Intelligent Life

If we pretend that everything is ok for long enough, maybe eventually everything will be ok.
Oh hang on, I see a slight flaw in that logic.
Oh well, no one will notice.



So I'm pretending that everything is ok; we both are.
We're pretending that it's possible for us to live together, simply because you want me to need you and I don't want to disappoint you.
We're pretending that everything is going to stay ok, and that you're not at all tempted to throw me out of your house.
We're pretending that we care about what each other want.
We're pretending that we're not both terribly selfish people.



"Let's pretend everything's fine
Put on our fake smiles and keep wasting our time
Let's pretend we're fine
Go out in style and come home in denial"



I feel like talking to you is my way to escape everything
I can just sit and talk to you and tell you everything
And sure, sometimes I feel a little stupid, and I feel like the stuff I'm telling you is petty
But you tell me that it's ok that it's a big deal
You tell me that it's ok to be selfish
That I should care about what happens to me in my life
That I deserve good things
And sometimes, I even believe you



"Here I go again
Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
Coz I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams"



You tell me that I am selfish, and have all the good things I deserve
You say that I am a bad person, that you are better
You tell me that I complain about something insignificant
That I am making too big a deal of things
You see my pain as petty
And it is
But so is crying over boys
At least you have a home to go to at the end of the day



"There are times when all the world's asleep,
the questions run too deep
for such a simple man.
Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
but please tell me who I am."



In the deepest, most distant part of my mind, I think I can almost recall a sort of happiness, but I'm not sure if it's a memory or a fantasy
Have I been happy?
Or do I just wish I was?
I still look up every time the door opens and expect to see you walking through
Remember when you used to whistle?
Fuck I miss that



The only reason I didn't go and talk to is because everytime I talk to you I feel like I should kiss you. And I don't have time to feel like that anymore.



Life tip: If you say everything with a smile, no one realises that you feel like crying ;)