Before ball point pens and laser beams,
Before man walked on the moon
He lived in an era when getting married
Came before living together
When a ‘Big Mac’ was a large raincoat
Oversized, and for wet weather
So he grew up, and signed up
To fight in World War II
(He tried when he was underage
But this he could not do)
He was a forward, frontline soldier
As far out as can be
At times he even found himself
In enemy territory
But the war he did survive
Though many were left behind
They died to save their country
And make peace for all mankind
He moved on to his next hobby
Cars became his passion
Buying all cars that caught his eye
Both in and out of fashion
So he started his own business
(Panel-beater by trade)
And kept this business running
Until he aged and greyed
He soon had cancer of the bowel
So he had an operation
But he came back fighting fit
Renewed with determination
And even after operation
He sure did like to run
And not just to keep him fit
He liked to call it ‘fun’
So he ran the ‘City to Surf’
At 81 years young
He reached an incredible time
But still his song remained unsung
So here I am to sing it
In hopes you’ll understand
My grandfather, Bert Jourdain
Is an EXCEPTIONAL man!
Since my blog started, no one close to me has died. People have been sick, people have been hit by cars. But no one has died.
Today, my great-uncle Dally died.
I don't know what happened, they think it was a stroke, but they're not sure. He was found naked in his apartment after his daughter hadn't heard from him in a few days.
I wasn't that close to him, I know. I'm not sure what his first name is, I think it's Harold, but he always went by Dal, his middle name. He made some elf signs that we hang up every Christmas, he attended the odd family gathering.
He could always be counted on to bring a smile to the group. He always had a joke, a laugh, a story. He was the liveliness of the family.
Do you know what scares me the most about his death?
That's another one gone.
My grandfather only has 5 siblings left alive now.
My grandfather who is older than all his siblings, (he turned 85 yesterday).
It's like, every day he gets closer and closer. I know he's still 25 on the inside, he goes running 3 times a week, he fixes cars, he builds things for the garden.
But one day it's gonna happen.
One day he's not gonna be there. He's not gonna come over and tell us his amazing stories. Stories of being in the war. Of risking his life. Stories of his childhood. The depression. Stories of how he went down to the beach and collected coins that had fallen out of pockets, for his mother.
He is amazing in ways no one else will ever understand. He appreciates every single thing other people do for him, yet gives generosity so easily. He spent weeks arguing with the organisers of the ANZAC march, to let relatives of deceased soldiers march, he told them that it wasn't about the ANZACs still alive, it was about the ones that didn't come back.
He is the most caring, selfless person I know, and I'm not ready for him to go.
In year 9 poetry, when we were told to write a poem about our hero, I chose him. I read him his poem, and he asked for a copy, so he could show everyone he knew.
This is my poem:
The Ballad Of Bert
Bert was born before television,
Credit cards and frozen food
Before ball point pens and laser beams,
Before man walked on the moon
He lived in an era when getting married
Came before living together
When a ‘Big Mac’ was a large raincoat
Oversized, and for wet weather
So he grew up, and signed up
To fight in World War II
(He tried when he was underage
But this he could not do)
He was a forward, frontline soldier
As far out as can be
At times he even found himself
In enemy territory
But the war he did survive
Though many were left behind
They died to save their country
And make peace for all mankind
He moved on to his next hobby
Cars became his passion
Buying all cars that caught his eye
Both in and out of fashion
So he started his own business
(Panel-beater by trade)
And kept this business running
Until he aged and greyed
He soon had cancer of the bowel
So he had an operation
But he came back fighting fit
Renewed with determination
And even after operation
He sure did like to run
And not just to keep him fit
He liked to call it ‘fun’
So he ran the ‘City to Surf’
At 81 years young
He reached an incredible time
But still his song remained unsung
So here I am to sing it
In hopes you’ll understand
My grandfather, Bert Jourdain
Is an EXCEPTIONAL man!
Saturday, 14 March 2009
One day it will all finish.
As you read this, you are listening to Sound Relief either on the radio or on Channel V/MAX. And if you are not then SHAME ON YOU.
Haha, my sis asked if the band are only Aussie and Kiwi, and my dad said yes. And I said "but taylor swift is performing". His reply? "Who's that?"
I swear, we are not related.
But we both started singing along to I Got You at the top of our lungs until Mum came in and told us off. :L.
Haha, my Dad and I are like that, there are things we totally disagree on (who wants to watch football? or listen to pink floyd? my dad, thats who) and there are things we totally agree on (his fave movie? music and lyrics. he also like the holiday and love actually.)
And he is awesome for being able to teach me trig with half a slice of bread. =)
(Just to piss Shailin off:
MENTIONING LANA!
BUT ALSO MENTIONING SHAILIN
50-50?)
Are you, by any chance, sad? – J600y
Ok, over the past 2 days, I have been in the weirdest mood. I still get pissed off really easily, and I keep eating junk food. I have not emotionally eaten that much... ever.
I have never written 60 memoirs. That is phenomenal. All of them were...weird. Like my mood.
I think I'm getting close to back to normal now.
I hope.
I. Feel. Everything. Get it now? – Silent_watcher
It takes a while to communicate that to some people. Not only do I feel everything, but I feel everything WORSE than you do. I feel everything you feel. And I feel everything you didn't know existed. I feel pain, I feel happiness, I feel deep hatred, I feel incredible love, I feel total clarity, and I feel mind-twirling confusion. But I feel it all, all the time.
looking up at the same moon.. – Harriet Taylor
This morning, at 7:15, I woke up (don't remind me that it's Saturday, I have a very strong body clock) and looked outside my window. She was there, smiling at me. She said "Good morning Ebony" and I said "It is now" She laughed at my very bad joke and I watched her. NOT in a stalker way (ok, maybe), but she is so beautiful. I just lay there, and watched her shine. Until it hurt to turn my head to see her because she was too far. And then I got up.
Smile. Laugh. Like makeup over scars. – i.am.aspen
I decided yesterday that I was going to tell you guys about my scars. About everything that happened to me, about everything I've never admitted to. About the reason why I lied to my blog, for the first time, a few days ago. I woke up, and in some realisation of truth remembered that I have NO IDEA who reads my blog. And there are some people that I do not trust with the only secret I have never told. I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. But, it's too hard to confess to. JUST LISTEN.
I wanna give everyone a hug. – small and on a search
That's the kind of person I am. I hug so much that people are sick of it now (i.e. me hugging Amy in drama). I hug people and they turn away. They don't listen, they don't understand that every hug is worth something to me. I wish everyone would feel that.
My Mind is affected by overpopulation. – JustAFaceInTheCrowd
And all the people in my head think I'm crazy. And there's a lot of them. And they're LOUD. And sometimes I need them to shut up so I can concentrate. (Maybe that's what people feel like around me). But every now and thn they say "well done" or "you did the right thing" and sometimes when everyone else tells me what a bad person I am, and how much I've screwed up, it's nice to have just a few voices tell you that things aren't so bad.
Someday we'll all have perfect wings – voices.faded
And we will all fly. And we will have finally made it. Someday, we will all join together, and we will be a beautiful force. Us and our truth and beauty wings. Will you fly with me? Are you strong enough to let go?
"RAPE!" is now considered a joke. – shhhme
That is something I will never be okay with. Sure, I make the joke too, and sure I laugh along. And I even joke back "It's not rape if you enjoy it". But there are parts in me cringing. They say, "Is that really true?" And maybe I'm too terrified to ask, too terrified of the answer, too terrified that I don't know what I want the answer to be. But remember that it is not a joke. Jokes are funny. On the inside too.
Tear soaked face. Nothing has changed. – justagirl
I haven't cried in 24 hours. Yes, that is totally a record. But I've run out of tears. And for a girl with an endless supply, that is a big thing. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's big. I thought it would never happen. But it did. And I'm stronger now. But not strong enough to cry.
I fell.
Story of my life. – imissyoumuch
I fall over things. I fall into ditches. I fall in love. I fall in hate. But I always fall.
And sometimes I jump, just for the fall. Because falling feels like flying. Until the BOOM.
Haha, my sis asked if the band are only Aussie and Kiwi, and my dad said yes. And I said "but taylor swift is performing". His reply? "Who's that?"
I swear, we are not related.
But we both started singing along to I Got You at the top of our lungs until Mum came in and told us off. :L.
Haha, my Dad and I are like that, there are things we totally disagree on (who wants to watch football? or listen to pink floyd? my dad, thats who) and there are things we totally agree on (his fave movie? music and lyrics. he also like the holiday and love actually.)
And he is awesome for being able to teach me trig with half a slice of bread. =)
(Just to piss Shailin off:
MENTIONING LANA!
BUT ALSO MENTIONING SHAILIN
50-50?)
Are you, by any chance, sad? – J600y
Ok, over the past 2 days, I have been in the weirdest mood. I still get pissed off really easily, and I keep eating junk food. I have not emotionally eaten that much... ever.
I have never written 60 memoirs. That is phenomenal. All of them were...weird. Like my mood.
I think I'm getting close to back to normal now.
I hope.
I. Feel. Everything. Get it now? – Silent_watcher
It takes a while to communicate that to some people. Not only do I feel everything, but I feel everything WORSE than you do. I feel everything you feel. And I feel everything you didn't know existed. I feel pain, I feel happiness, I feel deep hatred, I feel incredible love, I feel total clarity, and I feel mind-twirling confusion. But I feel it all, all the time.
looking up at the same moon.. – Harriet Taylor
This morning, at 7:15, I woke up (don't remind me that it's Saturday, I have a very strong body clock) and looked outside my window. She was there, smiling at me. She said "Good morning Ebony" and I said "It is now" She laughed at my very bad joke and I watched her. NOT in a stalker way (ok, maybe), but she is so beautiful. I just lay there, and watched her shine. Until it hurt to turn my head to see her because she was too far. And then I got up.
Smile. Laugh. Like makeup over scars. – i.am.aspen
I decided yesterday that I was going to tell you guys about my scars. About everything that happened to me, about everything I've never admitted to. About the reason why I lied to my blog, for the first time, a few days ago. I woke up, and in some realisation of truth remembered that I have NO IDEA who reads my blog. And there are some people that I do not trust with the only secret I have never told. I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. But, it's too hard to confess to. JUST LISTEN.
I wanna give everyone a hug. – small and on a search
That's the kind of person I am. I hug so much that people are sick of it now (i.e. me hugging Amy in drama). I hug people and they turn away. They don't listen, they don't understand that every hug is worth something to me. I wish everyone would feel that.
My Mind is affected by overpopulation. – JustAFaceInTheCrowd
And all the people in my head think I'm crazy. And there's a lot of them. And they're LOUD. And sometimes I need them to shut up so I can concentrate. (Maybe that's what people feel like around me). But every now and thn they say "well done" or "you did the right thing" and sometimes when everyone else tells me what a bad person I am, and how much I've screwed up, it's nice to have just a few voices tell you that things aren't so bad.
Someday we'll all have perfect wings – voices.faded
And we will all fly. And we will have finally made it. Someday, we will all join together, and we will be a beautiful force. Us and our truth and beauty wings. Will you fly with me? Are you strong enough to let go?
"RAPE!" is now considered a joke. – shhhme
That is something I will never be okay with. Sure, I make the joke too, and sure I laugh along. And I even joke back "It's not rape if you enjoy it". But there are parts in me cringing. They say, "Is that really true?" And maybe I'm too terrified to ask, too terrified of the answer, too terrified that I don't know what I want the answer to be. But remember that it is not a joke. Jokes are funny. On the inside too.
Tear soaked face. Nothing has changed. – justagirl
I haven't cried in 24 hours. Yes, that is totally a record. But I've run out of tears. And for a girl with an endless supply, that is a big thing. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's big. I thought it would never happen. But it did. And I'm stronger now. But not strong enough to cry.
I fell.
Story of my life. – imissyoumuch
I fall over things. I fall into ditches. I fall in love. I fall in hate. But I always fall.
And sometimes I jump, just for the fall. Because falling feels like flying. Until the BOOM.
Friday, 13 March 2009
Finally letting people see my soul
I have suddenly realised how busy I will be shortly.
Here is next week in the life of Ebony.
Monday - Hand in Maths book for collection. Do ENTIRE IPT assignment IF Payne fixes the stupid database that he screwed up. IPT after school. Drama after school.
Tuesday - Creating connections. Perfect dance for PE - even though Corinne won't be there. Pack for yr 7 camp when I get home. Watch NCIS (it's important!)
Wednesday - Be at school by 7:45am. no I am not kidding. go to camp.
Thursday - at camp. stupid stupid yr 7.
Friday - come home. SLEEP
Saturday - wake up early. drive to canberra. go to family friend's wedding. drive home from canberra. hopefully get home before midnight.
Sunday - working 9 hours :'(. and i have to close. and sunday closes are HARD cuz u have to balance it. :( get home by about 10:30. still sleep deprived from camp.
And THEN i have infamous tuesday. with 4 assignments due.
FAR OUT!
I don't like year 10. CAN YOU IMAGINE YEAR 11??? AND 12???!!!!!
So I should probably go do Geo reasearch action plan.
HOWEVER, I do not like homework.
Therefore, I shall blog.
Excellent logic, don't you think?
Remind me, how have I EVER gotten assignments in on time?
Anyhoodle.
You all know how very much I love 6 word memoirs. But it is not just because they are cool. But because it has introduced me to some very beautiful people.
Some words from Cheru Carnage:
Sticks and stones can break my bones,
but words will never hurt me.
And if I tell that lie enough than maybe you won't see.
Mother dearest always said not to stray far from home.
I never pondered the notion of their voices in my head.
Never saw the needle piercing from underneath my bed.
You cannot heal the wounds,
Not with you swift lick,
I'm sorrys and regrets don't make the farces stick.
Sticks and stones might break my bones
Those words will truly hurt me.
And when I'm standing on a cliff
You will soon desert me..
Isn't that a beautiful poem?
She wrote it ages ago.
MENTIONING LANA
Number 4! Haha, PLEASE tell me you're still reading!
I looove you Lana.
Because your smartness rubbed off on me!!
And my loudness rubbed off on you!!
And today YOU got in trouble for talking in class you naughty girl :L.
(Yes Shailin, it's your influence, too)
Anyways, I LOVE YOU LANA!
You are le awesome.
And THANKYOU for visiting me at work
(You're still the only one :L)
(Oh the joys of looking for mushrooms)
Haha, you're shorter without school shoes on. =)
Ok, that's enough about you
This dance is getting old. Always playing around what neither of us will say. Always getting close, then backing away, before we accidentally say it. Taunting each other with words, with thoughts, with secrets. Scared that if we get too close, one of us will run. So we keep it light, we continue to dance. Always the prospect that one of us will slip, that one of us will leave, that one of us will go too far. And that's what keeps us dancing.
We twirl around in each others arm, and spin in circles laughing. We slow dance together, and we're there for each other. We hold hands and run around. We make trains of hugs, and our faces light our when we see each other. We poke each other, and giggle together. And when poke each other's waist, we instantly fall into each other's arms. It feels so comfortable, so natural that neither of us wants to move. And sometimes we just stay there, to feel each other's warmth, to feel wanted, to feel loved.
But YOU ARE THE WRONG PERSON.
And you feel the same way about me.
I am soo megapissed today. I swear, people say things that usually don't bug me, and I totally raged. And sometimes, well, sometimes I was very hypocritical. I expected people to be able to read my mind, and do what I wanted without me even telling them. And that's not very fair of me, and I get pissed at my mum all the time for it, but that's the kind of mood I was in. I have decided to blame it on PMS and hope I am much nicer very soon :L.
I know you know it makes me feel good about myself. I know you're only doing it to make me smile. But it does! And thankyou so much for that. I used to think we were fabulous friends. I don't think that anymore. I think we are people that use each toehr. You use me to get to her, I use you to feel like I am a good person. At the end of the day we're both happy. And you're manipulative. But so am I, so I forgive you. Maybe we COULD be fabulous friends. But we'd have to sotp using each other, and at the moment, this is working out well.
I don't think any of those people I blogged about read this, even though I have mentioned my blog to all of them. Oh wells, my mum just got home, which mean I should leave before she kills me, besides, Star Trek is starting soon, and I have a lot of chocolate to consume between now and then.
I'll see you under the moon.
Song.Song.Song. Haha, perfect!
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and theyre all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens every day
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted blac
kMaybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
Its not easy facin up when your whole world is black
No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the settin sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin comes
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah!
Here is next week in the life of Ebony.
Monday - Hand in Maths book for collection. Do ENTIRE IPT assignment IF Payne fixes the stupid database that he screwed up. IPT after school. Drama after school.
Tuesday - Creating connections. Perfect dance for PE - even though Corinne won't be there. Pack for yr 7 camp when I get home. Watch NCIS (it's important!)
Wednesday - Be at school by 7:45am. no I am not kidding. go to camp.
Thursday - at camp. stupid stupid yr 7.
Friday - come home. SLEEP
Saturday - wake up early. drive to canberra. go to family friend's wedding. drive home from canberra. hopefully get home before midnight.
Sunday - working 9 hours :'(. and i have to close. and sunday closes are HARD cuz u have to balance it. :( get home by about 10:30. still sleep deprived from camp.
And THEN i have infamous tuesday. with 4 assignments due.
FAR OUT!
I don't like year 10. CAN YOU IMAGINE YEAR 11??? AND 12???!!!!!
So I should probably go do Geo reasearch action plan.
HOWEVER, I do not like homework.
Therefore, I shall blog.
Excellent logic, don't you think?
Remind me, how have I EVER gotten assignments in on time?
Anyhoodle.
-------
You all know how very much I love 6 word memoirs. But it is not just because they are cool. But because it has introduced me to some very beautiful people.
Some words from Cheru Carnage:
Sticks and stones can break my bones,
but words will never hurt me.
And if I tell that lie enough than maybe you won't see.
Mother dearest always said not to stray far from home.
I never pondered the notion of their voices in my head.
Never saw the needle piercing from underneath my bed.
You cannot heal the wounds,
Not with you swift lick,
I'm sorrys and regrets don't make the farces stick.
Sticks and stones might break my bones
Those words will truly hurt me.
And when I'm standing on a cliff
You will soon desert me..
Isn't that a beautiful poem?
She wrote it ages ago.
-------
MENTIONING LANA
Number 4! Haha, PLEASE tell me you're still reading!
I looove you Lana.
Because your smartness rubbed off on me!!
And my loudness rubbed off on you!!
And today YOU got in trouble for talking in class you naughty girl :L.
(Yes Shailin, it's your influence, too)
Anyways, I LOVE YOU LANA!
You are le awesome.
And THANKYOU for visiting me at work
(You're still the only one :L)
(Oh the joys of looking for mushrooms)
Haha, you're shorter without school shoes on. =)
Ok, that's enough about you
-------
This dance is getting old. Always playing around what neither of us will say. Always getting close, then backing away, before we accidentally say it. Taunting each other with words, with thoughts, with secrets. Scared that if we get too close, one of us will run. So we keep it light, we continue to dance. Always the prospect that one of us will slip, that one of us will leave, that one of us will go too far. And that's what keeps us dancing.
-------
We twirl around in each others arm, and spin in circles laughing. We slow dance together, and we're there for each other. We hold hands and run around. We make trains of hugs, and our faces light our when we see each other. We poke each other, and giggle together. And when poke each other's waist, we instantly fall into each other's arms. It feels so comfortable, so natural that neither of us wants to move. And sometimes we just stay there, to feel each other's warmth, to feel wanted, to feel loved.
But YOU ARE THE WRONG PERSON.
And you feel the same way about me.
-------
I am soo megapissed today. I swear, people say things that usually don't bug me, and I totally raged. And sometimes, well, sometimes I was very hypocritical. I expected people to be able to read my mind, and do what I wanted without me even telling them. And that's not very fair of me, and I get pissed at my mum all the time for it, but that's the kind of mood I was in. I have decided to blame it on PMS and hope I am much nicer very soon :L.
-------
I know you know it makes me feel good about myself. I know you're only doing it to make me smile. But it does! And thankyou so much for that. I used to think we were fabulous friends. I don't think that anymore. I think we are people that use each toehr. You use me to get to her, I use you to feel like I am a good person. At the end of the day we're both happy. And you're manipulative. But so am I, so I forgive you. Maybe we COULD be fabulous friends. But we'd have to sotp using each other, and at the moment, this is working out well.
-------
I don't think any of those people I blogged about read this, even though I have mentioned my blog to all of them. Oh wells, my mum just got home, which mean I should leave before she kills me, besides, Star Trek is starting soon, and I have a lot of chocolate to consume between now and then.
I'll see you under the moon.
-------
Song.Song.Song. Haha, perfect!
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and theyre all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens every day
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted blac
kMaybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
Its not easy facin up when your whole world is black
No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you
If I look hard enough into the settin sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin comes
I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
Hmm, hmm, hmm,...I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah!
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
No longer a fan of google.
One – I wish you’d stop lying to me. Seriously, if you don’t mean it, don’t say it, then you won’t have to take it back
Two – Today, I realised how natural we are (sure I figured it out months ago, but it was reiterated today). Thankyou for your beautiful warm hug =)
Three – I realised that I don’t have a problem trusting people, it’s just that sometimes I think they don’t want to hear what I have to say. Blogging, therefore is the perfection solution. I can tell you everything.
Four – No one noticed I was acting any different. I talk to you how I talk to everyone else. They didn’t even recognise it was you. It was normal. Finally.
---------------------------------
I am currently very emotional.
Which I find funny.
But I like laughing at myself, so it’s all good. (Puts up thumbs like Shailin) (Up Down Up Down Up Down)
Hmmm, looking for something to say…
I can’t think of anything.
Haha, me and my sister just sang Day dream believer at the top of our lungs. =) Gotta love being home alone.
This morning it was Our song. And that was straight after I blogged it, I swear, she’s in my head!!
Nikki: “We spent too much time together, we always…”
Me: “…say the same thing at the same time…”
Together: “…and finish each other’s sentences”
--------------------------------
Gah, I am going to be very busy over the next few weeks.
This is everything happening on the 24th of March.
Sometime:
Talent quest
Period 2:
Creating connections
Geography in class assignment
Periods 5:
P.E. dance in hall
Drama assignment due
Period 6:
P.E. dance in hall
IPT assignment due
See how it doesn’t all fit??
Oh, and next Wednesday/Thursday I won’t be blogging. Are you disappointed? Year 7 camp here I come!!
And I don’t even wanna go, I have too much stuff to do.
Lizzie: “Are you feeling okay?”
Hehe, probably not.
But I don't even like my stupid creating connections group. =(
--------------------------------
You know what annoys me? (other than ebony + ivory jokes, people that are mean and bad tv spinoffs)
When people tell me I look like people I don't look like.
(Yes Amy, I'm looking at you)
SERIOUSLY!
1. Mr Baxter - I mean, he looks like Tom Cruise, so it's a compliment, but I don't look like him!! Just cuz I'm white!!
2. Dominic (yr 7 dude) - some random year 7er said I look like him, and the Julia comes up and says "Is that your brother?"
3. Jarryd - Ok, yes, Jarryd is awesome. And yes, it feels weird to say year 9 buddy. But people say I look like him, (mainly Sandie) apparently we have the same mouth :S.
Sorry, but it seriously pisses me off.
(Not as much as Ebony + Ivory jokes, people that are mean and bad TV spinoffs)
(NCIS being one of the GOOD TV spinoffs)
-----------------------------
Speaking of NCIS, (go with it) I missed it last night!!! I didn't get home until 9:24, so I only saw the last 8 minutes. And Tuesday are the new episodes!!
And they played an episode on, like, saturday or sunday night, and it was season 2!! Why can't they play season 4??? Stupid channel 10. Season 6 repeats? Sure. Season 4? Never!
Haha, I'm so stupid about TV. I mean, seriously, NCIS? It's not all that good. (Shoot me later) But I still watch it EVERYTIME it's on. And like, House. Hello? Phobia of needles!! But I LOVE House.
--------------------------------
MENTIONING ROSA!!!
Rosa is cool like sliced bread. (H)
She is the friend (stalker) of everyone in our grade.
She made us all a rose for V Day (well, the girls anyway)
She was my very first blog fan.
Meaning that she actually commented when no one else was bothered.
She currently has too many (14) followers. this is unfair. i have 7.
(last week i had 5, this is a big step up)
(Rosa is one of my new ones)
Her blog is le awesome. The video on her post today made me cry (shut up)
Now Rosa should mention me too, yes?
MENTIONING LANA!!!
Lana is smart like... sliced bread. 8-
She is the nerd of our grade
She tops, like EVERY subject. Crazy little girl.
Mr Anault: "Have you ever met someone who is scary smart?"
Michelle: "Like Lana?"
She hasn't read my blog since January... except at lunch the other day, which totally doesn't count.
The only reason she read it is cuz she was mentioned, so if she has survived the boringness of the rest of the blog, she should be happy that she has got this far (now go and read everything you skipped)
Now she should read my blog, yes?
---------------------------------------
Happy moments of my past week:
1. Running down the street trying to catch a Santa. All the Holsworthy High people staring at me, thinking I'm insane. Then catching it, making a wish, and skipping away. =)
2. Jumping up and down like a retard with Lucy today singing Our Song. Forgetting the words, and making them up. :L
3. Spinning in regional dance, and then falling over from being dizzy. Then everyone else falls over too.
4. Tansy being my man, and us posing like the cover of Twilight :L. Dancing with Tansy as well. She is cool.
5. Our group being able to fall back into our style. We're cool like that.
6. Me: "Did you see the full moon last night?"
Other person: "Yeah, wasn't it pretty?"
Me: *thinking: you wish it was your moon* "Did you howl?"
Other person: *gives crazy look*
Except for Barbara!!! Who said "Oh, so you heard me?"
------------------------------
Too long now, huh?
But mum is at work, so I am enjoying my freedom.
Picture this:
No one looking over your shoulder
No one asking what you're doing every 5 minutes
No one saying "have you done your homework yet?"
or "I think you've been on long enough now"
Or "Who are you talking to?"
It is such beautiful freedom. She doesn't get home until 9:30!!! And she whinges about late hours...
--------------------------------------
“That is the second time I’ve dropped my pen. I’m getting really pissed now!! And I mean that in the drunk way”
So, my sister told me to never blog about her again, but, I couldn't resist.
Oh. My. Gosh.
My sister wants to find my blog. She is going to google me.
That means she WILL find it.
Seriously, it is like, the first thing.
But she says she'll save it for another day, because I practically got on my knees and begged her not to. :S
--------------------------------
Im not looking for someone to talk to
Ive got my friends, Im more than ok
Ive got more than a girl could wish for
I live my dreams but its not all they say
Still I believe Im missing something real
I need someone who really sees me
Chorus:
Dont wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing youll walk through my door
All I need is to know its for sure
Then Ill give all the love in the world
Ive often wondered if loves an illusion
Just to get you through the loneliest days
I cant criticize it - I have no hesitation
My imagination just stole me away
Still I believe
Im missing something real
I need someone who really sees me
Chorus
Loves for a lifetime not for a moment
So how could I throw it away
Yeah Im only human
And nights grow colder
With no-one to love me that way
Yeah I need someone who really sees me
And I wont wake up alone anymore
Still believing youll walk through my door
Youll reach for me and Ill know its for sure
Then Ill give all the love in the world
(dont wanna wake up alone
still believing youll walk through my door
dont wanna wake up alone anymore)
Two – Today, I realised how natural we are (sure I figured it out months ago, but it was reiterated today). Thankyou for your beautiful warm hug =)
Three – I realised that I don’t have a problem trusting people, it’s just that sometimes I think they don’t want to hear what I have to say. Blogging, therefore is the perfection solution. I can tell you everything.
Four – No one noticed I was acting any different. I talk to you how I talk to everyone else. They didn’t even recognise it was you. It was normal. Finally.
---------------------------------
I am currently very emotional.
Which I find funny.
But I like laughing at myself, so it’s all good. (Puts up thumbs like Shailin) (Up Down Up Down Up Down)
Hmmm, looking for something to say…
I can’t think of anything.
Haha, me and my sister just sang Day dream believer at the top of our lungs. =) Gotta love being home alone.
This morning it was Our song. And that was straight after I blogged it, I swear, she’s in my head!!
Nikki: “We spent too much time together, we always…”
Me: “…say the same thing at the same time…”
Together: “…and finish each other’s sentences”
--------------------------------
Gah, I am going to be very busy over the next few weeks.
This is everything happening on the 24th of March.
Sometime:
Talent quest
Period 2:
Creating connections
Geography in class assignment
Periods 5:
P.E. dance in hall
Drama assignment due
Period 6:
P.E. dance in hall
IPT assignment due
See how it doesn’t all fit??
Oh, and next Wednesday/Thursday I won’t be blogging. Are you disappointed? Year 7 camp here I come!!
And I don’t even wanna go, I have too much stuff to do.
Lizzie: “Are you feeling okay?”
Hehe, probably not.
But I don't even like my stupid creating connections group. =(
--------------------------------
You know what annoys me? (other than ebony + ivory jokes, people that are mean and bad tv spinoffs)
When people tell me I look like people I don't look like.
(Yes Amy, I'm looking at you)
SERIOUSLY!
1. Mr Baxter - I mean, he looks like Tom Cruise, so it's a compliment, but I don't look like him!! Just cuz I'm white!!
2. Dominic (yr 7 dude) - some random year 7er said I look like him, and the Julia comes up and says "Is that your brother?"
3. Jarryd - Ok, yes, Jarryd is awesome. And yes, it feels weird to say year 9 buddy. But people say I look like him, (mainly Sandie) apparently we have the same mouth :S.
Sorry, but it seriously pisses me off.
(Not as much as Ebony + Ivory jokes, people that are mean and bad TV spinoffs)
(NCIS being one of the GOOD TV spinoffs)
-----------------------------
Speaking of NCIS, (go with it) I missed it last night!!! I didn't get home until 9:24, so I only saw the last 8 minutes. And Tuesday are the new episodes!!
And they played an episode on, like, saturday or sunday night, and it was season 2!! Why can't they play season 4??? Stupid channel 10. Season 6 repeats? Sure. Season 4? Never!
Haha, I'm so stupid about TV. I mean, seriously, NCIS? It's not all that good. (Shoot me later) But I still watch it EVERYTIME it's on. And like, House. Hello? Phobia of needles!! But I LOVE House.
--------------------------------
MENTIONING ROSA!!!
Rosa is cool like sliced bread. (H)
She is the friend (stalker) of everyone in our grade.
She made us all a rose for V Day (well, the girls anyway)
She was my very first blog fan.
Meaning that she actually commented when no one else was bothered.
She currently has too many (14) followers. this is unfair. i have 7.
(last week i had 5, this is a big step up)
(Rosa is one of my new ones)
Her blog is le awesome. The video on her post today made me cry (shut up)
Now Rosa should mention me too, yes?
MENTIONING LANA!!!
Lana is smart like... sliced bread. 8-
She is the nerd of our grade
She tops, like EVERY subject. Crazy little girl.
Mr Anault: "Have you ever met someone who is scary smart?"
Michelle: "Like Lana?"
She hasn't read my blog since January... except at lunch the other day, which totally doesn't count.
The only reason she read it is cuz she was mentioned, so if she has survived the boringness of the rest of the blog, she should be happy that she has got this far (now go and read everything you skipped)
Now she should read my blog, yes?
---------------------------------------
Happy moments of my past week:
1. Running down the street trying to catch a Santa. All the Holsworthy High people staring at me, thinking I'm insane. Then catching it, making a wish, and skipping away. =)
2. Jumping up and down like a retard with Lucy today singing Our Song. Forgetting the words, and making them up. :L
3. Spinning in regional dance, and then falling over from being dizzy. Then everyone else falls over too.
4. Tansy being my man, and us posing like the cover of Twilight :L. Dancing with Tansy as well. She is cool.
5. Our group being able to fall back into our style. We're cool like that.
6. Me: "Did you see the full moon last night?"
Other person: "Yeah, wasn't it pretty?"
Me: *thinking: you wish it was your moon* "Did you howl?"
Other person: *gives crazy look*
Except for Barbara!!! Who said "Oh, so you heard me?"
------------------------------
Too long now, huh?
But mum is at work, so I am enjoying my freedom.
Picture this:
No one looking over your shoulder
No one asking what you're doing every 5 minutes
No one saying "have you done your homework yet?"
or "I think you've been on long enough now"
Or "Who are you talking to?"
It is such beautiful freedom. She doesn't get home until 9:30!!! And she whinges about late hours...
--------------------------------------
“That is the second time I’ve dropped my pen. I’m getting really pissed now!! And I mean that in the drunk way”
So, my sister told me to never blog about her again, but, I couldn't resist.
Oh. My. Gosh.
My sister wants to find my blog. She is going to google me.
That means she WILL find it.
Seriously, it is like, the first thing.
But she says she'll save it for another day, because I practically got on my knees and begged her not to. :S
--------------------------------
Im not looking for someone to talk to
Ive got my friends, Im more than ok
Ive got more than a girl could wish for
I live my dreams but its not all they say
Still I believe Im missing something real
I need someone who really sees me
Chorus:
Dont wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing youll walk through my door
All I need is to know its for sure
Then Ill give all the love in the world
Ive often wondered if loves an illusion
Just to get you through the loneliest days
I cant criticize it - I have no hesitation
My imagination just stole me away
Still I believe
Im missing something real
I need someone who really sees me
Chorus
Loves for a lifetime not for a moment
So how could I throw it away
Yeah Im only human
And nights grow colder
With no-one to love me that way
Yeah I need someone who really sees me
And I wont wake up alone anymore
Still believing youll walk through my door
Youll reach for me and Ill know its for sure
Then Ill give all the love in the world
(dont wanna wake up alone
still believing youll walk through my door
dont wanna wake up alone anymore)
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
Everything in moderation
Friendless life is a colorless rainbow. – MrsArchuleta101
I am giving Corinne a tad more incentive to actually bother reading my blog from time to time by mentioning her in today's post. (Do you feel famous?)
Today, my awesome Corinne went to the Hume Zone Swimming Carnival, and raced 3 times! She came last, second last, and first!! Yay for Corinne.
She is spending a total of 2 days at school this week, because she, unlike the rest of the world, actually has a life. Le sigh.
--------
I miss the person I was. – jenibo
I miss being little.
Haha, I don't know why I thought of that.
But seriously, I miss it soo much.
I miss playing in the sand pit with my sister when we were little. And taking turns to fill up a bucket with water, so we could wet the sand, and make it stick together.
I remember the day we sold our sandpit on ebay.
I miss playing on the swingset with my sister and neighbour. And all our family friends would come over, and we'd take turns. I remember going higher and higher, over the top bar. And feeling so proud of ourselves.
I remember when we gave the swingset away.
---------
my computer is my best friend. – lemonsherry
These are all about different people. See if you can figure it out =)
And I know it didn't seem like a rather large gesture, but I want you to know that I meant every word of it.
We're getting on each other's nerves. We've been getting on each other's nerves for a year now. You tell me how bad you are, and I tell you how good you are. One day I'm gonna agree with you, and you're gonna have to put up with it.
Oh. My. Gosh. THANKYOU!! FINALLY someone actually understands me and the twisted way I think and feel. You knew I'd understand, and that's what means the most to me. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts with me.
Because when I get seriously upset about something miniscule and stupid in my life, I always know where I can turn to and find a way to smile. Thankyou for making me feel wonderful.
I worry about you. Which is probably undeserving because you could hardly care less about me.
Thankyou for caring. Because, actually, I wasn't okay, I was far from okay, but it means so much to me that you asked.
I hate it when you do things like that. What I hate more is that I'll forgive you. You'll smile, and suddenly I'll forgive you for everything. Even though you don't deserve it.
We don't talk all that much, but I feel like you get me more than most other people I talk to everyday.
I'm trying. Well, actually, I'm not trying that hard... but what you asked for is a big deal to me, and I can't do big things without thinking about them. A lot. I'm sitll thinking.
------
Let's run away. Just one day. – MirrukuChii
I know most of you don't know this song. That is because you are all musically challenged. This is the world's best song. It has been my favourite song for as long as I can remember (knowing my memory, that could just be a week).
Say it's true,
there's nothing like me and you
I'm not alone,
tell me you feel it too
And I would run away
I would run away, yeah..., yeah
I would run away
I would run away with you
Cause I am falling in love with you
No never I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you
Close the door,
lay down upon the floor
And by candlelight,
make love to me through the night
Cause I have run away
I have run away, yeah..., yeah
I have run away, run away
I have run away with you
Cause I am falling in love with you
No never I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you...
With you...
And I would runaway
I would runaway, yeah..., yeah
I would runaway (runaway)
I would runaway with you
Cause I am falling in love with you
No never I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you...
Falling in love with you
No never I'm never gonna stop falling in love with you
With you, my love, with you...
na ni na ni na na...
With you, with you, with you, with you
--------
Condensing my thoughts into six words. – coulda.been.a.comet
Here is how comet got her name:
“I could have been a comet, streaking across the cosmos.
Bumping into others just to say, "Hello, I'm a comet too, you know."
I could have been a comet, always on the move,
or coming home.
What say you, my friends on Earth,
Will you have me? If I don't cause too much of a stir?
I could have been a comet,
but instead I am a girl.
Not half as interesting, or beautiful.
But, in some ways, I'll forever be a comet.”
I am giving Corinne a tad more incentive to actually bother reading my blog from time to time by mentioning her in today's post. (Do you feel famous?)
Today, my awesome Corinne went to the Hume Zone Swimming Carnival, and raced 3 times! She came last, second last, and first!! Yay for Corinne.
She is spending a total of 2 days at school this week, because she, unlike the rest of the world, actually has a life. Le sigh.
--------
I miss the person I was. – jenibo
I miss being little.
Haha, I don't know why I thought of that.
But seriously, I miss it soo much.
I miss playing in the sand pit with my sister when we were little. And taking turns to fill up a bucket with water, so we could wet the sand, and make it stick together.
I remember the day we sold our sandpit on ebay.
I miss playing on the swingset with my sister and neighbour. And all our family friends would come over, and we'd take turns. I remember going higher and higher, over the top bar. And feeling so proud of ourselves.
I remember when we gave the swingset away.
---------
my computer is my best friend. – lemonsherry
These are all about different people. See if you can figure it out =)
And I know it didn't seem like a rather large gesture, but I want you to know that I meant every word of it.
We're getting on each other's nerves. We've been getting on each other's nerves for a year now. You tell me how bad you are, and I tell you how good you are. One day I'm gonna agree with you, and you're gonna have to put up with it.
Oh. My. Gosh. THANKYOU!! FINALLY someone actually understands me and the twisted way I think and feel. You knew I'd understand, and that's what means the most to me. Thankyou for sharing your thoughts with me.
Because when I get seriously upset about something miniscule and stupid in my life, I always know where I can turn to and find a way to smile. Thankyou for making me feel wonderful.
I worry about you. Which is probably undeserving because you could hardly care less about me.
Thankyou for caring. Because, actually, I wasn't okay, I was far from okay, but it means so much to me that you asked.
I hate it when you do things like that. What I hate more is that I'll forgive you. You'll smile, and suddenly I'll forgive you for everything. Even though you don't deserve it.
We don't talk all that much, but I feel like you get me more than most other people I talk to everyday.
I'm trying. Well, actually, I'm not trying that hard... but what you asked for is a big deal to me, and I can't do big things without thinking about them. A lot. I'm sitll thinking.
------
Let's run away. Just one day. – MirrukuChii
I know most of you don't know this song. That is because you are all musically challenged. This is the world's best song. It has been my favourite song for as long as I can remember (knowing my memory, that could just be a week).
Say it's true,
there's nothing like me and you
I'm not alone,
tell me you feel it too
And I would run away
I would run away, yeah..., yeah
I would run away
I would run away with you
Cause I am falling in love with you
No never I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you
Close the door,
lay down upon the floor
And by candlelight,
make love to me through the night
Cause I have run away
I have run away, yeah..., yeah
I have run away, run away
I have run away with you
Cause I am falling in love with you
No never I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you...
With you...
And I would runaway
I would runaway, yeah..., yeah
I would runaway (runaway)
I would runaway with you
Cause I am falling in love with you
No never I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you...
Falling in love with you
No never I'm never gonna stop falling in love with you
With you, my love, with you...
na ni na ni na na...
With you, with you, with you, with you
--------
Condensing my thoughts into six words. – coulda.been.a.comet
Here is how comet got her name:
“I could have been a comet, streaking across the cosmos.
Bumping into others just to say, "Hello, I'm a comet too, you know."
I could have been a comet, always on the move,
or coming home.
What say you, my friends on Earth,
Will you have me? If I don't cause too much of a stir?
I could have been a comet,
but instead I am a girl.
Not half as interesting, or beautiful.
But, in some ways, I'll forever be a comet.”
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