We have lots to discuss

You put in all the effort and try everything you can think of to get them to notice you. Look at me, we have the same interests and the same sense of humour. Maybe we should hang out some time, we have lots to discuss.  And they laugh straight past you to another one in the crowd. Every time. Maybe it's the same person, maybe it isn't, maybe you don't even care. It's so tiring putting in the effort every day. What are you supposed to do?
I guess what I'm saying is I'm giving up and I hope you have a great life. And if you want me in it, I'll be here.

Sometimes I feel like I should tell you all the stuff going on with me. But it's always for selfish reasons. I just want you to care about me I guess. I just want everyone to care... So I don't tell you, because you deserve better and you deserve to care about someone who cares about you too.
I hope you find that someone. One day.

And goodness you just drive me insane. I want to hold onto you but every time I try you run away and every time I let go you come back. I never really wanted to let go in the first place but you make me feel so unwanted. I wish we could be what we used to be, whatever that is, and just make it work. But I read too much into everything. And you write too much into everything. At the end of the day we both have fabricated stories in our heads of what's going on instead of saying what we mean because it's too hard.
But I think I'll be able to say it now. And maybe that will mean that you laugh at me and maybe it will mean you leave but it has to be said. I'm sorry for letting this go on.

I'm stuck at a crossroads with you because everything in the universe is stopping us from taking another step. And we plan these things out so well and then something comes in at the last minute and ruins it. So sometimes I just sit alone and think of you and cry. There's so much I want to change. I wish I could take charge of my happiness instead of waiting helplessly.
Sometimes I feel like I'm taking charge but the feeling passes fairly quickly.