A Better Place

This is my 250th post.
But I really don't care :L
Because I have a really bad headache, and the world is spinning a little, and I can't stop coughing. And I just generally feel like crap.

So! I'm going to tell you about a dream I had last night (without mentioning names)

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He forgot. I guess he's getting old, and isn't so good with dates anymore, and maybe it hurt too much to remember that date. He forgot, as he forgets every year. But that's not what was important. The important bit was that you were there. You who I haven't dreamed about in about 3 years now. Because you're not there to dream about. It was as if we went back in time, which no one seemed to notice except me; "they just stuffed up" was all I got. I never learnt what we threw into the ocean long, long ago.
But you were there.
In all your beauty, and kindness. Your willingness to care, to learn, and to care and learn for me. Your willingness to love me. Which I don't remember all that much. In fact, I don't remember what you look like anymore. The day that your face disappeared from my mind I cried for hours on end. Last night, your face came back. But more than that, you came back. Because you never left, they just stuffed up. Did you get that? You never left. You never left me, or my world. You stuck around. They just stuffed up.
I was so excited, I resolved to tell everyone here on my blog (yes, I dream about my blog), I resolved to post your song, one last time. I resolved to make the most of having you back. For all of the fuzzy consciousness that my dreams usually are, last night it was crystal clear. I was going to make the most of having you back in my life.

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I don't have you back, they didn't stuff up, I'll never have you back, and I will never be able to make the most of having you in my life. You will never be in my life. Never, ever again.

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But here is your song, the song I can never bring myself to sing. The song that was always about you. I'm sorry I never loved you enough, I miss you.

Sha la la la la, sha la la la la

You used to call me your angel
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me close in you arms
I loved the way you felt so strong
I never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding me

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you

You used to call me your dreamer
And now I'm living out my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that time is flying by too fast

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I stilll shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even thought it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you

I know you're in a better place, yeah
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with me

I miss you
I miss you smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss you

I miss you.