Anchor.

I have no idea why I'm writing this... enjoy!

I realise now that everything I did for you, everything I tried to make right for you, everyway I changed your life, that's what brought me you. By wanting you to be as happy as possible, by changing things, and making things happ that would make you smile, that's what enabled you to be happy with me. That's why I deserve you. Because, even before I realised it, I loved you. I loved you enough to make a difference in your life. You still don't know that I did it all for you

Sometimes the words you want to say, just don't fit. And no matter what you say, and how you twist the situation, it doesn't fit. It can't fit. It can't change everything. Everything has to stay how it is. Because if you change the situation to fit the words, the words don't mean as much anymore. Nothing means as much anymore. And it's not worth it. The beautiful words don't count anymore. They'll never have their chance.

Just staring at the blank pages. Not knowing how to fill them. Or even if you can fill them. Are there enough thoughts in your head to fill it? Are there thoughts that wil do the paper justice? Are there thoughts that should be written down? Or just thoughts that should spin in dizzy little circles around your mind. Until it's so overcome with confusion and beauty that nothing even makes sense anymore.

I know how hard it is for you to understand things like this. So I'll make it simple. You don't have to be anyone other than you. You don't have to keep things from me because you don't think I'll understand. You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. You're you. "Today you are you, that's truer than true. There'll never be anyone youer than you." Yes, listen to Dr. Seuss. He is genius.

Because I am scared. It scares me more than anything. It's the one fear that I would have thought people would recognise by now. But they don't. They still look in shock as I say it. They expect me to be someone different. They expect me to be someone stronger. Sorry guys, this is me. And I'm terrified.

I thought I would lose this. I knew I was making sacrifices, no matter how worth it they were. But I didn't lose it. Because I was willing to, I got to keep it. I am a believer in perfect balance, and things aren't balancing. But they're perfect.