041108

I don’t know that I was necessarily angry, just, perhaps, a little annoyed. Mainly with myself. Mainly for not knowing how I felt about him.
I mean, sure, he was nice, kind, funny, good-looking, and already in love with me. I just didn’t know if that was enough. I had this habit of giving all of myself, all of the time, and I still couldn’t figure out if I was yet over _____.
And even if I was, did that mean I automatically needed to enter another relationship? In fact, did I really need to care about guys at all?
But still, I felt I had to choose – one or the other. Which one was the best? Which one was the right decision?
“It doesn’t matter!” I sternly told myself aloud. I didn’t need to like one or the other, I could swear off guys for a little while.
“Then why do you care?” I asked myself.

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Today’s 6 words:
Just a face in the crowd – coulda.been.a.comet

Life is nice right now. I think I’m slowly becoming self-actualised. It’s a good feeling.

Friends: my group is improving, beginning to feel more like a group again, especially this week. I think we’ll be ok, I hope we’re all good by the time camp comes. Some of still have unresolved issues, but I’m pretty sure we’ll all make it out alive.

All outside of group friendships are improving for me. Which is very good. People are getting happier, problems are getting smaller, things are looking up. :)

Family: We’re just as tight as ever. My sis won $24 in Melbourne Cup. Family is bonding over diets (:L) and Australian Idol. Mum’s been working weekends and nights lately, so not home as much as usual, but it’ll be okay, she’s not working tonight… maybe we’ll play cards :)

School: Teachers are piling in homework, which I will do once done here, but I’m starting to pay attention in class. I care about doing well, probably because all my exam marks were so bad. I keep thinking I’m gonna get an okay one, and then BAM! Under 70%. *sigh

Love: not even worth mentioning, but it’s one of the four lives, so I will. Pretty dead, really. Very confusing… I dunno, it just is.

Overall: I'm ahppy, and maybe I don't even have a reason. But I'm smiling on the inside, and that's good enough for me.