Happy Today!

It's finally here.
2010.
It's so... big, and scary.
And I think, something's meant to be different.
But it doesn't feel any different.
I'm just as scared and confused about everything.
And a list of stupid resolutions aren't going to change anything.
And I've already broken the nailbiting one. At about 1 o'clock this morning.

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And... I miss my family.
No one's ever around. Between work, and visiting my grandfather, and making plans... we just don't see each other. And now whenever we do see each other, we all tell each other off. (Although I did lose $75)
I think I'll enjoy our holiday in a few days.
Simply because there will be no distractions, we'll get to be us. The whole time.
...that will be nice.

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I told you I was scared. And you comforted me. You told me I didn't have to be scared. You told me that sometimes I should just give in, and do what I want. But that's even scarier. And this is something that has been scaring and confusing me since we started joking about your birthday. And I haven't told you, but I feel like if I don't give in, I'll disappoint you too much. And I always disappoint you. And I'm sick of it. And I wish I could make you happy without everyone in the world thinking differently of me. And usually, I can. But sometimes...

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I avoid some people on purpose
I’ve thought about cheating (but you brought it up)
I hate the way I look most of the time
I actually like the way I look most of the time
I’ve been swimming in an ocean
I’ve been swimming in a lake
I have a sibling
I have pets
I’ve been on vacation recently
I love meeting new people
I am insanely shy
I’m on a sports team
My best friend is a boy (one of)
I play music
I don’t remember the last time I mailed a letter
I talk on the phone almost every night
I drink milk almost every day
I’ve kissed someone in a bathroom
I’ve kissed someone in bed
I’ve kissed someone at school
I’ve kissed someone I just met
I’ve kissed a good friend
I like to read
I like to watch tv
I couldn’t care less about video games
I hate my mom and dad
I’ve had a crush on someone for 5+ years
I’ve never asked someone out
I can touch my nose with my tongue
I love pizza
I actually love going grocery shopping
I love to travel
I’ve been to another continent
I wish I had time to watch more movies (I wish I had a better time budget)
I miss being a little kid
I’ve been to a public pool recently
Summer is my favorite time of the year
Winter is my favorite time of the year
I have a favorite holiday
I have a favorite holiday other than Christmas
I’ve been to a concert recently this year (not much has happened this year :L)
I drive
I have my own car
My room is almost always messy
I’m listening to music right now
Music helps me work
The last person I texted was a boy
I want a new phone really bad
I love cartoons family guy.
The last thing I drank was water
I used to play with barbies
I collect something (paychecks and movie tickets, and the things you get in christmas crackers)
I’ve been to a carnival recently
I know what syncopation is
I need to charge my phone
I have a huge crush on someone right now
I’ve kissed someone within the last 24 hours
I’m still in my pyjamas
I have to go to school tomorrow
I need to clean something
I’ve hurt myself on purpose
I’ve thrown up on purpose
I’ve broken a bone
I’ve eaten something weird
I’m an extremely picky eater
I’ve been out to eat recently
I love going to the mall
I hate big groups
I remember the last party I went to (i guess last night sorta counta)
I’m on the phone right now
I’m watching tv right now
I’m eating right now
I’m on the phone, watching tv, and eating right now
People say I’m funny
People say I’m pretty (only you)
I’ve been told that I have gorgeous eyes
I need new clothes really badly
My hair is up right now
I need to shave my legs
I remember the last time I went to the doctor
I actually use my locker at school (its always full of year before stuff though :L)
I get good grades
I have a MySpace
I showered last night
I spy with my little eye something that is green
I spy with my little eye something that is round
I spy with my little eye something that is broken
I’ve had surgery
Someone I know has died
Someone I know has had cancer (no one told me he had cancer until he passed away 2 weeks ago)
It’s past my bedtime
I’ve moved before
I’ve moved 4+ times
I’ve gotten something removed
People tell me that I have good hair
People tell me that they like my clothes
I wish I had some money right now
I have a job (one shift in 3 weeks is NOTAJOB)
I need a job
I actually got a stupid class ring
I’m listening to someone talking right now
I wish I could talk to the boy I like right now
I’ve kissed someone in front of my parents
I’ve kissed someone on New Year’s (haha)
I love Halloween
I remember the last time I tripped (yesterday)
I can see a picture of me from where I’m sitting
I can see my reflection from where I’m sitting
I’m kinda scared of the dark
It’s hard to sleep with the door open
It’s hard to sleep without a blanket
It’s morning
I played soccer when I was little
I played basketball when I was little
My ears are pierced
My belly button is pierced
I plan on going to college
I plan on getting married
I plan on having some kids
I babysit
I still get an allowance
I curse a lot
I got so drunk last night (everyone else did :L)
I’ve been to a wedding recently
I’ve met someone special on vacation (special only because i wrote part of my story about them)
I have an accent
I know someone who has been homeschooled
I know someone in a band
I can sing really well (i can singstar :L)
I can dance really well
I suck at math
I’ve never slow danced with anyone
I suck at spelling
I recycle
I am pro-choice
I know some rednecks
I want to get a tattoo
I want to get a new piercing
I hate MTV and VH1
I miss an ex
I still love an ex
I’ve slapped someone
I’ve punched someone
I’ve been told that I have a nice butt
I think my boobs are too small
I wish I could lose some weight
I can play the guitar
I can speak another language
I am fluent in another language
I can play the piano
I’ve been told that I can’t dance
I’m a cheerleader
I have a sweet tattoo
I have a sweet facial piercing
I need to practice something
I want to go to Mexico
I want to go to Canada
I’ve traveled across the country
I live on the east coast
I went to the beach last summer
I remember the last time I was insanely sunburned
I like to waste time
I like to sleep
I think I’m going to get asked out soon
I keep a journal
I don’t remember the last dream I had
My first kiss kinda sucked
I think smoking cigarettes is gross
I’m wearing something that belongs to someone else
My mom fixed the last meal I had
I’ve never gotten my nails done
I should be doing homework right now
I’m adopted
I love sappy movies
I love horror movies
I love musicals
I’ve seen a broadway show
The last person I hugged was my mom
All of my grandparents are alive
I miss my boyfriend
I haven’t talked to my best friend all day
People tell me that I’m short
Sometimes my socks don’t match
I can’t wait till my birthday
I’m a procrastinator
I’m not like everyone else
I like strawberries
I like thunderstorms
Someone’s mad at me right now
I hate when people are rude
I’m an optimist
My first relationship ended badly
I love when boys hold doors open
I’ve kissed 2+ people in one day
I’ve had a boy sleep over at my house
I bite my nails
I’ve been caught doing drugs
I’ve been caught cheating
I haven’t been to Disneyland/Disneyworld
I’ve passed out from drinking
I get angry easily
I’m laid back
I hate most girls
I love getting new shoes
I hate Chinese food
I don’t remember the last time I was grounded
I’ve been in love before
I’ve been cheated on
There are certain songs that remind me of my ex
I gave someone their first kiss
I straighten my hair more often than I should
I’ve been to a funeral this year (this year is very small, but i did last year)
I am insanely hungry right now

Welcome to 2010!!