To be honest, I don't want to put up with being treated like crap by you and I've decided I don't have to anymore just because I feel sorry for you. I feel like this is a repeating pattern for me where I feel guilty for my own happiness so I let people who aren't happy treat me like I am a bad person for being happy. But I'm not a bad person and I work hard to be happy and my happiness is a struggle and I don't have to feel guilty for it.
It's crazy, isn't it? Because it's not just friends, it's almost everyone in my life. I think I've just always been told that my opinion isn't as important as everyone else's and that I'm not right unless adults agree with and all that stuff isn't true. I want to have the freedom to be my own person. Everyone keeps telling me off for not doing things that other people enjoy even when I explain why I don't enjoy doing. I just want everyone to leave me alone.
I'm trying not to live for the future and to just enjoy my right now but if the next twelve months could go a little faster than usual I won't complain. I'm sure I'll miss uni once it's over but whilst I'm here, I'm not particularly fond of it. At least at uni I can read books in class though... There are definitely some perks I'll miss.
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