Saturday, 14 March 2009

One day it will all finish.

As you read this, you are listening to Sound Relief either on the radio or on Channel V/MAX. And if you are not then SHAME ON YOU.
Haha, my sis asked if the band are only Aussie and Kiwi, and my dad said yes. And I said "but taylor swift is performing". His reply? "Who's that?"
I swear, we are not related.
But we both started singing along to I Got You at the top of our lungs until Mum came in and told us off. :L.
Haha, my Dad and I are like that, there are things we totally disagree on (who wants to watch football? or listen to pink floyd? my dad, thats who) and there are things we totally agree on (his fave movie? music and lyrics. he also like the holiday and love actually.)
And he is awesome for being able to teach me trig with half a slice of bread. =)

(Just to piss Shailin off:
MENTIONING LANA!
BUT ALSO MENTIONING SHAILIN
50-50?)

Are you, by any chance, sad? – J600y

Ok, over the past 2 days, I have been in the weirdest mood. I still get pissed off really easily, and I keep eating junk food. I have not emotionally eaten that much... ever.
I have never written 60 memoirs. That is phenomenal. All of them were...weird. Like my mood.
I think I'm getting close to back to normal now.
I hope.

I. Feel. Everything. Get it now? – Silent_watcher

It takes a while to communicate that to some people. Not only do I feel everything, but I feel everything WORSE than you do. I feel everything you feel. And I feel everything you didn't know existed. I feel pain, I feel happiness, I feel deep hatred, I feel incredible love, I feel total clarity, and I feel mind-twirling confusion. But I feel it all, all the time.

looking up at the same moon.. – Harriet Taylor

This morning, at 7:15, I woke up (don't remind me that it's Saturday, I have a very strong body clock) and looked outside my window. She was there, smiling at me. She said "Good morning Ebony" and I said "It is now" She laughed at my very bad joke and I watched her. NOT in a stalker way (ok, maybe), but she is so beautiful. I just lay there, and watched her shine. Until it hurt to turn my head to see her because she was too far. And then I got up.

Smile. Laugh. Like makeup over scars. – i.am.aspen

I decided yesterday that I was going to tell you guys about my scars. About everything that happened to me, about everything I've never admitted to. About the reason why I lied to my blog, for the first time, a few days ago. I woke up, and in some realisation of truth remembered that I have NO IDEA who reads my blog. And there are some people that I do not trust with the only secret I have never told. I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. But, it's too hard to confess to. JUST LISTEN.

I wanna give everyone a hug. – small and on a search

That's the kind of person I am. I hug so much that people are sick of it now (i.e. me hugging Amy in drama). I hug people and they turn away. They don't listen, they don't understand that every hug is worth something to me. I wish everyone would feel that.

My Mind is affected by overpopulation. – JustAFaceInTheCrowd

And all the people in my head think I'm crazy. And there's a lot of them. And they're LOUD. And sometimes I need them to shut up so I can concentrate. (Maybe that's what people feel like around me). But every now and thn they say "well done" or "you did the right thing" and sometimes when everyone else tells me what a bad person I am, and how much I've screwed up, it's nice to have just a few voices tell you that things aren't so bad.

Someday we'll all have perfect wings – voices.faded

And we will all fly. And we will have finally made it. Someday, we will all join together, and we will be a beautiful force. Us and our truth and beauty wings. Will you fly with me? Are you strong enough to let go?

"RAPE!" is now considered a joke. – shhhme

That is something I will never be okay with. Sure, I make the joke too, and sure I laugh along. And I even joke back "It's not rape if you enjoy it". But there are parts in me cringing. They say, "Is that really true?" And maybe I'm too terrified to ask, too terrified of the answer, too terrified that I don't know what I want the answer to be. But remember that it is not a joke. Jokes are funny. On the inside too.

Tear soaked face. Nothing has changed. – justagirl

I haven't cried in 24 hours. Yes, that is totally a record. But I've run out of tears. And for a girl with an endless supply, that is a big thing. I don't know if it's good or bad, but it's big. I thought it would never happen. But it did. And I'm stronger now. But not strong enough to cry.

I fell.
Story of my life. – imissyoumuch

I fall over things. I fall into ditches. I fall in love. I fall in hate. But I always fall.
And sometimes I jump, just for the fall. Because falling feels like flying. Until the BOOM.

9 comments:

H0LDUP; wait a minute. said...

SEVEN? AM? girl go to sleep.

Anonymous said...

lol is it still shame on me if it's over already?

"But we both started singing along to I Got You at the top of our lungs until Mum came in and told us off."

OMFG, lol i didn't even read this before i posted that song in a comment on ur other blog, freaky...

I love it when u see her in the middle of the day, it's such an awesome surprise, alot of the time shes just faint, as if hiding, but she's always thier, even if u can't see her...

I think that's part of her magic, because for as long as humans have been on this planet shes been thier, while the cave men would watch flowers die and things change, Eluna always leaves and comes back, she's been the one certainty on this planet for humans for millions of years...

of course in reality thats a lie, cause the sun will expand and fry her to a crisp and she'll crumble only to be absorbed into the expanding mass of the sun before it colapses in on itself and dies...

lol but in our small view of life? she'll always be thier...

(lol and u thought u took her too seriously :P)

I'll talk to you, it's wierd u know, cause these last couple of days i've been in a "spill my guts" sort of mood, luckily i haven't done it yet, but i'm so scared when i do it's gonna be to the wrong person... would you be my right person?

STILL WAITING ON AN EBONY HUG!!!

it's been over a yr u realise? too long to go without... :P

not alot of people in mine, just Me and Max, we alternate as to who i am, and the other tells the current one off... and then thiers that darkness to, the demon who lurks inside both of us... i supose that makes for a holy trinity?

lol

"If i could fly, i'd pick you up, and take you into the night, and show you a love, like you've never seen..."

... i can't believe u even repeat the joke, i skitz it at wat ever looser dares spout such obsceneties...

Thiers one thing in this world which i believe is so wrong it deserves the Death Penalty and that's Sexual Assault, no matter who, what, where, when, why. They Shall All Die.

I'm happy to hear you haven't cried, cause seriously if we were together and u cried as much as u say u did i'd be so worried sick, i don't think i'd ever feel confident enough to take my arms from around you... which is sad, cause i know your stronger then that...

I hate falling, so i've come the conclusion that i won't like flying...

lol my mind is so screwed...

oh well, i better go and get to work on this BLOG that i owe u, lol don't know what i'm gonna write yet though :P

Farewell Ebony

ily

;)

Anonymous said...

What's Sound Relief? lol, clearly we are not from the same continent, lmao! jk. I'm never heard of Sound Relief, though. O:

Rosa said...

Ebony, you can shame me. I didn't listen to sound relief. only for 10 minutes while I was at a store. Sorry.. :(

Nice sixwords.

Amy said...

ngggaww :(

p.s. i love your dad!! LOLOL! (not in a pedo way D= ) but yeh but i would sooo hi5 him :D

Rosa said...

OMG SHII... TRANSLATING :(

Rosa said...

Its alright. also.
You know you've blogged more than me.. HAHAHAH

my name is lisa said...

i read your blog, just so you know. someone you cant trust perhaps. i hope not. i was out in the city during sound relief :) i told people to go and stuff?
didnt listen to it at all. wanted to watched videos. but im totally capped T_T

Anonymous said...

Actually, no. I haven't heard of the Melbourne bushfires, either. BWAHAHAHA! You must think I'm so out of sync.