You'll never take that away

Quote: "when i told him i liked him, i worried it would be the end of our friendship, but instead it was the beginning of something so much more wonderful." – stolen from amys blog
6 word memoir: "You're number 1. Myspace says so." – WittyGinger (I don't have myspace. But I named my blog after you, im sure it means the same thing...)
Song in head: I hope you dance – ronan keating
Listening to: Dawn of a new day – in flames
Thinking about: Randomly randomness.

Annoyed by: maths studying, people who are away on msn, songs that arent on limewire
Cheered by: finishing studying, people who come back online, songs I have on CD
Mood: Bubblated :L and high, and just very happy

Today I started eating my chocolate Mr Bunny and Mrs Ducky. Mr Bunny has no ears. Muaha Mr Bunny, muaha.

-----

I'm in one of my very weird, crazy, eccentric moods. (Again? Yes!)

People have been telling me all day that I am high (pssst… I know ;)), and yes, I am still high, and yes, my feet are off the ground.

You know how sometimes things just work? Well, things are working. Except my group… sorta. But only cuz we're never all there, what with their interact stuff and all. But we're still close, I think. I mean, we just, seem to all be there for each other. It's like, an unspoken bond. For me, that is cool!

-----

My sister recommended a molto awesome song to me today.

It is called "I hope you dance" and it is my the fabulosomundo Ronan Keating link to video. Link to lyrics. It's very cuteful, and partially about his daughter (??I think).

-----

Here, this is for a laugh. (Don't take my sense of humour too seriously guys) http://www.smithteens.com/sixwords/story.php?did=47316#comments

-----

And OHMYGOSH. Why does NO ONE understand the happy scale? Dead does not mean you actually explode or anything. It means you become EMOTIONALLY dead because the emotion is uncontainable within yourself. Yes, it is possible to be that happy and that sad.

Ebony's Happiness Scale

0 – Dead

1 – Should be in rehab

2 – Depressed

3 – Very sad

4 – Sad

5 – Meh

6 – Happy

7 – Very happy

8 – High

9 – Feet aren't touching the ground anymore

10 – Dead

-----

And now for today's song. (Because a day is not a day without a song [although yesterday didn't really have one {But I sung Stay beautiful enough to make it almost yesterday song (even though it's already been used [it's my blog, I make up the rules])}])

This is from the song "calling you" (actually listen to it, it's pretty good) by Blue October (and I hope you didn't listen to 18^th floor balcony, cuz that song sorta sucks)

Well expect me to be
Calling you to see
If you're OK when I'm not around
Asking if you love me
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile?
To make us smile

Well, I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming?
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me

Live.

May the fourth be with you

Oh yeah, I'm so funny sometimes… (come on, that's an awesome joke!) (if you don't like star wars, then you can just leave, okay?)

Quote: "I'm sure if you looked hard enough you'd find a valley that had never seen a broken heart. But I'd wager to say that that would be a loveless valley" (that might not be word perfect, and I don't know what it's from… I just remember it)
6 word memoir: "I wish our conversations lasted forever" -Lilly
Song in head: The Quiet Place – In Flames (cough)
Listening to: Send Me On My Way – Rusted Root

Thinking about: How different those two songs are…

Annoyed by: How hard it is to pick a memoir that actually fits what I'm feeling… that one went pretty close though.
Cheered by: Life. Sometimes, it really is that easy…
Mood: Content. I think that pretty much sums it up.

Haha, today in IPT, me, Mango, and Ian were rating our own happiness out of 10. I gave mine at 8.5, and Mango's like "you don't seem 8.5" so I changed it to 8 :L

Now I think I'm 8.25…

How happy are you today? (Just so no one whinges that they have nothing to comment on)

Today, I spelt a great deal of time with my mum/sister

I'm not sure why… :L

It was nice though, we were just talking

Trust me, they know, like, all the gossip that goes around at our school before half of you :P And she says I don't tell her anything pshhh…

I fell strangely happy now. It's like, I feel infinite again. I've really missed this. I feel like I can get as hurt as I want, because I'm strong enough to take it…

Some of us smithteeners (ok, so like, 4 of us) were recently discussing "songs to fall in love to" and all of them said that the best was 18^th floor balcony by blue october. So being me and all, I decided to download this song (honestly, if you saw half of the random songs on my computer, you would be very confused [and probably pretty scared too])

Anyways, this is the BESTES part of 18^th floor balcony:

So we talked about mom's and dad's
About family pasts
Just getting to know where we came from
Our hearts were on display
For all to see
I can't believe this is happening to me

And I raised my hand as if to show you that I was yours
That I was so yours for the taking
I'm so yours for the taking
That's when I felt the wind pick up
I grabbed the rail while choking up
These words to say and then you kissed me...

Alrighties then, I should go, like, nowish (and EAT!!)

Enjoy your Monday peoples. (It's ok though, because tomorrow is Tuesday <33)

Yeah, Tuesday are le awesome!!

(Remember to comment! ;))

Hope.

Quote: "If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?" - Casper the Friendly Ghost
Memoir: "He clamed me down. That's amazing." - crippled soul
Song in my head: Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script. Yeah, again
Listening to: Hold up a Light - Take That
Thinking about: how happy-making this song is. :L
Annoyed by: Stupid version of mediaplayer without the slidey bar thing
Cheered by: Being the only one awake
Mood: Excited. Huh, that's weird...

I dreamt that we held hands - magieadams1223

Good morning all, and welcome to Sunday.
The nothing day.
When me, my mum, my sister all work, my Dad watches the footy, and we do nothing.
We don't get in each other's way, we don't feel a need to spend ever single possible second together.
It's just Sunday.

"As the orchestra plays

The people take the seats

There's no room left in this house

It's only you and me

And if life is your stage

I'll be watching"

So...
You know, I sort of wonder why I even bother blogging anymore. It's not like I write anything important, and it's not like anyone reads it (or, you know, comments!) So, why is it here?
But then I remember that this where I vent away my negative energy, as well as spread my positive energy. and without it, I'm just a confused mash of emotions. So blog I shall.

"As we start, rehearsing every scene

The words to everything

We realise that

The crowd is listening"

I'm glad that she noticed, or more that she cared. But half of it is her fault. Because she makes me feel bad about myself on purpose, and then wonders why I'm upset. Maybe i can't take it as easily as you do, darling. Maybe it does actually mean something to me. And I cannot believe you toldme that YOU are upset that you can't trust me. Who do you think that might hurt more?

"And then the tears, fall down on your face

At exactly the right place

As the people stop to

Stand up in the aisles"

Slow down.
I know you like to go through life at an extremely fast pace, but occassionally it is better to take it slow. You're scarng people. Always rushing everywhere. Just let your life live itself, and hold on!

"You can hear the sound of violins

On every street tonight

You can see the lovers dancing round

I'll be watching!"

Let's summarise my yesterday:
I woke up at 6:18 (I assure you, this is a curse) and eventually convinced myself to get out of bed. Bummed around all day, not doing much. Some homework here and there... catching up on memoirs etc. Had a workmate's 21st at 6:30. Danced a lot with my Dad =). Came home, fell asleep.
Yup, that was yesterday.

Here's a secret: I'm scared shitless - colored.pencils

Ok, I should talk about something worthwhile for a change.
But nothing comes to mind...
So all of you have a fantabulousful Sunday and I shall see you at school tomorrow.

Dance.

"this is permission to break me" -amy-k3s-u

I feel like crazy dancing =S
I think it's the song I'm listening to :L
I think I'm happy at the moment. Happy in a crazy way, not asmiley way...
But if all I get is crazy happy, I'll take it.

DAMMIT! I feel like crazy dancing! Why can't anyone else be awake in my house?? You lazy ones! Honestly! It's almost 8:00!!!

"you can dance if you like,
you can sing every line of every song,
no you don't have to steal the show,
it was your show all along"

uhmmm, so.....

one - she thought i didn't know. silly, silly girl.
TWO - SMILE. SMILE FOR ME.
three - there's nothing you can do about it
four - i don't need to miss you.

well then, that was...that

haha, i'll blog later, i think my parents are going shoppping =)

Progress...

one - i don't know if you know what i meant, i really hope you do
TWO - IT'S AROUND ABOUT NOW THAT YOU START FORGETTING. BUT PLEASE JUST HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER...
three - i'm doing it again, some things never change
four - i thought i was making progress...

Hmmm... life is so boring without MSN...
I don't even have anything to write...

-----

Just a small town boy and girl
Living in a crazy world
Trying to figure out what is and isn't true
And I don't try to hide my tears
The secrets or my deepest hears
Through it all, nobody gets me like you do
And you know everything about me
You say that you can't live without me...

I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do...
Well, you drive me crazy half the time
The other half, I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you

-----

"wants to take leaps. so afraid" - DyingEmber

the worst part was that they couldn't tell how scared i was... several random people walked up to me and asked if i was okay... with a shaky laugh i told them that i wasn't... but that i would be... eventually... i guess that's not really true, a part of me was ecstatically happy, and a part of me was falling more and more...

but they couldn't tell...
and i know that should make me feel bad... or alone... but it didn't... i'm not alone, i'll never be alone. so yes, the worst part was that there was no worst part... and that's bad...
damn, even i don't quite get that... i just know that there should be a bad part to that...
my gosh, this is very hard to talk about without mentioning names...

moving on...

-----

Hello, I'm Ebony, and everday I become more and more disappointed in myself. And then I feel really guilty, and then I get upset. And other people shouldn't have to put up with me being upset... so then I feel more guilty. In the end, I usually just wander around by myself for a little while... people have learnt to understand this, and just let me be... but sometimes I wish someone would come up and hug me, or let me cry on them...I go mental by myself. I guess... if it was someone else, I wouldn't go up to them, but that's because I'd feel like I'm intruding... I don't think people feel like that about me, because I don't really have personal space. Sometimes I wonder why no one bothers...

-----

Hello, and welcome to MAY!
Which causes us to reflect on April.
April was a pretty awesome month, when you think about it...
A lot happened, a lot changed, a lot stayed the same...

Words from April:
Inspire.
Appreciate.
Care.
Understand.
Create.
Grow.
Imagine.
Jump.
Belong.
Fall.
Sleep.

{{Sleep doesn't really fit, huh?}}

I think that's a very pretty list... it's all taken from my 'Dream' pictures. (I write them in Geo/History when I get bored, and Shai/Corinne are working/being boring. That's actually more common than you'd think)
(Sleep is my favourite...)

-----

Hmmmmm....
"I know it makes no sense, what else can I do? How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?" ALL DAY I have been singing "Man who can't be moved" ALL DAY! And ALL DAY I have gotten stuck at the SAME PART... that's the line I couldn't remember. Le sigh, if only I had known that a few hours ago...

-----

I feel like I'm on an emotional see-saw.

(Does that really need an explanation? It's sorta self explanatory...)

-----

Hello, I'm Ebony... yeah, still... and I feel very happy... for a large duration of my day... but coming home makes me sad, especially when it's for the weekend... I know that I have lots of reasons to smile, and I do smile, but I smile so excessively during the day, my cheeks hurt when I get home, so then I'm exhausted from being so happy... and I just laze around... all sad :L

-----

"Don't be surprised if I stumble over my words when I talk to you, it's only cause it's hard to talk with a big grin on my face, and don't be surprised if I can't look you in the eyes when we talk, it's only cause sometimes it hurts to look at something so perfect"

-KML.

-----

I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak
I lose all control, then something comes over me
In a daze, your love's so amazing
It's not a phase, I want you to stay with me
By my side, I swallow my pride
Your love is so sweet, it knocks me right off of my feet
Can't explain why you're loving makes me weak

-----

Hello, it's me again... I just wanted to say thankyou... again... yeah, it's getting a bit old now, sure, but I mean it. And I'm sorry... yeah that should have probably come first... I'm really sorry.

Sleep.

...Because what else is there to do at nights when you are bored and banned from MSN?

Nothing but blog.

-----

Hello, I'm Ebony, and I'm no longer addicted to NCIS. It has been about 6 months now since I discovered the genius that is Mark Harmon, but through my 12 step program (amongst other things) I am now over it.

-----

Word of the day: fall

What it means: 1. descend from higher position to lower position 2. come down suddenly from standing position 3. to become lower 4. to hang down 5. to be cast down 6. to succumb to temptaion 7. to lose high position 8. to succumb to attack 9. to drop down wounded or dead 10. to pass into some condition 11. to become 12. to come as if by dropping 13. to come by chance 14. to come to occur 15. to have proper place 16. to issue or proceed (in speech) 17. to be naturally divisible 18. to lose animation 19. to slope 20. to be directed 21. to fell 22. to separate 23. the act of falling 24.sinking, becoming less 25. cataract or waterall 26. downward slop 27. falling to ground 28. hanging down 29. lapse into sin 30. surrender or capture 31.a. in wrestling, being thrown on back b. bout 32. loosely hanging veil 33. lowering ships boat 34. Autumn 35. trees suitable for felling.

Why I care: It's one of the suggestions for labels (that's a bunch of bullshit. I also have other bullshit reasons including 1. because theres lots of defintions 2. because that's the page the dictionary fell open at and 3. there's 31 part a and b, and that is hilarious)(I don't know why I'm not writing the real reason, I think it's because I'm scared of the real reason)

Well that's further than any other dictionary definition has ever gone before.

-----

Hello, I'm Ebony, and I've done nothing but lie for the entire duration of this blog. But if you know me well enough (as only 2 of you do) you'll know my real reasons behind everything, and you'll understand the points I'm trying to get across.

-----

Better late than never…

one – just like the fireflies…

TWO – YEAH, YEAH I NOTICED, I THINK YOU DID TOO…

three – It really didn't help... but I appreciated it more than you will ever know

four - You have no idea how much I meant that

-----

And just because I'm retarded

Dear heart,

I would recommend pacing yourself - JustAFaceInThe Crowd

Oh, and if you guys don't get this post... you are totally not alone. I think the whole 'sleep' idea is a good one, 9:30 is not my smartest time...

People try to hand me money, they don't understand

I'm not broke, I'm just a broken-hearted man

Yeah, that's it. Sad that I used most of this to define a word...

Fall.

"I had to burn my diary because I realized that things were worse than I remembered. I never want to read it again."

Not too long ago, I started thumbing through my old diary.
I started it when I was 7/8, and kept it pretty consistently (wrote every few weeks) until year 8. (I started running out of space and didn't want to finish it unworthily[it's a word if I want it to be]).

Reading through that diary, I realise how depressed I was as a kid. I mean, each page contemplating... you know what, let's not think about that.

The point is that every now and then, I swing back into that mood. I take a really big leap, and it doesn't pay off, and I start falling. Rock bottom isn't all that an uncommon place for me.

My life works in waves. It goes up and down, and up and down. Happy and sad, happy and sad. The last time everything was sad, I didn't really tell my blog. I think that was probably bad for me, because I didn't face up to it. But it was also better for me because I made myself focus on the positives in everything. I'll tell you next time though.

At the moment, the waves occur very quickly. Home is very negative, school/blog is very positive. But it's evening out... or at least everything is becoming more positive :L.

I realised today that I do my own thing now. I don't just take things for what they are, I challenge everything, I ask too many questions, and I figure out what I want to do, not what everyone else wants me to do. It's a nice change...

You know what Corinne said to me today whilst we were DNMing?? (Hello Corinne)
She said "When I'm having a bad day, I like to talk to you, you make me happier"
Yes, that made my day yesterday :L

That, and, butterflies and rainbows (cough).

Anyways! LAST time I wrote these lyrics on my blog (all the way back on April 6th), they had a special purpose. Today, I was looking over my blog... and I read them and realised that a lot of what they were used for then applies to what I wanted todays song for.
But, it's been used before, so you only get a snippet.
(I've been listening to the first two lines on loop for about 20 minutes now. le sigh.)

You look so beautiful today...
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away...
So I try to find the words that I could say
I know distance doesn't matter, but you feel so far away
And I can't lie
Everytime I leave my heart turns grey...

-----

OK, this is today's song...
i actually can't find it on youtube =S

it's called 'my little angel' and it's by 'william shakespeare' (real name john cave). it was released in november 1974, but hit the number one spot in early 1975. it was written by harry vanda and george young (guitarists from easybeats) (i dont know why im telling you so much about this song). anyways, here are the beautiful lyrics :L

Spoken:
It was on a cold December afternoon
Doesn't seem like that long ago
I was sitting on my feet by my old fireplace
When in walked my little girl home from school
And I could see that something was wrong
By the tears that were rolling down her face

Sung:
And she said "Daddy, Daddy, at school today
Somebody told me a lie!"
And after hearing what she had heard
I told her not to cry - it hurt to see her cry

Because she's my, my little angel
My little angel, my little angel when she smi-i-i-iles
Oh yes she's my, my little angel
And I don't ever want to see her cry-y

Spoken:
What she heard was that angels didn't really exist
That they were just a part of fables, fairytales, any ol' how
"Of course there are angels" I said
Everybody has an angel that takes care of them
In fact, I know there's a real live angel right now

Sung:
And she said "Daddy, Daddy, please tell me where
And tell me how do you know"
I said "easy, now if you listen close it's not too far too go,
and this is how i know

Because you're my, my little angel
My little angel, my little angel when you smi-i-i-ile
Oh yes you're my, my little angel
My little angel, and I don't ever want to see you cry-y"

Now I miss her dearly, since she left that day
But I know she is near me every hour, every day
Because she's... because she's my, my little angel
My little angel, my little angel, yes she's mi-i-i-ine

Ahh, she's so fine, my little angel, my little angel
And I know that she's with me all the time
With me all the time, my little angel
My little angel, my little angel

-----

I always cry when I hear that song, at the part where he tells her she's his angel, and the part where she leaves him.
Yeah, the lyrics DO actually mean something, and the song is REALLY good, except it apparently doesn't exist =S (I didn't know there were songs not on limewire...)

Belong.

one - and everything just keeps changed, fat lot of good that is
TWO - I KNOW YOU CAN GET THIS RIGHT... TRY FOR ME.
three - i've decided what to say and everything...
four - come back...

Hello, I'm Ebony, and I spent a great deal of time today contemplating my stupidosity. And thankyou for telling me that I'm not stupid. But really... I am. Because I don't believe in myself anymore. And I don't trust myself. And I should... especially when I'm right... but then when I don't know if I'm right, and I'm not sure whether to believe I'm right, so I just use me being wrong as a hypothetical until I manage to convince myself I'm wrong and that I shouldn't trust myself.

"I know it's hard to believe, what with my obvious charm and good looks, but people used to think I was a monster, and for a while, I believed them"

And... wait...

Everything is okay now.

And sure, it's not gonns be okay in 5 minutes time. Hell, it's not gonna be okay in 30 seconds time. But right now, everything is fine, and that's all that matters.

Everything fits, then everything falls apart. "Some things fall apart for others to fall together", but some things just fall apart.

And there's something I should write here but it will take me too long:L
Speaking of! AMY!!! I need to tell you about Ben :L
OK guys, goodbye! I might post tomorrow...


You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She'll never get your humour like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Wakin the streets with you and your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that can light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey what you doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleechers
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been there all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you know baby?
You belong with me

Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're bout to cry
I know your favourite songs, and you tell me bout your dreams
I think I know where you belong, I think I know it's with me

blah-di-blah-chorus-etc

Ebony's mind

one - everything changed for real. where did the smile go?
TWO - YOU HURT ME. DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.
three - have you figured it out yet?
four - i miss you.

Hello, I'm Ebony, and you left again.
Hello, I'm Ebony, and it's getting harder to smile.
Hello, I'm Ebony, and my family are a mystery to me.
Hello, I'm Ebony, and I'm in a very pesimistic mood.
Hello, I'm Ebony, and I have nothing to thank you for
Hello, I'm Ebony, and it doesn't make sense anymore
Hello, I'm Ebony, and everything changed
Hello, I'm Ebony, and everything is falling apart.
Hello, I'm Ebony, and I still can't wait till Tuesday

{{that whole half of the blog corresponds directly to yesterday}}

Ahh, the beautiful letters. The pretty little words arranged across the beautifully decorated paper. The tear drop marks left at strategic places along the lines. The beauty, and the pain, and all it does is cause more pain. All you do is cause more pain. I, too, am sorry that you can't see it. My darling you hurt me in ways that seem impossible. Everytime I open a letter I shudder, remembering the past. Why must we repeat ourselves? Have we learnt nothing of our past mistakes that we fall into the exact same cycle? Of course we haven't. This is what we do.

Spend all your time waiting for a second chance
For a break that would make it ok
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction
Or beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins

Ebony's cloud <33

one - everything changed. i blinked. everything changed back. i smiled.
TWO - I'M NOT WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE. DEAL.
three - things change sweetie. it just changed... that's all.
four - just smile. you're back!

Hello, I'm Ebony, and I said yesterday that I missed you. Today you came back.
Hello, I'm Ebony, and I'm going to let myself smile now.
Hello, I'm Ebony, and my family is finally making some sense...
Hello, I'm Ebony, and I'm in an extraordinarily optimistic mood...
Hello, I'm Ebony, and I just want to say thankyou
Hello, I'm Ebony, and it's starting to make sense now
Hello, I'm Ebony, and I don't want anything to change
Hello, I'm Ebony, and everything is falling into place
Hello, I'm Ebony, and I can't wait till Tuesday either

(^^ this is the very weird, incredible mood that talking to YOU puts me in)

Today is beautiful, wonderful ANZAC Day!

Which means I went into the city! And watched my grandpa march =) And cried a lot. Because that is what I do on ANZAC Day. And then we went to the Lindt cafe. (The first of its kind in the world) and I had a very nice hot chocolate. And then we went to the footy. And we totally creamed the roosters. TOTALLY CREAMED. (did everyone get that? totally creamed!) (29-0 guys)

Ok, damn, I summed up my day in a paragraph. I am totally losing my touch.
See, if I was tlaking, I would say heaps more, because I never run out of air. But typing, takes up so much time/energy that, well, this is it.
OK?

Damn, I'm getting so lazy now. I even chucked out my "hi-5!!!" and just lo-5 people (yeah, i blame you!)

speaking of...
Today, Ebony discovered something very weird about herself (in 3rd person)
She discovered how much she likes a very un-Ebony band.
(No, it's not AAR, we already knew that one :L)
(shall we further your musical education?)

You know what? I never write the names of artists before I write the song.
So here you go, cloud connected:
(Maybe, just read the lyrics and never hurt your precious little ears by listening to the song :L)

People like you
You live in a dream world
You despise the outside
And you fear the next one!

It's in your dream
There's just one question
Should I kill?
Or should I be left behind?

Sick and tired
Of all your complaints
This is the hour
We bring them down!

I've come to realise
With every little glimpse, you fade
I was told that I could fly
When least expected,
Cloud connected

You seem to be
So introverted
How come we fail
With all that is given?

You crossed the line
You remember my name
Time runs backwards
As we're heading that way

I've come to realise
With every little glimpse, you fade
I was told that I could fly
When least expected,
Cloud connected

I've come to realise
With every little glimpse, you fade
I was told that I could fly
When least expected,
Cloud connected

One-way ticket

one - the randomest part wasn't the bananas or the tent pegs...
TWO - I HAVE SOMETHIGN TO TELL YOU BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW
three - it already feels nice to think about...
four - i still miss you

I have this feeling that everyone secretly resents me
I think it's because I've recently found my inner resentment for everyone else.
That sounds bitchy, I'll explain

I'm very one-sided.
I am capable of giving a lot more than I can receive
So I give a lot, and people get sick of taking it because I'm being annoying (or being Ebony, as I like to phrase it)
So then they push me away, if only for a second
And I take everything back and hate them for it.

Damn, I explained this a lot better yesterday.

Vanessa and I were very bored at work yesterday, so we started making a list of "5 Guys I'd Like To Be In An Elevator With". We came up with many more than 5. So we decided it would be a boat. And we would cruise the world. But this means we have to bring "5 Guys I'd Like To Have At My Dinner Table" into it, because of the whole being on a cruise and having a conversation thing.
Here is a very slight snippet of the population of our boat:

Tyson Ritter
Mark Harmon (<33)
George Clooney
Harisson Ford
House
Colin Firth
Matthew McConaughey
Jean-Luc Picard
Antonio Banderas
Brad Pitt
JFK Junior
Harm Rabb (JAG)
Jared Padelecki
Milo Ventimiglia
Johnny Depp
Orlando Bloom
Dick Van Dyke

Cory's eyes are like a jungle, he smile's it's like the radio
He whispers words into my window in words that nobody knows
There's pretty girls on every corner, they watch him as he's walking home
Saying "does he know?" Will you ever know?

You're beautiful, every little piece, love
Don't you know? You're really gonna be someone
Ask anyone
When you find everything you've looked for
I hope your life leads you back tomy door
Oh, but if it don't
Stay beautiful

Cory finds another way to be the highlight of my day
I'm taking pictures in my mind so I can save them for a rainy day
It's hard to make conversation when he's taking my breath away
I should say "hey, by the way..."

You're beautiful, ever little piece love
Don't you know? You're really gonna be someone
Ask anyone
When you find everything you've looked for
I hope for life leads you back to my door
Oh but if it don't,
Stay beautiful

If you and I are a story that never gets told
If what you are is a daydream, I never get to hold
At least you'll know..

You're beautiful, every little piece love
Don't you know? You're really gonna be someone
Ask anyone
And when you find every thing you've looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my front door
Oh, but if it don't, will you stay...
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
La la la
Oh, oh oh oh,
Oh, but if it don't
Stay beautiful
Stay beautiful

Ladies and gentlemen (mainly ladies though), this is Sean Faris.

You know, the picture pretty much says it all.

Hello, I'm Ebony

Hello, I'm Ebony, and I know I'm still lying to myself, but I try to listen to my heart a little more, and she tries to tell me what the hell is going on.

-----

I really would have blogged over the past few days, but I've been really busy.
Sat - easter show
Sun - work, then joannies party
Mon - joannies party, then pick sis up from work, take her to friends house, watch footy with dad =)

speaking of; the dragons arent winning anymores =(
(no, i dont follow football. i just happydance with my dad when we are on top of the leader board. and cut out the exerpt from the newspaper to put on his wrk mate's desk to rub it in his face)

-----

Hello, I'm Ebony, and I'm happy for the first time in a long time. I'm doing everything I can to make it permanent, but I don't trust myself enough to.

-----

You don't hurt me anymore.

That is the best feeling in the world. That you don't hurt me, you have nothing to hold over my head anymore. I'm a better person than you. I win <33

-----

Hello, I'm Ebony, and I'm really lucky. I don't often remember how lucky I am, and usually that means I lose things that mean a lot to me. But I've decided to appreciate things more. It's all to keep now.

-----

I know I don't thank you enough. And sure, it probably gets really annoying. But everytime I'm about to, you say something that really annoys me. So, sure, you're a great friend. But you annoy me so often... thankyou. i don't know if i mean that

-----

Hello, I'm Ebony, and my favourite part of the day is being alone. Especially just before I go to sleep. Because no one tells me off for not doing stuff, and I get to just think. Think a lot.

-----

everyday is lifechanging, have you noticed that? when you wake up in the morning, you now that by nighttime everything will be different. every part of your life will have changed. some for the better, and some for the worse. but they'll all be different. 24 hours doesnt seem like that long a time, but it is... and when people say life is short... are they kidding?! if TODAY is long, then life is like.... infinite. i mean, imagine what you will go through before you die... imagine how much everything will change ...now tell me life is short (actually don't, i might get annoyed at you)

-----

Hello, I'm Ebony, and I'm scared of a lot of things in life. I'm scared of change, I'm scared of myself, I'm scared of the dark, I'm scared of death, I'm scared of life, I'm scared of being lonely.

-----

One- more thing before I go

Two- the one who loves me so

Three- don't make me count to three again

I think that is hilarious.
I am clearly very easily amused.

Stop pretending

That what you mean isn't what you say

Haha, but it isn't.

-----

Hello, I'm Ebony, and my blog has become a way that I figure out myself, but it's really just made me realise that I don't know myself at all. And more than that, I never want to know myself.
So I'll stop blogging now...

Jump.

Hello. I'm Natalie, and I'm miserable, but not actively.

Hello, I'm Danielle, and I've been getting used to misery so much, I'm becoming somewhat happy again.

Hello. I'm Chelsea, and I'm miserable too, the last time I was happy without faking it I was six. It's ten years later, and for the first time, I have a genuine reason to be happy and I'm still miserable, I don't know how to let it out.

Hello everyone, I'm not ready to tell you my name yet, and I recently met some people that make me smile, but I'm too afraid that if I get close to them, I'll lose them like everyone else.

Hello, I'm Casey and i'm a little bit afraid of everything

Hello...
I'm Jordan, and I'm sorry.



Welcome to Misery's Anonymous.

I don't know why I'm doing this. I think because I want somone to understand me, and I want people to be more trusting and honest. I think by doing this I'm causing greater dishonesty. But I'm the one who screws everything up anyways.

-----

Cory finds another way to be the highlight of my day

I'm taking pictures in my mind so I can save them for a rainy day

It's hard to make conversation when he's taking my breath away...

-----

Sometimes I just want to jump.
I think the fall would be good for me.
There comes a point when it helps to let go...
Maybe I'm ready to let go of it...
Maybe, before I stuff it up, I should admit it to myself.
My conscience can only deal with so much.

it isn't just an Egyptian river;
denial. - trippinballsdude

But now I'm lying to myself again, aren't I?
I think I've forgotten how to tell myself the truth
I think I sugarcoat it in so many lies and wishes,
That 'truth' loses all meaning.

And yet, both sides of the story have equal 'truth'
My ability to argue them both cannot be a good thing...
I don't know which I feel, which I believe...

But what if these thoughts can unite?
What if both sides can be true?
What if it can change?
And I can stop lying to myself?

But I know that will never happen,
For as long as my head and heart are at war
I will always be lying to myself...

-----

By the way, my conscience, her name is Laura.

-----

I know you know somewhere inside of you tht this is all about you. I know countless others will assume it's about them, but you will doubt it. Please never doubt yourself.

Under house arrest

My mother is officially doing anything within her power to keep me from my computer. Thus lack of blogs. (I call in lack, you call it no more blog flooding, but we're on the same page).

This is all I really have time for, I'm going to the city today with dad + nikki, and then we're going to a friend's place for dinner. I don't think I'll get around to blogging about my work getting flooded and having to evacuate. (And the story has such potential too), just make up the details in your head. It's funnier that way…

Here's the thingimo stealed form miish/nina/amy

Ten things I could say to ten different people right now:
1. Thankyou for never taking anything for granted. You are so amazing, and I'm so glad I get to see it.
2. You're beautiful, and sure, people see that now, but I saw it first. Stay beautiful.
3. I'm scared we're drifting. I love you, and everytime we move further apart, it tears me up inside. =(
4. Thanks for being so amazingly you. I really miss you, so much, I hope we have some classes together next year.
5. You don't see me the way I do. You think you see more of me, but you actually only see a part of me. Look deeper.
6. I want to make you happy. Sure, you smile, but so do I. You are such a good friend, and I want you to be happy.
7. I'm sorry if I got too close. But I'm more sorry that you started to walk away. I miss that closeness we had…
8. I know I always thankyou for being you, the truth is I don't what else to say. You stay unwavering, nothing changes.
9. You're getting on my nerves. A lot. You're so selfish, and stubborn, and rude. Everything I see in myself.
10. I want to be you. You in every possible way. You're amazing way of dealing with every situation. Teach me.

Nine things about myself:
1. My mind usually makes sense to me. Just like Amy. Cuz I'm not random, if you understand me.
2. I love you guys more than you will ever know. And it hurts me everytime you don't want a hug.
3. I overanalyse EVERYTHING. Usually it's just a thinking too much thing. But I can be entertained for hours by a number plate…
4. I always make a wish on 11:11. But for the past week, it's been a wish that everything will stay the same.
5. I'm always either happy or sad. I don't really have "ok" moods. That means either I'm generally happy and currently sad or generally sad and currently happy.
6. I copy people in a lot of ways, but I only do it if I admire something in you. Usually people get pissed off by it, but it's a pretty big compliment.
7. I'm lonely a lot. Especially now that I lost my teddy bear. I really want someone to hug.
8. I have an awesome life. Because all the shit that happened to me, happened a long time ago, and now everything is awesome.
9. I have the craziest dreams EVER. Like the nocturnal cannibal one, and last night I dreamt about a cat jumping out of a person. I'm just imaginative.

Eight ways to win my heart:
1. Make me laugh. (That's really easy)
2. Talk to me when there's other people around that are awesomer than me, but you'd prefer to talk to me.
3. Haha, appearing offline, still talking to me… (inside joke)
4. Chocolate… it has to be said
5. Understanding me, that's asking for a lot, but yeah, knowing what everything I say means.
6. Tell me that you appreciate me. Or that you enjoy talking to me, or that I make you smile. Or all of the above :L
7. Talk to me when you have nothing to say, but just feel like talking to me. We'll think of something to talk about…
8. Catch my eye and wink. Since I totally fail at winking, this is very awesome. ;)


Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1. what job I'll have in the future
2. general contemplating of the universe…
3. why people say the things they say
4. how people end up how they do
5. whether I'll ever have the child I'm dying to have
6. whether other people are thinking about me
7. what other people are doing at 8:00 in the morning (I think sleeping?)

Six things I wish I never did:
1. pretend to be something I'm not
2. let myself be distanced from some people
3. screw up a particular friendship
4. give up.
5. let go
6. frown

Five turn ons:
1. witty sense of humour. Laughs at things that are normally taken seriously, but also likes to talk DNM.
2. Abnormality. But not in an insane way, just in a does-their-own-thing way.
3. Hazel eyes (yes, I am that shallow)
4. Not afraid to be theirself.
5. Really nice smile. =)

Four turn offs:
1. not able to hold a conversation with me.
2. always follows rules, even the stupid ones
3. breaks own rules. Everyone should have some moral codes.
4. Smoking. It has been said before, it will be said again. ("Hit anyone that smokes weed" "okay?")

Three smileys that describe my life:
1. :)/:L – come on people, bebo!!
2. :S
3. :O

Two things I want to do before I die:
1. Fall in love

2. Be satisfied with my life

One confession:
1. I'm no fool…

Thank God she's back

I made up my mind not to get on MSN until I finished blogging about my weekend.
Of course, I am very weakminded, and so far haven't started blogging. Clearly.
I have to go though, because, clearly, MSN is more important. I will finish this blog in the morning, I just want you to know that I didn't forget.

Ebony wakes up next morning and writes:

We drove to Laurieton. I don't remember much of that... well, it's not important.We listened to crazy dance songs, that was the highlight.
Saturday night... (this is a long, off topic explanation, bear with it)

When I first watched PS: I love you, I was mesmirised. It perfectly described the way you could so completely miss someone, who, in a way, it seemed stayed close. But they weren't close enough to touch, or close enough to see; just close enough to never forget, just close enough to miss.
There was only one part of the movie I disagreed with. She said that women didn't know what they wanted. I have always had chrystal clear views on what I want. Until Saturday night.
(I really take off topic to the next level)

Getting away from everyone in my world for a bit tends to be a real eye opener for me. But this time... words cannot describe.
Anyone from CC camp who remembers Wednesday night (no comment), that was prett much Saturday (not in the way you're thinking). At least, the sadness and insecurity of it. The part that no one gets to see. That no one bothers to look for.

ANYWAYS, that was that. (To hear a freaky/interesting/hilarious/weird story, aske me at school about Ben. I cbb to type it)

Sunday was the baby shower. That was short + sweet, she got some nice gifts, we played a few games, all was good.

Monday we stopped in at the house again for a cup of coffee (=)) and then we were off. We gradually trekked home. I saw a place called coolabah and had Waltzing Matilda stuck in my head for half an hour. We had lunch at Taree. Got back on the roads, and there was SO MUCH TRAFFIC. We were practically parked. It was so ridicuous. I wanted to start talking to the people in the car next to us, but my mum wouldn't let me, I waved a lot though.
Anyways, it was forever until we got hme, and then my mummy hogged my computer to check her emails because she thinks her social life is more important than mine.

And that was our trip.
On the way home, we started naming as many Beatles songs as we can
And singing them.
Sure we were singing the wrong lyrics offkey and out of tune, but we were... a family. And that felt really nice. We did the same thing with Monkees songs. It was pretty fun.


OK, SONG!!
And this time, I seriously want you guys to dowload it.
This song is the saddest thing.
It was about this incident (I love you wikipedia) where a 16 year old girl shot people at a school because she doesn't like Mondays, and she wanted something to do.
She killed 2 adults and injured 8 children.
I don't like Mondays either, but honestly...

Anyways the song is "I don't like Monday" by the Boomtown Rats

To hear it (I don't like its clip) click here. But download it anyway, you have to listen to it a few times to truly appreciate it.

Happy Easter!

I have sad news.

I'm going away for the weekend =O.
B..b..ut... blog??
No. No blog.
You will have to survive without me.
I know it's hard.
But I have faith in you.
You can make it through.

ANYWAYS!
I'm gonna tell you about my easter.

Holy Thursday

so much for last supper. we had pizza in front of the tv using the box as a plate.
but we bought our easter eggs!
well, mum did, after she finished her shift at work.
yes, that is the organisational skills of my family.
in comparisson, im organised
what a shocking revelation...
so yes, i got 2 Lindt bunnies.
=)

Good Friday

the whole family congregates at my auntys to eat.
this is what we do best. eat.
and we'll all catch up
and share chocolate =)
andme and nikki sitll go on an easter hunt
even though we're older
except my aunty writes down the hiding places cuz she can never remember
but hte places she hides are like...impossible
so all my aunts + uncles try and cheat for us
but no one can ever find anything :L
and we do lots of eating

Easter Saturday

Driving to Laurieton for my ex-neighbour's 18th. (Shaarn)
This starts at, like, 4-ish.
We do whatever it is we do.
Check into motel.
I do history hw :L (I've planned my hw for the entire holidays)
We sleep.

Easter Sunday

Wake up Give eggs?
Go to Shaarn's sister's baby shower (Amiee)
Do whatever it is we do
Go back to motel
Bond.
We sleep.

Easter Monday

We drivey drivey back to Sydney.
I convince Dad not to speed cuz its double demerits
He doesn't listen, speeds anyway
I tell him i dont like it when he speeds
he tells me i can walk
i shut up for duration of car trip.
i am possibly on msn (victor: note the POSSIBLY)
My mum screams at me for being on MSN the second i get home "like you can't live without your friends for 2 days"
me: "but i havnt spoken to them since friday"
mum: "youve got the whole holidays"
me: "please mum, just an hour"
mum: "youve got 30 minutes"
me: "thanks mum, i love you" *gives hug*



And that concludes easter.
I'm sure there's something in there about Jesus...
ok then...

Yay Jesus! You die! And be reborn! Yippee!

That wasn't very good.
I'm sorry I totally fail as a catholic

Person who catches train with ebony and sometimes eats almonds: "are you christian?"
ebony, confused: "Im not sure"
Person who catches train with ebony and sometimes eats almonds: "what do you mean?"
ebony, confused: *shrugs*

(I stole the almonds thing from Surviving Myself)

Have a great easter guys!

Imagine.

Now that I have your attention. (such extreme measures, i know)
I am blogging. Well done for noticing.
I am blogging because I should.
And I'm sure I actually have something to say...
And if I do, we shall discover it.
With pictures!

(Note to readers: Today I reached my 100th post of 2009! Which I totally forgot to celebrate. Shall this be the belated birthday?)(Thankyou Mango for bringing that to my attention)

Hello little sunshines.
And welcome to the world of Ebony's mind.
Thankyou for all being my sunshines.
I know that sounds very silly.
But I truly appreciate all of you and your little glows.
The beams of light that comes of all of you and make my world glow.
Many people ask me why I'm always so happy.
The secret is: you.
My sunshines.

I think I am perhaps a person of poor taste.
At least, that is what everyone tells me.
Although it's true. I can never see ugly.
I find that so weird.
But tell me, what is ugly?
How can something be ugly? (other than the colour pink)
What makes it ugly?
I don't really understand.
Why does one thing have more beauty than another? (unless we are speaking of tyson ritter, in which case it is acceptable)

That gives me hope.
And reminds me of my English story.
But it makes me smile.
And believe in something stronger than myself.

"Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have" - Alvi.
Well, you know what I want Alvi? I want you to catch the bus on the last wednesday of term so I can see you one last time before holidays. But that's not something I have, is it?
Getting back to the point of the picture. I like being able to see sparkles in everything (gosh, maybe i'll just be crazy for the whole post) (its such a luna lovegood mood)
go away reality. i dont like you very much. the people in my head are much nicer to me. =)

and maybe some things will never be okay. maybe there are some things that can never be forgiven. and somethings that will forever remain problematic. and maybe im not ready to forget everything just because youve decided that i should.

but i survived it. and that means more to me than your pathetic attemts to make me forget it. i am stronger now. i wont break so easily next time.

i know that i never let anyone take photos of me. and i know im tarnishing my memories. but i never ever forget anything, and i dont need photos to help me. my blog documents everything :L

from here...

i want to make more people smile

i want to make someone's day, everyday

i want to learn to love myself again

i want to learn to love everyone else

i want to be there for someone

i want someone to be there for me

and that will all happen.

because i get to choose.

i totally volunteer to do that.

you aggrivate me so much.

how can someone i care so much about do that?

'ungrateful' was the word i used

and i was right

you have so much... look at all your friends

but we're not just here to help you out

it would be nice if you returned the favour

and you know, if you could stop making us feel bad about ourselves...

that would be nice too...

that's just so true.

i like things in circles.

and things written in highlighters.

i.e. most/all of my 'Dream.' artworks :L

i should put them in circles...

today... my favourite song is... "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me" by Dusty Springfield =) I don't know what that says about me. Interpret at will.

Yesterday it was "Fallin' Apart" by AAR.

I remember the Friday night dinner at the grandparents. (how Gilmore girls). Every Friday night we would go over. A perfect meal would be prepared. We would all catch up. Everyone would laugh and smile, and, being wogs, we would eat (Note: this is how all wogs bond, over food). We would all sit at the huge dining room table, and this would be its only use... other than Christmas. My grandparents would smile as they watched their beautiful family. And then we would all play cards. Well, the adults. And when my aunty lost, as she would, so early, she would come and tell me and my sister a story. I still remember the stories, about the animals in the gardens. And then "i wanna go on an adventure".

I remember how my Dad would come back so happy, this was the only time he realy got to see his family. And I remember how much Mum hated those dinners. "It's such a hassle" she would say. "every Friday night, it's so inconvenient".

And eventually the dinners stopped. The Christmas celebrations moved to the children's houses. And the dining room table sits there. All alone in the room that is never used.

(This is very long and boring. I'm sorry if you read the whole thing)

(It makes me wanna write a story about a dining room table)

=)

No explanation necessary.

=) I told you all my secrets too...

Movie madness

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. There are 240 films on this list, put x's next to the films you've seen, then add them up.


() Rocky Horror Picture Show (i REALLY wanna see that!!)
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
Total: 4

() The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
() Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 8

( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( )Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 8

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Harry Potter 5
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 14

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect ( i rented it but never got around to watcing it =()
(x) 13 Going on 30 aka Suddenly 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 20

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) King Kong (2003)
Total so far: 23

(x) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 26

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 26

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
( ) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 29

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremacy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Curious George
Total so far: 35

( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss's Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 36

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
( ) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 39

(x) X-Men
( ) X-Men 2
( ) X-Men 3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 47

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
( ) Old School
(x) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far: 49

( ) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 50

( ) Baseketball
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Reject
(x) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 51

( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 53

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo !
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far: 55

( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 55

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 61

(x) The Matrix
( ) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
( ) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal

OVERALL TOTAL: 62

That's right Rosa, I totally kicked your ass, whilst still having a life. Oh yeah, I'm that cool!

PS: I may blog later. If I'm bothered.