I have a Whole Lot Of Shit to post on this thingy
Like, I've already written the next 10 blogs.
I only need to blog everyday up to next week, so I'm not gonna need em all, so I might combine bits from all of them into this one.
PART ONE:
Found on Miish’s page.
Write down what you want to say to ten people, but never will. Don’t write their names, leave it anonymous and never speak of it again.
Person 1. – You know I’ve been working o building our friendship since the beginning of the year when I first laid eyes on you. I gave up about half way through when you lost interest in playing our stupid game anymore, but after camp, I wanna try again. I know you’d be a good friend for me, and I for you. Please give it a go… I just wanna understand you.
Are you complimenting me? Hm. Interesting. – weasleyswizardwheezes
Person 2. – I think you’re being very selfish about this decision you’re making. It’s not even your decision to make because it influences everyone around you, and you clearly don’t deserve that power. I thought you were a better a person, but you hurt my friends and you don’t care. I’m trying to forgive you, but it’s so hard for me.
Close ones crying – kills me inside. – randomperson
Person 3. – You have GOT to stop being so damn self-centred. Sure, that’s a little hypocritical of me, but I have a blog, so I get to judge people. Life is not always about you, and you should actually LISTEN to people when they’re trying to tell you something, not just talk about your own problems, because when something is wrong, I expect to be able to tell you about it without feeling like I’m impending on time we should be using to talk about you.
this is no fairytale......its life – reneigh
Person 4. – Ok, just a little piece of advice. I don’t want you to let it go. I WANT to talk about my problems, you just need to get me to open up a little. I’m willing to tell you everything, and you know that, but I won’t tell you stuff you’re not interested in hearing. Ask me if you have something you want me to tell you. You know I will.
Tear me open; see my soul. – ThrivingViolet
Person 5. - Thankyou for putting some effort into our friendship, I truly appreciate that. (Not that needs effort, for some reason, it's really natural). That's basically all I want to say, 'thanks', but... I dunno, I'll never say it to you. THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU.
You Make Our Connection Absolutely Right – MirrukuChii
Person 6. - I don't like what you're doing, couldn't you tell that it would hurt her? And yet, you did it anyway. Well that is NOT OKAY with me. I don't know how to stop you, but I will try very hard to find a way because she didn't deserve that!
Everyone close to you, hurts you - ThrivingViolet
Person 7. - I feel sorry for you, but I don't want to. I WANT to tear you to pieces, because I know I have that power. It's weird to feel so violent, but I like it. You don't deserve my sympathy. If I didn't have a conscience, I would hurt you like I know I can. You're hurting EVERYONE I love, and you don't care, because someone hurt you, and you can't deal with it. I do feel sympathetic, but I don't like you attitude.
I hope it gives you hell. – shelled
Person 8. - I can't do it. I know I said I'd put in the effort for you, but I can't do that. I can't because I'm not you, I don't have your will-power or determination to do what you think is best. I know what's best for me, and I can't do it, because I have something you lack, and that is understanding. Sure, I would love to do exactly what you ask of me and never look back, but I won't; because both of us deserve better than that.
Stop talking, stop asking. Just listen. - October
Person 9. - Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT a joke. PLEASE don't treat me like one. It's not funny that I get annoyed when I see you, it's not funny when I burn with rage. I'm hurting, and you're laughing, and I don't like it at all. I'm more than that.
I cried, he laughed. Ugh, jerk. – sk8hotti
Person 10. - I know how hard you're trying to do the right thing, I really do. But maybe, you could be more objective. Step outside yourself to do this better, because you're not doing anythig right. In fact, you're all wrong. Change. For me.
Just a girl with some problems. - coulda.been.a.comet
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PART TWO:
Regulars.
Today’s vocab word: Abnegate
What it means: To refuse or deny oneself
Why do I care? Because it’s something I should try, I’m too selfish.
Today's 6 words:
You get me thinking. Bad move. – October
Uh, here, just a link to a nice blog post, not an actual blog, just a cute post. http://coloradolady.blogspot.com/2008/11/colors-that-layer-heart.html
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PART THREE:
Random
“An optimist is a person who sees only the lights in the picture, whereas a pessimist sees only the shadows. An idealist, however, is one who sees the light and the shadows, but in addition sees something else: the possibility of changing the picture, of making the lights prevail over the shadows.” Just something nice :)
And here, I'll write this thing down, cuz it's like, in me, and I always write what I feel. Even though it's irrational, and in a few minutes I have a mood swing and feel different.
Maybe it wasn’t fair on either of us. Maybe it wasn’t fair on anyone around us either, because I know that I influenced them too. But it hurt too much to contain to myself. I guess, I put a lot of myself into creating something beautiful, and I wasn’t ready to give it away.
But after everything, I was left with a torn family, broken promises, and only a piece of something that I used to have all of.
Still like that I guess.
Especially with the family.
And I still remember all your promises. Including the ones you’ve kept. And the ones you broke instantly.
And that little piece that I have… it’s dulled a lot, by comparison. It doesn’t shine as much, and I wish I could give it back, because it belongs to you, not me. Only I can’t give it back, because I’ll never take back mine.
So of course it made us hurt people; when two people are pulling at something that gets cut, they both fall over, and when other people are holding on to them, everyone falls over. At least, that’s the best metaphor I can think of.
There’s really no point to this, other than to convince myself that I did the right. Or at least that what I did was okay, or understandable. I guess, if you did the same thing, I can accept that it was right. But, if I truly believed that, I wouldn’t still be trying to covince myself, would I?
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Familylife
Always better with writing than speaking. – coulda.been.a.comet
I feel like writing about something I don’t normally blog about, because it’s a little too personal. But I want my blog readers to know EVERYTHING, so here, read and enjoy:
At least Dad has recognised the problem, but he doesn’t express himself very well. Idiot. She’s so upset now. What he MEANT was that she really shouldn’t be worrying too much about changing the house when the two of them have been sleeping in different rooms for three years. What he SAID was that she’s “too focused on materialistic things” and that she “cares more about the house than the home”.
At least he’s finally realised the problem, right?
Although I’ve only recently come to terms with it. And I think my sister has too, so ‘opening up old wounds’ suddenly has so many different meanings in my life.
You guys don’t realise that not telling me stuff hurts me more.
Sure, you’re scared that if you say something it will cause me to think about it and all the connotations associated with it, but that’s my problem!
I want to know anyway. Tell me anyway. Deal with problems head on. Because Nikki and I have run out of ways to deal with this. IGNORE IT is as far as we've gotten.
I don't know how you want me to deal with this, but you guys had better sort yourselves out, cuz you KNOW we can't just go on like this.
I feel like writing about something I don’t normally blog about, because it’s a little too personal. But I want my blog readers to know EVERYTHING, so here, read and enjoy:
At least Dad has recognised the problem, but he doesn’t express himself very well. Idiot. She’s so upset now. What he MEANT was that she really shouldn’t be worrying too much about changing the house when the two of them have been sleeping in different rooms for three years. What he SAID was that she’s “too focused on materialistic things” and that she “cares more about the house than the home”.
At least he’s finally realised the problem, right?
Although I’ve only recently come to terms with it. And I think my sister has too, so ‘opening up old wounds’ suddenly has so many different meanings in my life.
You guys don’t realise that not telling me stuff hurts me more.
Sure, you’re scared that if you say something it will cause me to think about it and all the connotations associated with it, but that’s my problem!
I want to know anyway. Tell me anyway. Deal with problems head on. Because Nikki and I have run out of ways to deal with this. IGNORE IT is as far as we've gotten.
I don't know how you want me to deal with this, but you guys had better sort yourselves out, cuz you KNOW we can't just go on like this.
5 things you don't know about me.
Okay, here’s some serious karma for you. On the weekend, my mum said I could chuck a sicky yesterday (as I actually went to school on Friday) and what happens? I get sick! Yesterday and today! Soo not fair, I NEVER jig, how smelly.
Moving on.
Tagged by Amy, but took a while to actually post.
From Amysaurrr to Ebony
[Five things about Ebony that relatively few people or blog readers know:]
1. Ever since I started my blog, I love telling people secrets, now I keep hardly anything to myself, I tell you guys everything, if you read my blog, you’re in my head. I give you the opportunity to see everything, it's up to you to take that opportunity and understand me.
2. I fall in love a lot easier than you guys realise. Because I only tell you if it becomes big (i.e. overwhelming or semi permanent). But there are about 20 guys in our grade who I have, if only for a few seconds, fallen for. (I would name you them, but at least 2 read this blog, and at least 5 are complete idiots)
3. I relate better to people who have experienced depression. This is because they understand me when I get moody, or when I have things I need to tell them about. I often fall into depression, especially when spending time by my self, or in some sort of personal crisis.
4. I’m ashamed of many different parts of myself. These are the parts I joke about the most. Like, all my jokes about being cool and awesome are because, in primary, I had really really low self esteem, especially since people were always putting me down. Now that people agree with me about being cool, even if they’re kidding, I feel better, so I joke about everything that hurts me. It does actually help.
5. When people tell me they love me, I go all warm and fuzzy inside. Even my family, who tell me multiple times each day, make me feel special when they say they love me. I think that’s because I’m more of an honest person now, and it feels nice to understand how people feel.
Uhhm, tagging Uyen, Allan, Lizzie… you know what, no one reads my blog. If you’re sad enough to be reading this, I tag you!
Moving on.
Tagged by Amy, but took a while to actually post.
From Amysaurrr to Ebony
[Five things about Ebony that relatively few people or blog readers know:]
1. Ever since I started my blog, I love telling people secrets, now I keep hardly anything to myself, I tell you guys everything, if you read my blog, you’re in my head. I give you the opportunity to see everything, it's up to you to take that opportunity and understand me.
2. I fall in love a lot easier than you guys realise. Because I only tell you if it becomes big (i.e. overwhelming or semi permanent). But there are about 20 guys in our grade who I have, if only for a few seconds, fallen for. (I would name you them, but at least 2 read this blog, and at least 5 are complete idiots)
3. I relate better to people who have experienced depression. This is because they understand me when I get moody, or when I have things I need to tell them about. I often fall into depression, especially when spending time by my self, or in some sort of personal crisis.
4. I’m ashamed of many different parts of myself. These are the parts I joke about the most. Like, all my jokes about being cool and awesome are because, in primary, I had really really low self esteem, especially since people were always putting me down. Now that people agree with me about being cool, even if they’re kidding, I feel better, so I joke about everything that hurts me. It does actually help.
5. When people tell me they love me, I go all warm and fuzzy inside. Even my family, who tell me multiple times each day, make me feel special when they say they love me. I think that’s because I’m more of an honest person now, and it feels nice to understand how people feel.
Uhhm, tagging Uyen, Allan, Lizzie… you know what, no one reads my blog. If you’re sad enough to be reading this, I tag you!
Monday, 24 November 2008
Random. I'm sick, leave me alone.
Today’s vocab word: Abhor
What it means: To loathe/hate
Why I care: Allan used it in his poem :) and I was curious… ta da!
Today’s 6 words: Happy endings are just unfinished stories. – LoveMeEasy
I was watching star dust today. So beautiful, but it ended with the words “happily ever after”, and that made me cry :P weird, huh? That something so beautiful can also be a reminder of how ugly the world is. Okay, okay, I’m going all DNM again, I’m very sorry, I’ll just leave it at this: stardust is cool :):)
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OK, I’m gonna go now
Because I’m sick
And if there is ever a time that you should be relieved from prioir NaBloPoMo commitments, it is when you’re sick.
Ciao
What it means: To loathe/hate
Why I care: Allan used it in his poem :) and I was curious… ta da!
Today’s 6 words: Happy endings are just unfinished stories. – LoveMeEasy
I was watching star dust today. So beautiful, but it ended with the words “happily ever after”, and that made me cry :P weird, huh? That something so beautiful can also be a reminder of how ugly the world is. Okay, okay, I’m going all DNM again, I’m very sorry, I’ll just leave it at this: stardust is cool :):)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK, I’m gonna go now
Because I’m sick
And if there is ever a time that you should be relieved from prioir NaBloPoMo commitments, it is when you’re sick.
Ciao
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Songs :)
Busy today, autoposting, only got time for song lyrics
The Show - Lenka
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop'
Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not
I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
Bruises - Chairlift
I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do handstands for you
Everytime I fell you on yeah everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you
I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do handstands for you
Everytime I fell on you yeah everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands but everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for
You-ooo etc...
For you-ooo etc...
So black and blue-oooo etc...
For you-ooo etc...
I grabbed some frozen strawberries so I could ice your bruising knees
But frozen things they all unfreeze and now I taste like....
All those frozen strawberries I used to chill your bruising knees,
Hot July ain't good to me
I'm pink and black and blueI got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue
Got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue for you
OKAY ppls, bye bye now
The Show - Lenka
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop'
Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not
I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough
I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
Bruises - Chairlift
I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do handstands for you
Everytime I fell you on yeah everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands for you
But everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for you
I tried to do handstands for you
I tried to do handstands for you
Everytime I fell on you yeah everytime I fell
I tried to do handstands but everytime I fell for you
I'm permanently black and blue, permanently blue for
You-ooo etc...
For you-ooo etc...
So black and blue-oooo etc...
For you-ooo etc...
I grabbed some frozen strawberries so I could ice your bruising knees
But frozen things they all unfreeze and now I taste like....
All those frozen strawberries I used to chill your bruising knees,
Hot July ain't good to me
I'm pink and black and blueI got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue
Got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue for you
OKAY ppls, bye bye now
Saturday, 22 November 2008
One Last Cry - Westlife
My Final Goodbye
Note to all boys: I quit. - 133222
this is it. my last blog about you. promise. you know why? cuz i have bigger fish to fry
ive finally straightened out my priorities
and instead of being irrationally and unrequitedly in love with you, i shall focus on more important things
so here i am to say goodbye
to say "i'll being seeing you" and walk away
because i dont wish you were here anymore
i dont love you, i dont like you
i dont even care about you as much as i used to
it really was surprisingly easy to get over you
i guess it's like amy said, it's easier if there's another guy
and there was, for about 24 hours
and then i gave up on both of you
and now im happy... enough.
im single and loving it
im glad that i liked you, and i dont regret the time i spent wishing you were mine
because back then, you truly were a good person to me
now ive seen more of you, and i dont like the rest
im glad i loved you, and im glad i dont anymore
everything worked out well for me, everything to do with love anyway
so, i'll be seeing you
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf,
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were
I give my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry, one last cry before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind this time, been living a lie
I guess im down to my last cry...cry
I was here, you were there
I guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry, one last cry before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time, been living a lie
I know I’ve gotta be strong cause why I’m in love goes on and on and on and on, oh
(Instrumental)
Im gonna dry my eyes right after I have my
One last cry, one last cry before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time, been living a lie
I guess im down
I guess im down
I guess im down to my last cryyyyyyyyy, ooh
Note to all boys: I quit. - 133222
this is it. my last blog about you. promise. you know why? cuz i have bigger fish to fry
ive finally straightened out my priorities
and instead of being irrationally and unrequitedly in love with you, i shall focus on more important things
so here i am to say goodbye
to say "i'll being seeing you" and walk away
because i dont wish you were here anymore
i dont love you, i dont like you
i dont even care about you as much as i used to
it really was surprisingly easy to get over you
i guess it's like amy said, it's easier if there's another guy
and there was, for about 24 hours
and then i gave up on both of you
and now im happy... enough.
im single and loving it
im glad that i liked you, and i dont regret the time i spent wishing you were mine
because back then, you truly were a good person to me
now ive seen more of you, and i dont like the rest
im glad i loved you, and im glad i dont anymore
everything worked out well for me, everything to do with love anyway
so, i'll be seeing you
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf,
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were
I give my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry, one last cry before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind this time, been living a lie
I guess im down to my last cry...cry
I was here, you were there
I guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings were
Gotta get over you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry, one last cry before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time, been living a lie
I know I’ve gotta be strong cause why I’m in love goes on and on and on and on, oh
(Instrumental)
Im gonna dry my eyes right after I have my
One last cry, one last cry before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time, been living a lie
I guess im down
I guess im down
I guess im down to my last cryyyyyyyyy, ooh
Friday, 21 November 2008
I'm Back!
You want you 6 words and you KNOW it
Lying on rooftops, contemplating the world - redteacup
ok, im back.
after my lovely CAMP!! and my birthday, i am back.
i have a few things lined up to blog about over the next few days
e.g
1. Best Frieds :)
2. My Final Goodbye
3. Friends @ camp.
4. My Birthday
5. Australian Idol
...etc
BUT for the next few days ill be really busy what with going out for dinner, spanish school, staying the weekend w/ my aunty and my birthday lunch with family
so i shall maybe autopost a little bit of this stuff in advance, like, say, today?
ok, blog numero uno ~ Best Friends :)
19-11-08 11am
Now that's just not right.
You shouldn't be my life ANYMORE.
And I don't even mean in a romantic way, I mean, my whole life shouldn't be about us being friends.
Because it is!
You know why I took that leap of faith?
Because I made a deal with God
(yes, I have prgressed to fully-fledged insanity)
I made a deal, that if I trusted my entire life to a piece of rope; He owed me.
He owed me you.
We have to able to be friends again
Because I need you back, and God promised.
This is when I decided not to put this on bebo.
This is when I decided that you are my entire life.
This is when I decided, that I've stopped caring.
Stopped caring what my friends think.
Stopped caring what my parents think.
Stopped caring that my 'criminal' jacket actually tells the truth.
Stopped caring that I'm doing the wrong thing, that I always do the wrong this.
Because God owes me.
And all I want is you.
still 19-11-08 4pm
Changed my mind...I think.
I shouldn't want you that much.
It's unhealthy.
I'm sure there's heaps more things I could be focusing my attention on
But did i?? Oh no!
"Here Ebony, fall down this cliff"
"Oh sure, God, all I want is my best friend back"
That's just not right... and yet, it feels right.
How can something feel right and wrong at the same time?
More to the point, how can something BE right and wrong at the same time?
Or is it just wrong, and it only feels right because I want it so much.
20-11-08
OK, the way I see it I have two options
Option 1. - the RIGHT option, yes ebony, yes it is.
I stop talking to you altogther. i walk away, and i destroy us both
i know how hard it was for you to forget me, and i know how you held on
i know how easy it was for me to forget you, but you're just a better person than me, ok?
and i knew it would hurt you to lose me, beause, well, i saw how you were with 36636422
so what, i just do that to you again?
you are an amazing person. you are a perfect person, you do EVERYTHING right
you always do what is better for other people, and you always listen to adults, because well, you are one (okay, maybe i shouldnt remind myself of that fact)
so, do you truly deserve to be walked out on again?
i know you've had it tough in your life, and i wanted to be the only person to never fail you
but i did
and i regret it, can i live with hurting you again?
or am i just trying to talk myself out of this option so i can pick the wrong one?
but... i cant hurt you. not again.
Option 2. - the WRONG option, hear that? wrong! with capitals!
i ignore what everyone feels is the best thing for me
and i start talking to you again
i destroy my relationship with my mother, as well as the only bit of trust ive managed to build with her over the past year
i do what i want
with no regard for other people and their feelings
i let myself yself be your friend again
fully aware that i WILL fall in love with you again
and fully aware that that IS illegal.
21-11-08
i was happy again for a second this morning, but then i remembered last time i was happy
and i remembered that i hadnt figured out my situation with you yet
and i remebered that i didnt have a solution
and i said byebye to my happiness
i WANT to be happy again
sure, i know i dont deserve it!
but i want it, and i usually get what i want
sure, im selfcentered
i know, deep down, that i dont deserve happiness, because i am such an awful person
but i also know that you are perfect, and you DO deserve happiness
but do i only think that this will make you happy because it will make me happy?
and if not, do I have to choose between your happiness and everyone else's?
and so now, i sit here, typing away, not knowing which option to choose
just knowing that i cant hurt you again...
i cant hurt myself again...
i cant hurt my family again...
but also knowing that i will hurt ALL of them.
Lying on rooftops, contemplating the world - redteacup
ok, im back.
after my lovely CAMP!! and my birthday, i am back.
i have a few things lined up to blog about over the next few days
e.g
1. Best Frieds :)
2. My Final Goodbye
3. Friends @ camp.
4. My Birthday
5. Australian Idol
...etc
BUT for the next few days ill be really busy what with going out for dinner, spanish school, staying the weekend w/ my aunty and my birthday lunch with family
so i shall maybe autopost a little bit of this stuff in advance, like, say, today?
ok, blog numero uno ~ Best Friends :)
19-11-08 11am
Now that's just not right.
You shouldn't be my life ANYMORE.
And I don't even mean in a romantic way, I mean, my whole life shouldn't be about us being friends.
Because it is!
You know why I took that leap of faith?
Because I made a deal with God
(yes, I have prgressed to fully-fledged insanity)
I made a deal, that if I trusted my entire life to a piece of rope; He owed me.
He owed me you.
We have to able to be friends again
Because I need you back, and God promised.
This is when I decided not to put this on bebo.
This is when I decided that you are my entire life.
This is when I decided, that I've stopped caring.
Stopped caring what my friends think.
Stopped caring what my parents think.
Stopped caring that my 'criminal' jacket actually tells the truth.
Stopped caring that I'm doing the wrong thing, that I always do the wrong this.
Because God owes me.
And all I want is you.
still 19-11-08 4pm
Changed my mind...I think.
I shouldn't want you that much.
It's unhealthy.
I'm sure there's heaps more things I could be focusing my attention on
But did i?? Oh no!
"Here Ebony, fall down this cliff"
"Oh sure, God, all I want is my best friend back"
That's just not right... and yet, it feels right.
How can something feel right and wrong at the same time?
More to the point, how can something BE right and wrong at the same time?
Or is it just wrong, and it only feels right because I want it so much.
20-11-08
OK, the way I see it I have two options
Option 1. - the RIGHT option, yes ebony, yes it is.
I stop talking to you altogther. i walk away, and i destroy us both
i know how hard it was for you to forget me, and i know how you held on
i know how easy it was for me to forget you, but you're just a better person than me, ok?
and i knew it would hurt you to lose me, beause, well, i saw how you were with 36636422
so what, i just do that to you again?
you are an amazing person. you are a perfect person, you do EVERYTHING right
you always do what is better for other people, and you always listen to adults, because well, you are one (okay, maybe i shouldnt remind myself of that fact)
so, do you truly deserve to be walked out on again?
i know you've had it tough in your life, and i wanted to be the only person to never fail you
but i did
and i regret it, can i live with hurting you again?
or am i just trying to talk myself out of this option so i can pick the wrong one?
but... i cant hurt you. not again.
Option 2. - the WRONG option, hear that? wrong! with capitals!
i ignore what everyone feels is the best thing for me
and i start talking to you again
i destroy my relationship with my mother, as well as the only bit of trust ive managed to build with her over the past year
i do what i want
with no regard for other people and their feelings
i let myself yself be your friend again
fully aware that i WILL fall in love with you again
and fully aware that that IS illegal.
21-11-08
i was happy again for a second this morning, but then i remembered last time i was happy
and i remembered that i hadnt figured out my situation with you yet
and i remebered that i didnt have a solution
and i said byebye to my happiness
i WANT to be happy again
sure, i know i dont deserve it!
but i want it, and i usually get what i want
sure, im selfcentered
i know, deep down, that i dont deserve happiness, because i am such an awful person
but i also know that you are perfect, and you DO deserve happiness
but do i only think that this will make you happy because it will make me happy?
and if not, do I have to choose between your happiness and everyone else's?
and so now, i sit here, typing away, not knowing which option to choose
just knowing that i cant hurt you again...
i cant hurt myself again...
i cant hurt my family again...
but also knowing that i will hurt ALL of them.
Thursday, 20 November 2008
Hippiness/Love/DNMs
Ok, I have this thing, right? Everytime I time I see a sunrise or sunset, it think it’s a sunrise. Maybe I’m an idiot, maybe I’m blind, but of course I have this really deep and meaningful way of looking at things:
I don’t believe in endings, only beginnings.
See? It was cheesier than you thought it would be.
But now, when I see them, I think they’re sunsets.
You want me to be DNM again?? Yeah? You know you love it.
I’ve realised that all good things come to an end, and eventually, things end more often than they begin.
I’m SUCH a hippie, aren’t I?
*sigh*
I love my hippiness, and be honest, you do too!
loveLOVElove.
It’s become my whole life, huh? My every thought, my every BLOG, so weird. I mean, not totally unusual for me, I’m such a LOVEly person :)
Its been on my mind so much lately, though. I try so hard to tell myself that it doesn’t matter. But it does, of course it does. Love = life. Well, for me anyway. I know that’s wrong, I know that it should be a little less significant in the grand scheme of things. But it’s not, and for me, it never will be.
I fall in love too easily. Some people are jealous of that… but they shouldn’t be, because, it’s soo confusing. And then you feel all slutty. But, like, it’s genuine. Sorta. So that’s ok, right?
I dunno, I still feel like an idiot.
Ugh, this is so smelly.
I get back from camp today. But I have to go to work at 5, so I dunno if I have time to blog, so I'm gonna autopost his one too, like Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday when I will be (by now WAS) at camp.
Weird to think that by the time you guys read this, camp will be over, I will be 15, things will be different. Time is so strange, where does it go? If no one is in a room, does it disappear??
Hmmm.
Ok, just before I leave, I need to give you guys a really funny mental picture.
My are getting me a PS2 for my bday, and singstar. But they didn't know if it worked, so they tried it out! My Dad won! They both got tone deaf *shakes head*
Then again, my mummy, like me, sings flat. So I can understand.
And my Dad was probably so unused to actually knowing the words to the song...
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Quotes
Ok, so I was surfing the net (as you do), and I stumbled across a compilation of quotes. If you guys give them a chance, they’re very good. (I know, I know, they’re all about LOVE, but it's my birthday, so I can blog about WHATEVER I WANT).) Read, and enjoy.
{{Half have what they’re quotes from, the rest, meh}}
Hearts will be practical only when they are made unbreakable
The Wizard Of Oz
Heartbreak is agony. Complete, excruciating agony. It's like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on, and you can't breathe... you don't want to eat... you can't function. It's the most intense pain that you'll ever feel, and the worst part is, there's no way to relieve it. It's unyielding, merciless torture, and you know that it's yours for life.
- Dawson’s Creek
I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
- When Harry met Sally
"And I can't pretend I won't think about you when I'm older,
'cause we never really had our closure, this can't be the end.."
- Hinder, better than me
"Sometimes things don't turn out the wayyou want them to. Sometimes the peopleyou choose to believe are wrong.Sometimes there isn't a good guy and a bad guy.Sometimes even the ones you want to believe turn out to be liars. The first boy is always the hardest to get over. It's just the way the world works."--Ashley, THAT SUMMER, By Sarah Dessen
TRIXIE: "It's crazy, right? To love someone who's hurt you?"
JANICE: "It's crazier to think that someone someone who hurts you, loves you."
-The Tenth Circle
"Don't ever cry over something that wouldn't cry over you." -Laruen Conrad
True love is felonious. You take someone’s breath away, you rob them of the ability to utter a single word. You steal a heart.
And there's a part of me that still believes if you want Superman to show up, first there’s got to be someone worth saving.
-My sister’s keeper
After all -- people die, computers crash. All we can do is breathe and reboot.
--SEX & THE CITY
The puzzle is my heart and the final piece is you
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car.
Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass. Belle feel in love with a hideous beast, Jasmine married a common thief. Ariel walked on land for love and life, Snow White barely escaped a knife. It was all about blood, sweat, and tears, because love means facing your biggest fears.
It's funny how you go through the year and nothing seems to change but when you look back, everything is different. It's amazing that no matter how much we tell ourselves that we won't change for anyone, we always seem to. And no matter how much we say we won't care what they think about us, it's the number one thing on our minds. If you look at how I used to be and you look at me now, you'll realize I'm not the same girl I used to be. All of this shit got to me. I've always avoided fights. I make jokes instead. I tell people what they want to hear just to avoid confrontation. I pretend to want things I don't want and I pretend not to want things I do want. No one gets hurt except me. The lines are so crossed and blurred at this point that I don't know what I want. I just know I want it to be easy... And sometimes it's easier for me to pretend rather than face my feelings. Sometimes it's easier to try to make it alone rather than risk getting hurt again. Sometimes it's easier to be numb towards certain people so I don't let them get too close. Sometimes I'm scared, but when I act numb towards *you*, it doesn't mean I don't care it means I care too much.
Boys. They’re so stupid. Just when everything is perfect, they turn around and do something so idiotic, so horrible, and they crush your entire world. The guy you thought was the only one that was worth something, that was not like the others, well, you drop your guard, and you see him standing there, with a grin on his face, a sign around his neck, saying “I’m just like the others. You just didn’t see it, until it was too late.”
If you're going to love me, love me deeply. If you're going to break my heart, break it all. If you're going to care, care for me completely. If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall. If you're going to stay, then stay forever. And if you want to leave, then do it today. If you're going to change, change for the better. And if you're going to talk, please mean what you say.
People think that if you love somebody hard enough,
then everything is just going to work out.
well, people are wrong.
"&& i really wish you'd come back.
Not to say hi, or to tell me how good you're doing without me;
just to stop by, and to give me the one thing of mine you never returned:
my heart."
Time has moved on.
You've surely moved on.
Everyone's forgotten about us.
So why can't I?
Now that I know what I know,
I know that I will always love you.
And you say you're over him, but you can't deny it.
As hard as you try to undo that knot of love,
you can't untie it
Do you know the most surprising part about heartache?
It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart, or a head-on car wreck, it should.
Because when a person you've promised to cherish forever says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You should have to wake up day after day after that.
trying to understand how in the world you didn't know.
its no use,
trying to forget about you.
because every time i hear that song..
you come back to me.
People say you have at least
5 dreams per night.
That's like 2 thousand dreams a year.
So at least one of those
Has to be about me..
There`s that occasional night
where you just break down & cry,
cause you know that no matter what;
things will never be the same.
Maybe thats what happens,
you fall in love to fall apart,
and yet you'll always want to
do it again.
it's funny how the sweetest things
are the most forbidden.
Funny how time changes, but feelings don't
Please don't pretend that nothing happened
that you never stopped for a second glance
don't wish we had never met
when all I can do is think about you
don't pretend that your heart didn't skip a beat
or that your stomach didn't do flip-flops
and for my sake please dont forget me.
he landed smack in the middle of your
world, and turned everything upside down
until you were addicted to his smile,
his voice filled your dreams,
and everything that didn't make sense
before is all of a sudden perfect.
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met
Do you ever wonder? I mean about us, what happened? It's almost like our relationship was a piece of paper ; crumbled up and thrown away. What would have happened if we didn't throw it away? Maybe we would still be together, maybe not. Or maybe we secretly haven't thrown it away yet. We're saving it because someday we hope we can pull it out of our pockets and rekindle what we once had. It's that we don't want to lose what we had, but we know it's already lost. I wonder that a lot and I wonder if you wonder sometimes too.
He doesn’t know what’s right.
She doesn’t know what’s wrong.
She only knows the pain that comes
from waiting for him so long.
the second chance means nothing if nothing was learned from the first.
{{Half have what they’re quotes from, the rest, meh}}
Hearts will be practical only when they are made unbreakable
The Wizard Of Oz
Heartbreak is agony. Complete, excruciating agony. It's like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on, and you can't breathe... you don't want to eat... you can't function. It's the most intense pain that you'll ever feel, and the worst part is, there's no way to relieve it. It's unyielding, merciless torture, and you know that it's yours for life.
- Dawson’s Creek
I love that you get cold when it is 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
- When Harry met Sally
"And I can't pretend I won't think about you when I'm older,
'cause we never really had our closure, this can't be the end.."
- Hinder, better than me
"Sometimes things don't turn out the wayyou want them to. Sometimes the peopleyou choose to believe are wrong.Sometimes there isn't a good guy and a bad guy.Sometimes even the ones you want to believe turn out to be liars. The first boy is always the hardest to get over. It's just the way the world works."--Ashley, THAT SUMMER, By Sarah Dessen
TRIXIE: "It's crazy, right? To love someone who's hurt you?"
JANICE: "It's crazier to think that someone someone who hurts you, loves you."
-The Tenth Circle
"Don't ever cry over something that wouldn't cry over you." -Laruen Conrad
True love is felonious. You take someone’s breath away, you rob them of the ability to utter a single word. You steal a heart.
And there's a part of me that still believes if you want Superman to show up, first there’s got to be someone worth saving.
-My sister’s keeper
After all -- people die, computers crash. All we can do is breathe and reboot.
--SEX & THE CITY
The puzzle is my heart and the final piece is you
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car.
Cinderella walked on broken glass, Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass. Belle feel in love with a hideous beast, Jasmine married a common thief. Ariel walked on land for love and life, Snow White barely escaped a knife. It was all about blood, sweat, and tears, because love means facing your biggest fears.
It's funny how you go through the year and nothing seems to change but when you look back, everything is different. It's amazing that no matter how much we tell ourselves that we won't change for anyone, we always seem to. And no matter how much we say we won't care what they think about us, it's the number one thing on our minds. If you look at how I used to be and you look at me now, you'll realize I'm not the same girl I used to be. All of this shit got to me. I've always avoided fights. I make jokes instead. I tell people what they want to hear just to avoid confrontation. I pretend to want things I don't want and I pretend not to want things I do want. No one gets hurt except me. The lines are so crossed and blurred at this point that I don't know what I want. I just know I want it to be easy... And sometimes it's easier for me to pretend rather than face my feelings. Sometimes it's easier to try to make it alone rather than risk getting hurt again. Sometimes it's easier to be numb towards certain people so I don't let them get too close. Sometimes I'm scared, but when I act numb towards *you*, it doesn't mean I don't care it means I care too much.
Boys. They’re so stupid. Just when everything is perfect, they turn around and do something so idiotic, so horrible, and they crush your entire world. The guy you thought was the only one that was worth something, that was not like the others, well, you drop your guard, and you see him standing there, with a grin on his face, a sign around his neck, saying “I’m just like the others. You just didn’t see it, until it was too late.”
If you're going to love me, love me deeply. If you're going to break my heart, break it all. If you're going to care, care for me completely. If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall. If you're going to stay, then stay forever. And if you want to leave, then do it today. If you're going to change, change for the better. And if you're going to talk, please mean what you say.
People think that if you love somebody hard enough,
then everything is just going to work out.
well, people are wrong.
"&& i really wish you'd come back.
Not to say hi, or to tell me how good you're doing without me;
just to stop by, and to give me the one thing of mine you never returned:
my heart."
Time has moved on.
You've surely moved on.
Everyone's forgotten about us.
So why can't I?
Now that I know what I know,
I know that I will always love you.
And you say you're over him, but you can't deny it.
As hard as you try to undo that knot of love,
you can't untie it
Do you know the most surprising part about heartache?
It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart, or a head-on car wreck, it should.
Because when a person you've promised to cherish forever says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You should have to wake up day after day after that.
trying to understand how in the world you didn't know.
its no use,
trying to forget about you.
because every time i hear that song..
you come back to me.
People say you have at least
5 dreams per night.
That's like 2 thousand dreams a year.
So at least one of those
Has to be about me..
There`s that occasional night
where you just break down & cry,
cause you know that no matter what;
things will never be the same.
Maybe thats what happens,
you fall in love to fall apart,
and yet you'll always want to
do it again.
it's funny how the sweetest things
are the most forbidden.
Funny how time changes, but feelings don't
Please don't pretend that nothing happened
that you never stopped for a second glance
don't wish we had never met
when all I can do is think about you
don't pretend that your heart didn't skip a beat
or that your stomach didn't do flip-flops
and for my sake please dont forget me.
he landed smack in the middle of your
world, and turned everything upside down
until you were addicted to his smile,
his voice filled your dreams,
and everything that didn't make sense
before is all of a sudden perfect.
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met
Do you ever wonder? I mean about us, what happened? It's almost like our relationship was a piece of paper ; crumbled up and thrown away. What would have happened if we didn't throw it away? Maybe we would still be together, maybe not. Or maybe we secretly haven't thrown it away yet. We're saving it because someday we hope we can pull it out of our pockets and rekindle what we once had. It's that we don't want to lose what we had, but we know it's already lost. I wonder that a lot and I wonder if you wonder sometimes too.
He doesn’t know what’s right.
She doesn’t know what’s wrong.
She only knows the pain that comes
from waiting for him so long.
the second chance means nothing if nothing was learned from the first.
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Ebony's a Working Girl Now
ok, so as some of you know, on Thursday, I went fora job interview, and on Friday, I was told I got the job *throws party*. So on Thursday at 5pm, I have my Induction, before then I need a bank account, TFN, uniform, and I have to fill out some papers.
Bank account – on Monday/Tuesday, I caught the train to Livo and was picked up by my mummy + sister, to go to the Commonwealth Bank to get us both bank accounts. I OFFICIALLY have $100, oooh, I am soo cool.
TFN – Yeah, I picked up the forms at school, but never really got around to filling them in. But that’s all right, they have the forms at my work (!!), so I can do them later.
Uniform – My mum/sister/both will pick up my top during the week, whilst I am at camp. But on Saturday, I bought:
· Skirt (really pro looking, and very long. My mum wants to shorten it)
· Shoes (really comfy, and pretty, I like :))
· Pants ( they’re ¾ cuz I couldn’t find the normal ones that I liked in my size :P).
Papers – Meant to fill them out before Monday, but they haven’t been organised, so my mum/sister can go fill tem out on Monday when I’m at camp, and then they’ll get my signature on Thursday.
++ I CAN go to madd night!! :) Cuz that was meant to be my induction, but then it was moved to this Thursday so ALL IS GOOD. :)
Bank account – on Monday/Tuesday, I caught the train to Livo and was picked up by my mummy + sister, to go to the Commonwealth Bank to get us both bank accounts. I OFFICIALLY have $100, oooh, I am soo cool.
TFN – Yeah, I picked up the forms at school, but never really got around to filling them in. But that’s all right, they have the forms at my work (!!), so I can do them later.
Uniform – My mum/sister/both will pick up my top during the week, whilst I am at camp. But on Saturday, I bought:
· Skirt (really pro looking, and very long. My mum wants to shorten it)
· Shoes (really comfy, and pretty, I like :))
· Pants ( they’re ¾ cuz I couldn’t find the normal ones that I liked in my size :P).
Papers – Meant to fill them out before Monday, but they haven’t been organised, so my mum/sister can go fill tem out on Monday when I’m at camp, and then they’ll get my signature on Thursday.
++ I CAN go to madd night!! :) Cuz that was meant to be my induction, but then it was moved to this Thursday so ALL IS GOOD. :)
Monday, 17 November 2008
Lousie Rennison
OK, you guys may or may not (say, if you’re noob like Corinne) heard of the movie Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging{http://www.angusthongsmovie.com/intl/uk/}, you have? Oh goody. Well this movie was based on a book, do you know what that book was called?
Angus, Thongs and Full-frontal snogging. (No, I do not know why they changed the name). This book is part of a series, Confessions of Georgia Nicholson. We all up to speed? OK.
This series currently has nine books:
Angus Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging
It’s OK, I’m wearing really big knickers (In USA, ‘On The Bright Side, I’m Now The Girlfriend Of A Sex God’)
Knocked out by my nunga-nungas
Dancing in my Nuddy-Pants.
…And That’s When it Fell Off in my Hand (In USA, ‘Away Laughing on a Fast Camel’)
…Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers
Startled by his furry shorts
Luuurve is a Many Trousered Thing (In USA, ‘Love is a Many Trousered Thing’)
Stop in the Name of Pants!
Anyways, so reading the Confession books, I discovered a whole new way of life. Seriously, her vocabulary alone is completely out there. I leant Corinne one of the books durig roll call last week, and she couldn’t understand half of it (:L). Sure the books have the occasional “sheer bonkerosity” or “red-bottomosity”, but they are VERY good, and worth the read. Here, I’ll be mean/cool, and give you guys a teaser of ‘Dancing in My Nuddy Pants’ (opening paragraph):
“I’ve just seen a sparrow quite literally washed off its perch on a tree. It should have had its umbrella up. But even if it had had its umbrella up, it might have slipped on a wet leaf and crashed into a passing squirrel. That’s what life is like. Well, that’s what my life is like.”
Look, ok, I'm at camp and I have nothing else to post about :P
Angus, Thongs and Full-frontal snogging. (No, I do not know why they changed the name). This book is part of a series, Confessions of Georgia Nicholson. We all up to speed? OK.
This series currently has nine books:
Angus Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging
It’s OK, I’m wearing really big knickers (In USA, ‘On The Bright Side, I’m Now The Girlfriend Of A Sex God’)
Knocked out by my nunga-nungas
Dancing in my Nuddy-Pants.
…And That’s When it Fell Off in my Hand (In USA, ‘Away Laughing on a Fast Camel’)
…Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers
Startled by his furry shorts
Luuurve is a Many Trousered Thing (In USA, ‘Love is a Many Trousered Thing’)
Stop in the Name of Pants!
Anyways, so reading the Confession books, I discovered a whole new way of life. Seriously, her vocabulary alone is completely out there. I leant Corinne one of the books durig roll call last week, and she couldn’t understand half of it (:L). Sure the books have the occasional “sheer bonkerosity” or “red-bottomosity”, but they are VERY good, and worth the read. Here, I’ll be mean/cool, and give you guys a teaser of ‘Dancing in My Nuddy Pants’ (opening paragraph):
“I’ve just seen a sparrow quite literally washed off its perch on a tree. It should have had its umbrella up. But even if it had had its umbrella up, it might have slipped on a wet leaf and crashed into a passing squirrel. That’s what life is like. Well, that’s what my life is like.”
Look, ok, I'm at camp and I have nothing else to post about :P
Sunday, 16 November 2008
LOVEactually
STOP… wait a second… damn you missed it.
I was happy!
Like full on, goofy smile happy!!
Yeah, it went away. Now I’m content. But I was happy, for, like a split second. I love that I'm happy, I love that HE made me smile by saying we're just friends. Man, I LOVE being happy.
Hmm, I actually want to blog about Love Actually, but then I went all happy and interrupted myself. But it’s okay, I forgive myself.
You know, I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but Love Actually is the world’s most coolest movie. You know why? Cuz it doesn’t have a happy ending. Wait, no, it doesn’t have a PERFECT ending.
Cuz they guy whose secretary loved him even though he was married still doesn’t have a perfect relationship with his wife.
And the guy who fell in love with his best friend’s wife still doesn’t have her, even though he thinks she’s perfect.
And the guy who is a ‘has-been’ has realised that he’ll never find love whilst he’s got his manager, and he’ll never have another hit song.
And the guy whose wife died at the beginning of the movie is still never gonna be the same
But through all of that, it’s happy. People smile, and people laugh. It’s not perfect; it’s a lifetime away from perfect. But everyone can still be happy.
I LOVE that movie!! <3
I was happy!
Like full on, goofy smile happy!!
Yeah, it went away. Now I’m content. But I was happy, for, like a split second. I love that I'm happy, I love that HE made me smile by saying we're just friends. Man, I LOVE being happy.
Hmm, I actually want to blog about Love Actually, but then I went all happy and interrupted myself. But it’s okay, I forgive myself.
You know, I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but Love Actually is the world’s most coolest movie. You know why? Cuz it doesn’t have a happy ending. Wait, no, it doesn’t have a PERFECT ending.
Cuz they guy whose secretary loved him even though he was married still doesn’t have a perfect relationship with his wife.
And the guy who fell in love with his best friend’s wife still doesn’t have her, even though he thinks she’s perfect.
And the guy who is a ‘has-been’ has realised that he’ll never find love whilst he’s got his manager, and he’ll never have another hit song.
And the guy whose wife died at the beginning of the movie is still never gonna be the same
But through all of that, it’s happy. People smile, and people laugh. It’s not perfect; it’s a lifetime away from perfect. But everyone can still be happy.
I LOVE that movie!! <3
Saturday, 15 November 2008
Surviving Myself
6 words: Laugh loud, dance retardly, don't care – march hiker chik94
Ok, I know, I know, I’m directing you guys to all kinds of sites, introducing you to 6 word memoirs and CleverGirlGoesBlog, and even linking you to Postsecret. But I have an addition to make to that growing list.
His name is Chris. And he is a fabulousamundo poster from Surviving Myself. Now, I know you guys are probably too lazy to just check out that link, so I’m gonna try and put as many teasers here as possible so that you start to read the blog everyday, just to see if he’s written something funny, become obsessed, like me! (Y) {{each teaser is linked to the full blogpost}}
OK then
1. Osama must’ve been one hell of a Hide n’ Seek player as a boy, one of those kids who would hide so well that you’d eventually just give up and go home for dinner
2. I do not like goodbyes, in the “I’m too lazy to say bye” kind of way. Instead of acting like A Normal Person and saying a quick “see you later” to all who are with me, I simply bolt for the nearest exit, disappearing into the night like a crackhead stealing a pair of socks.
3. I like to consider myself The Best Driver In America. I don’t even use my blinkers because I change lanes so swiftly that they are a waste of my time. You’ll be sitting there, still marveling how we “Made amazing time!” when suddenly we’ll be parked perfectly
4. *talking bout wheres wally* Think about what it must be like to be friends with that guy.You’re hanging out, having a good time, you turn your back for a second and the dude is gone. AND he always wears the same damn clothes. What’s he trying to do - be funny?
5. I am an expert Uno player. The best? Perhaps. Better than you? I would bet my first born on it. Come and challenge me if you feel you have the skills, but I must warn you, it will not end well for you.
6. I don’t know if you realize this or not, but there are men out there at this very moment with their shirts tucked into their underwear. I was alerted to this phenomenon this morning when I was getting ready to leave the gym. I looked up from tying my shoes and there was a guy stuffing his shirt into his underwear. I wonder what exactly this person’s life entails that it made him decide that an extra layer of security was absolutely necessary to keep his shirt in line. Maybe this person just gives an inordinate amount of high fives.
7. Well, it’s official. I’m getting dumber. I’ve thought this for awhile, specifically because I can’t seem to do simple division. But now that there has been a study released stating that drinking shrinks your brain, I have all the proof I need.
So go check out awesome Chris’ page. Go on! You know you want to.
Ok, I know, I know, I’m directing you guys to all kinds of sites, introducing you to 6 word memoirs and CleverGirlGoesBlog, and even linking you to Postsecret. But I have an addition to make to that growing list.
His name is Chris. And he is a fabulousamundo poster from Surviving Myself. Now, I know you guys are probably too lazy to just check out that link, so I’m gonna try and put as many teasers here as possible so that you start to read the blog everyday, just to see if he’s written something funny, become obsessed, like me! (Y) {{each teaser is linked to the full blogpost}}
OK then
1. Osama must’ve been one hell of a Hide n’ Seek player as a boy, one of those kids who would hide so well that you’d eventually just give up and go home for dinner
2. I do not like goodbyes, in the “I’m too lazy to say bye” kind of way. Instead of acting like A Normal Person and saying a quick “see you later” to all who are with me, I simply bolt for the nearest exit, disappearing into the night like a crackhead stealing a pair of socks.
3. I like to consider myself The Best Driver In America. I don’t even use my blinkers because I change lanes so swiftly that they are a waste of my time. You’ll be sitting there, still marveling how we “Made amazing time!” when suddenly we’ll be parked perfectly
4. *talking bout wheres wally* Think about what it must be like to be friends with that guy.You’re hanging out, having a good time, you turn your back for a second and the dude is gone. AND he always wears the same damn clothes. What’s he trying to do - be funny?
5. I am an expert Uno player. The best? Perhaps. Better than you? I would bet my first born on it. Come and challenge me if you feel you have the skills, but I must warn you, it will not end well for you.
6. I don’t know if you realize this or not, but there are men out there at this very moment with their shirts tucked into their underwear. I was alerted to this phenomenon this morning when I was getting ready to leave the gym. I looked up from tying my shoes and there was a guy stuffing his shirt into his underwear. I wonder what exactly this person’s life entails that it made him decide that an extra layer of security was absolutely necessary to keep his shirt in line. Maybe this person just gives an inordinate amount of high fives.
7. Well, it’s official. I’m getting dumber. I’ve thought this for awhile, specifically because I can’t seem to do simple division. But now that there has been a study released stating that drinking shrinks your brain, I have all the proof I need.
So go check out awesome Chris’ page. Go on! You know you want to.
Friday, 14 November 2008
141108
Attention ppls in 9M/E:
you know how we share our link period, yeah?
well this arvo, shiri/aash/hunaiza and me was talking on the bus about 9E/R class swapping todays, and we thought, why dont we turn up for the wrong periods for link?
just to annoy the hell outta kearney!!
cuz he always has the wrong roll anyway :L, and we like aggrevating him =D.
you in?? well talk more later, but it seems like a fun idea :)
Attention all year niners:
if kearney brings his pink/blue stripey shirt on camp, will you guys help me burn it???
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i said id blog happy on the weekend, so ive still got one day left.
but today, i realised, i am happy.
i dont care which option is right or wrong, im just gonna follow my heart, and let the chips fall as they may.
today, i shall begin my happy blogs, with more about the 6 word teen communtity.
yeah, i know, i know, im getting annoying, but i love these guys so much.
so here a some 6worders:
I'm smarter than your average nut. - coulda.been.a.comet
Not shooting star, just a plane - coula.been.a.comet
My Prince Charmings' around here somewhere... - soulcages
Reading Twilight; A Novel Experience (Chuckle.) - soulcages
Meet online, love before first sight – ivealwayslovedher
Rejection taught me to love myself. - small and on a search
Didn't fit in. Stopped wanting to. – coulda.been.a.comet
Never thought it would be you. – iamaspen
Even I don't completely understand me. – ThinkTink7
ok, thats it. :)
on a side note:
I guess, I never before realised how much the smithteen society relied on each other. I mean, sure, we’re there for each other, and we write for each other, but we’re also so close. We pick each other up. Although we have our most prominent writers (e.g. Bubbles, October, coulda.been.a.comet), we have other writers too (e.g. the 3 people I inspired to create accounts) and we all comment, and support each other. We’ve become a sort of family. I’m beginning to get worried that I’ll run out of words, and end up with nothing to share. I’ll rely on their words to get me through, just like some dormant writers rely on ours. I want to be able to give, as well as take. I’m so glad I’ve got them.
Now guys, for real, if you’re relying on my supply of 6wordmemoirs, STOP! Go to the site! Even if you’re just there for 5 minutes, you’ll become inspired. Create an account! We can always use more writers… unless you’re shit (:L), but if you mean it, and you feel it, we will too. (I LOVE being part of a “we”). Please go, seriously, leave! I only give you the 6worders that apply to my situations, so take some initiative, and go find some words that apply to you. You’ll find out that you’re not alone, and it’s an incredible feeling.
you know how we share our link period, yeah?
well this arvo, shiri/aash/hunaiza and me was talking on the bus about 9E/R class swapping todays, and we thought, why dont we turn up for the wrong periods for link?
just to annoy the hell outta kearney!!
cuz he always has the wrong roll anyway :L, and we like aggrevating him =D.
you in?? well talk more later, but it seems like a fun idea :)
Attention all year niners:
if kearney brings his pink/blue stripey shirt on camp, will you guys help me burn it???
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i said id blog happy on the weekend, so ive still got one day left.
but today, i realised, i am happy.
i dont care which option is right or wrong, im just gonna follow my heart, and let the chips fall as they may.
today, i shall begin my happy blogs, with more about the 6 word teen communtity.
yeah, i know, i know, im getting annoying, but i love these guys so much.
so here a some 6worders:
I'm smarter than your average nut. - coulda.been.a.comet
Not shooting star, just a plane - coula.been.a.comet
My Prince Charmings' around here somewhere... - soulcages
Reading Twilight; A Novel Experience (Chuckle.) - soulcages
Meet online, love before first sight – ivealwayslovedher
Rejection taught me to love myself. - small and on a search
Didn't fit in. Stopped wanting to. – coulda.been.a.comet
Never thought it would be you. – iamaspen
Even I don't completely understand me. – ThinkTink7
ok, thats it. :)
on a side note:
I guess, I never before realised how much the smithteen society relied on each other. I mean, sure, we’re there for each other, and we write for each other, but we’re also so close. We pick each other up. Although we have our most prominent writers (e.g. Bubbles, October, coulda.been.a.comet), we have other writers too (e.g. the 3 people I inspired to create accounts) and we all comment, and support each other. We’ve become a sort of family. I’m beginning to get worried that I’ll run out of words, and end up with nothing to share. I’ll rely on their words to get me through, just like some dormant writers rely on ours. I want to be able to give, as well as take. I’m so glad I’ve got them.
Now guys, for real, if you’re relying on my supply of 6wordmemoirs, STOP! Go to the site! Even if you’re just there for 5 minutes, you’ll become inspired. Create an account! We can always use more writers… unless you’re shit (:L), but if you mean it, and you feel it, we will too. (I LOVE being part of a “we”). Please go, seriously, leave! I only give you the 6worders that apply to my situations, so take some initiative, and go find some words that apply to you. You’ll find out that you’re not alone, and it’s an incredible feeling.
Thursday, 13 November 2008
Amazed
I know this song probably still reminds you of her. But to me, this song will only ever be you.
I know I don’t usually blog with only song lyrics. But to me, this song is a special exception.
It requires no more introduction; it is perfection.
Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you
The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time, every time
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes
Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you
I know I don’t usually blog with only song lyrics. But to me, this song is a special exception.
It requires no more introduction; it is perfection.
Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you
The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me
Baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time, every time
I want to spend the whole night in your eyes
Every little thing that you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you
Almost happy?
honestly, learning your lesson is overrated - coulda.been.a.comet
ive been doing a lot of thinking about right and wrong.
still not sure which is which
moreover, i know which is whichi just wish it wasnt so
I remember you. I miss you - J600y
so, i havent made a decision
thinking that maybe i can will things to change
and the wrong decision can suddenly become right
Screw endings. Looking for my middle - WeirdLoveSynonymous
because i want it to
i need it to
i cant leave it how it is
eventually, things must be resolved.
Through it all, I'm NOT broken - skyye
i promise that sometime this weekend i will blog about something fun
i have some things lined up
like, exam marks!
and, a cool new blog i found
and more 6 word memoirs
and i have heaps more postsecrets
and im maybe getting a job (interview this arvo)
and more on NaBloPoMo2008 (as well as how ill keep posting during camp)
and CAMP!! when i get back
and some sort of commemoration for my 69th blog (=D)
so sometime this weekend (ok, maybe next week), ill show you guys all that stuff
laters!
ive been doing a lot of thinking about right and wrong.
still not sure which is which
moreover, i know which is whichi just wish it wasnt so
I remember you. I miss you - J600y
so, i havent made a decision
thinking that maybe i can will things to change
and the wrong decision can suddenly become right
Screw endings. Looking for my middle - WeirdLoveSynonymous
because i want it to
i need it to
i cant leave it how it is
eventually, things must be resolved.
Through it all, I'm NOT broken - skyye
i promise that sometime this weekend i will blog about something fun
i have some things lined up
like, exam marks!
and, a cool new blog i found
and more 6 word memoirs
and i have heaps more postsecrets
and im maybe getting a job (interview this arvo)
and more on NaBloPoMo2008 (as well as how ill keep posting during camp)
and CAMP!! when i get back
and some sort of commemoration for my 69th blog (=D)
so sometime this weekend (ok, maybe next week), ill show you guys all that stuff
laters!
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Happy, almost.
Feeling controlled by this addictive website. – ionlywrotefive
i add memoirs to my blogs far too often.
i check the site hourly.
im CRAZY!!
and addicted.
and finally, not alone =)
make me smile. i DARE you. - ionlywrotefive
i guess i got worse again today. my friends weren't enough to make me happy.
even though i had them for the whole day.
i had too much spare time.
thing about exercise is - it occupies your body, but leaves your mind wandering
life sucks. so we eat cookies – justkharp
im only writing this as a distraction.
if i think, ill get upset. and i dont know how much more i can handle.
"don't think" everyone says that. and sure, it's helpful, just not always possible
ive moved on to daydreaming...
STOP THINKING!!!
cant write if i dont think.
dont know what to do.
post secret??
you been there
more than six words, use postesecret - (can't remember, read it a while ago)
ok, here let me tell you about it.
if you have a secret you wish to share.
you mail it to Frank, on the back of a postcard.
and he puts it on his website.
and then everyone reads people's secrets.
ngaw. and they all live happily ever after.
it's very similar to 6-words, but not just teens, so there isnt the same feeling of community
plus, you can use however many words you want.
it's really quite clever.
Here are some demo postsecret cards. Enjoy!
i add memoirs to my blogs far too often.
i check the site hourly.
im CRAZY!!
and addicted.
and finally, not alone =)
make me smile. i DARE you. - ionlywrotefive
i guess i got worse again today. my friends weren't enough to make me happy.
even though i had them for the whole day.
i had too much spare time.
thing about exercise is - it occupies your body, but leaves your mind wandering
life sucks. so we eat cookies – justkharp
im only writing this as a distraction.
if i think, ill get upset. and i dont know how much more i can handle.
"don't think" everyone says that. and sure, it's helpful, just not always possible
ive moved on to daydreaming...
STOP THINKING!!!
cant write if i dont think.
dont know what to do.
post secret??
you been there
more than six words, use postesecret - (can't remember, read it a while ago)
ok, here let me tell you about it.
if you have a secret you wish to share.
you mail it to Frank, on the back of a postcard.
and he puts it on his website.
and then everyone reads people's secrets.
ngaw. and they all live happily ever after.
it's very similar to 6-words, but not just teens, so there isnt the same feeling of community
plus, you can use however many words you want.
it's really quite clever.
Here are some demo postsecret cards. Enjoy!
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
don't bother.
Everyday I check my email. Over and over and over again. I’m excited when I see I have emails, and then disappointed when they’re not from you. What was I expecting? For you to suddenly say – ‘you know what? You were right, I was wrong, I’m sorry’ – Or – ‘I lied to you, my bad, I’ve never done it before and I’ll never do it again’ – or – ‘maybe we do belong together’ – I sound so desperate, and so stupid, and everything’s just making it worse.
And yet, I feel I have to have a least a little bit of happiness in my blog, cuz after all; I’m doing better than yesterday, right?
So here is a quick overview of my thoughts from this morning.
Self actualisation…
Let’s break that down.
Physical/security needs
Tick and tick! How could I have a problem in this area??
Relationship needs
I have the ninja-est kick-ass friends in the world. My family are all a-okay! My class is getting closer, bonding a bit. My music/maths/IPT class are becoming more familiar, nd people are talking cross room instead of just to their group.
Self-esteem needs
Alas, the happiness of the blog has ended. Because, sure, my self-esteem was right on track, say, last week? But just go along with this hypothetical for a second: Okay, you know this person who never lies, like seriously. Ok, maybe the occasional ‘oh yeah, I’m fine’, but aside from that, Nada! They’re not afraid to hurt you, as long as you know the truth. And they tell you you are amazing. More than that, you’re not a mean person, you’re not a bad person, they tell you things that make you feel good. You believe them, you trust their honesty (OK, so you guys all know how this will end, but just bear with me). And then one day they tell you something that you KNOW isn’t true. It’s just flat out, indisputably a lie. And you discover, they’re just as good a bullshit artist as the next person. Suddenly you realize that everything was a lie, what now? Do you still go along with the idea that you’re a good person, or do you start to listen to the people who can easily identify your flaws? What if everything you believed as true is suddenly a pretence, and everything you treasures ma as well not have existed?
Guys, please don’t feel sorry for me, because I don’t need your sympathy. I’ve surpassed pain, and moved on to anger.
I know that this blog means very little to everyone who will read it. And it means everything to the one person I wish I had the guts to tell about it.
I’m sorry that I’m too much of a coward, and that you have to read through all these blogs I’m writing, simply because I need to vent. I should be writing about CAMP!!!! My birthday, a whole bunch of new, awesome blogs I’ve found. More 6-word memoirs. POST SECRET! I should be making this as fun as possible, or even just writing about my day at school.
But I have to write this somewhere.
I’ve been through this before, but I wrote everything in my diary. I’ve sort of given up on that aside from very small secrets.
I know none of this shit should be here, and if you start reading again, and it’s about ‘him’, you really can just go do something more productive (Have I mentioned 6 word memoirs??).
I’m sorry, but this has to be written, and has to be read. Because it is felt.
And yet, I feel I have to have a least a little bit of happiness in my blog, cuz after all; I’m doing better than yesterday, right?
So here is a quick overview of my thoughts from this morning.
Self actualisation…
Let’s break that down.
Physical/security needs
Tick and tick! How could I have a problem in this area??
Relationship needs
I have the ninja-est kick-ass friends in the world. My family are all a-okay! My class is getting closer, bonding a bit. My music/maths/IPT class are becoming more familiar, nd people are talking cross room instead of just to their group.
Self-esteem needs
Alas, the happiness of the blog has ended. Because, sure, my self-esteem was right on track, say, last week? But just go along with this hypothetical for a second: Okay, you know this person who never lies, like seriously. Ok, maybe the occasional ‘oh yeah, I’m fine’, but aside from that, Nada! They’re not afraid to hurt you, as long as you know the truth. And they tell you you are amazing. More than that, you’re not a mean person, you’re not a bad person, they tell you things that make you feel good. You believe them, you trust their honesty (OK, so you guys all know how this will end, but just bear with me). And then one day they tell you something that you KNOW isn’t true. It’s just flat out, indisputably a lie. And you discover, they’re just as good a bullshit artist as the next person. Suddenly you realize that everything was a lie, what now? Do you still go along with the idea that you’re a good person, or do you start to listen to the people who can easily identify your flaws? What if everything you believed as true is suddenly a pretence, and everything you treasures ma as well not have existed?
Guys, please don’t feel sorry for me, because I don’t need your sympathy. I’ve surpassed pain, and moved on to anger.
I know that this blog means very little to everyone who will read it. And it means everything to the one person I wish I had the guts to tell about it.
I’m sorry that I’m too much of a coward, and that you have to read through all these blogs I’m writing, simply because I need to vent. I should be writing about CAMP!!!! My birthday, a whole bunch of new, awesome blogs I’ve found. More 6-word memoirs. POST SECRET! I should be making this as fun as possible, or even just writing about my day at school.
But I have to write this somewhere.
I’ve been through this before, but I wrote everything in my diary. I’ve sort of given up on that aside from very small secrets.
I know none of this shit should be here, and if you start reading again, and it’s about ‘him’, you really can just go do something more productive (Have I mentioned 6 word memoirs??).
I’m sorry, but this has to be written, and has to be read. Because it is felt.
(im)maturity
its so weird to see all my friends go through these phases i went through years ago...
like, going all emo, wondering why we bother with life.
admittedly i was a little too immature to deal with that one when it came up
it surprises me that other people have only just come across it.
like, caving in, completely imploding.
thoughts scattered, not that they matter
breakdowns over little things
like, a journey of selfdiscovery
who am i? describe me!
i asked my friends that when i was 10
all they could do was joke...they were too immature to deal with that one
like, losing a best friend
that happened to me in year 3
i guess its why i left my first primary
or at least, thats the real reason
huh. never told anyone that before...
ANYWAYS, the point is...
i truly thought i was immature
that i was behind everyone else, cuz im not really 'teenager'y
buh... its just that ive been there... done that (got the Tshirt!)
so, im not saying im mature (LOL!) or anything
ive just... experienced things...
omgsh, this isnt making sense cuz i cant say what i wanna say, cuz itll sound... stupid/desperate
point is im cool. end of story.
like, going all emo, wondering why we bother with life.
admittedly i was a little too immature to deal with that one when it came up
it surprises me that other people have only just come across it.
like, caving in, completely imploding.
thoughts scattered, not that they matter
breakdowns over little things
like, a journey of selfdiscovery
who am i? describe me!
i asked my friends that when i was 10
all they could do was joke...they were too immature to deal with that one
like, losing a best friend
that happened to me in year 3
i guess its why i left my first primary
or at least, thats the real reason
huh. never told anyone that before...
ANYWAYS, the point is...
i truly thought i was immature
that i was behind everyone else, cuz im not really 'teenager'y
buh... its just that ive been there... done that (got the Tshirt!)
so, im not saying im mature (LOL!) or anything
ive just... experienced things...
omgsh, this isnt making sense cuz i cant say what i wanna say, cuz itll sound... stupid/desperate
point is im cool. end of story.
only thoughts in my head.
Really hope I don't love you - ThrivingViolet
Ok, so I was looking at my bebo profile, yeah? And it has this module that asks all these questions. One of them was ‘have you ever been in love?’ my answer ‘once’…
!!!
What the hell? 1. I don't remember even writing that, and 2. Who was I talking about??? I’m really curious now. Everytime I’m in my right mind (i.e. I haven’t watched movie/read book/spoken to any one for an hour)(empathy thing), I seriously counsel myself about love, and the distinct difference between like and love. So, what? Was I just not thinking straight or did I truly believe I’d been in love? Was I? Have I ever been? And if so, with who??
… once
How useless!! What about ‘once… and his/her(in case of MW) name is…’
-------------
I don't think like everyone else. – bsb633
I smiled a lot today. I don’t know whether I was truly happy or just pretending to be. Even when I smiled, I felt this wave of sadness when people asked about you/him/yesterday.
I’ve written about a hundred million memoirs in the past 24 hours, wither in a notebook or on my phone. Most, I’ll never publish… but it’s stuff I’m thinking.
I’m still driving myself insane by overthinking things, but I can smile and laugh with raw honesty. It’s not perfection, and it’s probably not happiness… but I’m a damn sight better than yesterday.
Ok, so I was looking at my bebo profile, yeah? And it has this module that asks all these questions. One of them was ‘have you ever been in love?’ my answer ‘once’…
!!!
What the hell? 1. I don't remember even writing that, and 2. Who was I talking about??? I’m really curious now. Everytime I’m in my right mind (i.e. I haven’t watched movie/read book/spoken to any one for an hour)(empathy thing), I seriously counsel myself about love, and the distinct difference between like and love. So, what? Was I just not thinking straight or did I truly believe I’d been in love? Was I? Have I ever been? And if so, with who??
… once
How useless!! What about ‘once… and his/her(in case of MW) name is…’
-------------
I don't think like everyone else. – bsb633
I smiled a lot today. I don’t know whether I was truly happy or just pretending to be. Even when I smiled, I felt this wave of sadness when people asked about you/him/yesterday.
I’ve written about a hundred million memoirs in the past 24 hours, wither in a notebook or on my phone. Most, I’ll never publish… but it’s stuff I’m thinking.
I’m still driving myself insane by overthinking things, but I can smile and laugh with raw honesty. It’s not perfection, and it’s probably not happiness… but I’m a damn sight better than yesterday.
Monday, 10 November 2008
trying not to overthink it.
Do you think about me too? - coulda.been.a.comet
well i certainly think that deserves a round of applause.
in the past 24 hours i have managed to single handedly push away everyone close to me in the world.
congratulations.
Truth be told, I need you - To.Much.Not.Enuff
i have all these free periods today. music... english... i guess someone upstairs was trying to tell me i needed some thinking time. i didnt exactly listen.
in fact, as much as i wanted to think. i refused to let myself. because what i want and what i need seem to always be exact opposites when it comes to particular facets of my life.
This is how it always begins - October
so i refused myself what i wanted, and figured what i needed must be the only alternative.
i didnt think.
i spoke, of stupid, useless things, that almost held my concentration, but i didnt think.
Basically, my life's way too confusing - StarlightSailing
and then finally, walking home from drama this afternoon, i faced the music, and let it have me. in the 2.5 minutes it took me to walk down that street, i had successfully driven myself completely to breaking point. i just wanted to screem (aside form the fact that i was in a crowded street). and i was probably just about to.
and then, the person upstairs who id been ignoring all day, realised tat i was right, and i should definatly be prohibited from all thoughts. and around the corner drove my dad, my saviour. i stopped thinking again.
To Do: Find more distractions - J600y
and i have tried extraordinarily hard to not think for the duration of the evening.
alas, my mum decided that dinner tonight should be a quiet affair. no talking allowed. and oh what brilliant timing you have too, mother. (of course, timing never has been your strong point, has it?)
i kept talking, however, and was sent to my room. way to make me feel 5 mum, thats soo what i need right now.
Can I have my smile back? - Madds
so, i had no choice but to think. (or talk to myself which i did for 15 minutes before i exhausted all conversation topics). think, i did. i thought abaout everything, and it only took about 3 seconds, so i thought about everything over and over and over again, until everything hurt even more than it had in the first place.
but, then again, what more did i expect? that suddenly everything would be fine, just because ive been avoiding it?
I choose to express through quotes - coulda.been.a.comet
well i certainly think that deserves a round of applause.
in the past 24 hours i have managed to single handedly push away everyone close to me in the world.
congratulations.
Truth be told, I need you - To.Much.Not.Enuff
i have all these free periods today. music... english... i guess someone upstairs was trying to tell me i needed some thinking time. i didnt exactly listen.
in fact, as much as i wanted to think. i refused to let myself. because what i want and what i need seem to always be exact opposites when it comes to particular facets of my life.
This is how it always begins - October
so i refused myself what i wanted, and figured what i needed must be the only alternative.
i didnt think.
i spoke, of stupid, useless things, that almost held my concentration, but i didnt think.
Basically, my life's way too confusing - StarlightSailing
and then finally, walking home from drama this afternoon, i faced the music, and let it have me. in the 2.5 minutes it took me to walk down that street, i had successfully driven myself completely to breaking point. i just wanted to screem (aside form the fact that i was in a crowded street). and i was probably just about to.
and then, the person upstairs who id been ignoring all day, realised tat i was right, and i should definatly be prohibited from all thoughts. and around the corner drove my dad, my saviour. i stopped thinking again.
To Do: Find more distractions - J600y
and i have tried extraordinarily hard to not think for the duration of the evening.
alas, my mum decided that dinner tonight should be a quiet affair. no talking allowed. and oh what brilliant timing you have too, mother. (of course, timing never has been your strong point, has it?)
i kept talking, however, and was sent to my room. way to make me feel 5 mum, thats soo what i need right now.
Can I have my smile back? - Madds
so, i had no choice but to think. (or talk to myself which i did for 15 minutes before i exhausted all conversation topics). think, i did. i thought abaout everything, and it only took about 3 seconds, so i thought about everything over and over and over again, until everything hurt even more than it had in the first place.
but, then again, what more did i expect? that suddenly everything would be fine, just because ive been avoiding it?
I choose to express through quotes - coulda.been.a.comet
This should be on bebo
I don’t want you guys to read this.
But I’m too scared to put it on my bebo blog, because it means more to people that read that blog than it does to you. Maybe more than it does to me.
So read it if you want, but don’t read too much into it.
I just need to vent…
Too hard. Much too hard. I don't know what I think or why I think it. Angel, devil, right, wrong…neither of them care!!! I don’t get it! I don't get you, I don't get me, and more importantly, I don’t get how I feel about you. Or him... But I don't care how I feel about him!! Do I?? I'll figure out that, once I’ve figure out you.
I've been so out of it all day. People ask me what's wrong, I tell them it's a "personal thing" (thanks Jenny :)) which is true, I guess, but come on!! I have no life other than this. I've never had a life at the same time as you, I have to prioritise. But why do you always come first?
I don't want you to, not anymore. I hate so much that I feel like this. Not just the confusion, but also the falling for you all over again... because of a stupid song!! You did nothing; I did nothing; what changed???
But I’m too scared to put it on my bebo blog, because it means more to people that read that blog than it does to you. Maybe more than it does to me.
So read it if you want, but don’t read too much into it.
I just need to vent…
Too hard. Much too hard. I don't know what I think or why I think it. Angel, devil, right, wrong…neither of them care!!! I don’t get it! I don't get you, I don't get me, and more importantly, I don’t get how I feel about you. Or him... But I don't care how I feel about him!! Do I?? I'll figure out that, once I’ve figure out you.
I've been so out of it all day. People ask me what's wrong, I tell them it's a "personal thing" (thanks Jenny :)) which is true, I guess, but come on!! I have no life other than this. I've never had a life at the same time as you, I have to prioritise. But why do you always come first?
I don't want you to, not anymore. I hate so much that I feel like this. Not just the confusion, but also the falling for you all over again... because of a stupid song!! You did nothing; I did nothing; what changed???
Sunday, 9 November 2008
Empathy/I'm sorry.
Luke Moore.
Awesomely awesome main guy.
He’s intriguing.
Partly because he’s never defined, and partly because he is awesomely awesome.
Loosely based around every guy I’ve ever liked (included fictional characters), some more than others.
Physical description: Very similar to Elle. Short brown hair and soft brown eyes. Slightly above average height. Beautiful, but only if you look hard enough.
Emotional description: Very aware of surrounding people’s thoughts/feelings which highly influence him. Empathetic. But very closed. Finds it hard to express his feelings.
Social description: Has a best bud Hayden who’s pretty cool. They tell each other most everything, but mainly have heaps of fun together.
-----------------------------------------------------
6 words: I cry daily now. so pathetic. – cornn
Empathy.
My problem is empathy.
This is why I was so depressed whilst reading new moon. This is why I was all lovey dovey after reading breaking dawn. This why, when I was little, and I had lists of ‘reasons to stay alive’, one of the reasons was “Feeling happy, like after a movie” (because movies finish happy, and thus, I am happy). This is why I love being around people who are happy. This is why I felt all confessional last Thursday at drama J
Because I am empathetic. Because, whatever people around me are feeling, I feel it too. I feed off vibes. It’s what I do.
Like some of you peoples know (and some are about to find out), I am the most sensitive person in the world. EVERY SINGLE movie I watch, I cry. My claim to fame: I cried during Happy Feet. Even books. First book I cried in – Rainbow Fish. I was very happy that he was unselfish enough to share his scales. After that, books like Anne of Green Gables (when Matthew died), The Land Of Blue Mountains (when the dog gave up his heart for the little girl), the shitty Kitty book we read for English (all through parts 2 and 3, the book was boring! Still don’t know why I cried) and, of course, the Twilight Saga. I’m getting worse as I get older (did you hear about happy feat? The leopard seal was chasing the penguin, oh shiz!), I’ve started crying listening to songs, yes I am that sad.
So, all this time I’ve spent being overly sensitive, I’ve thought I was a freak. (OK, I’ve KNOWN I was a freak). But mum has always told me “Never be ashamed of being sensitive” (I know, I know, it sounds like “mummy says I’m special no matter what the other kids say”), and, until recently, I never have been.
But in the last few years, it has really become unbearable. I cry every ANZAC day, even before we see people marching, I think “wow, all these amazing people were willing to give up their lives, just for us” and snap, I’m bawling (yes, I am crying, after having written that).
I don’t want to be that person anymore. As much as I love being in touch with my emotions, it really makes life unbearable. Everytime I talk to someone who is upset, I feel it too. It does, occasionally, make me good at giving advice. I’m normally good at understanding two sides of a story, and I’m usually fair. (Unless one side is better for me, then I can be bias).
Lately I’m getting less empathetic and more sensitive. Things hurt me so much that other people’s problems, by comparison, are dulled. I feel like I’m not there for people, because I can’t understand them. I can’t understand why they make big deals out of little things.
Big(ish) things are going on with me right now. But big things are going on with other people too, I guess, I’m trying to say: I’m sorry if I haven’t been there for you, and I apologise in advance for how distracted I’ll be in the next few days until I figure out… well… everything.
I love my friends, especially the ones who read my blogs ;). You guys rock my socks! Just put up with me for a bit, okay? :)
Awesomely awesome main guy.
He’s intriguing.
Partly because he’s never defined, and partly because he is awesomely awesome.
Loosely based around every guy I’ve ever liked (included fictional characters), some more than others.
Physical description: Very similar to Elle. Short brown hair and soft brown eyes. Slightly above average height. Beautiful, but only if you look hard enough.
Emotional description: Very aware of surrounding people’s thoughts/feelings which highly influence him. Empathetic. But very closed. Finds it hard to express his feelings.
Social description: Has a best bud Hayden who’s pretty cool. They tell each other most everything, but mainly have heaps of fun together.
-----------------------------------------------------
6 words: I cry daily now. so pathetic. – cornn
Empathy.
My problem is empathy.
This is why I was so depressed whilst reading new moon. This is why I was all lovey dovey after reading breaking dawn. This why, when I was little, and I had lists of ‘reasons to stay alive’, one of the reasons was “Feeling happy, like after a movie” (because movies finish happy, and thus, I am happy). This is why I love being around people who are happy. This is why I felt all confessional last Thursday at drama J
Because I am empathetic. Because, whatever people around me are feeling, I feel it too. I feed off vibes. It’s what I do.
Like some of you peoples know (and some are about to find out), I am the most sensitive person in the world. EVERY SINGLE movie I watch, I cry. My claim to fame: I cried during Happy Feet. Even books. First book I cried in – Rainbow Fish. I was very happy that he was unselfish enough to share his scales. After that, books like Anne of Green Gables (when Matthew died), The Land Of Blue Mountains (when the dog gave up his heart for the little girl), the shitty Kitty book we read for English (all through parts 2 and 3, the book was boring! Still don’t know why I cried) and, of course, the Twilight Saga. I’m getting worse as I get older (did you hear about happy feat? The leopard seal was chasing the penguin, oh shiz!), I’ve started crying listening to songs, yes I am that sad.
So, all this time I’ve spent being overly sensitive, I’ve thought I was a freak. (OK, I’ve KNOWN I was a freak). But mum has always told me “Never be ashamed of being sensitive” (I know, I know, it sounds like “mummy says I’m special no matter what the other kids say”), and, until recently, I never have been.
But in the last few years, it has really become unbearable. I cry every ANZAC day, even before we see people marching, I think “wow, all these amazing people were willing to give up their lives, just for us” and snap, I’m bawling (yes, I am crying, after having written that).
I don’t want to be that person anymore. As much as I love being in touch with my emotions, it really makes life unbearable. Everytime I talk to someone who is upset, I feel it too. It does, occasionally, make me good at giving advice. I’m normally good at understanding two sides of a story, and I’m usually fair. (Unless one side is better for me, then I can be bias).
Lately I’m getting less empathetic and more sensitive. Things hurt me so much that other people’s problems, by comparison, are dulled. I feel like I’m not there for people, because I can’t understand them. I can’t understand why they make big deals out of little things.
Big(ish) things are going on with me right now. But big things are going on with other people too, I guess, I’m trying to say: I’m sorry if I haven’t been there for you, and I apologise in advance for how distracted I’ll be in the next few days until I figure out… well… everything.
I love my friends, especially the ones who read my blogs ;). You guys rock my socks! Just put up with me for a bit, okay? :)
Saturday, 8 November 2008
08-11-08
OK, my story at the top of my blogs can only go so far before I actually give the characters names.
So, as of today, I am going to write character profiles for the main characters
Elle Scott (you have no idea it took me to come up with that name!)
Main character – story is told from her perspective.
Lives with mother (Rebecca), father (Andrew), younger sister (Chloe) and pet dog – Jack.
Loosely based around me - very, very loosely. As in, almost not even there, and yet, I bothered mentioning it, so there to some extent.
Physical description: Very, very average. Medium brown, shoulder length hair. Medium height. Brown eyes – very expressive. She’s nice looking, not overly gorgeous or anything, just, pleasant – it’s very humbling. (:L)
Emotional description: She knows what’s going on – intuitive, if you will. She finds herself easily hurt, but she can always figure out a way to fix it. She has a hot temper, hot in that it is harsh, but it takes a lot for her to lose it.
Social description: Has one main friend whom you will meet later as she doesn’t have a name yet. Socialises well with other people – but appreciates time spent alone.
Stay tuned for a desciption of Luke Moore.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 1’s 6 words: Nothing more beautiful than broken, right? – coulda.been.a.comet
A lot of people around me have been broken lately.
And a lot of people in my life have broken others.
I guess, I’m just sick of it.
I don’t understand why people can’t just get along, why everything is complex.
I don’t understand why people blame themselves for things they didn’t do.
I don’t understand why people can’t talk it out, and fix it.
I don’t understand why people assume things of others without checking if it’s true.
Why do people think they know better? They don’t!
“You don’t understand cuz you’re not me”
Yeah, but I’ve been you. I know you think that I’m stupid and I don’t understand anything, but I’ve seen it all.
I’ve seen friends drift apart because of boys, exam marks, parents, and other friends. I’ve seen people fight because of misunderstandings, and I’ve seen people in pain over things they’ve imagined.
I don’t like seeing people hurt so much, but they won’t talk to me about it. I try so hard to let them know I’m here, but I feel if I bring it up, I’m prying.
I wish people could just be friends. I wish I could go back to kindergarten, where sharing crayons made you lifelong pals. I wish a smile could fix a friendship. I wish memories actually meant something, and that people actually remembered. I wish everything was different…
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 2’s 6 words: Everything reminds me of you, always. – Esalamy
I don’t want you guys (readers)to know who this is about, but I need to get this out. So try not to figure it out. Read if you wish, but speak of it to no one. =)
I thought… it would stop hurting. I thought that moving on would mean something. I thought time could heal all wounds. But… I wasn’t ready to move on.
I fought myself to forget you, I tried so hard to pretend you meant nothing.
You were my life. Truly. My everything. When you lose your everything, what is left? Nothingness.
And amidst my nothingness, I found a something. Then I convinced myself that something could be an everything. I tried so hard to make that something an everything, and I succumbed to my wishes.
By when I lost my something, it was only an echo of what I felt when I lost you.
It made me realise how powerful we were.
I finally felt like me when I was with you.
You were wonderful enough to love my perks, and stupid enough to love my quirks.
Every part of my being loved you, wholly and passionately.
I still miss what we were, and what we could have been. I’ve been thinking so much more about us lately. I’ve finally gotten over you, and I’m letting myself miss you. Miss everything you were to me.
So I’m not still in love with you, and I don’t still wish you were mine. Everything I see reminds me of you, but I’m finally okay with that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 3’s 6 words: Stephenie Meyer has improved my vocabulary. – Ebony =)
Okay, so after reading the Twilight series (several times), I have realized something.
My vocabulary is shit!!
Seriously, half the words she used, I couldn’t even pronounce! My sister read the books along with her dictionary, but I refused to sink to such levels!! So, half the books made so sense (:L).
Anywho…
I have decided that, my vocabulary being shit and all, I will learn new words!!
You know, all those words in the dictionary that no one uses, but they make you feel smart that you know what they mean.
Yeah, them, I’m gonna start learning what they all mean.
Today’s smarticle word: mendacious
Oh, but Ebony, what does this word mean? And why the hell do you care??
This word means: Telling lies, especially habitually; dishonest, lying, untruthful.
I care because: …I can’t remember where, but I saw it somewhere and I thought, crap, I wonder what that means. =)
So, in the future, maybe we shall all become more smarticle
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 4’s 6 words: We Write Because We Have To. – LoveMeEasy
And JUST IN CASE you’re really bored, and have read the whole blog and are searching for more.
There is this really pretty 6 word memoir written by ‘kiwi’.
YEAH! GO THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE!!
Anyway, it really touched me, as did ALLL of the associated comments.
Here’s the link.
And I’m not even gonna tell you what it is! Cuz I want you to click the link! Click it! Click it!!
My blog is over!! So go and see the 6 words that made my day back on October 16.
LEAVE!!!(and click the link).
So, as of today, I am going to write character profiles for the main characters
Elle Scott (you have no idea it took me to come up with that name!)
Main character – story is told from her perspective.
Lives with mother (Rebecca), father (Andrew), younger sister (Chloe) and pet dog – Jack.
Loosely based around me - very, very loosely. As in, almost not even there, and yet, I bothered mentioning it, so there to some extent.
Physical description: Very, very average. Medium brown, shoulder length hair. Medium height. Brown eyes – very expressive. She’s nice looking, not overly gorgeous or anything, just, pleasant – it’s very humbling. (:L)
Emotional description: She knows what’s going on – intuitive, if you will. She finds herself easily hurt, but she can always figure out a way to fix it. She has a hot temper, hot in that it is harsh, but it takes a lot for her to lose it.
Social description: Has one main friend whom you will meet later as she doesn’t have a name yet. Socialises well with other people – but appreciates time spent alone.
Stay tuned for a desciption of Luke Moore.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 1’s 6 words: Nothing more beautiful than broken, right? – coulda.been.a.comet
A lot of people around me have been broken lately.
And a lot of people in my life have broken others.
I guess, I’m just sick of it.
I don’t understand why people can’t just get along, why everything is complex.
I don’t understand why people blame themselves for things they didn’t do.
I don’t understand why people can’t talk it out, and fix it.
I don’t understand why people assume things of others without checking if it’s true.
Why do people think they know better? They don’t!
“You don’t understand cuz you’re not me”
Yeah, but I’ve been you. I know you think that I’m stupid and I don’t understand anything, but I’ve seen it all.
I’ve seen friends drift apart because of boys, exam marks, parents, and other friends. I’ve seen people fight because of misunderstandings, and I’ve seen people in pain over things they’ve imagined.
I don’t like seeing people hurt so much, but they won’t talk to me about it. I try so hard to let them know I’m here, but I feel if I bring it up, I’m prying.
I wish people could just be friends. I wish I could go back to kindergarten, where sharing crayons made you lifelong pals. I wish a smile could fix a friendship. I wish memories actually meant something, and that people actually remembered. I wish everything was different…
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 2’s 6 words: Everything reminds me of you, always. – Esalamy
I don’t want you guys (readers)to know who this is about, but I need to get this out. So try not to figure it out. Read if you wish, but speak of it to no one. =)
I thought… it would stop hurting. I thought that moving on would mean something. I thought time could heal all wounds. But… I wasn’t ready to move on.
I fought myself to forget you, I tried so hard to pretend you meant nothing.
You were my life. Truly. My everything. When you lose your everything, what is left? Nothingness.
And amidst my nothingness, I found a something. Then I convinced myself that something could be an everything. I tried so hard to make that something an everything, and I succumbed to my wishes.
By when I lost my something, it was only an echo of what I felt when I lost you.
It made me realise how powerful we were.
I finally felt like me when I was with you.
You were wonderful enough to love my perks, and stupid enough to love my quirks.
Every part of my being loved you, wholly and passionately.
I still miss what we were, and what we could have been. I’ve been thinking so much more about us lately. I’ve finally gotten over you, and I’m letting myself miss you. Miss everything you were to me.
So I’m not still in love with you, and I don’t still wish you were mine. Everything I see reminds me of you, but I’m finally okay with that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 3’s 6 words: Stephenie Meyer has improved my vocabulary. – Ebony =)
Okay, so after reading the Twilight series (several times), I have realized something.
My vocabulary is shit!!
Seriously, half the words she used, I couldn’t even pronounce! My sister read the books along with her dictionary, but I refused to sink to such levels!! So, half the books made so sense (:L).
Anywho…
I have decided that, my vocabulary being shit and all, I will learn new words!!
You know, all those words in the dictionary that no one uses, but they make you feel smart that you know what they mean.
Yeah, them, I’m gonna start learning what they all mean.
Today’s smarticle word: mendacious
Oh, but Ebony, what does this word mean? And why the hell do you care??
This word means: Telling lies, especially habitually; dishonest, lying, untruthful.
I care because: …I can’t remember where, but I saw it somewhere and I thought, crap, I wonder what that means. =)
So, in the future, maybe we shall all become more smarticle
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 4’s 6 words: We Write Because We Have To. – LoveMeEasy
And JUST IN CASE you’re really bored, and have read the whole blog and are searching for more.
There is this really pretty 6 word memoir written by ‘kiwi’.
YEAH! GO THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE!!
Anyway, it really touched me, as did ALLL of the associated comments.
Here’s the link.
And I’m not even gonna tell you what it is! Cuz I want you to click the link! Click it! Click it!!
My blog is over!! So go and see the 6 words that made my day back on October 16.
LEAVE!!!(and click the link).
Friday, 7 November 2008
I have a lot to say today
"Hello???"
My eyes refocused as my hed snapped up to look at her. She looked a little anxious, but I continued to gaze absently at her.
"What you looking at?" She asked with a smile as her eyes followed the path mine had been on seconds earlier. I tried to shake my head so she wouldn't look, but I realised it was too late. The smile slid from her face as comprehension dawned, she knew it was him.
"Oh right" she looked uncomfortable that she'd seen something she knew was so personal to me.
"I'm sorry" I still felt that this my fault. After all, it most probably was.
"Don't apologise" she paused "You can't help it" she mumbled, as she looked away.
She had a point. It was difficult for me to resist looking for him everyday. Difficult not to know where he was at every second, she knew it made me anxious.
"Still sorry though" I felt so bad, I never gave her a second thought, he had become my life now.
"Yeah, I know" and we continued to eat in silence.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 1's 6 words: I've taken residence inside my books. - angelica
I just wanna blog about New Moon again.
Go away if you’re sick of my twilightis.
OK, Bella? Dearest, darling, silly silly girl. See that guy over there, Jacob? Yeah? He’s perfect for you. And Edward? He let you go. That’s because he is an IDIOT!
He thinks he’s in love with you cuz he heard you say his name when you were asleep. You think you’re in love with him, because he FINALLY started talking to you again.
Jacob wants to be there for you. Actually have a conversation with you. Spend time with you without wanting to suck your blood. He wants to love you. He thinks you can be divine, and it’s hurting him that you won’t give him a chance.
So, Edward? Even if he does come back (as we all know he will, cuz this is a storybook, not reality), he’s not worth it. Because he thought you would be better off if he left. Prove him right.
He never really loved you, just as you never really loved him. What you thought was love, was merely attraction, and he didn’t deserve for you to think of him as you did. You know you love Jacob. Deep down, you know that you two can be extraordinary. Let him love you too.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
New Moon Part Over.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 2's 6 words: Nobody's judging you now. Just write. - October
OK, a big hello!!! To all the really cool people who have started 6 word memoir accounts, even if you've only posted a few times, you guys are fully rocking my socks right now.
And even if, at first, you find it hard to post your deepest darkest secrets on the Internet, one day, you'll try it, and probably get feautured, and from then on, you won't be afraid. So take it in your stride, learn from other people, enjoy the anonymity of it.
Keep in mind:
There are people out there that have it harder than you, never diss someone for what they think.
People love comments; comment lots, let people know when you enjoy their work.
Someone in that beautiful teen community feels the exact same way about something as you, let it out, so they won't feel so alone.
And of course, you will start thinking in 6 words. This is one of the mant hazards of going on the site too much. But use it! Think everything in 6 words, publish it, and you will have a beautiful documentation of your every thought.
---------------------------------------------------
Part 3's 6 words: Let's say I AM two people... - Shadowesque
Ever have that feeling, where you don't know what to do...
And it's like, you have 2 options.
The Angel
and the Devil
(couldnt you just hear those capitals?)
You know that you should choose the angel.
You know that the angel is the right thing to do.
It's tempting to choose the angel.
You know that you might choose the devil.
The devil will make you happier.
It's tempting to choose the devil.
And then, sometimes, you don't even know which one is which.
Because, sometimes, the options you have, they're both wrong!
There's no black and white, they're grey.
How do you figure out which decision to make?
When both could be so wrong.
Do you do what's right for yourself, or those around you.
Should you sacrifise your well-being to make someone happy?
Do you do what's right for friends or family.
Which takes priority, your heart or your soul?
And the all important:
Do I will do what feels right to me? The option that will make more people happy? The option that puts smiles on faces.
Or do I choose to listen to people giving me advice? The option that hurts people, that hurts me, but is better for me.
--------------------------------------
THE END.
My eyes refocused as my hed snapped up to look at her. She looked a little anxious, but I continued to gaze absently at her.
"What you looking at?" She asked with a smile as her eyes followed the path mine had been on seconds earlier. I tried to shake my head so she wouldn't look, but I realised it was too late. The smile slid from her face as comprehension dawned, she knew it was him.
"Oh right" she looked uncomfortable that she'd seen something she knew was so personal to me.
"I'm sorry" I still felt that this my fault. After all, it most probably was.
"Don't apologise" she paused "You can't help it" she mumbled, as she looked away.
She had a point. It was difficult for me to resist looking for him everyday. Difficult not to know where he was at every second, she knew it made me anxious.
"Still sorry though" I felt so bad, I never gave her a second thought, he had become my life now.
"Yeah, I know" and we continued to eat in silence.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 1's 6 words: I've taken residence inside my books. - angelica
I just wanna blog about New Moon again.
Go away if you’re sick of my twilightis.
OK, Bella? Dearest, darling, silly silly girl. See that guy over there, Jacob? Yeah? He’s perfect for you. And Edward? He let you go. That’s because he is an IDIOT!
He thinks he’s in love with you cuz he heard you say his name when you were asleep. You think you’re in love with him, because he FINALLY started talking to you again.
Jacob wants to be there for you. Actually have a conversation with you. Spend time with you without wanting to suck your blood. He wants to love you. He thinks you can be divine, and it’s hurting him that you won’t give him a chance.
So, Edward? Even if he does come back (as we all know he will, cuz this is a storybook, not reality), he’s not worth it. Because he thought you would be better off if he left. Prove him right.
He never really loved you, just as you never really loved him. What you thought was love, was merely attraction, and he didn’t deserve for you to think of him as you did. You know you love Jacob. Deep down, you know that you two can be extraordinary. Let him love you too.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
New Moon Part Over.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 2's 6 words: Nobody's judging you now. Just write. - October
OK, a big hello!!! To all the really cool people who have started 6 word memoir accounts, even if you've only posted a few times, you guys are fully rocking my socks right now.
And even if, at first, you find it hard to post your deepest darkest secrets on the Internet, one day, you'll try it, and probably get feautured, and from then on, you won't be afraid. So take it in your stride, learn from other people, enjoy the anonymity of it.
Keep in mind:
There are people out there that have it harder than you, never diss someone for what they think.
People love comments; comment lots, let people know when you enjoy their work.
Someone in that beautiful teen community feels the exact same way about something as you, let it out, so they won't feel so alone.
And of course, you will start thinking in 6 words. This is one of the mant hazards of going on the site too much. But use it! Think everything in 6 words, publish it, and you will have a beautiful documentation of your every thought.
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Part 3's 6 words: Let's say I AM two people... - Shadowesque
Ever have that feeling, where you don't know what to do...
And it's like, you have 2 options.
The Angel
and the Devil
(couldnt you just hear those capitals?)
You know that you should choose the angel.
You know that the angel is the right thing to do.
It's tempting to choose the angel.
You know that you might choose the devil.
The devil will make you happier.
It's tempting to choose the devil.
And then, sometimes, you don't even know which one is which.
Because, sometimes, the options you have, they're both wrong!
There's no black and white, they're grey.
How do you figure out which decision to make?
When both could be so wrong.
Do you do what's right for yourself, or those around you.
Should you sacrifise your well-being to make someone happy?
Do you do what's right for friends or family.
Which takes priority, your heart or your soul?
And the all important:
Do I will do what feels right to me? The option that will make more people happy? The option that puts smiles on faces.
Or do I choose to listen to people giving me advice? The option that hurts people, that hurts me, but is better for me.
--------------------------------------
THE END.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
NaBloPoMo2008
NO STORY =O
----------------------------------------------
Today’s 6 words: I’m not jealous, I just care – soulcages
Guess what month it is in America????
You: November!!
ME: WRONG!!!!
It’s national blog posting month!!! (NaBloPoMo2008)
Which means????
Many American bloggers have taken it upon themselves to blog EVERYDAY for a month! Every day of November!!!
So I have decided that I am SICK AND TIRED of Americans always thinking that they are better than everyone else! And I have taken it upon myself to ATTEMPT to blog EveryDay for November, proving that Aussies are JUSTASCOOL.
Problemo: Camp.
On the 18th/19th of November, I will not have access to a computer. =O
So, I will continue blogging through the beginning of December, sorry guys, that’s the best I can do.
Unless I get someone to guest blog… but I’m not that sad.
So, yeah. I will blog all month.
Keep in mind, you don’t have to read it. It will just be there.
----------------------------------------------
Today’s 6 words: I’m not jealous, I just care – soulcages
Guess what month it is in America????
You: November!!
ME: WRONG!!!!
It’s national blog posting month!!! (NaBloPoMo2008)
Which means????
Many American bloggers have taken it upon themselves to blog EVERYDAY for a month! Every day of November!!!
So I have decided that I am SICK AND TIRED of Americans always thinking that they are better than everyone else! And I have taken it upon myself to ATTEMPT to blog EveryDay for November, proving that Aussies are JUSTASCOOL.
Problemo: Camp.
On the 18th/19th of November, I will not have access to a computer. =O
So, I will continue blogging through the beginning of December, sorry guys, that’s the best I can do.
Unless I get someone to guest blog… but I’m not that sad.
So, yeah. I will blog all month.
Keep in mind, you don’t have to read it. It will just be there.
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
Thriving Violet
“But we’re friends”
I hated it when she guilted me like that. Sure, we’re friends, but there are some things she wouldn’t understand, even if I told her.
“I know, I know, it’s just…” Tell her the truth, come on you can do it! Say it!
“Just…?” She looked ready to contradict whatever I said
“Complicated” I answered.
She glowered at me “complicated?” she asked disbelievingly.I knew it would be like that. Everytime I try to explain, she dismisses me, sometimes it really makes me question our friendship. But I know she’s just concerned about me, my behaviour had certainly been a little off lately.
-----------------------------------------------
Hmmm,
I actually have some of substance to talk about today.
Inspired by ‘Thriving Violet’.
I know, I know, you guys will get sick of me continually getting blogmaterial from 6word memoir site, but you’ll forgive me, and I will continue to tax it J
Ok, so here is what ‘Thriving Violet’ had to say for herself.
The storm is calming. Or eye?
Very clever, no?
And, although it would have been better in more than 6 words, it definitely gets the point across, the point I am trying to make. Which is: Is my life actually getting better? Happier? Cooler? More fulfilling? OR is this just the middle of something bigger??
Something to think about, no?
Because, today, well… this morning, things were looking cool. I thought that it was all good, that I had nothing to worry about. And then, in class and even at recess/lunch, things started sucking again. And I don’t even know why. So I’m just wondering, is the storm calming? Or is this just the eye?
I hated it when she guilted me like that. Sure, we’re friends, but there are some things she wouldn’t understand, even if I told her.
“I know, I know, it’s just…” Tell her the truth, come on you can do it! Say it!
“Just…?” She looked ready to contradict whatever I said
“Complicated” I answered.
She glowered at me “complicated?” she asked disbelievingly.I knew it would be like that. Everytime I try to explain, she dismisses me, sometimes it really makes me question our friendship. But I know she’s just concerned about me, my behaviour had certainly been a little off lately.
-----------------------------------------------
Hmmm,
I actually have some of substance to talk about today.
Inspired by ‘Thriving Violet’.
I know, I know, you guys will get sick of me continually getting blogmaterial from 6word memoir site, but you’ll forgive me, and I will continue to tax it J
Ok, so here is what ‘Thriving Violet’ had to say for herself.
The storm is calming. Or eye?
Very clever, no?
And, although it would have been better in more than 6 words, it definitely gets the point across, the point I am trying to make. Which is: Is my life actually getting better? Happier? Cooler? More fulfilling? OR is this just the middle of something bigger??
Something to think about, no?
Because, today, well… this morning, things were looking cool. I thought that it was all good, that I had nothing to worry about. And then, in class and even at recess/lunch, things started sucking again. And I don’t even know why. So I’m just wondering, is the storm calming? Or is this just the eye?
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
041108
I don’t know that I was necessarily angry, just, perhaps, a little annoyed. Mainly with myself. Mainly for not knowing how I felt about him.
I mean, sure, he was nice, kind, funny, good-looking, and already in love with me. I just didn’t know if that was enough. I had this habit of giving all of myself, all of the time, and I still couldn’t figure out if I was yet over _____.
And even if I was, did that mean I automatically needed to enter another relationship? In fact, did I really need to care about guys at all?
But still, I felt I had to choose – one or the other. Which one was the best? Which one was the right decision?
“It doesn’t matter!” I sternly told myself aloud. I didn’t need to like one or the other, I could swear off guys for a little while.
“Then why do you care?” I asked myself.
-----------------------------------------------------
Today’s 6 words:
Just a face in the crowd – coulda.been.a.comet
Life is nice right now. I think I’m slowly becoming self-actualised. It’s a good feeling.
Friends: my group is improving, beginning to feel more like a group again, especially this week. I think we’ll be ok, I hope we’re all good by the time camp comes. Some of still have unresolved issues, but I’m pretty sure we’ll all make it out alive.
All outside of group friendships are improving for me. Which is very good. People are getting happier, problems are getting smaller, things are looking up. :)
Family: We’re just as tight as ever. My sis won $24 in Melbourne Cup. Family is bonding over diets (:L) and Australian Idol. Mum’s been working weekends and nights lately, so not home as much as usual, but it’ll be okay, she’s not working tonight… maybe we’ll play cards :)
School: Teachers are piling in homework, which I will do once done here, but I’m starting to pay attention in class. I care about doing well, probably because all my exam marks were so bad. I keep thinking I’m gonna get an okay one, and then BAM! Under 70%. *sigh
Love: not even worth mentioning, but it’s one of the four lives, so I will. Pretty dead, really. Very confusing… I dunno, it just is.
Overall: I'm ahppy, and maybe I don't even have a reason. But I'm smiling on the inside, and that's good enough for me.
I mean, sure, he was nice, kind, funny, good-looking, and already in love with me. I just didn’t know if that was enough. I had this habit of giving all of myself, all of the time, and I still couldn’t figure out if I was yet over _____.
And even if I was, did that mean I automatically needed to enter another relationship? In fact, did I really need to care about guys at all?
But still, I felt I had to choose – one or the other. Which one was the best? Which one was the right decision?
“It doesn’t matter!” I sternly told myself aloud. I didn’t need to like one or the other, I could swear off guys for a little while.
“Then why do you care?” I asked myself.
-----------------------------------------------------
Today’s 6 words:
Just a face in the crowd – coulda.been.a.comet
Life is nice right now. I think I’m slowly becoming self-actualised. It’s a good feeling.
Friends: my group is improving, beginning to feel more like a group again, especially this week. I think we’ll be ok, I hope we’re all good by the time camp comes. Some of still have unresolved issues, but I’m pretty sure we’ll all make it out alive.
All outside of group friendships are improving for me. Which is very good. People are getting happier, problems are getting smaller, things are looking up. :)
Family: We’re just as tight as ever. My sis won $24 in Melbourne Cup. Family is bonding over diets (:L) and Australian Idol. Mum’s been working weekends and nights lately, so not home as much as usual, but it’ll be okay, she’s not working tonight… maybe we’ll play cards :)
School: Teachers are piling in homework, which I will do once done here, but I’m starting to pay attention in class. I care about doing well, probably because all my exam marks were so bad. I keep thinking I’m gonna get an okay one, and then BAM! Under 70%. *sigh
Love: not even worth mentioning, but it’s one of the four lives, so I will. Pretty dead, really. Very confusing… I dunno, it just is.
Overall: I'm ahppy, and maybe I don't even have a reason. But I'm smiling on the inside, and that's good enough for me.
Monday, 3 November 2008
I'd Lie - Taylor Swift
You were like, gone, all last week
Your sister: My brother is really really sick
Thanks, that wasn't at all unsettling
Considering you'd been away for most the week, and when you came back on Wednesday, it was only for HALF THE DAY! bludger.
And then ur mummy picked you up. lucky...
i sorta just want to know if you're ok
I miss you, and I'm worried about you.
Which sounds stupid, but is true.
Stil away today... still miss you...
Please... just come back, and look OK. Not like last week. Look healthy again.
I don’t think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colors in his eyes
He’ll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I’m laughing cause I hope he's wrong
I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke I fake a smile
That I know all his favorite songs
And..
[chorus:]
I could tell you his favorite color's green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father’s eyes
And if you asked me if I love him,
I’d lie
He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn’t a light go on?
Doesn’t he know that I’ve had him memorized for so long?
He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don’t let nobody see me wishing he was mine
[chorus]
He stands there then walks away
My god if I could only say
I’m holding every breath for you...
He’d never tell you but he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything
But my heart
First thought when I wake up is
My god he’s beautiful
So I put on my make up
And pray for a miracle
Yes I could tell you his favorite color's green
He loves to argue oh and it kills me
His sister's beautiful he has his father’s eyes
And if you asked me if I love him
If you asked me if I love him
I’d lie
Your sister: My brother is really really sick
Thanks, that wasn't at all unsettling
Considering you'd been away for most the week, and when you came back on Wednesday, it was only for HALF THE DAY! bludger.
And then ur mummy picked you up. lucky...
i sorta just want to know if you're ok
I miss you, and I'm worried about you.
Which sounds stupid, but is true.
Stil away today... still miss you...
Please... just come back, and look OK. Not like last week. Look healthy again.
I don’t think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colors in his eyes
He’ll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I’m laughing cause I hope he's wrong
I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke I fake a smile
That I know all his favorite songs
And..
[chorus:]
I could tell you his favorite color's green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father’s eyes
And if you asked me if I love him,
I’d lie
He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn’t a light go on?
Doesn’t he know that I’ve had him memorized for so long?
He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don’t let nobody see me wishing he was mine
[chorus]
He stands there then walks away
My god if I could only say
I’m holding every breath for you...
He’d never tell you but he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything
But my heart
First thought when I wake up is
My god he’s beautiful
So I put on my make up
And pray for a miracle
Yes I could tell you his favorite color's green
He loves to argue oh and it kills me
His sister's beautiful he has his father’s eyes
And if you asked me if I love him
If you asked me if I love him
I’d lie
Sunday, 2 November 2008
6 word memoirs
“Why did you say no?”
He asked such a simple question, but I couldn’t truthfully answer.
The truth would be – ‘because I KNOW that you don’t mean it, that you think you love me but in a few months time you’ll break my heart. I KNOW you’re NOT different; you’ll hurt me too. I KNOW that I can’t live through that again, I’m still broken from the last guy. I KNOW you’ll walk away from this unscathed, whilst I fall apart’ So what did I say?
“You’re too good for me”
I actually think I did a good job with that line, because it was almost true, yet still, the complete opposite of the truth. You’re too good for me because I’m still broken, but I’m too good for you because I know I deserve someone better.
But he didn’t see the lie or the truth, he saw me thinking he was magnificent, that I was unworthy. And whilst that was the furthest thing from my mind, he planted the thought, and from then on, I truly believed he was better than me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, I told you guys briefly about 6 word memoirs, on my last blog, yes? Some of you may have been tempted to check it out and read some cool thoughts, for the rest, allow me to tell you more.
Your life in 6 words. Simple, really, tell everyone everything, in just 6 words.
It’s like postsecret, but shorter. Now, just to get you guys just as addicted as me, I will share with you, some memoirs. Some of the cooler ones:
Sorry, I can only be me.
Just a girl, finding her way.
Hope is what keeps me smiling.
Crying is good for the soul.
I am sixteen going on seven
Life was over. Then you happened.
Listening to music gives me life.
The acne’s a joke, right God???
My day shines; thoughts of you.
There is a reason for everything.
Soon youth will be no excuse.
I'm all about hugs and high-fives
High school: "this too shall pass."
My heart's yours. Make a decision!
“To Santa,
Just him...
Thanks,
Anna.”
No-one wanted to dance with me
Let me pretend you broke me.
I know, I make it worse....
I'm really hoping he is asleep...
You hate. I love. That hurts.
I play my life, a song.
i wished upon a shooting star...
it's only magic if you believe
Once upon a time…never mind.
you care. you're just acting. right?
I like boys. So does he.
Because I think you're my destiny.
Sometimes, it helps to have faith.
He's the mirror every girl wants.
Butterflie were hideous once, have hope.
Without darkness, there is no light.
I know, I know, there’s a lot. But PLEASE read them all, they’re very good, and see if you can figure out which one I wrote ;)
ANYWHO. From now on, ill probably stick a 6-word-memoir on each of my blogs/ use one as name/pm. I like them, they are pretty.
And now you actually know what I’m talking about when I use them.
So, make an account! And add to them!!
And see if I use yours ;)
Im out!
He asked such a simple question, but I couldn’t truthfully answer.
The truth would be – ‘because I KNOW that you don’t mean it, that you think you love me but in a few months time you’ll break my heart. I KNOW you’re NOT different; you’ll hurt me too. I KNOW that I can’t live through that again, I’m still broken from the last guy. I KNOW you’ll walk away from this unscathed, whilst I fall apart’ So what did I say?
“You’re too good for me”
I actually think I did a good job with that line, because it was almost true, yet still, the complete opposite of the truth. You’re too good for me because I’m still broken, but I’m too good for you because I know I deserve someone better.
But he didn’t see the lie or the truth, he saw me thinking he was magnificent, that I was unworthy. And whilst that was the furthest thing from my mind, he planted the thought, and from then on, I truly believed he was better than me.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, I told you guys briefly about 6 word memoirs, on my last blog, yes? Some of you may have been tempted to check it out and read some cool thoughts, for the rest, allow me to tell you more.
Your life in 6 words. Simple, really, tell everyone everything, in just 6 words.
It’s like postsecret, but shorter. Now, just to get you guys just as addicted as me, I will share with you, some memoirs. Some of the cooler ones:
Sorry, I can only be me.
Just a girl, finding her way.
Hope is what keeps me smiling.
Crying is good for the soul.
I am sixteen going on seven
Life was over. Then you happened.
Listening to music gives me life.
The acne’s a joke, right God???
My day shines; thoughts of you.
There is a reason for everything.
Soon youth will be no excuse.
I'm all about hugs and high-fives
High school: "this too shall pass."
My heart's yours. Make a decision!
“To Santa,
Just him...
Thanks,
Anna.”
No-one wanted to dance with me
Let me pretend you broke me.
I know, I make it worse....
I'm really hoping he is asleep...
You hate. I love. That hurts.
I play my life, a song.
i wished upon a shooting star...
it's only magic if you believe
Once upon a time…never mind.
you care. you're just acting. right?
I like boys. So does he.
Because I think you're my destiny.
Sometimes, it helps to have faith.
He's the mirror every girl wants.
Butterflie were hideous once, have hope.
Without darkness, there is no light.
I know, I know, there’s a lot. But PLEASE read them all, they’re very good, and see if you can figure out which one I wrote ;)
ANYWHO. From now on, ill probably stick a 6-word-memoir on each of my blogs/ use one as name/pm. I like them, they are pretty.
And now you actually know what I’m talking about when I use them.
So, make an account! And add to them!!
And see if I use yours ;)
Im out!
Saturday, 1 November 2008
{{ dont know what to put here }}
"Are you...serious?"
Thats not exactly what I meant to say, 'are you for real?' 'are you crazy?' 'are you TRYING to hurt me?' they all seemed a little more appropriate, but hey, who am i to cause trouble, right? im not the one to hurt others.
im the heartbroken, not the heart breaker. im the one who falls for all 'those' lines, the one who thought he was for real when he said 'i really love you', 'ive never felt like this about anyone else before'. im the jerk. the one who just wanted him to say that he was kidding, 'no, of course im not serious, i love you' yeah, im that naive.
"im so sorry"
he didnt look sorry. he didnt look like his eyes felt even a millionth of the pain that was currently pulsing through my every vein. he didnt look like he'd ever regret it, or wake up tomorrow morning crying because hed done something wrong.
he looked like all the others, he looked like something inside of him was laughing, he looked like he was thinking 'sucker! she fell for it!' but he definately didnt look sorry.
-------------
dunno what im gonna do with all that gab at the top of my blogs.
put it all together and make a story? hmm, would you read it?
i like expressing myself like that, its easier, than telling people how you feel.
which im not all that good at. except on this blog, and on my 6-word-memoir account.
AHEM. i feel that this random post is the perfect opportunity to introduce you (or reintroduce if you already know it) to the one blog i cannot live without. the blog i check on almost everyday because IM THAT SAD! and shes that good. she thinks the same way as me, recently met up with the 13 year old girl within her upon her discovery of twilight, and uses sarcasm as her FIRST language, english as her second.
of course, i could only be talking of Tia and CleverGirlGoesBlog.
i love her, really, she is amazing, and funny, and sarcastic, and witty and entertaining, and if she wrote a book, I WOULD SO BUY IT!!
so please, go to her website, it is UBERCOOL.
ok, enough about that, i do actually have some things that i would like to say. and i choose to take a further leaf out of amys book, in writing to these people via numeros.
Person 1
i now read your blog everyday
ur not close to me
ur close to my friends, weve just never been put together so we dont really know each other
your blog inspires me
cuz theres a really small chance that you know exactly how i feel
i just like to know that there can be a happy ending...or something like that
Person 2
i wanted you to be my best friend, truly
i joked about it, once, about how close we got, and then i started ignoring you
it hurt me
it felt like the the right thing to do
it really hurt me
i want us to be close, i know we can, we can fit perfectly together. you know me better than all of my group put together, because we always talk D&M, and youve seen my heart, more than i wanted you to, but im glad you saw it, now you know.
im sorry for ignoring you, i wish to now piece our friendship back together, we just, have such strong foundations, and no idea of what to build.
Person 3
im sorry. because i have this feeling that you blame me, and i dont know why.
i feel guilty, and i dont know why, did i do something?
would you tell me if i did?
would you care if i felt remorse?
im trying to remember what it is i feel guilty about, but im coming up blank.
im very sorry if ive hurt you, because i feel i have, and i AM truly sorry.
Person 4
noo, im not really your biggest fan at the moment.
ive had something ive been trying to tell you all week.
and weve talked. goodness, have we talked!
but not once about me, and now its too late, i have yet again suffered in silence, perhaps like i should have.
i dont want to go all woe-is-me, but i thought i knew you better.
i thought ud care
or at least notice that i was writhing in pain.
Person 5
im sorry, i didnt mean to tell someone else something that was so personal to you and people you love.
hopefully youll read this, and know i mean you.
i am truly sorry.
i dont think that helps, because i did upset you.
but i NEVER meant to hurt you.
PLEASE forgive me.
Thats not exactly what I meant to say, 'are you for real?' 'are you crazy?' 'are you TRYING to hurt me?' they all seemed a little more appropriate, but hey, who am i to cause trouble, right? im not the one to hurt others.
im the heartbroken, not the heart breaker. im the one who falls for all 'those' lines, the one who thought he was for real when he said 'i really love you', 'ive never felt like this about anyone else before'. im the jerk. the one who just wanted him to say that he was kidding, 'no, of course im not serious, i love you' yeah, im that naive.
"im so sorry"
he didnt look sorry. he didnt look like his eyes felt even a millionth of the pain that was currently pulsing through my every vein. he didnt look like he'd ever regret it, or wake up tomorrow morning crying because hed done something wrong.
he looked like all the others, he looked like something inside of him was laughing, he looked like he was thinking 'sucker! she fell for it!' but he definately didnt look sorry.
-------------
dunno what im gonna do with all that gab at the top of my blogs.
put it all together and make a story? hmm, would you read it?
i like expressing myself like that, its easier, than telling people how you feel.
which im not all that good at. except on this blog, and on my 6-word-memoir account.
AHEM. i feel that this random post is the perfect opportunity to introduce you (or reintroduce if you already know it) to the one blog i cannot live without. the blog i check on almost everyday because IM THAT SAD! and shes that good. she thinks the same way as me, recently met up with the 13 year old girl within her upon her discovery of twilight, and uses sarcasm as her FIRST language, english as her second.
of course, i could only be talking of Tia and CleverGirlGoesBlog.
i love her, really, she is amazing, and funny, and sarcastic, and witty and entertaining, and if she wrote a book, I WOULD SO BUY IT!!
so please, go to her website, it is UBERCOOL.
ok, enough about that, i do actually have some things that i would like to say. and i choose to take a further leaf out of amys book, in writing to these people via numeros.
Person 1
i now read your blog everyday
ur not close to me
ur close to my friends, weve just never been put together so we dont really know each other
your blog inspires me
cuz theres a really small chance that you know exactly how i feel
i just like to know that there can be a happy ending...or something like that
Person 2
i wanted you to be my best friend, truly
i joked about it, once, about how close we got, and then i started ignoring you
it hurt me
it felt like the the right thing to do
it really hurt me
i want us to be close, i know we can, we can fit perfectly together. you know me better than all of my group put together, because we always talk D&M, and youve seen my heart, more than i wanted you to, but im glad you saw it, now you know.
im sorry for ignoring you, i wish to now piece our friendship back together, we just, have such strong foundations, and no idea of what to build.
Person 3
im sorry. because i have this feeling that you blame me, and i dont know why.
i feel guilty, and i dont know why, did i do something?
would you tell me if i did?
would you care if i felt remorse?
im trying to remember what it is i feel guilty about, but im coming up blank.
im very sorry if ive hurt you, because i feel i have, and i AM truly sorry.
Person 4
noo, im not really your biggest fan at the moment.
ive had something ive been trying to tell you all week.
and weve talked. goodness, have we talked!
but not once about me, and now its too late, i have yet again suffered in silence, perhaps like i should have.
i dont want to go all woe-is-me, but i thought i knew you better.
i thought ud care
or at least notice that i was writhing in pain.
Person 5
im sorry, i didnt mean to tell someone else something that was so personal to you and people you love.
hopefully youll read this, and know i mean you.
i am truly sorry.
i dont think that helps, because i did upset you.
but i NEVER meant to hurt you.
PLEASE forgive me.
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