Worth every single mistake.

Hello, and welcome to June 18.
Otherwise known as Day 62. If you're weird...
I am blogging because:
a. I've been lazy lately.
b. My last blog didn't count.
c. Today is June 18.
d. I'm bored
e. I may have stuff to say.
Clearly, that's a lot of reasons.
Also, if you read this entire post, every single word, you will understand the title :L. That's right, you read it!

"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-colour boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-colour boxes, with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself a 64-colour box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colours like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-colour boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colours of like, of feeling, or articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-colour type, I'm like "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!""
- John Mayer.

I am a gust of wind. That swooshing feeling that makes you feel all cold, and run for shelter. The one that everyone wants to get away from, and they're glad when it's gone. The loud, gushing wind that numbs your fingers and itches at your eyeballs.
I don't want to be a gust.
I used to want to be a whirlwind. You know, one of those winds that fly in and everything changes in relation to them, and when they leave, everything is noticeably different.
I've changed my mind.
I want to be a zephyr. That slight breeze that you can barely feel, in fact, sometimes you don't notice it's there. But if you look for it, you will find it, and it will always be there. Gently cooling and heating, adding that little bit to your day.
I know I'll never be a zephyr. I think I was made to be a gust. But I'd like to be a zephyr, it would be nice to be a zephyr.

I knew before I told you. I knew before I told any of them. I knew before I told myself. I knew because when I closed my eyes, I saw it. I knew because that night changed my life. Actually, I knew because it didn't. And I didn't tell them about that either. Because I can't believe that I am really that person. But I knew. Oh yeah, I knew.

I am a very strong believer in the fact that everything in life can be explained by a happysad cartoon. Or a memoir. Or an episode of NCIS/Gilmore Girls. In fact, life can be explained relatively easily. I don't know why people tell me that life is complicated. People are complicated, life is simple. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes there's nothing you can do, sometimes you can't make your own choices, but it's always simple. If our drama play has taught me anything, it's that little decisions make a difference, and maybe that changes everything. But maybe we make bigger decision that are more important. And that's all that matters.

He calmed me down. That's amazing - crippled soul
I've used that memoir on here before, but I meant it in another way. I just want to bring your attention to the fact that HE CALMED ME DOWN. Because, for me, being calm is a very rare occurance, but he did it!
Usually, when I get that way, it takes about 24 hours for me to snap out of it, and be okay. Either that or a nervous breakdown. Neither are very nice. Obviously.
Instead, he took my 24 hours and made them perfect. I don't know how, and I don't know why, I just know that that's amazing. He's amazing.

And maybe everyone in the world who feels the need to give me their opinion has a point. BUT maybe I do actually know what I'm doing. In fact, maybe, I am actually capable of running my own life, and making my own decisions. Maybe I'm capable of judging character. And maybe, just maybe, I know when I'm happy.
Because I can tell you that I have not been so happy in a really long time. I mean, look at my life. Seriously, take a look. And be very very jealous. Because yes, I dare say, it is currently perfect. Sure, we freak out about assignments all being due, and only passing English by 4%, and not having time to do everything we want to. But this is perfection. I know who I am, and more than that, I love who I am. Finally.

Lost in translation.

I am currently listening to "Rubber Ducky" by Ernie from Sesame Street.
you see, my sister's computer DOES have some good music.
Wait... I think I gave this to her...
"Hey do you want me to scrub behind your ears?"
"squeek squeek squeek"
"Oh, I see, you don't have any ears, do you?" *gay laugh*

DAMN this song is good
anyways

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I am juust a liittle bit high at the moment.
"Whoa, high, very high"
"I've been higher"
"I meant distance from the ground"
"Yeah, that too"
Ok, I'm sorry, I just love that quote. From gilmore girls. Season 5. episode: You Jump, I Jump, Jack.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I'm dancing around my house singing rubber ducky((ernie)) and the easy way((westlife)) and far away((nickelback)), at the top of my lungs. I have developed my own little crazy walk/dance. I am slightly scared.
But I'm happy. And sure, that seems to be something I've been saying a lot lately. But in all honesty, I am happy. Sure, things get stuffed up. Perhaps more than they need to. But at the end of the day, I can smile, and say that I've achieved something. Even if it just a smile, or helping someone out (or kicking someone's arse in monopoly).

ANYWAYS!

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I get hurt a lot more easily than everyone else. Most of the time I realise I'm being an immature idiot, and I don't tell anyone that I'm hurt. But some people can tell. I won't tell them why. Like I said, I'm just being an immature idiot.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I worry a lot more easily than everyone else. But usually, there's someone there to tell me that I'm overreacting, and that everything's going to be okay. [Thankyou for being that person].

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I smile a lot more easily than everyone else. Often there's someont there to bring me back down to Earth. To get a little weirded out by highness {height?} which makes me realise that I'm too happy. Which makes me happier. Because I appreciate things that no one else ever will. ("Every smile is worth ten times more than every frown")

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I'm just a little bit sillier than everyone else. I still hold onto the fact that I've never sung into a hairbrush. But toothbrush? More than once. (I did not just admit that.) But, come on, being silly is what makes me so awesome =D. (Surprised!)

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I have to go to sleep now. Because I need my beauty sleep *nods*. And I'm sorry I haven't blogged much lately, I just feel like...

I can't share with the rest of the world how I'm feeling, because it always hurts me or them. Also, it's hard to translate emotions into words. Because I don't think in words, or even in thoughts most of the time. i think in emoticons (no, really :L) I see happy and sad faces, clocks, cats, dogs, anything except thoughts. It's all emotions and feelings and vibes. And... it loses something in translation.

N2S: sleep you idiot!
Ok, bye guys.

Wish you were here,

Sleep.

...Because what else is there to do at nights when you are bored and banned from MSN?

Nothing but blog.

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Hello, I'm Ebony, and I'm no longer addicted to NCIS. It has been about 6 months now since I discovered the genius that is Mark Harmon, but through my 12 step program (amongst other things) I am now over it.

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Word of the day: fall

What it means: 1. descend from higher position to lower position 2. come down suddenly from standing position 3. to become lower 4. to hang down 5. to be cast down 6. to succumb to temptaion 7. to lose high position 8. to succumb to attack 9. to drop down wounded or dead 10. to pass into some condition 11. to become 12. to come as if by dropping 13. to come by chance 14. to come to occur 15. to have proper place 16. to issue or proceed (in speech) 17. to be naturally divisible 18. to lose animation 19. to slope 20. to be directed 21. to fell 22. to separate 23. the act of falling 24.sinking, becoming less 25. cataract or waterall 26. downward slop 27. falling to ground 28. hanging down 29. lapse into sin 30. surrender or capture 31.a. in wrestling, being thrown on back b. bout 32. loosely hanging veil 33. lowering ships boat 34. Autumn 35. trees suitable for felling.

Why I care: It's one of the suggestions for labels (that's a bunch of bullshit. I also have other bullshit reasons including 1. because theres lots of defintions 2. because that's the page the dictionary fell open at and 3. there's 31 part a and b, and that is hilarious)(I don't know why I'm not writing the real reason, I think it's because I'm scared of the real reason)

Well that's further than any other dictionary definition has ever gone before.

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Hello, I'm Ebony, and I've done nothing but lie for the entire duration of this blog. But if you know me well enough (as only 2 of you do) you'll know my real reasons behind everything, and you'll understand the points I'm trying to get across.

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Better late than never…

one – just like the fireflies…

TWO – YEAH, YEAH I NOTICED, I THINK YOU DID TOO…

three – It really didn't help... but I appreciated it more than you will ever know

four - You have no idea how much I meant that

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And just because I'm retarded

Dear heart,

I would recommend pacing yourself - JustAFaceInThe Crowd

Oh, and if you guys don't get this post... you are totally not alone. I think the whole 'sleep' idea is a good one, 9:30 is not my smartest time...

People try to hand me money, they don't understand

I'm not broke, I'm just a broken-hearted man

Yeah, that's it. Sad that I used most of this to define a word...

Why do I bother?

Today is a Tuesday.

(I am so clever sometimes)

And there are many good thinga about Tuesdays:

1. It's not Monday. This may not seem like a big deal. It is. No IPT after school. No drama eating away half of my afternoon. No Monday-ness.

2. I get paid on Tuesdays. I am a big fan of getting paid. In fact, of all the fabulous things in the world, getting paid is high on the list. (Amy, no matter which job you take, I will still get paid more than you)

3. Ncis. Enough said. 8:30. Channel 10. Ok, NOW enough said.

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My sister being stupid: "Dude, you totally crumbled my cookie"
Answers herself: "That's the way the cookie crumbles"


Me: "Kiss me!"
Nikki: "Are you single?"

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Anyways, have an awesome Tuesday (dude, what a lame post)

Oh yeah, and check out Carl Barron on youtube.
I am not kidding.
This guy is hilarious.
My stomach is hurting.
And my cheeks are aching.
And I'm still watching!!
He;s Aussie!! And he shamelessly pokes fun at aussies.
It's fabulous. Go watch.

Choose a star

one - Roses are red
Violets are blue
Most poems rhyme
But this one doesn't
TWO - Rule #8: Never take anything for granted.
three - You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
four - Sometimes it's hard to say what you feel. Hard to ask someone for help, or tell them that you're hurting. Sometimes you feel vain for being proud of yourself, and sometimes you feel guilty for being happy.

My resolution is to blog every week. Not everyday. But I do.
And this blog has to be short, can you hear that? That is my TV calling me. The Nanny, Star Trek, NCIS. Oh the beauty of mindless entertainment.

MENTIONING SHAILIN
I know you told me that I didn't have to mention you
But you complained when I mentioned your friends and not you :L
You are one of my very faithful readers. Even if I blog before school, you'll come to school and say "I read your blog this morning".
And yet, YOURS is readers only. AND I'M NOT INVITED!
Thankyou for being my awesome 10M friend (yes, you too Corinne)
Thankyou for all your talks in Geography :L.
And sitting in the back row in ag. Good times =)
"Excess horn" "Anal retentive" "Lameness" "homoerectus"
Those are things that made you laugh, and then, me too.

Dear my group,
Today, I rerealised how awesome you are.
Haha, moments
Lisa: "Is it not Tan?"
Judy: "... no no no no..."
Lisa: "It's Tan!"

Allan: "Are you a slave?"
Lisa: "in your dreams"

Laughing in drama at stupid stuff Amy says. Again. Just because all our teachers are silly.

Reading Amy's blog. It made me skip all the way to school =)

Haha, Lisa dreams about Kolodziej!!! And not me =(


Anyways, thankyou to all of the fabulously awesome people in my life today.
You all rock my socks.
I will be back in the ad breaks ;)

So I shall leave you with this thought:
(It's not a song!!) (It's a poem :L)

When I die choose a star
and name it after me
that you may knowI have not abandoned
or forgotten you.
You were such a star to me,
following you through birth
and childhood, my handin your hand.

When I die
choose a star and name it
after me so that I may shine
down on you, until you join
me in darkness and silence
together.

Crash. That was you and me.

Because I am totally drowned in homework/assignments. (And I mean drowned, I've done 2 hours of homework today ALREADY) (And I NEVER do homework on Fridays, I leave it till the weekend), I am going to post EVEN WORSE than yesterday. And yes, it's anothre lame excuse I know. I am a bad blogger =(

"Imagine you are a sparrow. And you are sitting on the branch of a tree, looking out at the world. Would you worry why the sky was blue? Would you concern yourself with maths, or physics?"
"No, of course not."
"Why not?"
"Because it would be beyond the comprehension of my brain."
"So then, can you accept the fact that, as a man, there are things out there that are beyond the comprehension of your brain?"
"Well, if I couldn’t accept that, I would be a rather foolish man."

The immortal genius that is Star Trek =)

(Have I mentioned that I FINALLY have Sci Fi channel?)

Anyways.
Song? (remember, i'm a bad blogger) (at least im writing something, right?)


Crash.
That was you and me
Started out so innocently
Shattered on the ground
I hear the sound

Crash
Ringing in my ears
I still feel the sting of my tears
Someone wake me
I can’t seem to break free

go on
Get out of my head
I’m on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead
I’ve been stumblin' in the dark
Living in a crash world

Hush
Don’t say one more word
At this point the truth seems absurd
Cuz who we were
Is gone forever

Crushed
Underneath the fears
Everything’s so twisted and weird
Someone save me
I can’t seem to break free

Go on
Get out of my head
I’m on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead
I’ve been stumblin' in the dark
Living in a crash world
Crash world, yeah yeah

Slow motion
Devastation
Should’ve seen it coming
But I couldn’t do nothing

Emotion
Desperation
Someone save me
I can’t seem to break free

Go on
Get out of my head
I’m on the wrong side of a parallel universe
Am I alive or just dead
I’ve been stumblin' in the dark
Living in a crash world
crash world
crash world

This is what I do when I'm bored.

As awesome as today was (we all went to Lisa's), I'm not gonna tell you about it. You know why? Cuz that's not my thing.
You're reading my blog. Which means you've enjoyed it in the past (hopefully), which means you don't want to hear a play-by-play on everything we did today.
In six words: chocolate cake, whipped cream, cheese smells.
There you go. Now go read someone else's blog about today.

Of course, if I'm not gonna tell you about my day, I have to write something, right? Well, I should, beause I love you. And... well... it's a good habit.

So I am going to write about movies (oh yes, tres boring. deal. i know you'll read it anyway)

Ahem.
I present:

Ebony's top movies of all time (that she could think of in half an hour).

1. loveactually - i think i had a whole blog post on la once... around about camp time? anyways, that's how cool it is :)
2. music & lyrics - not only is it hilarious and stupid, it is deep and meaningful and full of music. all five are wins!
3. The Holiday - hmm, i think i also like this one because it doesnt end perfectly (i really am becoming cycnical lately)
4. All Star Wars movies - peoples, allow my inner scifi geek to have at least a little representation on this list. (EBONY LOVES STAR WARS!!!!)
5. Instant Message - pen pals for life, lovers for eternity.... such a cute movie, and very christmassy
6. Legally blonde - as little respect as I have for blondes, I love the idea that the underdog wins :)
7. 10 Things I Hate About You - R.I.P. Heathie! Great movie.
8. Stardust - Even the name is magical, don't you think?
9. A Walk To Remember - I've never cried as much as I did during this movie, it is incredible
10. 27 Dresses - Very unchicky chick flick, well I think so. Regardless, loved it!
11. Ocena's eleven (remake) - What is better than Brad Pitt? Brad Pitt and George Clooney! And better than Brad Pitt and George Clooney? Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Las Vegas casinos!!
12. Transformers - Don't know how this got so high on my list, but it has incredible special effects, and some awesome one liners, that might have something to do with it.
13. Casino Royale - If you can't appreciate the hotness of James Bond, watch it for the awesomeness of poker.
14. Ocean's Eleven (original) - not of the same calibre as the remake, but still awesome. Stars the Rat Pack!!
15. Australia - now imagine how much higher I would have ranked it if it didn't include Nicole Kidman!! (or overdone Aussie accents)
16. Parent Trap (remake) - good movie from when I was younger. As well as LiLo before she turned to the dark side
17. Mission Impossible movies - two words: Tom Cruise.
18. Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid - if you can't appreciate a good western, watch it for the soundtrack and beautifully orchestrated humour
19. Just like heaven - Makes me smile. So it makes it to my list :)
20. Phenomenon - John Tavolta. Really, is there any other reason?
21. The Notebook - Because tear jerker chick flicks should be on my list :). (Even thought THEY DIE!!!)
22. Lucky You - Another Drew Barrymore film. It is tres awesome. (POKER peoples, poker!)
23. Legally blondde 2 - Animal rights focused. Makes you feel like you can make a difference, I like that.
24. Next - Sure, it's got Nicholas Cage, but that doesn't stop it kicking ass, does it?

That is my list of 24. Even though there are probably some better ones, that didn't immediately spring to mind, and they're probably in a jumbled up order.

Oh, and if there are any movie on my list that you haven't seen (my goodness, where have you been??) then you should IMMEDIATELY rent/download/borrow them and watch them!!

Do it now.

Go.

This week at school(although i didnt really turn up), this week

been a weird week, my group had a bit of an epiphany, well, those with blogs did =)
first week back to school, everyone was weird and miserable
i got really sick from food poisoning which sorta sucked, but i got a day oiff school

HIGHLIGHTS

1. sister got her LLLLs! Yayyy
2. watched NCIS s4 e2
3. mums bday – going out with all friends
4. choir excursion
5. Monday off school to bludge, still did hw tho

LOWLIGHTS

1. food poisoning – really, really sick, kept throwing up - TOO sick to watch TV!!!
2. missing too much school – thus getting much hw
3. didn’t hand in history poster, gonna get penalty

all in all, the week wasnt that bad...couldnt lived without the throwing up though...

This week at home, this week

HIGHLIGHTS!

1. Went bowling, got 53 & 45 - i blame judy syndrome
2. Went to see Get Smart at movies
3. Watched end of s2 and start of s3 of DAWSONS CREEK
4. Finally saw first ep of s4 NCIS - Shalom
5. Realised my mummies bday is coming up, went looking for present.
6. Osmonds bday
7. May-Lyn + Justin = 1 month
8. Got DVD recorder =) $200, not too bad
9. My SISTER booked her DKT!
10. Watched a bunch of TV/movies
11. Cleaned my rrom :O
12. Listened to HEAPS of music =DD

It was a pretty cool week...didn't spent much time online, did a lot of sitty around being a bum, which was pretty cool. Kept waking up early. Watched a doco for English study!


ok, i should...do stuff... i dunno...end the blog

is is leaving now!

ps: 13. Elmo was on Rove