{{ dont know what to put here }}

"Are you...serious?"
Thats not exactly what I meant to say, 'are you for real?' 'are you crazy?' 'are you TRYING to hurt me?' they all seemed a little more appropriate, but hey, who am i to cause trouble, right? im not the one to hurt others.
im the heartbroken, not the heart breaker. im the one who falls for all 'those' lines, the one who thought he was for real when he said 'i really love you', 'ive never felt like this about anyone else before'. im the jerk. the one who just wanted him to say that he was kidding, 'no, of course im not serious, i love you' yeah, im that naive.

"im so sorry"
he didnt look sorry. he didnt look like his eyes felt even a millionth of the pain that was currently pulsing through my every vein. he didnt look like he'd ever regret it, or wake up tomorrow morning crying because hed done something wrong.
he looked like all the others, he looked like something inside of him was laughing, he looked like he was thinking 'sucker! she fell for it!' but he definately didnt look sorry.

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dunno what im gonna do with all that gab at the top of my blogs.
put it all together and make a story? hmm, would you read it?

i like expressing myself like that, its easier, than telling people how you feel.
which im not all that good at. except on this blog, and on my 6-word-memoir account.

AHEM. i feel that this random post is the perfect opportunity to introduce you (or reintroduce if you already know it) to the one blog i cannot live without. the blog i check on almost everyday because IM THAT SAD! and shes that good. she thinks the same way as me, recently met up with the 13 year old girl within her upon her discovery of twilight, and uses sarcasm as her FIRST language, english as her second.
of course, i could only be talking of Tia and CleverGirlGoesBlog.
i love her, really, she is amazing, and funny, and sarcastic, and witty and entertaining, and if she wrote a book, I WOULD SO BUY IT!!
so please, go to her website, it is UBERCOOL.

ok, enough about that, i do actually have some things that i would like to say. and i choose to take a further leaf out of amys book, in writing to these people via numeros.

Person 1
i now read your blog everyday
ur not close to me
ur close to my friends, weve just never been put together so we dont really know each other
your blog inspires me
cuz theres a really small chance that you know exactly how i feel
i just like to know that there can be a happy ending...or something like that

Person 2
i wanted you to be my best friend, truly
i joked about it, once, about how close we got, and then i started ignoring you
it hurt me
it felt like the the right thing to do
it really hurt me
i want us to be close, i know we can, we can fit perfectly together. you know me better than all of my group put together, because we always talk D&M, and youve seen my heart, more than i wanted you to, but im glad you saw it, now you know.
im sorry for ignoring you, i wish to now piece our friendship back together, we just, have such strong foundations, and no idea of what to build.

Person 3
im sorry. because i have this feeling that you blame me, and i dont know why.
i feel guilty, and i dont know why, did i do something?
would you tell me if i did?
would you care if i felt remorse?
im trying to remember what it is i feel guilty about, but im coming up blank.
im very sorry if ive hurt you, because i feel i have, and i AM truly sorry.

Person 4
noo, im not really your biggest fan at the moment.
ive had something ive been trying to tell you all week.
and weve talked. goodness, have we talked!
but not once about me, and now its too late, i have yet again suffered in silence, perhaps like i should have.
i dont want to go all woe-is-me, but i thought i knew you better.
i thought ud care
or at least notice that i was writhing in pain.


Person 5

im sorry, i didnt mean to tell someone else something that was so personal to you and people you love.
hopefully youll read this, and know i mean you.
i am truly sorry.
i dont think that helps, because i did upset you.
but i NEVER meant to hurt you.
PLEASE forgive me.