For so long I thought I had fucked everything up and that I would never get another chance again or that I would never be allowed happiness or deserve happiness or that fixing things depended on other people or that being around the people with good lives would improve my life or make me more deserving of a good life but I don't think that's true anymore. Yeah, I've made some mistakes but they've been the mistakes that led me here. They are things I should have said or things I should have done but I'm ok with not having done them. I thought maybe the problem was me but the truth is I was hanging around people who were willing to hurt me and although I may have chosen to talk to those people, I did not choose to get hurt, and I cannot have expected to see it coming. Yes, things could have been different if I made different choices but I'm ok with being where I am. And I don't let people hurt me anymore. And that is a lot tougher than it sounds, and it means I've pushed away some close friends and even family members for just saying the wrong thing, but I think I've made the right decisions.
For so long I thought it would be impossible to be happy, but now I realise that happiness is in the choices I make every day. And I choose to be happy. Yeah, I'm stressed, but I'm also happy. I'm glad I am where I am now and I'm glad I made the sacrifices that led to this moment. Because I believe that I deserve it. And I believe everyone deserves it. Ans if there are people interfering with your happiness, you have to let them go, even if it's hard, even if it's forever.
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