I am genuinely surprised that I had the patience to navigate all the way to a page for a new blog post because oh my gosh the Internet has never been slower due to my silly mother downloading an entire season of Men In Trees at once and DEVOURING any remnants of downloads we may have left.
But I'm going on holidays tomorrow anyway so when I come back I shall have Internetage.
I'm going to Callala Beach which is about 2 hours down. We're taking the doggie as there is a dog beach not too far away. Please miss me lots xD
Today, I made a chocolate cake.
And I KNOW I have a new years resolution about less junk food but I swear! I'm doing so well. I deserve a treat. =} And there's some cream in the fridge that I can whip to ice it with so that it doesn't go off whilst we're on holidays. Haha, that's actually not a bad excuse.
Oh, and my sister got her Ps yesterday, so now she's all awesome. And she appointed me as her personal navigator but I got her lost already :L:L. It's not MY fault it was a no right turn and we had to keep driving and end up in the never never. I think I did quite well, considering.
Anyways, that's all I have to say. I will miss you all. But not this sssllllooooowwww Internet. Be good and stay safe (unless you're May Lyn, and then you stay stafe.)
Live long, and prosper.
Saturday, 9 January 2010
Thursday, 7 January 2010
100 Truths
001. Real name : Ebony
002. Nickname(s): Ebz, Bonnie
003. Zodiac sign : Scorpio
004. Male or female : Female
005. Elementary : St Joseph's/Newbridge Heights
006. Middle School : Hurlstone Agricultural High School
007. High School : Hurlstone Agricultural High School
008. Hair color : Black (at the moment)
009. Long or short : Medium length
010. Loud or Quiet : Loud...
011. Sweats or Jeans : Jeans
012. Phone or Camera : Phone
013. Health freak : No
014. Drink or Smoke? : Neither.
015. Do you have a crush on someone? Yes, sorta :L
016. Eat or Drink → Eat
017. Piercings → Ears
018. Tattoos → Not yet
HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane :Yes
020. Been in a relationship : Yes
021. Been in a car accident : No
022. Been in a fist fight : No
FIRSTS:
023. First piercing : Ears
024. First best friend : Aileen
025. First awkward : Dunno
026. First crush : Reece :L
028. First big vacation : Gold Coast/Cairns
LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to : Nikki
030. Last person you texted : Victor
031. Last person you watched a movie with : Stra Trk with family
032. Last food you ate : Sorbet
034. Last song you listened to : Drenched In Fear - In Flames
035. Last thing you bought : Spa pedicures for me + nikki + mum
036. Last person you hugged : IDad
FAVES:
037. Food : Olives
038. Drinks : Pineapple juice
039. Clothing : jeans
040. Books : i dunno, books that make you think.
041. Musics : Pretty much everything.
042. Flower : Frangipani
043. Colours : Green
044. Movies : Romcoms
045. Shoes : Sandals
046. Subjects : Science =D
IN 2009..... I
047. [ ] kissed in the snow (I've FINALLY been to the snow !! :DDD)
048. [ ] celebrated Halloween
049. [ ] had your heart broken
050. [ ] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [x] someone else questioned your sexual orientation
052. [ ] came out of the closet
053. [ ] gotten pregnant
054. [ ] had an abortion
055. [ ] done something you've regretted
056. [ ] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [x] met someone who changed your life
060. [ ] pretended to be sick
061. [ ] left the country
062. [ ] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [x] cried over the silliest thing
064. [ ] ran a mile
065. [ ] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
066. [ ] stay single the whole year
CURRENTLY:
067. Eating : no i'm not
068. Drinking : not that either
069. I'm about to : go to coles :L:L
070. Listening to : Dark Star - Grateful Dead
071. Plans for today : My sister's bestfriend and her family are coming over at 4. We will do shit.
072. Waiting for : Tomorrow.
YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? Yes, boy girl boy boy.
074. Want to get married? Yes. Saturday November 4, 2017.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
076. Lips or eyes : Eyes
077. Shorter or taller? : Shorter than me =P (at least in heels)
078. Romantic or spontaneous : Spontaneously romantic
079. Nice stomach or nice arms : Nice arms
080. Sensitive or loud : Sensitive
081. Hook-up or relationship : Relationships
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant : Hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts : Don't have them but I lose Sunnies. < same.
084. Ran away from home : No
085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense : No
086. Killed somebody : A few sims.
087. Broken someone's heart : No
088. Been arrested : No.
089. Cried when someone died : Yeah, everyone, even goldfish.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself : Generally, yes, just sometimes, I ahve my doubts.
091. Miracles : Yes
092. Love at first sight : Yes
093. Heaven : No
094. Santa Claus : I belive in the spirit
095. Sex on the first date : No
096. Kiss on the first date : Yes
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? : Yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? : Indeed I am.
099. Do you believe in God : I'm pretty sure I don't
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 15 people. Uhhm, yeah, people reading? Go do this thing. :L
002. Nickname(s): Ebz, Bonnie
003. Zodiac sign : Scorpio
004. Male or female : Female
005. Elementary : St Joseph's/Newbridge Heights
006. Middle School : Hurlstone Agricultural High School
007. High School : Hurlstone Agricultural High School
008. Hair color : Black (at the moment)
009. Long or short : Medium length
010. Loud or Quiet : Loud...
011. Sweats or Jeans : Jeans
012. Phone or Camera : Phone
013. Health freak : No
014. Drink or Smoke? : Neither.
015. Do you have a crush on someone? Yes, sorta :L
016. Eat or Drink → Eat
017. Piercings → Ears
018. Tattoos → Not yet
HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane :Yes
020. Been in a relationship : Yes
021. Been in a car accident : No
022. Been in a fist fight : No
FIRSTS:
023. First piercing : Ears
024. First best friend : Aileen
025. First awkward : Dunno
026. First crush : Reece :L
028. First big vacation : Gold Coast/Cairns
LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to : Nikki
030. Last person you texted : Victor
031. Last person you watched a movie with : Stra Trk with family
032. Last food you ate : Sorbet
034. Last song you listened to : Drenched In Fear - In Flames
035. Last thing you bought : Spa pedicures for me + nikki + mum
036. Last person you hugged : IDad
FAVES:
037. Food : Olives
038. Drinks : Pineapple juice
039. Clothing : jeans
040. Books : i dunno, books that make you think.
041. Musics : Pretty much everything.
042. Flower : Frangipani
043. Colours : Green
044. Movies : Romcoms
045. Shoes : Sandals
046. Subjects : Science =D
IN 2009..... I
047. [ ] kissed in the snow (I've FINALLY been to the snow !! :DDD)
048. [ ] celebrated Halloween
049. [ ] had your heart broken
050. [ ] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [x] someone else questioned your sexual orientation
052. [ ] came out of the closet
053. [ ] gotten pregnant
054. [ ] had an abortion
055. [ ] done something you've regretted
056. [ ] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [x] met someone who changed your life
060. [ ] pretended to be sick
061. [ ] left the country
062. [ ] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [x] cried over the silliest thing
064. [ ] ran a mile
065. [ ] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
066. [ ] stay single the whole year
CURRENTLY:
067. Eating : no i'm not
068. Drinking : not that either
069. I'm about to : go to coles :L:L
070. Listening to : Dark Star - Grateful Dead
071. Plans for today : My sister's bestfriend and her family are coming over at 4. We will do shit.
072. Waiting for : Tomorrow.
YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? Yes, boy girl boy boy.
074. Want to get married? Yes. Saturday November 4, 2017.
WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
076. Lips or eyes : Eyes
077. Shorter or taller? : Shorter than me =P (at least in heels)
078. Romantic or spontaneous : Spontaneously romantic
079. Nice stomach or nice arms : Nice arms
080. Sensitive or loud : Sensitive
081. Hook-up or relationship : Relationships
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant : Hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts : Don't have them but I lose Sunnies. < same.
084. Ran away from home : No
085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense : No
086. Killed somebody : A few sims.
087. Broken someone's heart : No
088. Been arrested : No.
089. Cried when someone died : Yeah, everyone, even goldfish.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself : Generally, yes, just sometimes, I ahve my doubts.
091. Miracles : Yes
092. Love at first sight : Yes
093. Heaven : No
094. Santa Claus : I belive in the spirit
095. Sex on the first date : No
096. Kiss on the first date : Yes
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? : Yes
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? : Indeed I am.
099. Do you believe in God : I'm pretty sure I don't
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 15 people. Uhhm, yeah, people reading? Go do this thing. :L
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
After all of that, the part I hate most is that you told her first, instead of me.
Confession #11: I was not okay.
Jealousy.
At least, I think that's what this it.
I mean, I'm no expert on the matter.
I just always thought it was an emotional pain.
But that's not true.
It's a physical pain.
It's where all of your joints lock up, and just laying down puts you in an unbelievable agony.
You can't feel your knees because of the pain running through each of them.
It's where your stomach feels like there are little bugs inside.
Slowly, eating away at everything inside.
Everything you have left.
And you feel empty.
It's where your back feels like it's been set on fire.
It's the pain that makes you lie awake at night, in your bed. Because sitting stil hurts.
So you sit up, and you rush through the thousand things you wish you could say.
Things that would make them understand how you feel.
And after a while, the pain stops.
Until you lay back down.
And allow it to consume you again.
Allow it to tear you apart from the seems again.
At least; I think that's jealousy.
Either that or I should really see a doctor.
“Gravity doesn't exist. The Universe simply sucks.”
Someone is always better than you. – soulcages
Jealousy.
At least, I think that's what this it.
I mean, I'm no expert on the matter.
I just always thought it was an emotional pain.
But that's not true.
It's a physical pain.
It's where all of your joints lock up, and just laying down puts you in an unbelievable agony.
You can't feel your knees because of the pain running through each of them.
It's where your stomach feels like there are little bugs inside.
Slowly, eating away at everything inside.
Everything you have left.
And you feel empty.
It's where your back feels like it's been set on fire.
It's the pain that makes you lie awake at night, in your bed. Because sitting stil hurts.
So you sit up, and you rush through the thousand things you wish you could say.
Things that would make them understand how you feel.
And after a while, the pain stops.
Until you lay back down.
And allow it to consume you again.
Allow it to tear you apart from the seems again.
At least; I think that's jealousy.
Either that or I should really see a doctor.
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
Lonely.
Confession #73: I miss you more than I should. I dream about you more than I should. I love you more than I should. That's what people tell me. I disagree.
Ok, so I've been... basicallly, a bitch.... for the past few days now. I've been in the most feral mood ever. And I feel like venting. But, I'm not annoyed at anyone in particular. I just get really really angry REALLY easily.
I think it has something to do with my new years resolutions.
Because I said that I would not sleep until I'd done something good for someone else. Which totally conflicts with the resolution of Do things for myself, not anyone else. I'm trying so hard to do my one good thing (and let me tell you, I am totally on track with that) that I'm ignoring myself. And I'm not happy. I want to be happy.
So yeah, that's my whinge for the day. I have to take my dog to the vet (again) today. He has a weird lump near his tail. =S I will come back and whinge again later.
“If you get between me and the things I love, I will ask you politely to move.
If you get between me and the people I love, you will move.”
Talking to you makes me sane. – Poodahead
Ok, so I've been... basicallly, a bitch.... for the past few days now. I've been in the most feral mood ever. And I feel like venting. But, I'm not annoyed at anyone in particular. I just get really really angry REALLY easily.
I think it has something to do with my new years resolutions.
Because I said that I would not sleep until I'd done something good for someone else. Which totally conflicts with the resolution of Do things for myself, not anyone else. I'm trying so hard to do my one good thing (and let me tell you, I am totally on track with that) that I'm ignoring myself. And I'm not happy. I want to be happy.
So yeah, that's my whinge for the day. I have to take my dog to the vet (again) today. He has a weird lump near his tail. =S I will come back and whinge again later.
Friday, 1 January 2010
Because 2 blogs in one day isn't enough
 | |||
| In 2009 I... [ ] Dumped someone [ ] Was dumped by someone [ ] Dyed my hair [ ] Failed a class [x] Fell in love [ ] Had love at first sight [ ] Had more than one boyfriend/ girlfriend [ ] Snuck out of my house [ ] Stayed up all night [x] Cried because I missed someone [ ] Had detention(s) (I can't remember a single one!) [ ] Missed curfew [ ] Kissed someone who I regret kissing [ ] Danced crazily with my friends all night [x] Gained confidence [ ] Lost a friend [x] Gained new friends [ ] Changed my look In 2010 I want to... [ ] Be more outgoing [x] Get better grades [x] Care less about how I look [ ] Care more about how I look [x] Be crazier [ ] Get a new bf/ gf [xx] Stay with the bf/ gf I have right now [x] Keep my resolution [x] To be more of myself around people In 2009, my age was: 15 > 16 A word to describe 2009: lovee In 2010 I will be turning: 17 (holy shit) Something I want to happen in 2010: be in joannie's class for once Something I don't want to happen in 2010: become sad My theme song to 2009 would be: i don't really know. My favorite colour in 2009: green =) My best friends in 2009: AMY Jenny Lisa Joannie Judy Victor Honestly, will you miss 2009: yeah, i will, i actually really liked that year, i think... a lot of myself changed. i actually grew up a lot. which still terrifies me. but at t he same time, i feel... responsible. and it's pretty cool. | |||
Terrified
I'm so sick of those early morning phone calls.
They all scare me.
The urgency in your voice.
How frantic you sound.
The fact that you don't want to talk to me, only him.
I always answer.
You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
But I doubt I ever will be.
People tell me you're overreacting.
But I know what it's like.
Sometimes they don't
But I've received those phone calls.
I can tell now.
I am terrified.
They all scare me.
The urgency in your voice.
How frantic you sound.
The fact that you don't want to talk to me, only him.
I always answer.
You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
But I doubt I ever will be.
People tell me you're overreacting.
But I know what it's like.
Sometimes they don't
But I've received those phone calls.
I can tell now.
I am terrified.
Happy Today!
It's finally here.
2010.
It's so... big, and scary.
And I think, something's meant to be different.
But it doesn't feel any different.
I'm just as scared and confused about everything.
And a list of stupid resolutions aren't going to change anything.
And I've already broken the nailbiting one. At about 1 o'clock this morning.
---
And... I miss my family.
No one's ever around. Between work, and visiting my grandfather, and making plans... we just don't see each other. And now whenever we do see each other, we all tell each other off. (Although I did lose $75)
I think I'll enjoy our holiday in a few days.
Simply because there will be no distractions, we'll get to be us. The whole time.
...that will be nice.
---
I told you I was scared. And you comforted me. You told me I didn't have to be scared. You told me that sometimes I should just give in, and do what I want. But that's even scarier. And this is something that has been scaring and confusing me since we started joking about your birthday. And I haven't told you, but I feel like if I don't give in, I'll disappoint you too much. And I always disappoint you. And I'm sick of it. And I wish I could make you happy without everyone in the world thinking differently of me. And usually, I can. But sometimes...
---
I avoid some people on purpose
I’ve thought about cheating (but you brought it up)
I hate the way I look most of the time
I actually like the way I look most of the time
I’ve been swimming in an ocean
I’ve been swimming in a lake
I have a sibling
I have pets
I’ve been on vacation recently
I love meeting new people
I am insanely shy
I’m on a sports team
My best friend is a boy (one of)
I play music
I don’t remember the last time I mailed a letter
I talk on the phone almost every night
I drink milk almost every day
I’ve kissed someone in a bathroom
I’ve kissed someone in bed
I’ve kissed someone at school
I’ve kissed someone I just met
I’ve kissed a good friend
I like to read
I like to watch tv
I couldn’t care less about video games
I hate my mom and dad
I’ve had a crush on someone for 5+ years
I’ve never asked someone out
I can touch my nose with my tongue
I love pizza
I actually love going grocery shopping
I love to travel
I’ve been to another continent
I wish I had time to watch more movies (I wish I had a better time budget)
I miss being a little kid
I’ve been to a public pool recently
Summer is my favorite time of the year
Winter is my favorite time of the year
I have a favorite holiday
I have a favorite holiday other than Christmas
I’ve been to a concert recently this year (not much has happened this year :L)
I drive
I have my own car
My room is almost always messy
I’m listening to music right now
Music helps me work
The last person I texted was a boy
I want a new phone really bad
I love cartoons family guy.
The last thing I drank was water
I used to play with barbies
I collect something (paychecks and movie tickets, and the things you get in christmas crackers)
I’ve been to a carnival recently
I know what syncopation is
I need to charge my phone
I have a huge crush on someone right now
I’ve kissed someone within the last 24 hours
I’m still in my pyjamas
I have to go to school tomorrow
I need to clean something
I’ve hurt myself on purpose
I’ve thrown up on purpose
I’ve broken a bone
I’ve eaten something weird
I’m an extremely picky eater
I’ve been out to eat recently
I love going to the mall
I hate big groups
I remember the last party I went to (i guess last night sorta counta)
I’m on the phone right now
I’m watching tv right now
I’m eating right now
I’m on the phone, watching tv, and eating right now
People say I’m funny
People say I’m pretty (only you)
I’ve been told that I have gorgeous eyes
I need new clothes really badly
My hair is up right now
I need to shave my legs
I remember the last time I went to the doctor
I actually use my locker at school (its always full of year before stuff though :L)
I get good grades
I have a MySpace
I showered last night
I spy with my little eye something that is green
I spy with my little eye something that is round
I spy with my little eye something that is broken
I’ve had surgery
Someone I know has died
Someone I know has had cancer (no one told me he had cancer until he passed away 2 weeks ago)
It’s past my bedtime
I’ve moved before
I’ve moved 4+ times
I’ve gotten something removed
People tell me that I have good hair
People tell me that they like my clothes
I wish I had some money right now
I have a job (one shift in 3 weeks is NOTAJOB)
I need a job
I actually got a stupid class ring
I’m listening to someone talking right now
I wish I could talk to the boy I like right now
I’ve kissed someone in front of my parents
I’ve kissed someone on New Year’s (haha)
I love Halloween
I remember the last time I tripped (yesterday)
I can see a picture of me from where I’m sitting
I can see my reflection from where I’m sitting
I’m kinda scared of the dark
It’s hard to sleep with the door open
It’s hard to sleep without a blanket
It’s morning
I played soccer when I was little
I played basketball when I was little
My ears are pierced
My belly button is pierced
I plan on going to college
I plan on getting married
I plan on having some kids
I babysit
I still get an allowance
I curse a lot
I got so drunk last night (everyone else did :L)
I’ve been to a wedding recently
I’ve met someone special on vacation (special only because i wrote part of my story about them)
I have an accent
I know someone who has been homeschooled
I know someone in a band
I can sing really well (i can singstar :L)
I can dance really well
I suck at math
I’ve never slow danced with anyone
I suck at spelling
I recycle
I am pro-choice
I know some rednecks
I want to get a tattoo
I want to get a new piercing
I hate MTV and VH1
I miss an ex
I still love an ex
I’ve slapped someone
I’ve punched someone
I’ve been told that I have a nice butt
I think my boobs are too small
I wish I could lose some weight
I can play the guitar
I can speak another language
I am fluent in another language
I can play the piano
I’ve been told that I can’t dance
I’m a cheerleader
I have a sweet tattoo
I have a sweet facial piercing
I need to practice something
I want to go to Mexico
I want to go to Canada
I’ve traveled across the country
I live on the east coast
I went to the beach last summer
I remember the last time I was insanely sunburned
I like to waste time
I like to sleep
I think I’m going to get asked out soon
I keep a journal
I don’t remember the last dream I had
My first kiss kinda sucked
I think smoking cigarettes is gross
I’m wearing something that belongs to someone else
My mom fixed the last meal I had
I’ve never gotten my nails done
I should be doing homework right now
I’m adopted
I love sappy movies
I love horror movies
I love musicals
I’ve seen a broadway show
The last person I hugged was my mom
All of my grandparents are alive
I miss my boyfriend
I haven’t talked to my best friend all day
People tell me that I’m short
Sometimes my socks don’t match
I can’t wait till my birthday
I’m a procrastinator
I’m not like everyone else
I like strawberries
I like thunderstorms
Someone’s mad at me right now
I hate when people are rude
I’m an optimist
My first relationship ended badly
I love when boys hold doors open
I’ve kissed 2+ people in one day
I’ve had a boy sleep over at my house
I bite my nails
I’ve been caught doing drugs
I’ve been caught cheating
I haven’t been to Disneyland/Disneyworld
I’ve passed out from drinking
I get angry easily
I’m laid back
I hate most girls
I love getting new shoes
I hate Chinese food
I don’t remember the last time I was grounded
I’ve been in love before
I’ve been cheated on
There are certain songs that remind me of my ex
I gave someone their first kiss
I straighten my hair more often than I should
I’ve been to a funeral this year (this year is very small, but i did last year)
I am insanely hungry right now
Welcome to 2010!!
2010.
It's so... big, and scary.
And I think, something's meant to be different.
But it doesn't feel any different.
I'm just as scared and confused about everything.
And a list of stupid resolutions aren't going to change anything.
And I've already broken the nailbiting one. At about 1 o'clock this morning.
---
And... I miss my family.
No one's ever around. Between work, and visiting my grandfather, and making plans... we just don't see each other. And now whenever we do see each other, we all tell each other off. (Although I did lose $75)
I think I'll enjoy our holiday in a few days.
Simply because there will be no distractions, we'll get to be us. The whole time.
...that will be nice.
---
I told you I was scared. And you comforted me. You told me I didn't have to be scared. You told me that sometimes I should just give in, and do what I want. But that's even scarier. And this is something that has been scaring and confusing me since we started joking about your birthday. And I haven't told you, but I feel like if I don't give in, I'll disappoint you too much. And I always disappoint you. And I'm sick of it. And I wish I could make you happy without everyone in the world thinking differently of me. And usually, I can. But sometimes...
---
I avoid some people on purpose
I’ve thought about cheating (but you brought it up)
I hate the way I look most of the time
I actually like the way I look most of the time
I’ve been swimming in an ocean
I’ve been swimming in a lake
I have a sibling
I have pets
I’ve been on vacation recently
I love meeting new people
I am insanely shy
I’m on a sports team
My best friend is a boy (one of)
I play music
I don’t remember the last time I mailed a letter
I talk on the phone almost every night
I drink milk almost every day
I’ve kissed someone in a bathroom
I’ve kissed someone in bed
I’ve kissed someone at school
I’ve kissed someone I just met
I’ve kissed a good friend
I like to read
I like to watch tv
I couldn’t care less about video games
I hate my mom and dad
I’ve had a crush on someone for 5+ years
I’ve never asked someone out
I can touch my nose with my tongue
I love pizza
I actually love going grocery shopping
I love to travel
I’ve been to another continent
I wish I had time to watch more movies (I wish I had a better time budget)
I miss being a little kid
I’ve been to a public pool recently
Summer is my favorite time of the year
Winter is my favorite time of the year
I have a favorite holiday
I have a favorite holiday other than Christmas
I’ve been to a concert recently this year (not much has happened this year :L)
I drive
I have my own car
My room is almost always messy
I’m listening to music right now
Music helps me work
The last person I texted was a boy
I want a new phone really bad
I love cartoons family guy.
The last thing I drank was water
I used to play with barbies
I collect something (paychecks and movie tickets, and the things you get in christmas crackers)
I’ve been to a carnival recently
I know what syncopation is
I need to charge my phone
I have a huge crush on someone right now
I’ve kissed someone within the last 24 hours
I’m still in my pyjamas
I have to go to school tomorrow
I need to clean something
I’ve hurt myself on purpose
I’ve thrown up on purpose
I’ve broken a bone
I’ve eaten something weird
I’m an extremely picky eater
I’ve been out to eat recently
I love going to the mall
I hate big groups
I remember the last party I went to (i guess last night sorta counta)
I’m on the phone right now
I’m watching tv right now
I’m eating right now
I’m on the phone, watching tv, and eating right now
People say I’m funny
People say I’m pretty (only you)
I’ve been told that I have gorgeous eyes
I need new clothes really badly
My hair is up right now
I need to shave my legs
I remember the last time I went to the doctor
I actually use my locker at school (its always full of year before stuff though :L)
I get good grades
I have a MySpace
I showered last night
I spy with my little eye something that is green
I spy with my little eye something that is round
I spy with my little eye something that is broken
I’ve had surgery
Someone I know has died
Someone I know has had cancer (no one told me he had cancer until he passed away 2 weeks ago)
It’s past my bedtime
I’ve moved before
I’ve moved 4+ times
I’ve gotten something removed
People tell me that I have good hair
People tell me that they like my clothes
I wish I had some money right now
I have a job (one shift in 3 weeks is NOTAJOB)
I need a job
I actually got a stupid class ring
I’m listening to someone talking right now
I wish I could talk to the boy I like right now
I’ve kissed someone in front of my parents
I’ve kissed someone on New Year’s (haha)
I love Halloween
I remember the last time I tripped (yesterday)
I can see a picture of me from where I’m sitting
I can see my reflection from where I’m sitting
I’m kinda scared of the dark
It’s hard to sleep with the door open
It’s hard to sleep without a blanket
It’s morning
I played soccer when I was little
I played basketball when I was little
My ears are pierced
My belly button is pierced
I plan on going to college
I plan on getting married
I plan on having some kids
I babysit
I still get an allowance
I curse a lot
I got so drunk last night (everyone else did :L)
I’ve been to a wedding recently
I’ve met someone special on vacation (special only because i wrote part of my story about them)
I have an accent
I know someone who has been homeschooled
I know someone in a band
I can sing really well (i can singstar :L)
I can dance really well
I suck at math
I’ve never slow danced with anyone
I suck at spelling
I recycle
I am pro-choice
I know some rednecks
I want to get a tattoo
I want to get a new piercing
I hate MTV and VH1
I miss an ex
I still love an ex
I’ve slapped someone
I’ve punched someone
I’ve been told that I have a nice butt
I think my boobs are too small
I wish I could lose some weight
I can play the guitar
I can speak another language
I am fluent in another language
I can play the piano
I’ve been told that I can’t dance
I’m a cheerleader
I have a sweet tattoo
I have a sweet facial piercing
I need to practice something
I want to go to Mexico
I want to go to Canada
I’ve traveled across the country
I live on the east coast
I went to the beach last summer
I remember the last time I was insanely sunburned
I like to waste time
I like to sleep
I think I’m going to get asked out soon
I keep a journal
I don’t remember the last dream I had
My first kiss kinda sucked
I think smoking cigarettes is gross
I’m wearing something that belongs to someone else
My mom fixed the last meal I had
I’ve never gotten my nails done
I should be doing homework right now
I’m adopted
I love sappy movies
I love horror movies
I love musicals
I’ve seen a broadway show
The last person I hugged was my mom
All of my grandparents are alive
I miss my boyfriend
I haven’t talked to my best friend all day
People tell me that I’m short
Sometimes my socks don’t match
I can’t wait till my birthday
I’m a procrastinator
I’m not like everyone else
I like strawberries
I like thunderstorms
Someone’s mad at me right now
I hate when people are rude
I’m an optimist
My first relationship ended badly
I love when boys hold doors open
I’ve kissed 2+ people in one day
I’ve had a boy sleep over at my house
I bite my nails
I’ve been caught doing drugs
I’ve been caught cheating
I haven’t been to Disneyland/Disneyworld
I’ve passed out from drinking
I get angry easily
I’m laid back
I hate most girls
I love getting new shoes
I hate Chinese food
I don’t remember the last time I was grounded
I’ve been in love before
I’ve been cheated on
There are certain songs that remind me of my ex
I gave someone their first kiss
I straighten my hair more often than I should
I’ve been to a funeral this year (this year is very small, but i did last year)
I am insanely hungry right now
Welcome to 2010!!
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Things I probably won't do next year
I'm finally getting around to writing a list of my resolutions.
Well, I will be :L
This could take a while. (Edit: It took 3 days :L)
1. Learn to love myself despite my past.
I think that's the hardest one, maybe. It's something I've failed at for a while now. And I keep trying too. Well, halfheartedly. I mean, could there ever be something I do or think or feel that is unforgiveable? Something that means I can never love myself? What if that something has already happened?
2. Do things for myself, not anyone else
I don't usually do what I want, I do what I should do, or what other people want me to do. And then, most of the time, it's not what they want anyway, it's what they think they want. So I may as well do what I want, at least for some of the time.
3. Eat less junk food
Which is something I've had on the list for a few years now. But it never seems to happen. In fact, if anything, I'm getting worse as I get older. But I'm gonna try again. Or you know, maybe I'll excercise, or somethign like that.
4. Actually stop biting my fingernails
I've lost count of the times this has been on my list. My nails are too weak to grow now because of how much I've bitten them. I really need to stop... eventually.
5. Smile everyday
I was going to put "smile more" but Nikki says I smile too much as it is. I don't think there is such thing as smiling too much. And I don't think she sees me all the time. Then again, a couple of months ago she told me she thought I was depressed. Go figure. Anyways, I just want to smile everyday. Not too much, not too little.
6. Admit when I'm wrong
I don't do that half as often as I should. I don't like being wrong. I really really dislike being wrong. But I should still admit to it. And I'm going to start.
7. Don't sleep until I've done something good for someone else
Because when I'm laying in bed at night, I want to focus on the good things I've done that day. The good things for others. So I'm going to do good for others.
---
Oh, and I read a new years resolution from someone who wanted to get more traffic to her site in the new year. So I recorded the address, and I haven't looked at the page next year. So if you guys want to, in the new year, head to jessicadelfino.com and try and make her resolution come true, it would be much appreciated =D
Happy New Year sunshines =)
Well, I will be :L
This could take a while. (Edit: It took 3 days :L)
1. Learn to love myself despite my past.
I think that's the hardest one, maybe. It's something I've failed at for a while now. And I keep trying too. Well, halfheartedly. I mean, could there ever be something I do or think or feel that is unforgiveable? Something that means I can never love myself? What if that something has already happened?
2. Do things for myself, not anyone else
I don't usually do what I want, I do what I should do, or what other people want me to do. And then, most of the time, it's not what they want anyway, it's what they think they want. So I may as well do what I want, at least for some of the time.
3. Eat less junk food
Which is something I've had on the list for a few years now. But it never seems to happen. In fact, if anything, I'm getting worse as I get older. But I'm gonna try again. Or you know, maybe I'll excercise, or somethign like that.
4. Actually stop biting my fingernails
I've lost count of the times this has been on my list. My nails are too weak to grow now because of how much I've bitten them. I really need to stop... eventually.
5. Smile everyday
I was going to put "smile more" but Nikki says I smile too much as it is. I don't think there is such thing as smiling too much. And I don't think she sees me all the time. Then again, a couple of months ago she told me she thought I was depressed. Go figure. Anyways, I just want to smile everyday. Not too much, not too little.
6. Admit when I'm wrong
I don't do that half as often as I should. I don't like being wrong. I really really dislike being wrong. But I should still admit to it. And I'm going to start.
7. Don't sleep until I've done something good for someone else
Because when I'm laying in bed at night, I want to focus on the good things I've done that day. The good things for others. So I'm going to do good for others.
---
Oh, and I read a new years resolution from someone who wanted to get more traffic to her site in the new year. So I recorded the address, and I haven't looked at the page next year. So if you guys want to, in the new year, head to jessicadelfino.com and try and make her resolution come true, it would be much appreciated =D
Happy New Year sunshines =)
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
A plea
This is my 350th post. Yep, it's a big one, sort of. But I'm not writing it. Brady is. I want you to hear her story.
My name is brandy. And I have a blog.
And a plea.
I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.
He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.
The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.
As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.
I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).
I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.
I love you guys, thanks for reading.
My name is brandy. And I have a blog.
And a plea.
I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.
He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.
The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.
As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.
I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).
I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.
I love you guys, thanks for reading.
Friday, 25 December 2009
Reflection
My family celebrated Chrstimas yesterday, so today is just another day to me.
But have a great Christmas guys, and come read this tomorrow.
Confession #44: I want to go back in time and do better. I want to make you happier. You were always so sad, and I didn't know what to do.
"I sat on my floor this evening and stared at myself. I have no idea who was looking back at me and it was the most terrifying thing I have ever encountered"
But have a great Christmas guys, and come read this tomorrow.
Confession #44: I want to go back in time and do better. I want to make you happier. You were always so sad, and I didn't know what to do.
"I sat on my floor this evening and stared at myself. I have no idea who was looking back at me and it was the most terrifying thing I have ever encountered"
When I'm alone, I rarely smile. – palefacelace
The scary thing is, that quote is true.
Yesterday, I looked in the mirror,
and I didn't recognise the face looking back.
And it's not because I don't know who I am,
it is because I have spent so long afraid of mirrors, and cameras.
That I have no idea what I look like.
And that terrifies me.
You’re all tangled up in other people.
Their worries have become your worries.
Their expectations of you have become
the expectations you have for yourself.
Their dreams are slowly turning into your nightmares.
“I have this fear that one day you’ll finally get a good look at me and
I’m going to disappoint you, cause you’ll see that I’m not as strong or as good as you think I am,
and I’m afraid that it will change the way you think about me.”
I was always waiting...
Thursday, 24 December 2009
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas everyone!
I hope you guys have a fab day, and get stacks of prezzies. And eat lots too, without feeling bad about it, because it’s Christmas. And have lots of chocolate (do that every day).
And I have to work today. =( But then, it’s not that long, and people will be in a happy, Christmassy mood. So it’s not so bad. Smile at strangers today! And tomorrow! The only time of year they ALL smile back.
And, I’m not really sure what Christmas is all about for you, but for me, it’s family. So celebrate family! Or like, Jesus or something :L
Alright, well, MerryChristmas! Enjoy the song =D
Come they told me
Pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see
Pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring
Pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the kIng
Pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum
So to honor Him
Pa rum pum pum pum
When we come
Little baby
Pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too
Pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring
Pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give our King
Pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum
Shall I play for you
Pa rum pum pum pum
On my drum
Mary nodded
Pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time
Pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him
Pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him
Pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum
Then He smiled at me
Pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
Still shamelessly flogging smithmag. =)
Resolution: this year, keep my resolutions - KaleidoscopeEyes
Ok, so, as we all know, I am a huge 6 word memoir fan. No? We hadn't figured that out yet? Hmm.
Anyways! They're doing this thingo this year about 6 word resolutions.
So... I thought I'd tell you some of my favourites.
And ask you, very kindly, to comment with one of your new year's resolutions.
I'll post my resolutions for the new year another time. -) (<- cyclops) No complaining. At least until March - Janet3457
Please don't stop falling in love. - Nadia
I'll act more and react less. - Joshua J
Get more than six words published. - Lacy Foland
More outdoors and less computer clicking. - Nancy L
Admit once my wife is "right." - Robert Epstein
Stop counting carbohydrates; start counting blessings. - Susan Breeden
I will bend and not break.
I will stop mocking sparkly vampires - RhondaParish
Get off computer, go to sleep. - Liz
Truthfully answer, "What do you want?" - Katie
Give up: procrastination, confrontation, frustration, convention. - Katie
This year, I'm only saying yes. - quin browne
Maybe I'll stop saying maybe... maybe - TaNkGirrrl
Finish novel. Find agent. Get published. - Rebeca Schiller
Maybe just floss regularly, for starters. - Nancy L
Will do more "wants", fewer "shoulds" - Christine Jungle
To worry less and love more. - SabrinaAnna
To see ordinary days as treasures. - Lori Thatcher
Make my family smile more often. - David L Tamarin
Resolution: To make better 2011 resolutions. - Micah Schow
Saturday, 19 December 2009
Happy Old Year
Hehe, Lisa's thing was fun.
We made lists of all the people we've ever liked (including primary and onesies) and my list was only 10 people (include one guy twice, and one guy that I only liked for an hour :L)
Lucy had like 30 something :L and amy had 17!
And Nina forgot Robert on her list :L
And speaking on Nina, I stole her quiz.
THIS YEAR I.
( ) stayed single for the whole year
(x) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
( ) kissed in the rain
(X) had your heart broken
( ) broke someone else’s heart
(x) had a stalker
(X) went over the minutes on your cell phone (attempting to spend $22)
(X) had a good relationship with someone
(x) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(X) have a relationship with someone you’ll never forget
( ) done something you’ve regretted
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe
(X) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(X) posted a blog
(X) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
( ) threw a surprise party
(X) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
( ) visited a foreign country
( ) cut in a line of waiting people
( ) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
(X) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you (MICKEY BEAR!! D=)
(x) broke a promise
(X) lied
( ) went behind your parents back
(X) cried over a broken heart
(X) disappointed someone close
(X) hid a secret
(X) pretended to be happy
( ) slept under the stars
(x) kept your new years resolution
( ) forgot your new years resolution
(X) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
(X) changed your outlook on life
(X) sat home all day doing nothing (story of my life)
( ) pretended to be sick
( ) left the country
( ) almost died
( ) given up something important to you
( ) lost something expensive
(X) learned something new about yourself
( ) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(X) made a change in your life
( ) found out who your true friends were
(X) met great people
(X) stayed up til sunrise
(X) Cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(X) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
( ) had a high cell phone bill
(X) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
(X) went to the beach with (some of) your best friend(s)
( ) saw a celebrity
(X) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(X) became closer with a lot of people
We made lists of all the people we've ever liked (including primary and onesies) and my list was only 10 people (include one guy twice, and one guy that I only liked for an hour :L)
Lucy had like 30 something :L and amy had 17!
And Nina forgot Robert on her list :L
And speaking on Nina, I stole her quiz.
THIS YEAR I.
( ) stayed single for the whole year
(x) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
( ) kissed in the rain
(X) had your heart broken
( ) broke someone else’s heart
(x) had a stalker
(X) went over the minutes on your cell phone (attempting to spend $22)
(X) had a good relationship with someone
(x) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(X) have a relationship with someone you’ll never forget
( ) done something you’ve regretted
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe
(X) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(X) posted a blog
(X) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
( ) threw a surprise party
(X) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
( ) visited a foreign country
( ) cut in a line of waiting people
( ) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
(X) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you (MICKEY BEAR!! D=)
(x) broke a promise
(X) lied
( ) went behind your parents back
(X) cried over a broken heart
(X) disappointed someone close
(X) hid a secret
(X) pretended to be happy
( ) slept under the stars
(x) kept your new years resolution
( ) forgot your new years resolution
(X) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
(X) changed your outlook on life
(X) sat home all day doing nothing (story of my life)
( ) pretended to be sick
( ) left the country
( ) almost died
( ) given up something important to you
( ) lost something expensive
(X) learned something new about yourself
( ) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(X) made a change in your life
( ) found out who your true friends were
(X) met great people
(X) stayed up til sunrise
(X) Cried over the silliest thing
( ) was never home on weekends
( ) got into a car accident
(X) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
( ) had a high cell phone bill
(X) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
(X) went to the beach with (some of) your best friend(s)
( ) saw a celebrity
(X) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(X) became closer with a lot of people
Thursday, 17 December 2009
IT HURTS
It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts
My stomach is bloody killing me
Owowowowow
It’s like a really sharp pain, and then, I feel like im gonna throw up
And you know what the best thing for nausea is?
LEMONADE. I know this from experience.
But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Because I have PHARYNGITIS!!!!
And im not allowed cold drinks for 3 days!!!!!!!!!!
Owowowowoowow
Oh wow, crying actually helps ease the pain.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Spread the joy
Confession #3: I'm not sure if I'm more scared that I am or am not ready
“The greatest feeling in the world
is to be around someone
who wants to hold you,
kiss your forehead,
be around you,
call you at night,
and see you smile
But I think what’s better than that,
is finding someone who does it all,
because he wants to see you happy.”
"Woke up just to see you" - WhatTheWorldDoesn'tKnow
I always say yes. That's why we've planned our wedding.
All I need now is a ring. =P
Oh, and such a tyranny it is, too.
Conscious thought is so restraining, it means things have to add up and make sense.
Sometimes, I don't want things in my head to make sense.
That's when I listen to music.
And that's why I've picked our perfect lullaby
Hehe, your eyes are beautiful darling.
They shine so beautifully in sunlight.
And they change colour in different lighting.
And they have a little shimmer in them, when you're really happy.
Like, when you smile your happy smile.
With your fang over your mouth =p
I consider myself a positive person.
I mean, I'm generally pretty sunshiney.
I spread joy where I can.
And I believe that I smile to a stranger can spread through the world.
If you walk past me on the street, I will wave.
If I serve you at work, we'll be best friends in under 30 seconds.
And gradually, I'm going to make the world happier.
Starting with me. =)
Yes, I love rainy days. I love rainy nights too.
Sleeping to rain is the most peaceful experience ever.
Hearing the pitter patter of rain against my window makes me happy.
Blackouts are good too. Because they mean candles.
I'm a big candle lover.
Candles make me feel safe. =)
Wish you were here,
Saturday, 12 December 2009
Circles of Life
SEVEN CIRCLES
CIRCLE ONE: THE OUTSIDE
1. What's your name: ebony 2. How tall are you: 167cm 3. What color are your eyes: brown 4. What color is your hair: brown 5. Are you Male or Female: female 6. What is your best feature (physically): err, I don’t know 7. What's your shoe size: 6/7 8. Glasses, yes or no: yeah, but I don’t wear them *looks guilty* 9. Did you ever have braces: no 10. On a typical day you are wearing: jeans and a tshirt. Or a uniform. 11. When you go to bed you're wearing: pjs 12. work out/exercise about how often: never
CIRCLE TWO: MUSIC
1. Name five of your favorite bands: in flames, westlife, the monkees, escape the fate, the corrs,
2. Name five of your favorite singers:
3. Name three songs you are currently playing nonstop: no playing anything nonstop. 4. Name one song (give lyrics) that best describes your life right now: a place in this world “I dont know what i want, So dont ask me, cause im still trying to figure it out. Don't know what's down this road, im just walking. Trying to see through the rain coming down. Even though im not the only one, that feels the way i do. Im alone, on my own, and that's all i know. I'll be strong, i'll be wrong, Oh, but life goes on. Oh, im just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.” 5. Name one song (give lyrics) that best describes your life one year ago: err, I don’t really know 6. When you're driving, what are the preset stations on your radio: uhm, vega, and nova. 7. What's the last CD you bought: u2 greatest hits for my daddy.
(ok, that a lie, but it’s the second last. And I cant tell you until I give it to the person it’s for)
8. Was the last CD you burned an actual CD or a mix: westlife cd for corinne
9. Name one song/band/singer you're embarrassed to like but do:
CIRCLE THREE: MOVIES/TELEVISION
1. Name your favorite actor: mark harmon <333 2. Name your favorite actress: keira knightley 3. Name your favorite television show right now: star trek :L 4. Name five really cool movies you've recently seen: over her dead body, playing for keeps, the time traveller’s wife, the surrogates, cant remember :L 5. Your favorite canceled television show: Gilmore girls 7. Name one movie you wish you hadn't wasted time/money on recently: nothing 8. You would never watch a movie starring: there noone that bad 9. Favorite candy/food to watch movies with: choc top! 10. Three favorite tv channels: ten, scifi, comedy 11. Favorite reality show: don’t like reality tv 12. Favorite character on a reality show: see above.
CIRCLE FOUR: WORD ASSOCIATION (Write the first word/thing/person that comes into your head when you read this word:)
1. coffee: caffeine 2. dog: toffee 3. slut: minishirt :L 4. candy: Audrey anderson 5. pole: dance 6. ocean: blue 7. brave: gryffindor 8. loving: victor 9. cookie: choc chip 10. death: grim reaper 11. life: yellow 12. child: pigtails
CIRCLE FIVE: WHICH WOULD YOU PREFER: (bold the one you prefer)
1. Ten guilty men go free OR One innocent man goes to jail for life
2. Eaten by a lion OR Eaten by thousands of small insects
3. A life of contentment without love OR A life with love and heartache
4. Skydiving from a plane OR Bungee jumping off a bridge
6. No television OR No music
7. No more pizza, ever OR No more chocolate, ever
8. A trip to Europe OR a trip to
CIRCLE SIX: THE LOVE LIFE
1. Are you currently in a relationship: yes 2. Are you currently looking/interested in someone: no 3. Are you a virgin: yes 4. If yes, how long do you plan to be one: till I stop lying to myself. 5. How many times have you been "in love": twice 6. Looking back, how do you feel about that person(s) now: confused 7. Name three things (physically) you look for in someone: beautiful smile, talkative eyes, beauty 8. Name three things (mentally/emotionally) you look for in someone: kind, chivalrous, sensitive 9. Biggest turn offs include: thinking you’re better than you are 10. Your ideal date would be: building a sandcastle 11. You want to get married, where, when, how: park/beach. 12. Does anyone have feelings for you right now that you don't return: I wouldn’t know.
CIRCLE SEVEN: THE FRIENDS (of your friends, who would you say is:)
1. The one you immediately go to with a problem: jenny 2. The most rational: joannie 3. The funniest: judy 4. The one you spend the most time on the phone with: pradeepti (free calls!) 5. The craziest (but in a good way): amy 6. The most honest: jenny 7. The purest: jenny 8. The smartest: judy 9. The most athletic: amy 10. The most compassionate: jenny 11. The one most likely to get thrown in jail and why: I don’t know 12. The last one that said "I love you": I don’t remember
Deadly sin.
7 SINS SURVEY
Wrath
[x]Sworn at your parents?
[x]Hated them?
[x]Been furious with a friend?
[x]Angry at someone for no reason?
[ ]Hated a friend?
[ ]Held a grudge?
[x]Sought revenge?
[x]Yelled at a friend?
[ ]Hit a wall in rage?
Greed
[ ]Had desire for excess money?
[x]Wanted more of something when you had enough?
[ ]Kept to yourself instead of sharing?
[x]Wanted more than you have?
Pride
[x]Bragged to someone?
[x]Had an ego trip?
[ ]Felt better than those around you?
[ ]Felt "too good" to do something?
[x]Felt like you didn't need offered help?
[x]Talked about yourself too much?
[x]Basked in your accomplishments?
[ ]Felt like nobody was as good as you?
Envy
[x]Wanted something a friend owned?
[x]Felt jealous of a friends talents?
[x]Felt envious of someones accomplishments?
[x]Or of their grades?
[ ]Or their salary and or amount of cash?
[ ]What about someone else's clothes?
[x]Appearance or looks?
Lust
[ ]Ever liked a friends bf/gf?
[ ]Had dirty thoughts of someone you werent dating?
[ ]Been in a suggestive situation with a friend?
If so, whom?
[x]Had dirty thoughts of your bf/gf?
[ ]Been to 1st base?
[ ]2nd?
[ ]3rd?
[ ]4th?
I don’t know what the bases are :L My parents were arguing about it the other night, and we came to no conclusion.
Sloth
[ ]Put off a huge project till the last day?
[x]Planned your day but not acted upon it?
[x]Thought of something but didn't feel like doing it?
[ ]Ignored homework in a class your failing?
[x]Told yourself "I'll do it later"?
[ ]Slept in past noon?
[x]Sat on the sofa for hours on a beautiful day?
[x]Not wanted to do anything physical?
Gluttony
[x]Pigged out?
[x]Till your stomach hurt?
[ ]Blown your paycheck in one day?
[ ]Wasted your money?
[ ] Spent a lot on yourself but not others?
[x] Hogged something?
[x]Kept doing something even though you told yourself to stop?
Friday, 11 December 2009
Fabulous
I may or may not have just published the last post. Approminately 4.7 seconds ago.
I don't that has any relevance to when the next can be started, though, and I'm in the need of a mood swing. So I'm going to be lovey dovey =D=DD. You guys really don't have to read this :L
And sometimes I leave because you're hurting me with your words. and sometimes I leave because I don't want to hurt you with mine. Sometimes I just don't want you to see that I'm crying. Sometimes I leave because the halftime bell rang. Sometimes I leave because we have to go to class. But every single time I walk away, I just wish you'd follow.
You are a beautiful, amazing, selfless human being. And no matter how many times I tell you, you will never believe me. And you maintain that I am embarrassed by you. But you are the best thing to ever happen to me. And I know that I will never deserve you (I'm just hoping you never notice).
And you will never be perfect, because you are perfect for me. Perfect people don't have conversations with their eyebrows, or tell stupid jokes, or talk for hours about trees, and coolosity, and music. Perfect people aren't obsessed with their computers, and the highlight of their week isn't kicking their brother's arse at guitar hero. So thank you so much for never being perfect. Just perfect for me.
Sometimes I think I love you too much, because when you're not there, I get very depressed. Things hurt more when you're not there to hold my hand or hug me. Life can be very painful. Life without you is even worse.
Chocolate
Confession #1:I'm not really ashamed of myself. I just know that you're ashamed of me. And that hurts.
"Love always find a path, if it doesn't, wasn't Love. "
Today I am infinite.
I went a tiny little HUGE bit high this arvo after Prad's party.
What? Me? High? Never!
But yea, I was just alittle psycho.
Because I had this song stuck in my head.
And it made me think of you.
And thinking of you makes me smile.
And then I sneezed twice.
And then I just went nuts :L:L
I love you.
I have been trying to convince myself not to rant about you but OMGSH YOU ARE SUCH AN ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT. I mean, yeah, I like talking to you, sure. But not when you're like that! Because then I feel all bleh on the insides, and then I start questioning my moral fibre (ty hp), and then I go batshit crazy. And it's all because you feel the need to be such a bloody prick and mention things that you know make people feel uncomfortable, but that's why you do it. Because you're crazy and twisted, and want to see how people take it, and how they will react, and I gave you a positive reaction, sure, but I didn't get it.
...And I don't think anyone else even noticed.
SPEAKING of not noticing things.
What. The. Hell?
I can't believe that you are so coldhearted and selfabsorbed to not NOTICE. And worse than that, you told me off. You didn't give a shit, and THEN YOU TOLD ME OFF. Which just backs up my point and it makes me like you less, for not caring at all about me. But I feel GUILTY for liking you less. Because you make me feel like it's my fault that you don't care. And now I keep questioning myself EVERY SINGLE SECOND because I feel like I OWE YOU.
And you know what, you didn't even notice the TOTAL INEQUALITY let alone CARE. No one noticed. No one cared. I can't believe you're all such arseholes.
You are so bloody up yourself. I mean, seriously, you think you're some amazing popular intelligent person and that you deserve all this crap. And truthfully, you don't deserve it. Because quite frankly you're an idiot. And you piss people off. And your friends have started to bitch about you. Yeah, no kidding. And I can't help but join in...
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
---
Tell me what to do, and I will do it. I will make it right I promise. Your wish is my command. Tell me how to fix everything. Tell me how to deal with it. STOP TELLING ME THAT YOU DON'T LIKE HOW THINGS ARE, AND TELL ME HOW YOU WANT THEM TO BE. Just talk to me. Stop upsetting me, stop making me cry. Stop telling me how upset you are. And tell me what to do about it.
"Love always find a path, if it doesn't, wasn't Love. "
"Fuck Prince Charming. Be my Spider-man?" – JustAFaceInTheCrowd
please don't be my spiderman. be my chocolate. and i will be your nintendo 64.
Today I am infinite.
I went a tiny little HUGE bit high this arvo after Prad's party.
What? Me? High? Never!
But yea, I was just alittle psycho.
Because I had this song stuck in my head.
And it made me think of you.
And thinking of you makes me smile.
And then I sneezed twice.
And then I just went nuts :L:L
I love you.
I have been trying to convince myself not to rant about you but OMGSH YOU ARE SUCH AN ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT. I mean, yeah, I like talking to you, sure. But not when you're like that! Because then I feel all bleh on the insides, and then I start questioning my moral fibre (ty hp), and then I go batshit crazy. And it's all because you feel the need to be such a bloody prick and mention things that you know make people feel uncomfortable, but that's why you do it. Because you're crazy and twisted, and want to see how people take it, and how they will react, and I gave you a positive reaction, sure, but I didn't get it.
...And I don't think anyone else even noticed.
SPEAKING of not noticing things.
What. The. Hell?
I can't believe that you are so coldhearted and selfabsorbed to not NOTICE. And worse than that, you told me off. You didn't give a shit, and THEN YOU TOLD ME OFF. Which just backs up my point and it makes me like you less, for not caring at all about me. But I feel GUILTY for liking you less. Because you make me feel like it's my fault that you don't care. And now I keep questioning myself EVERY SINGLE SECOND because I feel like I OWE YOU.
And you know what, you didn't even notice the TOTAL INEQUALITY let alone CARE. No one noticed. No one cared. I can't believe you're all such arseholes.
You are so bloody up yourself. I mean, seriously, you think you're some amazing popular intelligent person and that you deserve all this crap. And truthfully, you don't deserve it. Because quite frankly you're an idiot. And you piss people off. And your friends have started to bitch about you. Yeah, no kidding. And I can't help but join in...
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
---
Tell me what to do, and I will do it. I will make it right I promise. Your wish is my command. Tell me how to fix everything. Tell me how to deal with it. STOP TELLING ME THAT YOU DON'T LIKE HOW THINGS ARE, AND TELL ME HOW YOU WANT THEM TO BE. Just talk to me. Stop upsetting me, stop making me cry. Stop telling me how upset you are. And tell me what to do about it.
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Free.
Confession#18: Usually, when I get alonetime, I cry. Today, I've been smiling. Thanks for crying with me today. xD
"I think God was drunk and on high when he thought up me"
"I love you. Don't walk away." – Random Ninja
Okay, yeah, I disagree with everything in that picture. =L
Anyways.
I have a feeling that todat is an important day in my life. Because today, everything worked out. Without having any actual schoolwork to do, I managed to successfully balance the other three spheres of life.
And today, I was happy. Things have just been looking up lately. I think Christmas just makes me happy. (Sorry for celebrating Christmas before your birthday darling D=)
I feel like I have the confidence to be me lately. I don't have to lie about who I am, or pretend to be anyone other than myself. I am allowed to love who I am. And I love that about this new me. But I still have the feeling that I'm not the girl I used to be. And she would hate this new me. But she hated herself as well, so maybe she's just difficult to please.
I feel like I can breathe now. I feel like all my troubles have gone away. I think thast resulted from the conversations I've been having lately. I don't feel guilty about anything. I have nothign to hide. Admitting things to myself has been a big help with this. I love feeling so free.
*rare moments of honesty*
#1: it's really quite simple actually. you made me cry. he makes me smile. the choice was obvious.
#2: i want to tell you everything so you can tell me i have nothign to worry about. but what if you don't?
#3: i tried to spend more time with you lately. i hope you notice.
#4: you can say whatever the hell you want to me about my poor attitude to life. but i still smile more.
#5: i still want you to involve me in your conversations. you still hate me. i think i hate you now too.
#6: i think he was right about you and me. not totally seriously, just in a nice, funny way.
#7: when i wake up in the morning, i try to think of ways to make you proud of me. i know that you watch me throughout the day, and please know that you're still alive in my heart. in an ironic way, your death has brought us closer, and i love you more than ever now. i wish you could see me today, i know you really would be proud.
Wish you were here.
"I think God was drunk and on high when he thought up me"
"I love you. Don't walk away." – Random Ninja
Okay, yeah, I disagree with everything in that picture. =L
Anyways.
I have a feeling that todat is an important day in my life. Because today, everything worked out. Without having any actual schoolwork to do, I managed to successfully balance the other three spheres of life.
And today, I was happy. Things have just been looking up lately. I think Christmas just makes me happy. (Sorry for celebrating Christmas before your birthday darling D=)
I feel like I have the confidence to be me lately. I don't have to lie about who I am, or pretend to be anyone other than myself. I am allowed to love who I am. And I love that about this new me. But I still have the feeling that I'm not the girl I used to be. And she would hate this new me. But she hated herself as well, so maybe she's just difficult to please.
I feel like I can breathe now. I feel like all my troubles have gone away. I think thast resulted from the conversations I've been having lately. I don't feel guilty about anything. I have nothign to hide. Admitting things to myself has been a big help with this. I love feeling so free.
*rare moments of honesty*
#1: it's really quite simple actually. you made me cry. he makes me smile. the choice was obvious.
#2: i want to tell you everything so you can tell me i have nothign to worry about. but what if you don't?
#3: i tried to spend more time with you lately. i hope you notice.
#4: you can say whatever the hell you want to me about my poor attitude to life. but i still smile more.
#5: i still want you to involve me in your conversations. you still hate me. i think i hate you now too.
#6: i think he was right about you and me. not totally seriously, just in a nice, funny way.
#7: when i wake up in the morning, i try to think of ways to make you proud of me. i know that you watch me throughout the day, and please know that you're still alive in my heart. in an ironic way, your death has brought us closer, and i love you more than ever now. i wish you could see me today, i know you really would be proud.
Wish you were here.
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