Understand.

She's crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool

She's crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool
I'm crazy like a fool
What about it daddy cool

Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool
Daddy, daddy cool

I would go on, but after that all the lyrics just repeat themselves.

-----

I have some very sad news. (Other than "I've have a 70s song stuck in my head for the past week") (I am improving, it is no longer Rock On)
I am actually enjoying doing English.
I am sitting here with my depression-h0ur story, sitting in my lap, waiting for inspiration to hit me, so I can write more.
I am serious!
Sure, it's school work! But I'm enjoying writing my short story so much, I want to write more and more.

You all want to read it so far, don't you? Don't you??
OK, keep in mind, most of the paragraphs are unfinished.

My Mum and I have always been best friends. since the day I was born, we've relied on each other for almost everything. We've never had to worry about anything other than each other, and she's always been the person I turn to when something's wrong. Until now.

It's been 3 months now since Mum was diagnosed with brain cancer. Since the day she told me, I've cried myself to sleep every night. I try to be strong for her and put on a brave face, but I really just wish she could protect me from everything, like she used to.

Coming to terms with the fact that she's dying has been really hard. Sometimes, when she smiles, she has this look in her eyes that almost gives me hope. Maybe, she'll be strong enough. Maybe the treatment will work. Maybe we can overpower it together. And then the doctor's report comes back "Her condition is still deteriorating, I'm sorry Millie"

People say things like "I know this must be hard for you..." or "I understand how difficult it is but...", and it just makes it worse. No one really understands. No matter how many people they're known with brain cancer, none of them are my mother.

Stop! How do you feel?? (It's important, I'm a frustrated writer.)

Anyways, before you ask No, it's not based on a true story,.
So... yeah, that's my story

-----

Back by popular demand!

Word of the day: excogitate
What it means: to think out; devise; invent.
Why I care: because lana said she liked when i had a word of the day, so i just opened up my dictionary to a random page(326) and picked a word. this was it. But you all feel smarter for knowing what it means don't you?

(Lana, you'd better read this!)

-----

To EVERYONE who whinged that i was getting too many comments:
You're just JEALOUS! Because I have more friends than you :P
I get that are a few too many people commenting
And that popular blogs should never deal with the blogwriter's thoughts + feelings (it just screws everything up)
But I have great faith in all of you (actually that's bullshit) and i think you can all make this work!

-----

Yes, Rosa, the reason I didn't blog yesterday was because I was working.
Yes, I had major withdrawals. Yes, that's why I started blogging as soon as I woke up. (Well, after I'd commented on other peoples' blogs.)
I understand that my obsession is unhealthy.
But seriously, it's not that much.
I am improving my mental health (ahem.)
Because, I am opening up to the world. Yes??
Goodie =)

-----

We started as friends
But something happened inside me
Now I'm reading into everything
But there's no sign you hear the lighning

You don't even notice me turning on my charm
Or wonder why I'm always where you are

I've made it obvious
Done everything but sing it
I'm not so good with words
And since you never notice
The way that we beling
I'll say it in a love song

I've heard you talk about
How you want someone just like me
Everytime I ask you ask
We never move past friendly

You don't ever notice how I stare when we're alone
Or wonder why I keep you on the phone

-----

I heard that song at work yesterday.
(as well as the song from matilda)
And, it is just amazing.
Yay for Westlife.

-----

I REALLY want to play The Sims right now. Becuase it's what I do on weekend mornings before the rest of the world wakes up. But stupid Charlie forgot everything, and now I have to get the thigimos from Amy again, and it's just not the same without university/nightlife. AND it will take me forever to install everything. And then my mum will tell me off for spending too much time on my comp. yes, this is why i get her to install everything.

-----

Everyone lately, has been talking so much about the future.
This totally scares the crap outta me.
I mean, I don't know what I want to do with my life.
Well, I do.
But everyone tells me I should want more for myself.
That I should want to go to university.

Others can go and do anything, they doesn't have to go to uni, maybe it's not their thing. Maybe they'll do something else.
But me?
Oh no, I'm going to uni, what else could I possibly do? And if I don't, I'm just throwing my life away. It's just where I'm headed.
Honestly, I'm too lazy. I know year 12 will be too much stress for me.
I'd rather quit school now.

And you know what I really want?
A kid.
I know, I say it a lot and everyone tells me I'm being ridiculous.
But I really want to have a kid. A little child to look after. Something to do! Not work towards. Something I can make a difference in. A little life to look after. Someone to care for.
I'm being ridiculous again, aren't I?

-----

OK, I'll go smithteening, and then start installing Sims.
I wonder how many comments I'll get today...

-----

I've got another confession to make, I'm your fool...