Stalkers are underrated.

Dear secret smithteens stalker,
COOL!! YOU FOUND ME!!
GMH was introduced to me by Anna, in one of hermemoirs under Tic2daTac. Read through and you will find it!
Also, thankyou for stalking me.
Anyways, this doesn't really count as a blog, but I just wanted to say hi to my stalker. Hi!

Can't sing it without you

one - it's funny how stuff like that happens, isn't it? i hate the imbalance...
TWO - I DON'T BELIEVE FOR A SECOND THAT IT WAS COINCEDENCE. IF ONLY YOU HAD BEEN HERE...
three - maybe it's just a little bit too much for right now.
four - you don't know what you're doing, do you?

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I have been awake since 6:30. Why, you ask? I HAVE NO BLOODY IDEA! Although, Prad pulled an all nighter. So I'm not going to be totally ungrateful. (OK, so I am...)

Yesterday, I went shopping with my Mummy. We bonded <33!! I bought clothes =S But I DO need clothes, so I guess it was okay. I also bought some dragons socks!! =D (I am NOT a football fan). And I agreed to let her curl my hair for the social =S. But she was begging :L. Anyways, peoples, GO TO THE SOCIAL!!! Yes, I'm looking at you *stares*.

And I have totally been blogging heaps lately =D. I mean, comparitively. OK, so I've been slacking off for a little while... but but, I'm on MSN nowadays! And it's not like you guys wanna talk to me anyway. I was online for TWO AND A HALF HOURS yesterday before someone talked to me other than about the stupid English assignment. Which I have finished =D. Execpt my justification is 11 words over =S (shhhhh)

And and drama! We have a few minor (HUGE!) issues. Especially since we're supposed to know it by Tuesday... *cough*. But but my journal totally has 5 pages ALREADY. So you SLACKOS start writing!!

Hum. Ooooh, I ripped my very very favouritest seventies CD to my computer yesterday =DDDD (okay, so my sister did it for me. :)) and it is soooo good!! And it has My Little Angel on it!!! And I Don't Like Mondays. And American Pie. And Hooked On A Feeling. And those are the only songs you guys will know. And today I shall introduce you guys to ANOTHER classic seventies song which no one bloody knows. Have we all heard of John Paul Young?? (pretend!) Yay! Here is my favourite song by him! I Hate The Music. (youtube link! watch it watch it!!!)

I hate the music - the people say I sing my song so well
I just can't sing it without you, ooh-ooh-hooh
I hate the music - 'cause every time I hear that melody
It just reminds me of the - way we lived together
The way we used to be, the day that life was better
Back in the days you were with me-ee

Now on the day that I met you, the day you happened alo-ong
Remember me up there on stage, singin' it wrong
I saw you lookin' toward me, and right away I could tell
Made up my mind to go all out, and started singin' it we-ell
You could tell

I hate the music - the people say I sing my song in tune
I just can't sing it without you, ooh-ooh-hooh
I hate the music - 'cause everytime I hear that meldot
It just reminds of the - way we lived together
The way we used to be, the day when life was better
Back in the days you were with me-ee

Now music brought us together, and music tore us apart
And day and night the song goes on, breakin' my heart
Ooh, On the radio in the mornin' and on the TV ev'ry night
I tell you girl it's so damned hard
To get to sleep at ni-ight - Every night

I hate the music, I hate the music...

I hate the music - the people say I sing my songs okay
(Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey - yeah)
I just can't sing it without you, ooh you know that it's true-ue
I hate the music - 'cause every time I hear that same old tune, can't sing it
I just can't sing it without you, ooh you know that it's true-ue

I hate the music - and everytime I hear that melody, yeah
(Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey - yeah)
I just can't sing it without you, oh you know that it's true-ue
I hate the music Hey-hey-hey
I hate the music Hey-hey-hey
I hate the music Hey-hey-hey
I hate the music Hey-hey
I hate the music Hey-hey

Gives Me Hope

one - you don't realise that that's where i was too. and it's stronger than you think
TWO - JUST BECAUSE WE CAN DEAL WITH IT DOESN'T MEAN IT WAS EVER OKAY.
three - i'm trying for you, you know? i did try for you. it was all for you.
four - people think i'm silly when i tell them. maybe i am silly. but it's the right thing for me.

Do we all remember Back In The Day when I used to blog all the time? Like, everyday. Multiple times. Very very long. Don't we all miss that day?

Anyways. Today, I am introducing you to ANOTHER website. Oh goodie, another brilliant waste of time! Actually, this one is so so awesome. We all know FML, right? Sure, we all read, we all laugh, we're all glad our lives aren't that screwed up.

But there is a BETTER website. Because, well, to be perfectly honest, it gives me hope. The website is givesmehope.com and at the moment, it's still relatively short. What with only 5 pages. But it is soo inspirational. GMH. =)

...Ok, well, I have maths homework to do. And that stupid English assigment. That I think I'm doing wrong. Point being: I'm procrastinating. So I'll blog again later. Ciao!

Wish you were here =)

Lost in translation.

I am currently listening to "Rubber Ducky" by Ernie from Sesame Street.
you see, my sister's computer DOES have some good music.
Wait... I think I gave this to her...
"Hey do you want me to scrub behind your ears?"
"squeek squeek squeek"
"Oh, I see, you don't have any ears, do you?" *gay laugh*

DAMN this song is good
anyways

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I am juust a liittle bit high at the moment.
"Whoa, high, very high"
"I've been higher"
"I meant distance from the ground"
"Yeah, that too"
Ok, I'm sorry, I just love that quote. From gilmore girls. Season 5. episode: You Jump, I Jump, Jack.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I'm dancing around my house singing rubber ducky((ernie)) and the easy way((westlife)) and far away((nickelback)), at the top of my lungs. I have developed my own little crazy walk/dance. I am slightly scared.
But I'm happy. And sure, that seems to be something I've been saying a lot lately. But in all honesty, I am happy. Sure, things get stuffed up. Perhaps more than they need to. But at the end of the day, I can smile, and say that I've achieved something. Even if it just a smile, or helping someone out (or kicking someone's arse in monopoly).

ANYWAYS!

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I get hurt a lot more easily than everyone else. Most of the time I realise I'm being an immature idiot, and I don't tell anyone that I'm hurt. But some people can tell. I won't tell them why. Like I said, I'm just being an immature idiot.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I worry a lot more easily than everyone else. But usually, there's someone there to tell me that I'm overreacting, and that everything's going to be okay. [Thankyou for being that person].

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I smile a lot more easily than everyone else. Often there's someont there to bring me back down to Earth. To get a little weirded out by highness {height?} which makes me realise that I'm too happy. Which makes me happier. Because I appreciate things that no one else ever will. ("Every smile is worth ten times more than every frown")

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I'm just a little bit sillier than everyone else. I still hold onto the fact that I've never sung into a hairbrush. But toothbrush? More than once. (I did not just admit that.) But, come on, being silly is what makes me so awesome =D. (Surprised!)

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I have to go to sleep now. Because I need my beauty sleep *nods*. And I'm sorry I haven't blogged much lately, I just feel like...

I can't share with the rest of the world how I'm feeling, because it always hurts me or them. Also, it's hard to translate emotions into words. Because I don't think in words, or even in thoughts most of the time. i think in emoticons (no, really :L) I see happy and sad faces, clocks, cats, dogs, anything except thoughts. It's all emotions and feelings and vibes. And... it loses something in translation.

N2S: sleep you idiot!
Ok, bye guys.

Wish you were here,

Happy. Sad.

Hello, and welcome to my blog entirely dedicated to happysad.
Yes, those are the awesomeful cute cartoons xD. To see the index of cartoons, click here.
Yay for happysad!!

Maybe it's hard to hear something you need to hear. And maybe, it's harder to hear it from the person you need to hear it from. But how else can you know? How else can you learn? And sometimes, it is something that you really do need to hear. Something that can change everything. And no one will tell you, because no on wants to hurt you. But that's what hurts you the most.

I don't really feel the need to lecture you. Sure, you could use it, but not from me. Why? Because I don't really know you all that well. In fact, lecturing you would be rather hypocritical of me, because I think and feel the same way that you do. In fact, I agree with you. And rather than fix everything for you, I'd just like to be there while you sit it out. I don't want to change you, I just want to be there for you.

You know when it's been raining all day, and the sky has been grey. Everywhere you look are clouds, and dull, dreary, grey skies. And then the sun peeps out a little. And suddenly, everything lights up. The sky turns a pretty blue, the grass look greener. The world just shines a little. And you have this feeling that everything is going to be okay, everything will work out. And everything is beautiful. That's the feeling I get around you, you're my peep of sunshine.

I just need a hug. I just need you to come up and hold my hand, and tell me that everything is going to be okay. Because I'll believe you. I really will. And I need to know that everything's going to be okay. People are hurting me, and they don't realise it, and it's making things worse, and I need you to tell me that it's going to be fine. I need you to tell me that you're there. And I need you to tell me that you'll never leave. Not like everyone else. I need you to never leave.

How can no one accept things?! How can you not accept things? You who is always "open minded", you who can accept new things. Why do you always need to change everything. Leave it alone! Maybe, everything is how it is for a reason. Maybe, everything needs to just happen, and you need to just let it. It's not going to change by uou willing it. Leave. it. alone. It gives you such hope, wishing things were different. Simpler, easier, better. Maybe they never will be. Maybe this is as good as it gets! Stop wishing to change the world, when all you need to change is yourself.

And everyone tells me to slow down. But maybe I don't wanna slow down. Maybe I like doing things fast. Maybe, I just need someone to catch up, and run with me. Because walking isn't very fun. Not that running is fun. It's just... maybe I have somewhere to go. So whilst you all walk around aimlessly, I'm ready to run home.

I guess, that's all I have to say. Plus, I've run out of cartoons. Or at least run out of favourites. You know, this blog has been a week in the making. That stuff between cartoons, I've been writing it all week. And the cartoons, I've been browsing and choosing my favourites all week, and after all that effort, it's not even that good, and it's not even getting across the point... but it's very me. So I'll leave it.

Anchor.

I have no idea why I'm writing this... enjoy!

I realise now that everything I did for you, everything I tried to make right for you, everyway I changed your life, that's what brought me you. By wanting you to be as happy as possible, by changing things, and making things happ that would make you smile, that's what enabled you to be happy with me. That's why I deserve you. Because, even before I realised it, I loved you. I loved you enough to make a difference in your life. You still don't know that I did it all for you

Sometimes the words you want to say, just don't fit. And no matter what you say, and how you twist the situation, it doesn't fit. It can't fit. It can't change everything. Everything has to stay how it is. Because if you change the situation to fit the words, the words don't mean as much anymore. Nothing means as much anymore. And it's not worth it. The beautiful words don't count anymore. They'll never have their chance.

Just staring at the blank pages. Not knowing how to fill them. Or even if you can fill them. Are there enough thoughts in your head to fill it? Are there thoughts that wil do the paper justice? Are there thoughts that should be written down? Or just thoughts that should spin in dizzy little circles around your mind. Until it's so overcome with confusion and beauty that nothing even makes sense anymore.

I know how hard it is for you to understand things like this. So I'll make it simple. You don't have to be anyone other than you. You don't have to keep things from me because you don't think I'll understand. You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. You're you. "Today you are you, that's truer than true. There'll never be anyone youer than you." Yes, listen to Dr. Seuss. He is genius.

Because I am scared. It scares me more than anything. It's the one fear that I would have thought people would recognise by now. But they don't. They still look in shock as I say it. They expect me to be someone different. They expect me to be someone stronger. Sorry guys, this is me. And I'm terrified.

I thought I would lose this. I knew I was making sacrifices, no matter how worth it they were. But I didn't lose it. Because I was willing to, I got to keep it. I am a believer in perfect balance, and things aren't balancing. But they're perfect.

You're an ordinary miracle.

Quote: "If I had a star for everytime you made me feel amazing, I still wouldn't hold a sky as beautiful as you" That might not be word perfect.
Memoir: "Looked both ways. Never looked back" - Small. Still on a search
Song in head: Ordinary Miracle - Sarah McLachlan
Listening to: Free Fall - In Flames
Thinking about: I dunno, writing this, I guess.
Annoyed by: How cold it is. But how too lazy I am to get up.
Cheered by: My day. It has been a good day.
Mood: Happy.

Hello!
I'm Ebony!

(Nikki: "Hi Ebony"
Dad: "Ebony's high)

And I'm going to tell you a little bit about the colour green.
Ok, no, I'm not, but now that song is in my head. Oh goodie. And I know the whole thing off by heart. How sad is that. I know a sesame street song of by heart. Seriously.

You know, I remember the randomest things. i.e. I can quote movies that I've only seen once. Like the first time I saw 10 Things I Hate About You. I started quoting it the next day. My Dad's like "have you seen that movie before?" and when I said no, he gave me the strangest look. It's not my fault! It's just my memory.

Ok, I really don't have anything to say. Again.
I know, I know, it's getting old. Me having nothing to talk about.
But I don't.
How are you today?
How was your day?
Did anything important happen?
Rate your happiness 0-10.
What's your favourite colour?


There we go, comment, and we'll have something to talk about next time.
Until then!

You're falling...

Good lord people.
SIGN IN DAMMIT!!
I only know who three of my anonymous commenters are. Who are you #1?


Anon # 1. Eating is awesome. Keep on eating. And doing nothing. That kicks arse too.

Victor. No that pretty much says it all.

AB. It's not an addiction that you have to typos. It is a PROBLEM.

Rosa. 7:51 am is perfectly normal. And figure it out. I wanna know.

Anon #2. I'm glad that I stopped fighting. And you hate too many songs.

May Lyn. Westlife did that with Delta. It was awesome.

May Lyn again. I like garlic bread. <33

Anon #3. Never ever ever give up. Love will find you when you stop looking for it.

Anon #4. The last comment wasn't from who you think. Or about what you think.

Anon #5. I know how hard that it. But you'll find someone who you can be you with, and you're both happier for it. Never stop fighting.

-----

Yes, I needed an entire blog to reply to comments.
THAT's how much you guys love me.
Uhhh... yeah (?)

Anyways, how are we all doing?
Bloody weekends.
But today is okay, for a weekend.
I bought some sniffees =) (markers, you fools.) at officeworks today. yay for discount!! (also works at liquorland and vintage cellars)
i also had subway (<33) (with a cookie!) and a krispy kreme doughnut. (=))
it has been good for a saturday.

How has everyone gone in exams? (I think I'm the only blogger that hasn't mentioned it yet. so that's what that was). Yay for suckage!! (I know you sucked. We all sucked.) Did you get that he was imagining in English exam? Well done! I didn't! Grrr.

Anyways! Enjoy your weekend people. And I shall see you all on Monday, ready for our fabulous ag exam.

-----

Don't say what you're about to say.
Believe me, you are my fate.
And I believe you'll find a way,
or will you keep on falling until you reach the ground?
Of your lonely mind will you ever find yourself again?
And will you keep on dying until you've finally found
a better place where you find you will not wake up again?

Cause what you see is crystal wall,
what you breath is silver air,
but weigh this moment with a future of your dreams no longer there.
What you'll see is burning black,
and what'll you breathe is empty air,
so way this moment with a future of your dreams no longer there...

You're falling... yeah,
You're falling... yeah,
So take my hand, and come on let's fly.

There's always someone laughing,
from the corner of their cage,
but to fly amongst the mountains you must dance within the waves.
Or will you keep on falling until you reach the ground?
Of your lonely mind will you ever find yourself again?
And will you keep on dying until you've finally found a better
place where you find you will not wake up again?

Cause what you see is crystal wall,
what you breath is silver air,
but weigh this moment with a future of your dreams no longer there.
What you'll see is burning black,
and what you'll breathe is empty air,
so way this moment with a future of your dreams no longer there...

You're falling... yeah,
You're falling... yeah,
So take my hand, and come on let's fly.

My name is Ebony.

Today, I am blogging.

Because even though I have nothing to say...

Ok, I didn't think of an ending for that sentence when I started it.

one - i heard the raindrops. but you don't have to tell me anything.

TWO - THANKYOU FOR UNDERSTANDING. I'M TRYING. I PROMISE.

three - i'm sorry if you don't get me. but i'm not going to justify myself to you. this is me now. take it or leave it.

four - i thought it would hurt more than this.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and welcome to Ebony's anonymous. Feel free to comment with any of your addictions (food, TV shows, people), because acceptance is the first step to overcoming an addiction. I know you all have one. That's right. You're all feeling guilty right now.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I'm learning to juggle happy. Happy is very hard to juggle, especially when there's so much of it, and it's so different. But it's still possible to juggle. If you have skills. I, clearly, have epic skills.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I am listening to air supply on loop. "And I can't fight this feeling anymore. I've forgotten what I started fighting for". There is really something to be said for Air Supply. And I know how pathetic I sound, thankyou very much. But it is TRUE.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and this is a little part of my life. This blog I mean. It used to be my whole life. It's not anymore. It's just a part. I like it like that. It's the perfect balance. It's not even a good blog. It's just so me.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I am addicted to westlife music. I know I haven't mentioned the awesomosity of westlife in a while. But I'm listening to an air supply song that westlife covered, and I miss them. I may have to listen to more westlife...

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I am a keeper of secrets. I'm a good one too. I just can't keep my own secrets. But everyone else's secrets stay locked up inside of me. Some people hate keeping secrets, it's such a burden or you always have to watch what you say. But I'm more comfortable around people whose secrets I know.

OK, I have more to say, because, well I'm a nutcase with an endless supply of words. But this will do for tonight. Considering I've been doing this off and on for hours.

Cardboard Love <33

I know you guys don't know all that much about the amazingly fabulous websites that are out there, so I am going to edjumicate you all a little.
Ladies and gentlemen, today, I am going to introduce you to a beautifulicious website called "Carboard Love in a Digital World".
It is the most adoooorable thing in the world. And I think you should all get to see it =)

Feel free to ignore Ebony's commentary every second picture.

Not that Air Supply isn't awesome in their own little way... just that their greatest hits on repeat is a little... pathetic?

Sometimes it is a very visible fire too, and sometimes everyone notices that I'm on fire. But it's ok. Fire has its own special qualities...

And I am a pain in the ass a great amount of the time, and sometimes I can tell I'm being a pain in the ass, and I keep on being one, but you put up with it, and you're there for me, always. I guess "thank you" doesn't really sum it up properly, but I don't know what else I could say.

You don't really know how damaged i was. no one knows how damaged i was. and part of me knows i will never be damaged again. its like you came along and put all the pieces of me together in such a beautiful way, and now i can be happy again.

like, really really glad. you have no idea how much you changed my life. i think the 65 words pretty well summed it up though :L

And it's pretty cheap cardboard. I mean, it's online. Like. Seriously. But the intent is most certainly sincere, and that's all that matters.

Because you're right. It didn't mean as much, so maybe I shouldn't have asked you. But I did mean it. I meant it more than you will ever know. And I'm trying.

You know why? Because everything IS okay. Everything is perfectly wonderfully okay.

No really, I do. As of yet, I'm not dreaming and it still hurts. I think I'd prefer for the pinch to hurt and everyhting to be real though :L

You'd probably say "magic", and you're probably right, because you are very magical. But you still always know what to say. (Yes, i wrote sitll)

That doesn't require a great deal of commentary.

"Wish you were here" has been my thing for a while now.

But me being there would do fine...

-----

And that concludes Ebony's insanity for this blog. Come again later, and we shall do it again.

Favourites.

My second memoir account, Just another girl, is finally over.
(Yup, that's how cool I am)
(Or I just think too much :L)

ANYWAYS, in celebration (beause it's a big deal to me), I am going to share with you my VERY FAVOURITE memoirs =D (there's a lot. bear with it. or skip to the end.)

---

Was a star. Fell. For you.

.

It's okay, the voices talk back.
.

I'll breathe every breath for you.
.

Wish on stars that look happy
.

Tripped, fell over, got up again.
.

Living life as a hopeless romantic.
.

Planted hope. Forgot to water it.
.

I'm lonely. Nothing severe; just lonely.
.

We're just the dreamers of tomorrow.
.

This memoir will bring you luck.
.

Even the best fall down sometimes.
.

Hopeless romantic fell in love... again.
.

Wanna sell my life on ebay.
.

Maybe it shouldn't be about him...
.

All in favour of murdering Monday?
.

My life is on repeat. Again.
.

Second best isn't so bad afterall.
.

I am glass. Fragile, neglected, breaking.
.

I'm fading out. No one's noticing.
.

His smile puts stars to shame.
.

I get lost in the crowd.
.

I'm a dreamer because of him.
.

Just another girl on a journey.
.

They see ugly. I see beauty.
.

Every single word it's own lullaby.
.

Constantly questioning myself, never finding answers.
.

Wrote his name in chocolate topping.
.

The phone's never been for me.
.

Dad doesn't wish me goodnight anymore.
.

Getting in deeper all the time.
.

I was overdue for a breakdown.
.

I've never seen you without wings.
.

Stumbled upon crosswords. chose dead end.
.

Got into an arguement with fate.
.

Love life, on a good day.
.

I can feel myself falling again.
.

Somehow, I'll forever be a dreamer.
.

I think it's sort of beautiful.
.

I'm hiding behind this loquacious disguise.
.

More broken than their eyes see.
.

Walk towards the edge and jump.
.

Hold my hand and just run.
.

Everything hurts. But hurts so nice.
.

I should be grateful. I'm not.
.

You smile. I cry. You laugh.
.

You patch my holes by smiling.
.

Writing it down. Letting it go.
.

Acting like nothing happened; fooling nobody.
.

Time runs out; but words prevail.
.

Wished for him. Again. Still waiting.
.

Fake smile to hide the pain.
.

No on wants my hugs anymore.
.

I am stronger than you think.
.

Lost teddy. Now I hug air.
.

"Theres nothing wrong with you." Thankyou
.

Those stars shine just like you.
.

Sold my soul to the moon.
.

Salty raindrops falling down my face.
.

Each star, another wish for him.
.

Putting a pricetag on my soul.
.

If I smile, I won't bleed.
.

Only an echo of old emotions.
.

Watching the clock tick to 11:11.
.

You jump, I jump, got it?
.

Love telling secrets. Nobody like listening.
.

Up all night, rewriting my life.
.

The bridge between cooties and kisses.
.

Please be stars and not aeroplanes.
.

Clouds block stars. No wishes tonight.
.

If you get lost, find me.
.

Today's horoscope: "Rethink something quite important."
.

Saying plans aloud. Hearing God laugh.
.

This hell that some call "home"
.

Maybe you're bored. I'm nothing special.
.

I'm the girl you forgot about.
.

Something is missing. Maybe it's me.
.

Put your umbrella away and dance.
.

I'd wait forever just for you.
.

Life brings frown. He returns smile.
.

Still finding out who I am.
.

I see beyond a pretty face.
.

My life's crossroads has traffic lights.
.

We over analysed each other together.
.

Despite best efforts, still had fun.
.

hopeless romantic searching for naive perfection.
.

Genuine smiles in an artificial world.
.

Rain falling from sky and eyes.
.

Would the world jump for me?
.

Maybe I'm beautiful on the inside.
.

Maybe I just really... need him?
.

Suddenly my mind is episdn umop.
.

Subtle was never my strong point.
.

Square one is getting awfully familiar.
.

Tears became longing. Longing became heartache.
.

All I know is you're beautiful.
.

Smile at me. I'll smile back.
.

Look at all the pretty people...
.

August 12 2007. Somewhere around 7.
.

Each tear. More beautiful than before.
.

you didn't love me
I finally did.
.

I couldn't; but I died trying.
.

How can someone be so empty?
.

I believe in better than reality.
.

My superhero with a rusty cape.
.

Notice: This soul is under construction.
.

With broken hearts and shattered dreams.
.

I believe in impossibilities and miracles.
.

Just another girl hiding from life.
.

Self destruciton is not an option.
.

I'm learning to believe in myself.
.

24 hours: successfully destroyed every friendship.
.

The girl who finds life beautiful.
.

Dear destiny,
I surrender. You win.
.

I don't even like myself anymore.
.

We exchanged secrets and song lyrics.
.

Running far enough to be missed.
.

I smiled, and was finally beautiful.
.

11:05... I'll stay awake to wish.
.

Flying away on their whispered words.
.

I miss the girl I was.
.

I talk to God a lot.
.

You're my angel with broken wings.
.

I cried.
I cry a lot...
.

I'm drowning, but still ever silent.
.

Finding my place, my voice, myself.
.

I'm an artist without the art.
.

One persn can't make a difference...
.

I believe that you are amazing.
.

With crumpled secrets in my pockets...
.

Like everytime a rain drop falls...
.

Things no one seems to notice.
.

Failing to conserve even small secrets.
.

There are voices in my head.
.

Words change. Nothing else ever does.
.

Dream catcher. Dream maker. Dream believer.
.

I need hot chocolate and cookies.
.

What if the shoe doesn't fit?
.

The pain is not worth it.
.

My hand has holes for yours.
.

Deteriorating differenced between right and wrong.
.

Now my feet are all cold.
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Living for him.
He's living for me.
.

I want to be a sunflower.
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One day, I'll sparkkle for you.
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Both in love with other people.
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Don't make me look away again.
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It hurts to say "just friends"
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Exchanging secret whispers and silly smiles.
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And then my heart went crazy...
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Right there in front of me...
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Every smile sparkles like diamond nights.
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Forgot to sleep. Remembered to dream.
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I wonder what you keep hidden...
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Dear smile,
It's been a while.
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Everything comes down to this moment.
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I hurt you to save myself.

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ANND!!! (I'm putting this here cuz I want it all here. I only found it yesterday.)

OK, this is a part of my book that I wrote back in January on my holiday, loosely based around two people. This is Elle and Luke's meet cute. The first person it's based around was someone I almost met in QLD :L, the second person is the one who gave Luke his mystery. Enjoy part one:

I was just walking through the class room as a shortcut, I didn't expect to see anyone in there. But as I walked in, I saw someone sitting on a chair in the corner, spinning around. He didn't seem to have a problem with me being there, so I kept moving, but I watched him. Each time he got to my direction he would lock eyes with me, until his face was out of view; constantly spinning, repeating the cycle each time. I can't say I noticed much of what he looked like.. just that he seemed sad, and a little surprised. But people didn't normally cut through classrooms, so that was to be expected. I didn't really think anything of it.

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Part two:

Weird that someone I had never seen before that day was suddenly everywhere I went. I guess it's that way with everything. Once you start looking for it, you find it. I don't think I was exactly looking for him, but I found him alright. The second time was in the office. I was walking through to get out of school, and he was hanging around looking at pictures on the wall. As I walked in, he looked up boredly, but then changed to… happy? It wasn't a startled change of expression either, just a gradual one, but there was definitely a change. We locked eyes again, for as long as his position would allow, before he refocused his attention on the pictures.

…

The third time I say him was at sport. We were just minding our business playing a game of hockey when a basketball intruded on our game. Everyone looked up just in time to see him run in to grab it. He picked up the ball, looked at me, then walked back to his game with an apologetic nod to our teacher. I'd never before noticed how quiet he was. That even in his apology he didn't utter a single word.

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Part three: (Good things take time)

"You're quiet." I said to him. He looked up, but he didn't seem surprised, he just nodded. "Why?" I prompted.

"Nothin' to say" he said, and looked down again. I sat down next to him.

"But you must have thoughts, right?" he nodded again, "Why don't you voice them?"

"People don't wanna hear" he said, still not looking at me.

"Doesn't stop me" I laughed

He smiled and looed at me "Yeah, I noticed"

"Noticed? When?" It's not like I'd been very chatty when I saw him

"I've noticed you" he blushed and looked down again.

"In a creepy way?" I made a move to leave.

"No" he looked up to check that I was staying "It's just… you intrigue me" I looked at him questioningly "I admire your confidence" he clarified.

"As in my voicing my opinion no matter whether people want to hear it? That's not confidence, that's arrogance" I smiled

"Yeah" he looked reminiscent "Still wish I had it"

I moved my head around to look at him "If you ever need to voice your opinion, come find me, okay?"

He nodded "I will"

"Good" I stood up, and started to walk, then hesitated

"Luke" he said. I looked down to see him smiling at my confused look. "My name is Luke Moore." He clarified

"Elle" I said "How did you…?"

He simply shrugged, still smiling.

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Was it worth the three parts?

It so was!!

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Ok, well, that's all I really wanted to say today.

Smile! =D