OMG! AMY'S BACK!

Confession #55: However immature, and worthless it was; it existed. And I can't just forget that.

"I feel like shit. But at least I feel something"

"I over analyze. Therefore, I am." – small.still on a search

All you need is love.
And blogs.
And as I have been offline (=O) for a few weeks, I have had a few blogs to catch up on.
And I thought I'd share the beauty of some of them with you.

STORM by "Happiness isn't lost...... just misplaced"
( Teaser: "Love is what a rainbow sounds like, when it refuses to fear the storm.") (This blog is beautiful guys you HAVE to go read!!)

THE PLACE WHERE YOU GET OFF by "I Wrote This For You"
(Teaser: "You think she's insane. Until, one day, you notice that she's taking pictures of the license plates of the cars her child gets into.")

SLEEP by Happiness isn't lost...... just misplaced"
(Teaser: " You say you're "tired of it all." Yet, you drag yourself through life like a zombie...repeating the same dance, day after day.") (Ah, but at the end of the day, there are parts of the dance that make it worth it, aren't there?)

I'LL WATCH THE SUNRISE WITH YOU by "Confessions of a Candyhol!c"
(Teaser: "Piglet: "How do you spell love? Pooh: "You don't spell it, you feel it."")

ON BSG, MICHAEL BOLTON & A LITTLE TEAM CALLED THE COLTS by "It's like I'm... mmmagic!"
(Teaser: "I took this week off from blogging. I’m pretty sure the responsible thing to do is to let people know you are taking time off, rather than drop off the blogging universe") (Sound like me, anyone?)

TELL ME I'M NORMAL by "It's like I'm... mmmagic!"
(Teaser: "When I go to Starbucks, I become irrationally worried that I’m going to forget my order. I will spend the entire time stuck in the drive thru saying my order on repeat. But attempting to say it casually as well, so I don’t come off as a robot.") (Yes, Brandy, you're totally normal!)

Her man is one I admire
He's so courageous but he's constantly tired
Each time when he speaks his mind
She pats his head and says, "That's all very fine
Exert that will of your own
When you're alone
Now we'd better hurry"
And with no trace of hesitation she keeps going

Head over heels
Breaking her way
Pushing through unknown jungles every day
She's a girl with a taste for the world

"Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands, hello? Talk about responsibility. Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn't it? The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.

...Responsibility, it really does suck. Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away. It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it or we suffer the consequences. And still adulthood has it perks. I mean the shoes, the sex, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. That's, pretty damn good."

Maybe if I just continue to steal blog material from other sources, I'll never have to think for myself. And I'll never have to talk about how I feel; admit to myself everything that's wrong.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm currently happier than ever in my life before; I'm just a whinger (wow, and a big fan of semi-colons today). So I, naturally, find things to whinge about. Well, the voice in my head likes to tell me everything that's not good about me and my life, and remind me of stupid things I really don't need reminding of.

Life is a little sunshine and lollipops at the moment. Which is pretty fantabulous. Except, well, little things that I can't really mention. Things that are pretty stupid because I mean like, honestly, it was pretty obvious, wasn't it? And there used to a day when you'd actually notice that sort of stuff but I guess that day has just passed for you.

Not that I'm bitching.... or anything... <>

Not too long ago, on smithteens, we made a list of 100 reasons to smile, which sorta turned into 369 reasons to smile. So now, I'm just going to share a few of them with you. Just in case you need to smile.

13. Drawing something and having it turn out well
55. Air guitar in your underwear when everyone's asleep.
75. Jumping into the ocean with your clothes on
99. Hitting the button to cross the walk multiple times
111. When your hair decides not to do some funky thing.
122. Offering the police some donuts
137. When you suddenly look nice one morning and you have no idea why.
181. Lightsabers
200. Geeky pickup lines
217. When your friends notice something’s wrong
228. Listening to a song that speaks to your soul
279. The perfect pair of jeans
323. Stickers
357. Guys who do really girly things
367. Realizing you never completely gave up on yourself.

So, yeah, I've only been writing for 2 hours, haha. I'm gonna publish this.
Smile.
Ebony loves you!

Every minute of the day

I feel kinda crappy right now.
And I don't even have a reason.
Well, not a good one.


Here. Figure it out.

Worth every single mistake.

Hello, and welcome to June 18.
Otherwise known as Day 62. If you're weird...
I am blogging because:
a. I've been lazy lately.
b. My last blog didn't count.
c. Today is June 18.
d. I'm bored
e. I may have stuff to say.
Clearly, that's a lot of reasons.
Also, if you read this entire post, every single word, you will understand the title :L. That's right, you read it!

"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-colour boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-colour boxes, with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself a 64-colour box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colours like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-colour boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colours of like, of feeling, or articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-colour type, I'm like "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "No - I want magenta!""
- John Mayer.

I am a gust of wind. That swooshing feeling that makes you feel all cold, and run for shelter. The one that everyone wants to get away from, and they're glad when it's gone. The loud, gushing wind that numbs your fingers and itches at your eyeballs.
I don't want to be a gust.
I used to want to be a whirlwind. You know, one of those winds that fly in and everything changes in relation to them, and when they leave, everything is noticeably different.
I've changed my mind.
I want to be a zephyr. That slight breeze that you can barely feel, in fact, sometimes you don't notice it's there. But if you look for it, you will find it, and it will always be there. Gently cooling and heating, adding that little bit to your day.
I know I'll never be a zephyr. I think I was made to be a gust. But I'd like to be a zephyr, it would be nice to be a zephyr.

I knew before I told you. I knew before I told any of them. I knew before I told myself. I knew because when I closed my eyes, I saw it. I knew because that night changed my life. Actually, I knew because it didn't. And I didn't tell them about that either. Because I can't believe that I am really that person. But I knew. Oh yeah, I knew.

I am a very strong believer in the fact that everything in life can be explained by a happysad cartoon. Or a memoir. Or an episode of NCIS/Gilmore Girls. In fact, life can be explained relatively easily. I don't know why people tell me that life is complicated. People are complicated, life is simple. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes there's nothing you can do, sometimes you can't make your own choices, but it's always simple. If our drama play has taught me anything, it's that little decisions make a difference, and maybe that changes everything. But maybe we make bigger decision that are more important. And that's all that matters.

He calmed me down. That's amazing - crippled soul
I've used that memoir on here before, but I meant it in another way. I just want to bring your attention to the fact that HE CALMED ME DOWN. Because, for me, being calm is a very rare occurance, but he did it!
Usually, when I get that way, it takes about 24 hours for me to snap out of it, and be okay. Either that or a nervous breakdown. Neither are very nice. Obviously.
Instead, he took my 24 hours and made them perfect. I don't know how, and I don't know why, I just know that that's amazing. He's amazing.

And maybe everyone in the world who feels the need to give me their opinion has a point. BUT maybe I do actually know what I'm doing. In fact, maybe, I am actually capable of running my own life, and making my own decisions. Maybe I'm capable of judging character. And maybe, just maybe, I know when I'm happy.
Because I can tell you that I have not been so happy in a really long time. I mean, look at my life. Seriously, take a look. And be very very jealous. Because yes, I dare say, it is currently perfect. Sure, we freak out about assignments all being due, and only passing English by 4%, and not having time to do everything we want to. But this is perfection. I know who I am, and more than that, I love who I am. Finally.