The people that run Ebony's mind went insane and this is what happened as a result:
Thoughts of you come rushing back to me, as they always do I suppose. This is where you ride in on your white horse and tell me that everything is going to be okay; you're the only person I ever believe. With you, I could never be sad. And yet, I could never be with you. So, sad it must be, for ever more.
Could it be that maybe it's our first mistake
And Baby that's alright
It's crazy how we lost ourselves tonight
There's a reason why they say that we should give it time
But time is not enough
And that's the reason why
When you're young you fall in love
And yes, I admit it, I am lonely. I don't miss you. I just miss having someone. It feels like there's no one there to care about me now, no one who is completely focused on me. I'm trying to fill that gap, and I know it's silly, but I'm drowning people in myself just to get some sort of reaction, some sort of approval.
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
It's like nothing really bothers me anymore. Like, I get annoyed at stuff, sure, but nothing is really a big deal anymore. Which is sort of irritating. I'm trying so hard to feel something, but somehow, there's nothing there.
Oh well I look at you and say it's the happiest I have ever been
and I'll say I feel I no longer have to be James Dean,
and She'll say,
Oh yeah, Well I feel pretty happy too,
And I'm always pretty happy when I'm just kicking back with you.
So here I am, trying to keep busy with my life, but I don't really have much to do. Which is ridiculous because all year I've been complaining about not having any time. But, seriously, what do I have to do? Homework? Because none of it really matters. Study? But what's the point? (78 people, 78). Work? But I don't even like it, not like I used to. Spend time with family? But when do they even have time for me?
I’ve been down here
Down these roads
People pass through
Some stay some go
Standing here broke
Not a penny to my name
But she says she loves me all the same
I try my best
And you do to
And all you want is something you can move to
Everybody’s gotta get their kicks somewhere
Everybody gotta fit in somewhere
It's quite an invigorating feeling, not having to do anything. I feel as if my possibilities are suddenly endless. I might learn an instrument, or make a friend, or become a better me. Or... get a scholarship? Rofl, I feel like being something greater than what I am (can't be too hard right?)
Just the other day
Somebody said to me
Hey maybe you're just slightly schizophrenic
And a little out of reach my friend
I said 'yes, that's partly true'
that person you were talking about, the person who makes everything gloom and doom, that person might just be me. i'm the catalyst in making your life hell. "i feel like one of those people that's so sad, i can't even be with the happy people anymore, as if i might infect them".
-greysanatomy
Wish I could tell you there's a twist
Some kind of hero in disguise
And we're together, it's for real
Wish I could tell you there's a kiss
Like, something more than in my mind
I see it could be amazing
I want so much to impress you. I think the only reason I study so much is because when I do well, you wink at me and say "I'm proud of you", and then you smile the smile that you keep for you inside jokes with me.
Yeah, everybody loves a circus show
But i'm the only clown you'll ever know
And now you can applaud my best mistake
I love you was too many words to say
you didnt think there was anything wrong, or that his death would affect me at all, but you know what? it did. it did actually hurt. and i hate that you cant see that, and that you cant see who i am.
And I always end up regretting not waiting...
