Hope.

I was meant to blog Friday, but that never really happened...
So I decided to blog yesterday, but that never really happened...
So here I am now, to share with you my nice words of wisdom.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and it's getting easier to be okay with hard things in life. Things will always suck, and I will always lose people, both physically and mentally. I think I can be okay with that. It's hard for me, though, to not know whether or not they're going to stay.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I'm going to change. I'm going to stop being annoying, critical, rude and ungrateful. I'm going to become the person I want to be. I'm not going to complain that I don't like myself, or that I wish things would change. I am going to change. Not wait for something else to. I will change.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I deal better with things falling apart than staying together. When things go wronf, I know that people will always be there for me, I know that I can whinge and complain, and wake up in the morning and feel better. When things go right, all I have is myself. When things go right, I get lonely.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I have hope. I have faith, I have inspiration, I have belief, I have knowledge, I have wisdom, and I have hope.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and I love myself. This comes as a bit of a shock to me, the girl who always hated what she had become. Now I see that, at some point in time, everything I did was what I waned, and at the end of the day, I can accept that. And I can know that this is the person I've intended to be.
I don't want to be anyone else but me. Maybe the way I got here was a little unconventional. Maybe I went too far, ran away from who I was, just for silly little fantasies, but I came crawling back. I got here eventually. And along the way, I go to see that little glimpse of the life I never want. I've seen it all. For the experience.

Hello, my name is Ebony, and every now and then, I feel helpless. I know there's nothing I canm do to change things, and I can't just let them go, because people around me are getting hurt. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. :/