Have You Ever - Westlife

that last blog, whoa,
it went on forever, and it was so...raw.

i mean like thinking all of that stuff, was a real eyeopener, writing it all down made me feel free, but pressing the little "publish post" button, that made me feel so... exposed.
its like, the entire world can now view my inner thoughts at leisure, just like mind reading, but more honest, and it hurts, a little more, everytime a piece of me is taken away, everytime someone reads it.

i knew it would hurt. it always hurts, to know that someone will only ever be your friend, nothing more, nothing less 'let's just be friends' apart from 'we need to talk' those are probably the most awful 4 words a girl can hear.
but i could survive all of that, its the whole not-even-wanting-to-be-my-friend thing that hurts, because you dont, you truly want nothing to do with me.
people always say 'the worst thing in the world is sitting right next to him, and knowing that he'll never be yours' but have those people ever had to look at him, a hundred metres away, knowing that he'd never, in a million years, want to sit right next to you?

but you still, care, you still try.
because, although you're 99% sure he'll never ever take a second glance at you, it's that 1% of you that holds on, that 1% of you that wins, and you spend everyday walking past him with your friends, not because you enjoy hearing him tease and torment you, not because you like the way he annoys you, and laughs at you. but because, for 10 seconds, you get to hear his voice.
his deep, soft, beautiful voice, that makes you feel weak and strong at the same time; vulnerable, yet, protected, safe. it makes you feel sky high, but at the same time, so low, it makes you start to smile, but still, feel like crying.
it's the voice that makes your breathing get heavier, your head start to spin, and your heart start beating fatser and fatster. it makes you feel singing and laughing, but also, sometimes, just screaming!
and at night, when you're thinking about him, its the voice that you feel ringing in you ears.
and after everything that's happened, everything you've been through for him, you blame that voice, because without it, you would have never fallen for him without it. and you'd never be in this mess

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?
Have you ever?

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything
To make them understand?
Have you ever had someone
Steal your heart away?
You'd give anything
To make them feel the same?
Have you ever searched for words
To get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start?

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?
Have you ever?

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life?
You'd do just about anything T
o look into their eyes?

Have you finally found the one
You've given your heart to
Only to find that one
Won't give their heart to you?
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there?
And all you can do is wait
For that day when they will care?

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?
Have you ever?

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby?
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand
How I need you next to me?
Gotta get you in my world
'Cause, baby, I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry?
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night?
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right?
Have you ever?
Have you ever?

Have you ever?