“I want to know exactly what makes you smile, and I want to know your problems. I want to know what days you’re waking up on the wrong side of the bed; I want to know how many pillows you sleep with. I want to know why you sleep with a window open. I want to know if I’m ever needed, if I’m good enough to keep you warm at night. I want to know if I even have a chance anymore. I want to know everything about you. I want to know your past, your future, you’re betweens. I want to know your favourite colors, the things you love, well basically everything. Because I love you.”
"Tell me that we belong together." – randomperson
I've spent so much time pretending that you don't affect me.
I'm not jealous of you... I don't think.
I'm not really sure actually, I don't know what jealousy feels like.
I just doubt that I'm a good person when you're around.
You who understand everyone and everything.
You, the naturally intelligent, naturally beautiful.
You with the perfect body, the perfect family, the perfect life.
Will I ever compare to that?
When I stand next to you, can anyone even see me?
I know what it's like to live your life feeling like you're second best.
I know what it's like to need to impress everyone just so you can feel like you've beat HER, in at least one aspect.
I know what it's like to hear someone else tell you over and over how perfect SHE is. How pretty SHE is. How lucky SHE is.
I know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep at night, because you'll never ever be as good as HER.
But I don't know what it's like to be her.
I'm not really sure where this whole post is coming from or what it means. I guess, I've been thinking a lot lately about how I feel second best to her. I told her, too, and she laughed at me, telling me how silly I was for feeling like that, but it only made me feel worse. I hate it when she laughs at me.
No comments:
Post a Comment