trying not to overthink it.

Do you think about me too? - coulda.been.a.comet

well i certainly think that deserves a round of applause.

in the past 24 hours i have managed to single handedly push away everyone close to me in the world.

congratulations.

Truth be told, I need you - To.Much.Not.Enuff

i have all these free periods today. music... english... i guess someone upstairs was trying to tell me i needed some thinking time. i didnt exactly listen.

in fact, as much as i wanted to think. i refused to let myself. because what i want and what i need seem to always be exact opposites when it comes to particular facets of my life.

This is how it always begins - October

so i refused myself what i wanted, and figured what i needed must be the only alternative.

i didnt think.
i spoke, of stupid, useless things, that almost held my concentration, but i didnt think.

Basically, my life's way too confusing - StarlightSailing

and then finally, walking home from drama this afternoon, i faced the music, and let it have me. in the 2.5 minutes it took me to walk down that street, i had successfully driven myself completely to breaking point. i just wanted to screem (aside form the fact that i was in a crowded street). and i was probably just about to.

and then, the person upstairs who id been ignoring all day, realised tat i was right, and i should definatly be prohibited from all thoughts. and around the corner drove my dad, my saviour. i stopped thinking again.

To Do: Find more distractions - J600y

and i have tried extraordinarily hard to not think for the duration of the evening.

alas, my mum decided that dinner tonight should be a quiet affair. no talking allowed. and oh what brilliant timing you have too, mother. (of course, timing never has been your strong point, has it?)

i kept talking, however, and was sent to my room. way to make me feel 5 mum, thats soo what i need right now.

Can I have my smile back? - Madds

so, i had no choice but to think. (or talk to myself which i did for 15 minutes before i exhausted all conversation topics). think, i did. i thought abaout everything, and it only took about 3 seconds, so i thought about everything over and over and over again, until everything hurt even more than it had in the first place.

but, then again, what more did i expect? that suddenly everything would be fine, just because ive been avoiding it?

I choose to express through quotes - coulda.been.a.comet