World, you suck

I had a dream about you last night.
And all you did was hug.
You just held me until I could feel nothing but you, and all the pain went away because it was replaced by thoughts of you and how you felt in my arms.
Perhaps, it was the strongest dream I've ever had, and the one I most wish would come true. Yet, the one that has the least chance of coming true. Because it's you and me, and this is how it's always going to be.
I miss you.
In a way that makes me feel small and insignificant without you.
How can I be so utterly reliant on one human being for so much of my person?
But the fact is you knew me, and you loved me for me, not for the person you thought I was, and I only ever had to be me when I was with you.
I think you still have the piece of me that you took when you left, and I think I want it back.

I don't even know where this pain came from, that I feel.
I don't even know if you could take it away.
Sometimes, I just wake up, and I feel sad for no good reason.
And maybe you've changed, or maybe in my mind I've turned you into someone that you never were. And maybe, somehow, this person that I remember you to be never existed.
But if you could hug me, I think I would know.

---



Amy showed me this picture today.
It's so very depressing that she sees this and instantly thinks of me.
Because that's who I am now, the person that hates people.
And it's all because of him, I think.

Well, I mean it started with hating him in an I-want-to-hate-you-but-you-won't-let-me-because-you're-so-nice-and-you're-not-meant-to-be-nice-and-it-was-so-much-easier-when-I-could-hate-you-because-now-it's-all-overly-complicated-and-I-feel-like-an-idiot way.
And then I went on to hating me because of how I feel about him.
And now I just hate everyone.
Which is just brilliant

Goodbye world, you suck.

Ebony's Life Is Average.

First, there was FML.
Next, there was GMH.
Now, there is MLIA.
(If I'm a little slow on realising this, please don't tell me, I'll get sad)

Anyway, getting back to MLIA, it is very cool.
Well, it's funny.
And I laugh.
But then again, I'm lame.
Really lame.

When did this become about my lameness??
Moving on.

My Life Is Average. (If you are too lazy to click it, read some of these, and laugh, and then you'll want to click it. Or you won't be lame like me. And will stop yourself from clicking it. And never read my blog again. Your choice.)

Today, I went to Panda Express for lunch. The fortune cookie said "If you don't get your work done, blame it on the computer." Later that night, I didn't get my work done. I blamed it on the computer. It was a clever cookie. MLIA.

Today, I was sitting on the bus and this woman came in and looked at both me and the girl across from me and chose to sit beside me. I felt like I had won a secret competition. MLIA.

Today, my mom bought neon bandaids. I am more inclined to get hurt. MLIA.

Today, I noticed I had a small hole in the shirt I was wearing. It was old so I decided to rip open my shirt the way the Hulk does when he starts to transform. I'm 17, it was the most fun I've had all week. MLIA.

Today, while lying on the couch, I was watching a show that was basically mocking couch potatoes the whole time. So I moved onto the floor, and felt better about myself. MLIA.

Today, I noticed that a lot of people had facebook statuses about parties this weekend. I felt left out, so I changed my status to "party tonight!" and made my Sim throw a party. They'll never know. MLIA.

Today I went downstairs to turn the TV off, but my dog was watching it. So I just turned the volume down. MLIA.

Today there was an ant on my computer so I decided to change my cursor to an ant as well. I acted like a tough guy and had a great time bullying the real ant with my fake one. I think he knows who's boss now. MLIA.

Today, I noticed that the cereal I've been eating for the last two weeks is gluten free. I'm not really sure what gluten is, but I feel healthier. MLIA.

Today I was playing Baseball on the Wii. Then I looked out the window and saw my neighbour playing Baseball. I feel more technologically advanced than he is. MLIA.

Today I was using a public restroom and there was a sigb behind the toilet that said "don't flush with foot. $250 fine" I still flushed with my foot and received no fine. I felt like a bad ass. MLIA.

Today I became increasingly worried that my Sim was wasting her life by pining away for a married man and breaking up his marriage. Then I realised I had been playing six hours and had to admit who was really wasting their life. MLIA.

Today, I accidentally bought men's deoderant. A few hours later, I got a whiff and was attracted to myself. MLIA.

Today, I went to fetch some ice cream from the freezer. When I opened the container, I found that I had left a spoon in there. I thanked the me from the past for considering my future self. MLIA.