Under house arrest

My mother is officially doing anything within her power to keep me from my computer. Thus lack of blogs. (I call in lack, you call it no more blog flooding, but we're on the same page).

This is all I really have time for, I'm going to the city today with dad + nikki, and then we're going to a friend's place for dinner. I don't think I'll get around to blogging about my work getting flooded and having to evacuate. (And the story has such potential too), just make up the details in your head. It's funnier that way…

Here's the thingimo stealed form miish/nina/amy

Ten things I could say to ten different people right now:
1. Thankyou for never taking anything for granted. You are so amazing, and I'm so glad I get to see it.
2. You're beautiful, and sure, people see that now, but I saw it first. Stay beautiful.
3. I'm scared we're drifting. I love you, and everytime we move further apart, it tears me up inside. =(
4. Thanks for being so amazingly you. I really miss you, so much, I hope we have some classes together next year.
5. You don't see me the way I do. You think you see more of me, but you actually only see a part of me. Look deeper.
6. I want to make you happy. Sure, you smile, but so do I. You are such a good friend, and I want you to be happy.
7. I'm sorry if I got too close. But I'm more sorry that you started to walk away. I miss that closeness we had…
8. I know I always thankyou for being you, the truth is I don't what else to say. You stay unwavering, nothing changes.
9. You're getting on my nerves. A lot. You're so selfish, and stubborn, and rude. Everything I see in myself.
10. I want to be you. You in every possible way. You're amazing way of dealing with every situation. Teach me.

Nine things about myself:
1. My mind usually makes sense to me. Just like Amy. Cuz I'm not random, if you understand me.
2. I love you guys more than you will ever know. And it hurts me everytime you don't want a hug.
3. I overanalyse EVERYTHING. Usually it's just a thinking too much thing. But I can be entertained for hours by a number plate…
4. I always make a wish on 11:11. But for the past week, it's been a wish that everything will stay the same.
5. I'm always either happy or sad. I don't really have "ok" moods. That means either I'm generally happy and currently sad or generally sad and currently happy.
6. I copy people in a lot of ways, but I only do it if I admire something in you. Usually people get pissed off by it, but it's a pretty big compliment.
7. I'm lonely a lot. Especially now that I lost my teddy bear. I really want someone to hug.
8. I have an awesome life. Because all the shit that happened to me, happened a long time ago, and now everything is awesome.
9. I have the craziest dreams EVER. Like the nocturnal cannibal one, and last night I dreamt about a cat jumping out of a person. I'm just imaginative.

Eight ways to win my heart:
1. Make me laugh. (That's really easy)
2. Talk to me when there's other people around that are awesomer than me, but you'd prefer to talk to me.
3. Haha, appearing offline, still talking to me… (inside joke)
4. Chocolate… it has to be said
5. Understanding me, that's asking for a lot, but yeah, knowing what everything I say means.
6. Tell me that you appreciate me. Or that you enjoy talking to me, or that I make you smile. Or all of the above :L
7. Talk to me when you have nothing to say, but just feel like talking to me. We'll think of something to talk about…
8. Catch my eye and wink. Since I totally fail at winking, this is very awesome. ;)


Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1. what job I'll have in the future
2. general contemplating of the universe…
3. why people say the things they say
4. how people end up how they do
5. whether I'll ever have the child I'm dying to have
6. whether other people are thinking about me
7. what other people are doing at 8:00 in the morning (I think sleeping?)

Six things I wish I never did:
1. pretend to be something I'm not
2. let myself be distanced from some people
3. screw up a particular friendship
4. give up.
5. let go
6. frown

Five turn ons:
1. witty sense of humour. Laughs at things that are normally taken seriously, but also likes to talk DNM.
2. Abnormality. But not in an insane way, just in a does-their-own-thing way.
3. Hazel eyes (yes, I am that shallow)
4. Not afraid to be theirself.
5. Really nice smile. =)

Four turn offs:
1. not able to hold a conversation with me.
2. always follows rules, even the stupid ones
3. breaks own rules. Everyone should have some moral codes.
4. Smoking. It has been said before, it will be said again. ("Hit anyone that smokes weed" "okay?")

Three smileys that describe my life:
1. :)/:L – come on people, bebo!!
2. :S
3. :O

Two things I want to do before I die:
1. Fall in love

2. Be satisfied with my life

One confession:
1. I'm no fool…

Thank God she's back

I made up my mind not to get on MSN until I finished blogging about my weekend.
Of course, I am very weakminded, and so far haven't started blogging. Clearly.
I have to go though, because, clearly, MSN is more important. I will finish this blog in the morning, I just want you to know that I didn't forget.

Ebony wakes up next morning and writes:

We drove to Laurieton. I don't remember much of that... well, it's not important.We listened to crazy dance songs, that was the highlight.
Saturday night... (this is a long, off topic explanation, bear with it)

When I first watched PS: I love you, I was mesmirised. It perfectly described the way you could so completely miss someone, who, in a way, it seemed stayed close. But they weren't close enough to touch, or close enough to see; just close enough to never forget, just close enough to miss.
There was only one part of the movie I disagreed with. She said that women didn't know what they wanted. I have always had chrystal clear views on what I want. Until Saturday night.
(I really take off topic to the next level)

Getting away from everyone in my world for a bit tends to be a real eye opener for me. But this time... words cannot describe.
Anyone from CC camp who remembers Wednesday night (no comment), that was prett much Saturday (not in the way you're thinking). At least, the sadness and insecurity of it. The part that no one gets to see. That no one bothers to look for.

ANYWAYS, that was that. (To hear a freaky/interesting/hilarious/weird story, aske me at school about Ben. I cbb to type it)

Sunday was the baby shower. That was short + sweet, she got some nice gifts, we played a few games, all was good.

Monday we stopped in at the house again for a cup of coffee (=)) and then we were off. We gradually trekked home. I saw a place called coolabah and had Waltzing Matilda stuck in my head for half an hour. We had lunch at Taree. Got back on the roads, and there was SO MUCH TRAFFIC. We were practically parked. It was so ridicuous. I wanted to start talking to the people in the car next to us, but my mum wouldn't let me, I waved a lot though.
Anyways, it was forever until we got hme, and then my mummy hogged my computer to check her emails because she thinks her social life is more important than mine.

And that was our trip.
On the way home, we started naming as many Beatles songs as we can
And singing them.
Sure we were singing the wrong lyrics offkey and out of tune, but we were... a family. And that felt really nice. We did the same thing with Monkees songs. It was pretty fun.


OK, SONG!!
And this time, I seriously want you guys to dowload it.
This song is the saddest thing.
It was about this incident (I love you wikipedia) where a 16 year old girl shot people at a school because she doesn't like Mondays, and she wanted something to do.
She killed 2 adults and injured 8 children.
I don't like Mondays either, but honestly...

Anyways the song is "I don't like Monday" by the Boomtown Rats

To hear it (I don't like its clip) click here. But download it anyway, you have to listen to it a few times to truly appreciate it.

Happy Easter!

I have sad news.

I'm going away for the weekend =O.
B..b..ut... blog??
No. No blog.
You will have to survive without me.
I know it's hard.
But I have faith in you.
You can make it through.

ANYWAYS!
I'm gonna tell you about my easter.

Holy Thursday

so much for last supper. we had pizza in front of the tv using the box as a plate.
but we bought our easter eggs!
well, mum did, after she finished her shift at work.
yes, that is the organisational skills of my family.
in comparisson, im organised
what a shocking revelation...
so yes, i got 2 Lindt bunnies.
=)

Good Friday

the whole family congregates at my auntys to eat.
this is what we do best. eat.
and we'll all catch up
and share chocolate =)
andme and nikki sitll go on an easter hunt
even though we're older
except my aunty writes down the hiding places cuz she can never remember
but hte places she hides are like...impossible
so all my aunts + uncles try and cheat for us
but no one can ever find anything :L
and we do lots of eating

Easter Saturday

Driving to Laurieton for my ex-neighbour's 18th. (Shaarn)
This starts at, like, 4-ish.
We do whatever it is we do.
Check into motel.
I do history hw :L (I've planned my hw for the entire holidays)
We sleep.

Easter Sunday

Wake up Give eggs?
Go to Shaarn's sister's baby shower (Amiee)
Do whatever it is we do
Go back to motel
Bond.
We sleep.

Easter Monday

We drivey drivey back to Sydney.
I convince Dad not to speed cuz its double demerits
He doesn't listen, speeds anyway
I tell him i dont like it when he speeds
he tells me i can walk
i shut up for duration of car trip.
i am possibly on msn (victor: note the POSSIBLY)
My mum screams at me for being on MSN the second i get home "like you can't live without your friends for 2 days"
me: "but i havnt spoken to them since friday"
mum: "youve got the whole holidays"
me: "please mum, just an hour"
mum: "youve got 30 minutes"
me: "thanks mum, i love you" *gives hug*



And that concludes easter.
I'm sure there's something in there about Jesus...
ok then...

Yay Jesus! You die! And be reborn! Yippee!

That wasn't very good.
I'm sorry I totally fail as a catholic

Person who catches train with ebony and sometimes eats almonds: "are you christian?"
ebony, confused: "Im not sure"
Person who catches train with ebony and sometimes eats almonds: "what do you mean?"
ebony, confused: *shrugs*

(I stole the almonds thing from Surviving Myself)

Have a great easter guys!

Imagine.

Now that I have your attention. (such extreme measures, i know)
I am blogging. Well done for noticing.
I am blogging because I should.
And I'm sure I actually have something to say...
And if I do, we shall discover it.
With pictures!

(Note to readers: Today I reached my 100th post of 2009! Which I totally forgot to celebrate. Shall this be the belated birthday?)(Thankyou Mango for bringing that to my attention)

Hello little sunshines.
And welcome to the world of Ebony's mind.
Thankyou for all being my sunshines.
I know that sounds very silly.
But I truly appreciate all of you and your little glows.
The beams of light that comes of all of you and make my world glow.
Many people ask me why I'm always so happy.
The secret is: you.
My sunshines.

I think I am perhaps a person of poor taste.
At least, that is what everyone tells me.
Although it's true. I can never see ugly.
I find that so weird.
But tell me, what is ugly?
How can something be ugly? (other than the colour pink)
What makes it ugly?
I don't really understand.
Why does one thing have more beauty than another? (unless we are speaking of tyson ritter, in which case it is acceptable)

That gives me hope.
And reminds me of my English story.
But it makes me smile.
And believe in something stronger than myself.

"Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have" - Alvi.
Well, you know what I want Alvi? I want you to catch the bus on the last wednesday of term so I can see you one last time before holidays. But that's not something I have, is it?
Getting back to the point of the picture. I like being able to see sparkles in everything (gosh, maybe i'll just be crazy for the whole post) (its such a luna lovegood mood)
go away reality. i dont like you very much. the people in my head are much nicer to me. =)

and maybe some things will never be okay. maybe there are some things that can never be forgiven. and somethings that will forever remain problematic. and maybe im not ready to forget everything just because youve decided that i should.

but i survived it. and that means more to me than your pathetic attemts to make me forget it. i am stronger now. i wont break so easily next time.

i know that i never let anyone take photos of me. and i know im tarnishing my memories. but i never ever forget anything, and i dont need photos to help me. my blog documents everything :L

from here...

i want to make more people smile

i want to make someone's day, everyday

i want to learn to love myself again

i want to learn to love everyone else

i want to be there for someone

i want someone to be there for me

and that will all happen.

because i get to choose.

i totally volunteer to do that.

you aggrivate me so much.

how can someone i care so much about do that?

'ungrateful' was the word i used

and i was right

you have so much... look at all your friends

but we're not just here to help you out

it would be nice if you returned the favour

and you know, if you could stop making us feel bad about ourselves...

that would be nice too...

that's just so true.

i like things in circles.

and things written in highlighters.

i.e. most/all of my 'Dream.' artworks :L

i should put them in circles...

today... my favourite song is... "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me" by Dusty Springfield =) I don't know what that says about me. Interpret at will.

Yesterday it was "Fallin' Apart" by AAR.

I remember the Friday night dinner at the grandparents. (how Gilmore girls). Every Friday night we would go over. A perfect meal would be prepared. We would all catch up. Everyone would laugh and smile, and, being wogs, we would eat (Note: this is how all wogs bond, over food). We would all sit at the huge dining room table, and this would be its only use... other than Christmas. My grandparents would smile as they watched their beautiful family. And then we would all play cards. Well, the adults. And when my aunty lost, as she would, so early, she would come and tell me and my sister a story. I still remember the stories, about the animals in the gardens. And then "i wanna go on an adventure".

I remember how my Dad would come back so happy, this was the only time he realy got to see his family. And I remember how much Mum hated those dinners. "It's such a hassle" she would say. "every Friday night, it's so inconvenient".

And eventually the dinners stopped. The Christmas celebrations moved to the children's houses. And the dining room table sits there. All alone in the room that is never used.

(This is very long and boring. I'm sorry if you read the whole thing)

(It makes me wanna write a story about a dining room table)

=)

No explanation necessary.

=) I told you all my secrets too...

Movie madness

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. There are 240 films on this list, put x's next to the films you've seen, then add them up.


() Rocky Horror Picture Show (i REALLY wanna see that!!)
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
Total: 4

() The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
() Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 8

( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( )Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 8

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Harry Potter 5
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 14

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect ( i rented it but never got around to watcing it =()
(x) 13 Going on 30 aka Suddenly 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 20

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) King Kong (2003)
Total so far: 23

(x) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 26

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 26

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
( ) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 29

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremacy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Curious George
Total so far: 35

( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss's Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 36

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
( ) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 39

(x) X-Men
( ) X-Men 2
( ) X-Men 3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 47

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
(x) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 49

( ) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 50

( ) Baseketball
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Reject
(x) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 51

( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 53

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo !
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far: 55

( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 55

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 61

(x) The Matrix
( ) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
( ) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal

OVERALL TOTAL: 62

That's right Rosa, I totally kicked your ass, whilst still having a life. Oh yeah, I'm that cool!

PS: I may blog later. If I'm bothered.

Grow.

This is pretty much just random ranting :L

Some are good, smoe are bad

Some are about readers, some are about people none of you even know

I don't even know if you'll bother reading it all

BY THE WAY!! Can anyone tell me what the hell simultaneous equations are?? Are they equations on the same number plane or is Shiri stupid? And for goodness sake don't tell me how to solve them. just tell me what they are!!

I know that hug meant something different to you than what it meant to me. I also know that I somehow, magically, fit perfectly in your arms, as if we were designed for each other. And you only hugged me because you thought I needed it. Which I did. Yeah, I've said it before, I'll say it again, you're awesome.

***

I shouldn't be so happy after talking to you. I really shouldn't. But you brighten my every day. It's like, for 10 minutes afterwards, I can't do anything but smile. Which is strange, because I've never known anyone with that effect on me. I admitted that you were my favourite, I didn't say that I now count you amongst my best friends.

(N2S: stop doing this you silly)

***

Oh goodie, let's have an immature fight. I'm sure that's a great way to solve all our problems. Oh wells, at the end of the day I am happy and you are not.

***

SPEAKING OF! I'm happy. No, really, I'm happy. Can you believe it? How long has it been?? A bloody long time!! But I've done it, I'm happy again.

***

… I had the weirdest dream last night. I mean, I thought that part of my life was behind me (is anyone else getting déjà vu?), but I guess not. I think, maybe, because we can now have a conversation without me stammering my way through it, more to the point we can now have a conversation. That's new. But the feeling, that was old.

***

Now I can say it to your face. And you know what? I'm proud of that. I can finally face up to you, instead of letting myself be hurt by you, and changed by you. I liked myself how I was, thanks all the same, and now that you're gone, I can go back to being myself.

***

There comes a point in your life when you realise that… you're growing up. That instead of you and your sister fighting, suddenly it's your parents. That when it comes time to plan birthdays, and such, you take on a bigger role. When they do something, your parents ask for your advice. I guess, it's like, you've started looking after them, not the other way wround.

When mum got sick a few weeks back (did I neglect to mention that on my blog?), sudddenly, everything was about me and Nikki. We pretty much took care of our family. Dad would go to work, come home, and occassionally cook, but that was about it. Nikki and I would come home, make Mum a cup of tea, sit on the lounge and watch TV with her, constantly asking if she needed anything. On the day that she could only eat/drink clear things, I walked up to the shops to get her barley sugars. We would check her emails for her, put on movies for her, get her a blanket, or a glass of water, anything to stop her getting up... or at least we did try to.

I guess it was a really eye-opening experience, that now I have some sort of independence. I can do things for myself. I can do things for others as well. I'm not so much of a selfish bitch (Emphasises "so much").

***

It's really nice to be appreciated.

Thankyou for appreciating me.

(Why do I always sound retarded when I talk about you?)

***

I know you don't think that your smile has so much of an effect on me. And I know you think that when you said that stuff, I just brushed it off. But really, no one else Can ever… do that. Can make me smile so… happily. Haha, I don't make any sense, and you don't read this, why the hell am I bothering?? :L

***

Today, Sandie said that someone in her group said that they like talking to me when they're depressed because I make them feel better. That totally made my day

***

I really really want to put the lyrics to "I Can Wait Forever" here again.

But I shall resist.

She says I never listen and I'm not attentive to her emotions
I say she's got tunnel vision, only sees it her way,
so we never can work it out.
She's all ready to give up and move on, I don't think she knows,
how I wish sometimes she could read my mind.

CHORUS
If she knew how bad I wanna make this work,
how my love belongs to her,
she wouldn't be able to walk away.
If she knew how bad I gotta have her close,
if I ever let her go, I wouldn't make it a single day,
she would never have to ask again
if she knew how bad

I've got it
Gotta find a way to tell her how I feel before it is over
I guess I could have done things better
I never should have let things get this far
She's all ready to give up and move on,
I don't think she knows
How I wish sometimes she could read my mind

CHORUS

The thought of losing her because I did something wrong
I guess I should have been there whenever she needed someone
It's a feeling that I know would kill me, cause
she's my heart, my soul, my love
I would never give her up

CHORUS

If she knew how bad
how bad I really love her
how bad, how bad,
if she only knew how,
how bad I really love her
I just can't live without her
If she knew how bad,
if she knew how bad


look at his eyes
=O =O
!!!

I'm worth $8570

How much are you worth?
PS: Working today, this is all I have time for.

Hair Color:
[] Black = $100
[] Blonde = $50
[] Red = $75
[x] Brown = $15
[] Bald = $5
[] Other=$2

Eye Color:
[x] Brown - $150
[] Green - $75
[] Blue $50
[] Hazel $100
[] Other - $15

Height:
[] Over 7' - $200
[] 6'8" to 7' - $175
[] 6'0" to 6'7" - $150
[x] 5'5" to 5'11" - $75
[]4'9" to 5'4" - $50
[]Under 4'9 - $45

Age:
[] 41 to 50 - $150
[] 31 to 40 - $100
[] 26 to 30 - $75
[] 21 to 25 - $50
[] 19 to 20 - $25
[X] 0 to 18 - $100

Birth Order: mark all that apply
[] Twins or more than twins - $300
[] First Born - $300
[]Only Child - $250
[x]second born - $150
[] Middle child - $100
[x]Last Born - $200
[] third born - $100
[] fourth born - $100
[] fifth born - $375
[] sixth born - $400


Drink?
[x] No - $400
[] Only Holidays - $300 -
[] Sometimes - $215
[] YES - $200
[] only weekends - $250
[] Every other day - $50
[] Once a day - $15
[] I live from the bottle - $0

Vision?
[x] perfect vision - $300
[] need or have glasses/contacts but don't wear them - $200
[] No correction - $100
[] Glasses - $50
[] contacts - $200
[] Surgical correction - $ 135

Car Color [or families' cars]
[x] White - $2,000
[] Maroon - $800
[] Gold - $700
[] Gray - $600
[] Blue - $900
[] Light Blue - $850
[] Pink - $475
[] Black - $450
[] Red - $400
[] Green- $350
[x] Silver - $300
[] Purple - $250
[] Metallic - $200
[] Yellow - $100
[] Primer - $75
[] Tan - $20
[] Rusted - $15
[] No Car - $0

Shoe Size:
[] 13+ - $300
[]12 and a half to 13 - $250
[] 11 to 12 - $700
[] 7 to 10 - $600
[x] Under 7- $850

Favorite Colors (three):
[x]Green - $750
[]Black - $600
[] Red - $800
[x]Yellow -$475
[]Brown - $50
[]Purple - $225
[]Aqua - $350
[]Orange - $300
[x]Blue - $300
[]Pink - $100
[]Other - $ 50

now add up!

Did you use a calculator add it all up?
[] Yes - $0
[x] No - add $1000
[] On some - $750

How many people are you going to tag?
[] 100 - 150 = $2500
[] 90 - 80 = $1000
[] 70 - 60 = $900
[] 50 - 40 = $700
[] 30 - 39 = $500 (30 is the limit)
[] 20 - 29 = $100
[] 10-19 = $50
[] 1 - 9 = $5
[x] However many are in your contacts = $1500

you are worth: $8570

Well, at least I beat Rosa, right?

Create.

I just realised that I posted 40 times last month.

Record. =)

I feel like telling secrets, but I know that I have no idea who reads this. (Hello Joel.)

Ah wells, I really don't have time to be writing this, what with things that I should be doing and all. But, I don't have any of the assignment thingos that anyone else has. Except my short story. Which I don't think is homework. I hope. Besides, I have my idea, I just don't have a full story. Oh well, here comes my blog.

(This blog was initially written on Sunday morning. Yes, I am an incredible procrastinator. Anyways, some things have changed between then and now, but I left everything I wrote here. Please enjoy.)

-----

I want to be brave enough to say it to your face. But I won't be. Not because you intimidate me, but because I'm afraid of hurting your already fragile feelings. But when I said what I said, I didn't back, because it's all true. You're the only one who's too blind to see it.

-----

If I had randomly said "I love you" in the middle of our conversation (note to Shailin: this is the NORMAL thing to do), I think I would have freaked you out. Instead, I told you that you were amazing. I know you're reading this right now, and I want you to know that I love you. Not in a freaky way. (Maybe it will still freak you out, and if it does, I'm sorry)

-----

You look so beautiful today

When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away

So I try to find the words that I could say

I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away

And I can't lie

Everytime I leave my heart turns grey

And I want to come back home to see your face

And I

Cause I just can't take it

Another day without you with me

Is like a blade that cuts right through me

But I can wait

I can wait forever

When you call, my heart stops beating

When you're gone, it won't stop bleeding

But I can wait

I can wait forever

You look so beautiful today

It's like everytime I turn around I see your face

The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you

When I look into your eyes, I wish that I could stay

And I can't lie

Everytime I leave my heart turns grey

And I want to come back home to see your face

And I

Cause I just can't take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever

I know it feels like forever
I guess that's just the price I gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch
Makes it better
Till that day
Theres nothing else that I can do
And I just cant take it
I just cant take it

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But i can wait
I can wait forever (I can wait forever)
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it wont stop bleeding
But I can wait
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever...

{I just want you to know that I put this song here, because I think you need to hear it. I know you could wait forever, I'm the same. Although the song is so far from perfect, a lot of things are, and it goes close. I hope you actually read the lyrics, I think you'd like the song}

-----

I don't want to take sides in your stupid fight. I don't like either of you, but you both think I'll side with you. I think you're both selfish and inconsiderate. You din't understand how everything you do effects everyone around you.

-----

I think… I'm almost happy. I'm pretty sure I'm almost happy. Not quite there, but bloody close. I'm back to the flowers and rainbows and unicorns. I smile at random people for no reason.

-----

I have written more of my story

You wanna HEAR???

(Of course you all do)

Living with Mum whilst she was sick was so difficult. She tried to make jokes about her condition, she tried to cheer me up, but we both knew it was fruitless. Looking back, I probably should have been a little more cheerful. After all, if I was dying, I wouldn't want anyone moping about, I'd like them to enjoy the little life I had left.

Each day, the prospect of her death loomed closer. Eventually, she was admitted to hospital, but her condition continued to worse. All the time getting sicker, and sadder. Much, much sadder.

And some point in time though, she started to accept it. She knew what was coming, and there became a way for her to be okay with it. Maybe she had some sort of realisation of truth, maybe her life flashed before her eyes and she liked it, I don't know what happened, but it seemed to work.

I wasn't okay with it, though. She seemed so unconcerned about dying, like, it was okay with her. I couldn't deal with that. I couldn't deal with losing someone so important in my life. I couldn't deal with her thinking her life was so unimportant. The happier she got, the sadder I did.

But my story is not entirely one of depression. For, the events that followed were not altogether sad. Although death can be a terrifying experience, it is an experience, and there is something to learn from it.

Mum died in her sleep. Perhaps that sentence was the hardest I've ever written. They sa her death was painless, that she felt nothing, and for this I am grateful. I know that I didn't wast me last few days with her, I know that I didn't waste my life with her. For I treasured every moment we spent together.

Of one the hardest parts of life is speculating death. Where do you go from here? What happens after death? Maybe the hardest part of leting go, is not knowing where they're going.

-----

Tada. Yes that is 500 words. So yes, I'm done my draft =)

By the way, I need a few ways of looking at death. So if you guys can just tell me what YOU think happens when you die, I'll use one of your beliefs in my story. I figure, no one else is warped enough to see it like me.

-----

In other school news.

Rosa (although I told you at school) I'm blogging my drama mark :L.

I got 18/20.

Is everyone happy now??

haha, good =) (Y)

-----

Haha, here's what someone commented on an AAR video on youtube:

I'd like to be his pants.
Is that so wrong?

- trishinstlouis

ROFL!!! No, not wrong at all :L

Only a little bit obsessed

I admit, I have never been much on an All American Rejects fan. I mean, sure, I have heaps of their music on my com, and I listen to it all the time, but I've never considering buying their CDs, I've never googled them, I just like the songs. But yesterday, I discovered something amazing. Something that will make me an AAR fan forever. Yesterday, I discovered that the lead singer, Tyson Ritter, is just about this gorgeous:




Pretty amazing, huh?
I think I'm a fan for life.
Of course, not quite to the point of obsession that Lisa has reached with Brendan Urie (although Tritter is a pretty cool name...)


Anyways, I swear, he is not the only reason I love them. (Just the main reason). I have another, more normal one. Have you guys ever seen the clip for dirty little secret?? Ok, well, through the clip, are a whole bunch of postsecrets. We all know how much I lvoe postsecret, yes??? Yes!! Now, imagine a combination of Tyson Ritter and Postsecret.


Exactly, all that's missing is chocolate.


To watch Dirty Little Secret video, click on me.


The postsecrets were actually given to the video, to help raise money for something something something (maybe just Google it?). But, it worked! And everyone is happy.


Especially me.

Understand.

She's crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool

She's crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool
I'm crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool

Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool

I would go on, but after that all the lyrics just repeat themselves.

-----

I have some very sad news. (Other than "I've have a 70s song stuck in my head for the past week") (I am improving, it is no longer Rock On)
I am actually enjoying doing English.
I am sitting here with my depression-h0ur story, sitting in my lap, waiting for inspiration to hit me, so I can write more.
I am serious!
Sure, it's school work! But I'm enjoying writing my short story so much, I want to write more and more.

You all want to read it so far, don't you? Don't you??
OK, keep in mind, most of the paragraphs are unfinished.

My Mum and I have always been best friends. since the day I was born, we've relied on each other for almost everything. We've never had to worry about anything other than each other, and she's always been the person I turn to when something's wrong. Until now.

It's been 3 months now since Mum was diagnosed with brain cancer. Since the day she told me, I've cried myself to sleep every night. I try to be strong for her and put on a brave face, but I really just wish she could protect me from everything, like she used to.

Coming to terms with the fact that she's dying has been really hard. Sometimes, when she smiles, she has this look in her eyes that almost gives me hope. Maybe, she'll be strong enough. Maybe the treatment will work. Maybe we can overpower it together. And then the doctor's report comes back "Her condition is still deteriorating, I'm sorry Millie"

People say things like "I know this must be hard for you..." or "I understand how difficult it is but...", and it just makes it worse. No one really understands. No matter how many people they're known with brain cancer, none of them are my mother.

Stop! How do you feel?? (It's important, I'm a frustrated writer.)

Anyways, before you ask No, it's not based on a true story,.
So... yeah, that's my story

-----

Back by popular demand!

Word of the day: excogitate
What it means: to think out; devise; invent.
Why I care: because lana said she liked when i had a word of the day, so i just opened up my dictionary to a random page(326) and picked a word. this was it. But you all feel smarter for knowing what it means don't you?

(Lana, you'd better read this!)

-----

To EVERYONE who whinged that i was getting too many comments:
You're just JEALOUS! Because I have more friends than you :P
I get that are a few too many people commenting
And that popular blogs should never deal with the blogwriter's thoughts + feelings (it just screws everything up)
But I have great faith in all of you (actually that's bullshit) and i think you can all make this work!

-----

Yes, Rosa, the reason I didn't blog yesterday was because I was working.
Yes, I had major withdrawals. Yes, that's why I started blogging as soon as I woke up. (Well, after I'd commented on other peoples' blogs.)
I understand that my obsession is unhealthy.
But seriously, it's not that much.
I am improving my mental health (ahem.)
Because, I am opening up to the world. Yes??
Goodie =)

-----

We started as friends
But something happened inside me
Now I'm reading into everything
But there's no sign you hear the lighning

You don't even notice me turning on my charm
Or wonder why I'm always where you are

I've made it obvious
Done everything but sing it
I'm not so good with words
And since you never notice
The way that we beling
I'll say it in a love song

I've heard you talk about
How you want someone just like me
Everytime I ask you ask
We never move past friendly

You don't ever notice how I stare when we're alone
Or wonder why I keep you on the phone

-----

I heard that song at work yesterday.
(as well as the song from matilda)
And, it is just amazing.
Yay for Westlife.

-----

I REALLY want to play The Sims right now. Becuase it's what I do on weekend mornings before the rest of the world wakes up. But stupid Charlie forgot everything, and now I have to get the thigimos from Amy again, and it's just not the same without university/nightlife. AND it will take me forever to install everything. And then my mum will tell me off for spending too much time on my comp. yes, this is why i get her to install everything.

-----

Everyone lately, has been talking so much about the future.
This totally scares the crap outta me.
I mean, I don't know what I want to do with my life.
Well, I do.
But everyone tells me I should want more for myself.
That I should want to go to university.

Others can go and do anything, they doesn't have to go to uni, maybe it's not their thing. Maybe they'll do something else.
But me?
Oh no, I'm going to uni, what else could I possibly do? And if I don't, I'm just throwing my life away. It's just where I'm headed.
Honestly, I'm too lazy. I know year 12 will be too much stress for me.
I'd rather quit school now.

And you know what I really want?
A kid.
I know, I say it a lot and everyone tells me I'm being ridiculous.
But I really want to have a kid. A little child to look after. Something to do! Not work towards. Something I can make a difference in. A little life to look after. Someone to care for.
I'm being ridiculous again, aren't I?

-----

OK, I'll go smithteening, and then start installing Sims.
I wonder how many comments I'll get today...

-----

I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool...

Care.

It's not that unusual
When everything is beautiful.
It's just another ordinary miracle today.

The sky know when it's time to snow,
Don't need to teach a seed to grow.
It's just another ordinary miracle today.

Life is like a gift they say
Wraped up for you everyday;
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own.

Isn't it remarkable?
Like everytime a rain drop falls,
It's just another ordinary miracle today.

Birds in winter have their fling
But always make it home by spring.
It's just another ordinary miracle today.

When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away;
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we're all a part
Of the ordinary miracle.
Ordinary miracle

Do you want to see a miracle?

It seems so exceptional
That things just work out after all.
It's just another ordinary miracle today.

Sun comes up and shines so bright
And disappears again at night.
It's just another ordinary miracle today.

It's just another ordinary miracle today.

-----

And In Other News:
Could my sister actually be getting an email address?
Is she coming out of social oblivion??
Maybe... she will get MSN!!
Or... wait for it... a blog!

Not that my sister is socially retarded. Because she isn't. Her phone never stops ringing. Her friends are willing to spend money on her. Mine, however, prefer the cyberworld. Which, I can't say I disagree with.
Anyways, she doesn't think a blog of hers would have any readers...
But if I link you guys, you'd read it, right?

-----

You are amazing.
No, you'll never believe me.
You'll never admit that I know what I'm talking about.
But I think you're awesome.
I'll never have the guts to say that to you in real life.
This is as close as I'll get.

(This is sort of directed to 3 people :L)

-----

I want to fly again.
Come fly with me?

If I tried, could I fly? - soulcages

And we'll fly over the treetops, and look down at the little people, thinking "oh how sad their lives must be" because we will have beautiful freedom

-----

Just for the FOUR people that, (to my comment of "im blogging") said "again?"

I am addicted to blogging.
Very addicted.
It makes me feel like I can say whatever I want.

But still, an addiction is an addiction,
I shall look for some sort of 12 step program.
Or blogaholics anonymous.

-----

:O I saw Luna today!

-----

I named my blog "Victor is cool" until further notice.
It's okay, his blog is "Ebony is cool"
Neither of us can think of a proper name
And clearly, I am cool, so it was a logical choice
For me, it was just blackmailing =)

(I'm kidding! You're cool!)

-----

You know what conversation I've had 6 times in the past 2 days?
(No really, its an interesting one)

Not to judge what you do not understand.
(Oh yes, you all know who you are, 4 of you are probably reading)
(at least you'd better be)

And, I managed to convince 3 of you (that's a good average)(i guess)
because none of you can feel empathy
none of you can know
what you haven't experienced
and you proceed to judge EVERYONE who it has happened to
you say "if it was me..."

well it WASN'T.
and maybe, half the time, it hasn't been me either.
but i DON'T JUDGE.

sure, i stick up for them
and thats taking sides.
sure, i tell you YOU'RE wrong, i judge YOU
but i just wish everyone could get along

if everyone understood each other, we'd never fight
that's what i think anyway
if you guys can just get over yourselves and listen to each other
just imagine...

Appreciate.

Today, for the first time since my blog was born
(Yes, that was 200 posts ago, oh I am so old)
I actually organised my linkage on the side.
As in, Rosa and Judy's links actually lead to their blogs.
And Shailin and Uyen's old blogs were deleted.
(And I have a feeling they don't want me to add new links)

Anyways, Rosa told me off, cuz her gizmo on her old page said everyone was going there from my page. So now you can all her to her NEW page! Isn't that exciting??
And I should really follow Judy's new blog...

Anyway! The only people I left off my list are those who I don't think want to be on it. Or those I don't follow, or those I lost the link to since Charlie came back from hospital.
If you wish to be linked.
TELL ME!
I promise, I will link you.
You will have your own little green underline that changes colour when it's clicked on. It's very exciting, really.


AND!!

I want to rename my blog.
Because although the rhyme is oh so clever, (admit it. place. space. SKILLS!), it is old.
And I need a change.
So, any ideas?
It has to be clever. And poetic. And eccentric.
But apart from that, anything will do.

Wish you were here,
(It's been a while since I left with that, hasn't it?)

Inspire.

Wouldn't it be wonderful to inspire someone?

Or to make someone feel good about themselves?

There have been so many time is the past few days when I've wanted to say "I think you're an amazing person" or "I'm really glad we're friends" or "thankyou for just being you, cuz you're awesome" but I'm scared that I'll freak people out. So I just keep my mouth shut.

-----

I want to know your story - imissyoulately

My story:

When I was little, everything was perfect. I guess that's just how stuff goes. I always knew I was very lucky. I had the most amazing life you could ever wish for. I knew I had to do something special. Even as a child, I contemplated parts of the universe that some people will never consider. I asked God why I was so lucky, why things always worked out for me, he just told me to never take it for granted, and to do something worthwhile with my luck.

I moved house at the age of 5, and I met her. It's hard, still today, to go into details about everything that happened with her. Needless to say, my luck had run out. At the time, I didn't understand. I thought it was normal, or that it was okay. I realise now that it was not okay. It will never be okay.

Somewhere in my childhood I got really happy. I know it's wrong of me to blame her, but I do. I know this is the easy way out. I also know that my argument has some validity. Yeah, I was a pretty depressed kid. I hated the world. I hated myself. I hated everyone around me.

I smiled. Sure, whatever. That was not a smile. That was lips going up at the corners. There's a difference.

Highschool started. And I was sick of it. I threw out my soul, and I got a new one. I was the crazy girl who liked skipping, polka dots and chocolate (actually, not the chocolate yet).

And for a very long time I was okay with that. I finally knew what it was like to smile. I was soo happy. Sure, maybe it wasn't perfect, and maybe it wasn't real, but I ws happy. That's all that's important.

OK, I'm stoppping my story here.

The rest in unwritten.

Well, the next bit is written, but you know what I'm like, I never tell you stuff too close to me at the present.

ANYWAYS! Everyone who's reading this, will you please comment with your story =)

I'm not moving.

If you go into your settings on blogger.

And click on the tab that says "email" it will give you the option to add an email address to which you can send posts, resulting in them being posted.

Or saved as drafts.

This is called Mail2Blogger.

Anyways, because I can copy + paste into emails, but not blogger, the quizzy thing from yesterday, I just emailed it to myself.

That's what I did Rosa.

-----

"Maybe if I saw her smile... then I could live with my decision to let her smile for someone else"

That quote from Calmant definately made me wow.

It's so beautiful, and so... obviously true.

That it would be easier to let go of someone...

And to let them be happy with someone else...

If they really proved to you that they were happy.

But if they couldn't do that...

And if they weren't happy...

Maybe, you shouldn't have to let go

Maybe, you deserve to love them forever...

-----

I'm thinking of having a free hugs competition with someone. Just like my high5s competition. Except, I will count properly this time.

It's just that, I know a lot of people that need a hug, and I'm probably top of that list...

If anyone wants to join my competition, let me know =)

-----

Here's another:

"Hello... I'm Cody, and my heart's been broken for two months and every step I take is one step further from her and closer to the edge I'm too afraid to jump from"

See?! I told you guys smithteens was awesome.

-----

I feel like going outside and dancing in the rain. But I'm getting sick, and I have no one to dance with (my sister would, but she's working).

Everything looks so beautiful and new, I want to go and join it all and be free...

-----

I get closer to you all the time, the dancing, and spinning, and poking never gets old. You really are an incredibly decent person. Thankyou for being so wonderful.

-----

Everyone asked me why I was happy, why I was high, why the hell I was flying. And the truth is I don't know. I just know that today, everything got a hell of a lot easier, like I made some sort of decision to let things be, and I just let them be. I don't when I made that decision, or why I made it, I just know that when I told you I was flying, I didn't only mean on the outside.

-----

The hardest part is balance. I've never had to balance good things before, only bad ones. Not wanting to spend too much time doing any of them. Now I want to do everything, and I still need to balance, it's just getting harder.

-----

Can't be bothered to email myself, or write out all the lyrics, here is a short sample of Man Who Can't Be Moved

If one day you wake up and find that you're missing me

And your heart starts to wonder where on this Earth I could be

Thinking maybe you'll come back here to this place that we'd meet

And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl

There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world

And maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved

And maybe you won't mean to, but you'll see me on the news

And you'll come running to the corner

Cuz you'll know it's just for you