Grow.

This is pretty much just random ranting :L

Some are good, smoe are bad

Some are about readers, some are about people none of you even know

I don't even know if you'll bother reading it all

BY THE WAY!! Can anyone tell me what the hell simultaneous equations are?? Are they equations on the same number plane or is Shiri stupid? And for goodness sake don't tell me how to solve them. just tell me what they are!!

I know that hug meant something different to you than what it meant to me. I also know that I somehow, magically, fit perfectly in your arms, as if we were designed for each other. And you only hugged me because you thought I needed it. Which I did. Yeah, I've said it before, I'll say it again, you're awesome.

***

I shouldn't be so happy after talking to you. I really shouldn't. But you brighten my every day. It's like, for 10 minutes afterwards, I can't do anything but smile. Which is strange, because I've never known anyone with that effect on me. I admitted that you were my favourite, I didn't say that I now count you amongst my best friends.

(N2S: stop doing this you silly)

***

Oh goodie, let's have an immature fight. I'm sure that's a great way to solve all our problems. Oh wells, at the end of the day I am happy and you are not.

***

SPEAKING OF! I'm happy. No, really, I'm happy. Can you believe it? How long has it been?? A bloody long time!! But I've done it, I'm happy again.

***

… I had the weirdest dream last night. I mean, I thought that part of my life was behind me (is anyone else getting déjà vu?), but I guess not. I think, maybe, because we can now have a conversation without me stammering my way through it, more to the point we can now have a conversation. That's new. But the feeling, that was old.

***

Now I can say it to your face. And you know what? I'm proud of that. I can finally face up to you, instead of letting myself be hurt by you, and changed by you. I liked myself how I was, thanks all the same, and now that you're gone, I can go back to being myself.

***

There comes a point in your life when you realise that… you're growing up. That instead of you and your sister fighting, suddenly it's your parents. That when it comes time to plan birthdays, and such, you take on a bigger role. When they do something, your parents ask for your advice. I guess, it's like, you've started looking after them, not the other way wround.

When mum got sick a few weeks back (did I neglect to mention that on my blog?), sudddenly, everything was about me and Nikki. We pretty much took care of our family. Dad would go to work, come home, and occassionally cook, but that was about it. Nikki and I would come home, make Mum a cup of tea, sit on the lounge and watch TV with her, constantly asking if she needed anything. On the day that she could only eat/drink clear things, I walked up to the shops to get her barley sugars. We would check her emails for her, put on movies for her, get her a blanket, or a glass of water, anything to stop her getting up... or at least we did try to.

I guess it was a really eye-opening experience, that now I have some sort of independence. I can do things for myself. I can do things for others as well. I'm not so much of a selfish bitch (Emphasises "so much").

***

It's really nice to be appreciated.

Thankyou for appreciating me.

(Why do I always sound retarded when I talk about you?)

***

I know you don't think that your smile has so much of an effect on me. And I know you think that when you said that stuff, I just brushed it off. But really, no one else Can ever… do that. Can make me smile so… happily. Haha, I don't make any sense, and you don't read this, why the hell am I bothering?? :L

***

Today, Sandie said that someone in her group said that they like talking to me when they're depressed because I make them feel better. That totally made my day

***

I really really want to put the lyrics to "I Can Wait Forever" here again.

But I shall resist.

She says I never listen and I'm not attentive to her emotions
I say she's got tunnel vision, only sees it her way,
so we never can work it out.
She's all ready to give up and move on, I don't think she knows,
how I wish sometimes she could read my mind.

CHORUS
If she knew how bad I wanna make this work,
how my love belongs to her,
she wouldn't be able to walk away.
If she knew how bad I gotta have her close,
if I ever let her go, I wouldn't make it a single day,
she would never have to ask again
if she knew how bad

I've got it
Gotta find a way to tell her how I feel before it is over
I guess I could have done things better
I never should have let things get this far
She's all ready to give up and move on,
I don't think she knows
How I wish sometimes she could read my mind

CHORUS

The thought of losing her because I did something wrong
I guess I should have been there whenever she needed someone
It's a feeling that I know would kill me, cause
she's my heart, my soul, my love
I would never give her up

CHORUS

If she knew how bad
how bad I really love her
how bad, how bad,
if she only knew how,
how bad I really love her
I just can't live without her
If she knew how bad,
if she knew how bad


look at his eyes
=O =O
!!!