Whelmed

"i just wish i could start a relationship about twelve years in, when you really don’t have to try anymore, and you can just sit around together and just goof on tv shows and then go to bed without anybody trying any funny business."

This is my four hundredth post.

Which is quite an achievement. Considering I rarely blog now a days.

But I've been through lulls before.

I think I'm just overwhelmed.

Here's a series of Things You Don't Know About Me that you don't care about but might read anyway.

I've always been the lover, never the loved. Now that I'm the loved, I'm scared I'm going to break you in the same way that they broke me. And I'm very sorry if I do.

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My Dad has never watched state of origin by himself, he's always watched it with my grandfather. Now that he's gone, I want to be there for him. That's why I'm mega pissed that we'll be on camp for origin 1. I don't care if we get a tv, or get to watch it. I don't want him to be alone.

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It makes my day when you walk past, catch my eye, and poke your tongue out at me. You always seem happy to see me, even though you barely know me. I feel special.

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I wear the necklace you gave me to work everyday. I feel like it's the only thing keeping me close to you. And I don't want to let go.

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Mum told me that she thinks I could have done better for all of my half yearly results. All of them. I wish I could stop being a disappointment.

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Watching the last ever episode of Gilmore Girls changed my life, because I will never be able to hear those words spoken to me. Never, because you are gone. And I didn't realise what that meant, until Emily said that to Rory.

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I feel like I'm letting down everyone important in my life at the moment, simply by being me. I want to change, but it all feels so huge and overwhelming and it feels like there's nothing I can do but watch my life go by, along with everyone I ever cared about.

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Lately, the only person I've been able to relate to is B'Ellana Torres.