Time is never spare

Just quickly blogging because I have a little bit of spare time before bed.
I'm pretty excited for easter this year, I've bought both my presents awesome chocolate, and having been sharing eggs with everyone at uni. It feels good. :-)
I also love the idea of a few days off to uni to breathe and get ahead and study for exams that are on as soon as we get back.
I'm kind of a bit over people lately... Some people are so pretentious or mean or hypocritical and I don't want to point it out but I don't want to deal with their crap either. I mean, the bullshit isn't as bad at uni as it was it school, but it's still bullshit. I kind of just want to get out of uni, get a job, and get on with my life.
And speaking of getting on with my life, I want to get on with it with you. Two years on and I still get butterflies when you cuddle up to my neck on the way home. The light hitting your eyes still makes my heart skip a beat, and sometimes you look so beautiful I can't help but kiss you. I joke that if I help you with uni, you owe me your career and have to buy me a puppy, but I truly hope that you stay with me long enough to buy a house and a dog and do all the things we dream of doing.
Good night! Happy easter! Go and stuff your faces with chocolate

Catch upp

So, yeah, long time no talky.
What has happened with you Ebony?

Well...

*I did my english assessment and only got 35 minutes for it... because, well, teachers are stupid, and Ms Schultz says I can appeal and blah blah but who can be bothered?
*My enter key is broken, it gets stuck heaps, and I just backspaced stacks of lines
*My whole class pretty much feels crappy about physics considering even the top score in our class for the research task was pretty crap, and the rest are worse.
*I realised I have 4 classes with Richard. Yes, it took me 10 weeks to figure it out.
*I am pretty much screwed for English. Just in general. And should be doing that instead of this. But, ehh.
*Mr Peck likes Tim Minchin. =SS Why must he make me like him? He is not a good person =(
*Ms Schultz makes me feel cared about =) She was all nice and everything to me today when I was sorta freaking out
*English just generally makes me want to cry
*Me and my train people totally gossiped about every teacher in our school today =DD
*My puppy dog had an operation yesterday, and has stitches and stuff, but he'll be okayy.
*Our whole grade pretty much hates their half yearly timetables.
*I just feel tired. I think this long weekend will be very good for me. I look forward to sleep and chocolate. And the easter show with my people =)
*Today is April Fools and everyone was too stressy to notice =L
*Me and Amy stalked Mr Robson for his email =DD Plus I have all my teachers except Dillon's
*Pitt told us about this cool science thingo that I don't think I can go to because I'm going to Tasmania.
*The dragons play tomorrow and this game may determine my happiness for the week :L:L Seriously! We're top of the table!! =D
*I've been listening to a lot of music lately, it makes me happy.
*I keep feeling like studying. Like at the station today, I totally cracked and opened a book :L

Live long and prosper

The lonely people

Confession #68: As we sat there, and we watched, you told me how awful her mother was. How over protective, over bearing, how cruel she was. You told me she wanted too much from her child. And I just laughed a little on the inside.

"Forty years ago, the Beatles asked the world a simple question: they wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My latest theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More precisely, the surgical wing of hospitals. As surgeons, we ignore our own needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and families so we can save other people's friends and families. Which means that, at the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that."

"Nothing will ever please you mom." – tiggerbabyy

Today was a chocolate sort of day. But, as per my resolutions, I didn't have any chocolate. I might have some later.
Today was just a bad day. Everything hurt, sitting down hurt, but getting up hurt more. Moving my head hurt, but focusing on one point hurt more. Everything just hurt.
I feel sick. And I had a bad hair day. Mum woke up and said "what happened to your hair?" Which, is, sorta funny, I guess.
Ugh, I dunno, I'm too tired to care.

Meredith: Just leave me alone.
Derek: I just want to make sure you're alright.
Meredith: No! I'm not alright? Okay? Are you satisfied? I'm not alright. Because you have a wife, and you call me a whore, and our dog died, and now you're looking at me. Stop looking at me.
Derek: I am not looking at you. I am not looking at you.
Meredith: You are looking at me. And you watch me. And Finn has plans. And I like Finn. He's perfect for me, and I'm really trying here to be happy, and I can't breathe. I can't breathe with you looking at me like that so just stop!
Derek: Do you think I want to look at you? That I wouldn't rather be looking at my wife? I'm married. I have responsibilities. She, she doesn't drive me crazy. She doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal. She doesn't make me sick to my stomach thinking about my veterinarian touching her with his hands. Man, I would give anything not to be looking at you.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!

I hope you guys have a fab day, and get stacks of prezzies. And eat lots too, without feeling bad about it, because it’s Christmas. And have lots of chocolate (do that every day).

And I have to work today. =( But then, it’s not that long, and people will be in a happy, Christmassy mood. So it’s not so bad. Smile at strangers today! And tomorrow! The only time of year they ALL smile back.

And, I’m not really sure what Christmas is all about for you, but for me, it’s family. So celebrate family! Or like, Jesus or something :L

Alright, well, MerryChristmas! Enjoy the song =D

Come they told me
Pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see
Pa rum pum pum pum

Our finest gifts we bring
Pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the kIng
Pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum

So to honor Him
Pa rum pum pum pum
When we come

Little baby
Pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too
Pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring
Pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give our King
Pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum

Shall I play for you
Pa rum pum pum pum
On my drum

Mary nodded
Pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time
Pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him
Pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him
Pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum

Then He smiled at me
Pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum

Chocolate

Confession #1:I'm not really ashamed of myself. I just know that you're ashamed of me. And that hurts.

"Love always find a path, if it doesn't, wasn't Love. "

"Fuck Prince Charming. Be my Spider-man?" – JustAFaceInTheCrowd

please don't be my spiderman. be my chocolate. and i will be your nintendo 64.

Today I am infinite.
I went a tiny little HUGE bit high this arvo after Prad's party.
What? Me? High? Never!
But yea, I was just alittle psycho.
Because I had this song stuck in my head.
And it made me think of you.
And thinking of you makes me smile.
And then I sneezed twice.
And then I just went nuts :L:L
I love you.



I have been trying to convince myself not to rant about you but OMGSH YOU ARE SUCH AN ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT. I mean, yeah, I like talking to you, sure. But not when you're like that! Because then I feel all bleh on the insides, and then I start questioning my moral fibre (ty hp), and then I go batshit crazy. And it's all because you feel the need to be such a bloody prick and mention things that you know make people feel uncomfortable, but that's why you do it. Because you're crazy and twisted, and want to see how people take it, and how they will react, and I gave you a positive reaction, sure, but I didn't get it.
...And I don't think anyone else even noticed.



SPEAKING of not noticing things.
What. The. Hell?
I can't believe that you are so coldhearted and selfabsorbed to not NOTICE. And worse than that, you told me off. You didn't give a shit, and THEN YOU TOLD ME OFF. Which just backs up my point and it makes me like you less, for not caring at all about me. But I feel GUILTY for liking you less. Because you make me feel like it's my fault that you don't care. And now I keep questioning myself EVERY SINGLE SECOND because I feel like I OWE YOU.
And you know what, you didn't even notice the TOTAL INEQUALITY let alone CARE. No one noticed. No one cared. I can't believe you're all such arseholes.



You are so bloody up yourself. I mean, seriously, you think you're some amazing popular intelligent person and that you deserve all this crap. And truthfully, you don't deserve it. Because quite frankly you're an idiot. And you piss people off. And your friends have started to bitch about you. Yeah, no kidding. And I can't help but join in...



I don't know what I'm supposed to do.




---


Tell me what to do, and I will do it. I will make it right I promise. Your wish is my command. Tell me how to fix everything. Tell me how to deal with it. STOP TELLING ME THAT YOU DON'T LIKE HOW THINGS ARE, AND TELL ME HOW YOU WANT THEM TO BE. Just talk to me. Stop upsetting me, stop making me cry. Stop telling me how upset you are. And tell me what to do about it.

Karen is cool!

"Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticise others"

Confession #35: I can't spell criticise, or occassionally. =S

"Someone is always better than you" - soulcages



Today's post is inspired by Karen. She is my bloggy twin. She makes me smile. =) And she thinks I have sexy legs =D



I can't swallow a tablet or whistle. But my sister can't use a canopener, and my mum can't roll an R. And maybe you can't click, or swim, or ride a bike, but it doesn't really matter. There's more to life than being able to click, and it's time we appreciated the important things.
You know what? I give awesome hugs.
And my sister is an amazingly loyal friend.
And you guys are reading my blog!
And that's something all in itself.
Thank you =)



At first she didn't really know what she was getting herself into. She didn't mean to fall in love... not really. But then he started being all amazing and wonderful, and telling her she was special, and making her feel worthwhile. And... after a little while, she started believeing him, until eventually, she couldn't survive without hearing what he had to say. And at some point in time, it went beyond wanting to hear good things about herself, she just wanted to hear what he was going to say next. She just wanted him to know that he was beautiful too. She was just in love with him.



He tells her everyday that she is beautiful. Everyday. Sometimes she says "so are you", and sometimes she says "maybe I am", but she never really accepts it. It's so hard for her to see. He doesn't think he's beautiful either, and she tells him everyday too. But they make each other want to believe it. And that is something in itself.




I'm actually quite terrified of the truth.
She told me the truth today.
She often does.
It makes me want to kill her.
Sometimes, the truth isn't very pretty.
And sometimes, what people think is the truth, is just half a story they will never bother to hear the ending to.
So she can tell me her stupid twisted idea of the truth.
But she is wrong.
They're all wrong.



I haven't seen butterflies in a while...
I remember seeing a lot of butterflies when I was little. Me and Nikki used to chase them around the back yard. Mum didn't like the white ones so we'd chase them. Everything seemed so colourful when I was little. All of my memories seem so colourful. Maybe, my mind has faded like a photograph.



I just wanted to personally thank you for ruining my life.
I can never look at myself the same.
I can never be proud of myself.
I'm not sure I can ever love myself.
I am scarred by the very thought of you.
I want to wake up and find out it was all a dream.



Sometimes I feel like my opinion doesn't matter for anything.
I care so much about what other people think of me, that I've stopped caring what I think of myself. I don't even know what I think of myself.
I'd rather have everyone else in the world like who I am, than like myself.
And I think I do it all for her.
I've never been good enough.
I've never been right.
I've never lived up to her expectations.
And I want to make someone, anyone proud of me.
But I'm not good enough.
I'll never be good enough.
Because at the end of the day, I don't even like myself.

Chocolate sort of day

Confession #26: I am ashamed of so many different parts of me. Sometimes, I wish I could just start new, and that the past wouldn't determine who I am now.

"The way to be successful is to follow the advice you give others"

"I expect too much. I'm disappointed" - ayanastar



Today is a chocolate sort of day.
I mean, it's dreary and rainy, and I'm home alone. Very alone.
It's one of those days that you don't even bother with any other food, you move straight to the chocolate. And eat. And eat. And eat.
And eventually, you can smile a little bit more, and forget about the weather, and the aloneness, and the looming exams. you forget who and where you are. You simply exist.
And sometimes it's easier to just be sad. It doesn't take any effort, or inspiration. It takes pure and utter laziness, and that is something I have in abundance.
Yes, it's a chocolate sort of day.

---

Ok, so who else did really suckyish in the maths non-calc today?
More to the point who failed the January-May question because they forgot a month?
I forgot March, and Corinne forgot April.
But seriously, March is such a nothing sort of month. NOTHING HAPPENS IN MARCH! WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE IT?

---

She would never say, where she came from
"Yesterday don't matter if it's gone"