Progress...

one - i don't know if you know what i meant, i really hope you do
TWO - IT'S AROUND ABOUT NOW THAT YOU START FORGETTING. BUT PLEASE JUST HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER...
three - i'm doing it again, some things never change
four - i thought i was making progress...

Hmmm... life is so boring without MSN...
I don't even have anything to write...

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Just a small town boy and girl
Living in a crazy world
Trying to figure out what is and isn't true
And I don't try to hide my tears
The secrets or my deepest hears
Through it all, nobody gets me like you do
And you know everything about me
You say that you can't live without me...

I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do...
Well, you drive me crazy half the time
The other half, I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you

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"wants to take leaps. so afraid" - DyingEmber

the worst part was that they couldn't tell how scared i was... several random people walked up to me and asked if i was okay... with a shaky laugh i told them that i wasn't... but that i would be... eventually... i guess that's not really true, a part of me was ecstatically happy, and a part of me was falling more and more...

but they couldn't tell...
and i know that should make me feel bad... or alone... but it didn't... i'm not alone, i'll never be alone. so yes, the worst part was that there was no worst part... and that's bad...
damn, even i don't quite get that... i just know that there should be a bad part to that...
my gosh, this is very hard to talk about without mentioning names...

moving on...

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Hello, I'm Ebony, and everday I become more and more disappointed in myself. And then I feel really guilty, and then I get upset. And other people shouldn't have to put up with me being upset... so then I feel more guilty. In the end, I usually just wander around by myself for a little while... people have learnt to understand this, and just let me be... but sometimes I wish someone would come up and hug me, or let me cry on them...I go mental by myself. I guess... if it was someone else, I wouldn't go up to them, but that's because I'd feel like I'm intruding... I don't think people feel like that about me, because I don't really have personal space. Sometimes I wonder why no one bothers...

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Hello, and welcome to MAY!
Which causes us to reflect on April.
April was a pretty awesome month, when you think about it...
A lot happened, a lot changed, a lot stayed the same...

Words from April:
Inspire.
Appreciate.
Care.
Understand.
Create.
Grow.
Imagine.
Jump.
Belong.
Fall.
Sleep.

{{Sleep doesn't really fit, huh?}}

I think that's a very pretty list... it's all taken from my 'Dream' pictures. (I write them in Geo/History when I get bored, and Shai/Corinne are working/being boring. That's actually more common than you'd think)
(Sleep is my favourite...)

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Hmmmmm....
"I know it makes no sense, what else can I do? How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?" ALL DAY I have been singing "Man who can't be moved" ALL DAY! And ALL DAY I have gotten stuck at the SAME PART... that's the line I couldn't remember. Le sigh, if only I had known that a few hours ago...

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I feel like I'm on an emotional see-saw.

(Does that really need an explanation? It's sorta self explanatory...)

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Hello, I'm Ebony... yeah, still... and I feel very happy... for a large duration of my day... but coming home makes me sad, especially when it's for the weekend... I know that I have lots of reasons to smile, and I do smile, but I smile so excessively during the day, my cheeks hurt when I get home, so then I'm exhausted from being so happy... and I just laze around... all sad :L

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"Don't be surprised if I stumble over my words when I talk to you, it's only cause it's hard to talk with a big grin on my face, and don't be surprised if I can't look you in the eyes when we talk, it's only cause sometimes it hurts to look at something so perfect"

-KML.

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I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak
I lose all control, then something comes over me
In a daze, your love's so amazing
It's not a phase, I want you to stay with me
By my side, I swallow my pride
Your love is so sweet, it knocks me right off of my feet
Can't explain why you're loving makes me weak

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Hello, it's me again... I just wanted to say thankyou... again... yeah, it's getting a bit old now, sure, but I mean it. And I'm sorry... yeah that should have probably come first... I'm really sorry.