Harry Potter movies

Sometimes it's amazing how little it takes to make me happy.

Just one day of watching Harry Potter movies with you and talking about bad fan fic, eating chicken nuggets with too much sauce, as you cough up phlegm every five minutes. I want to watch movies with you when you're sick and take care of you for as long as you'll let me.

There are some memories we make that last for a long time and I hope that one of them is watch Harry Potter 5, for the first time ever, in your arms.

(You make me so happy that even the bad weather can't bring me down)

(If I ever wanted to cast a patronus, all I would have to do is think of you)

And then you say things like "Why is there a part of me that dies every time I finish a story?" and I just want to cuddle you forever and not let you lose any more of yourself.

But I'm happy, you know? I'm the happy I thought I'd lost.

Finding Me

To be honest, I don't want to put up with being treated like crap by you and I've decided I don't have to anymore just because I feel sorry for you. I feel like this is a repeating pattern for me where I feel guilty for my own happiness so I let people who aren't happy treat me like I am a bad person for being happy. But I'm not a bad person and I work hard to be happy and my happiness is a struggle and I don't have to feel guilty for it.

It's crazy, isn't it? Because it's not just friends, it's almost everyone in my life. I think I've just always been told that my opinion isn't as important as everyone else's and that I'm not right unless adults agree with and all that stuff isn't true. I want to have the freedom to be my own person. Everyone keeps telling me off for not doing things that other people enjoy even when I explain why I don't enjoy doing. I just want everyone to leave me alone.

I'm trying not to live for the future and to just enjoy my right now but if the next twelve months could go a little faster than usual I won't complain. I'm sure I'll miss uni once it's over but whilst I'm here, I'm  not particularly fond of it. At least at uni I can read books in class though... There are definitely some perks I'll miss.